AOWWWW! Disco is your soul, mind and body. Never has there been a better, or more appropriate avatar for this great musical style. Your whole wrestling career is based around the music, and everybody down in your home ghettos dig it. You may not be the best wrestler, but you've got the most style, and it's time to show it up to those bland boring chumps.
As mentioned above, you grew in the ghettos, grooving to the tunes of 'Staying Alive' and other BeeJee classics. Of your entire block, you were the king of the swing. Even though you didn't have all the now-compulsory disco paraphernalia, you had the flair and you had the haircut. They officially crowned you king of the block, and you were the master of boogie.
It was your devotion to disco that got you into the WWF, and your massive paycheck. You came up with the idea while you were jammin' with a couple disco enthusiasts on the streets. Those were back in the days when street concerts were common, wherein everyone would just spontaneously break into song. One of your buds, Snipah Boy by name, started doing a strange version of fighting disco as he beat an obnoxious anti-disco fanatic into the ground. And that was all it took for the inspiration to hit you.
You arranged to meet Vince McMahon, the owner of the WWF, at the downtown disco parlour. He was reluctant to meet with a no-name, but in the end, your cool and confident style won him over. When you finally spoke to him, he seemed intrigued by your idea to be a disco wrestler. Consequently, he must have liked it, since you've been working in the federation for all these years. It's only coincidence, of course, that you seem to lose every match you feature in.
In fact, you've become the proviso of the punching bag. Whenever Vince wants someone to look good, he pits them against a tough opponent against whom they can marginally prove their strength. And that opponent is always you. Of course, you're not discouraged that you always seem to lose the wrestling matches. You're more interested in the many polyester leisure suits you've been able to buy since joining the WWF. However, that changed one year ago, when Vince held the new experimental styrofoam match, the objective of which was to toss your opponent into a large pile of styrofoam for the countdown. It started like any other match; you lept into the ring, started admiring yourself in your hand mirror, and promptly got tossed into the pile of styrofoam by Razor Ramon. That's when things got serious, 'cause Razor followed you up with Andre The Giant, a big fat gorilla-of-a-guy. Needless to say, you were almost crushed, and only saved by Hulk Hogan's fast thinking.
After the styrofoam match, you had a little talk with Vince and threatened to quit if he didn't give up the styrofoam match idea. Realising that you were too valuable a resource to give up, Vince retired that type of match, and things returned to a somewhat normal state. Still, you're a dancer with a dream: to bring back the era of disco, and by direct result become much more popular and accepted yourself. This party of wrestlers should be a good way to convince popular people to give disco a try. Of course, first, you might have to give them a taste of the music that they can readily appreciate.
2 - Act as vain as you possibly can.
3 - Don't get beat up! This really humiliates both you personally and disco as a whole.
Macho Man Randy Savage: This Macho Man may be one of the finalists, but he doesn't have a bead on you! He may be stronger, but you've got style and flair! Perhaps you could convince him to support disco, on the pretext that it would make him like you.
Stone Cold Steve Austin: This wrestler has a rather intimidating reputation, which he has used to beat you around with. Once, he attacked you while you were busily examining yourself in the mirror, a low-down dirty trick.
Hulk Hogan: This defender of truth and light is the one who saved you from death in the pile of styrofoam. He may not be stylish, but he is a rather good super action hero. He might protect you if anyone is threatening to beat you up. Groovy!
Razor Ramon: This guy's a real 'bad' dude, and the one who almost killed you in the styrofoam match. You don't hold too much of a grudge though, because attempting but failing to get revenge would also be humiliating.
Brett The Hitman Hart: This professional wrestler doesn't respect you at all. He doesn't seem to understand that you're not just a puppet, and that the music is really more important than you are. You're merely the living embodiment of it.
Ultimate Warrior: This crazy wrestler has repeatedly beaten on you in the past with objects like the lead pipe and messed up your face. Your face is your livelihood, man! You can't afford to lose it!
Ted Dibiase: They call this cool cat the Million Dollar Man, and his outfits look almost as good as yours do. Amazingly, and fortunately enough, you've never had to face this intimidating wrestler in the ring.
IRS: This part-time tax collector shouldn't express any interest in you. After all, you've got no dough, having spent it all on the newest BeeJee's album (The Bee Jees 'Retired, but still writing songs, as sung by someone else.')
Jake The Snake: This guy just looks wrong to you. There's something about him that's not quite square. If you didn't know better, you'd suspect that he personally ended the disco era.
The Undertaker: A dark maniac who probably believes in terrible goth heavy metal, and that Marilyn Manson crap. They never will measure up to the greats of disco! But this guy's a good wrestler, so you might not want to say it too loud.
Andre The Giant: This is the giant ape who was thrown on top of you in the painful styrofoam match. You shouldn't resent him for that, but you do anyway.
Yokozuna: Some sumo wrestler who has come here from Japan. You've heard him talking about the Beach Boys, and you must admit that he's got bad taste if he likes those guys. On the other hand, he has been showing you lots of yen in great detail, and that stuff must be valuable!
Shawn Michaels: The 'Heartbreak kid' is your only competition in the womanising department. He may have the edge in the wrestling department, but his moves just aren't discoworthy, and he ain't flashy and debonair like you are.
Vince McMahon: The owner of the WWF. He did seem impressed with your concept for the disco warrior, but he has yet to make a Dance Match, a theme you've been pestering him about for ages.
Jesse The Body Ventura: This former wrestler is running for governor of Minnesota, and though you originally supported him (he's an old fighting bud) you have changed your mind since buying his policy book which contains his platform. It's too long and confusing, so you haven't been able to make out heads nor tails about it. And it cost $9.95, too!
The Ref: Following the age-old adage of referees the world over, this guy MAKES the rules in the matches. This is exactly similar to the dancing refs you used to meet back on the streets.
Tina Mint: Now here's a lady you'd like to impress. She may be Shawn's girlfriend, but you bet she'd go for a real dancin' man. Perhaps she's interested in disco, in which case you could get some pair dancing going, a real blast!
Monette Acre: An older lady, she might be the wife of your boss for all you know. Still, she must have money, and Vince is kinda boring. Maybe she's looking for some excitement, in the form of a raging inferno…
Penelope Ann Entwhiste: You swear that this aristocrat is from the ghetto! Despite this, she looks upper class and rather refined. AOW! Refined always gives way to pure disco dancing might!
Jim Rockford: Some thin private investigator. You bet this bum never feels the urge to look in a mirror every morning!
Simon: Who the…? AOW! It don't matter who he is, so long as he likes your style.