Enough of that. I'm sure that most of you know that this is a quote from UHF, a hillarious movie about a small broadcasting station. It features several offbeat shows including Wheel of Fish, the one described above.
In this game, contestants spin a large wheel covered with fish to discover what their prize will be. They can then exchange the selected fish for the contents of a mysterious box, which seems to always be empty. Best of all, this gameshow is hosted by a martial-arts instructor, who calls all participants 'STUPID!' and probably ends up beating them up in random fight scenes. My previous quote already established that Kung-Fu is great, so mixing it with fish can only be seen as a good idea. Especially if said fish are used as weapons. Never underestimate the power of an under-cooked flounder. These things make incredible clubs! Clearly, with fish at stake, this is a serious competition.
Of course, this movie contains ideas for several other hillarious shows. Almost everyone has heard of Conan the Librarian, so I won't bother explaining that one. A bit less famous is the (doubtless made-for-TV) movie Ghandi II. Mahatma Ghandi is through with that whole passive protest thing. Now he walks the streets and beats up goons whenever he encounters them. But he's also got style. And if you ever call him 'Baldie', he's likely to spray an entire restaurant with machinegun bullets. He's Ghandi, with 100% more attitude! This would be a great show, almost as good as Jackie Chan Ninja Furniture Movers. It's too bad neither of these shows exist. In JCNFM, you could witness a group of Ninjas demolishing a different house each week as they attempted to transfer its contents. Can't fit a piano up the stairs? They'll chop it down to size in no time! No appliance is too big to be moved by these Ninja movers! Television today would be much more amusing if it could incorporate even a few of these awesome ideas.
If you had already won a delicious Red Snapper, would you trade it for the contents of a mysterious box? Would you give up that shmokey fish flavor for the appeal of the unknown? The risk is great, but there are those who are willing to accept it. However, they would be completely shocked to discover the contents of the box. So what's in the box? What item was worth the trade of their valuable Red Snappah? Nothing! There's absolutely NOTHING in the box! They are so STUPID! Of course, they could always sell the box to either a kid, a gangster insurance broker or someone moving. The money obtained in this way would easily be enough to purchase a Filet--O--Fish*, which is far better than any raw fish.
*Note that this must be mis-pronounced to properly apply. And yes, I would have a small Sprite for the sake of the future of all mankind.
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