Wrestler Backgrounds
Vince McMahon, Monette Acre
Vince McMahon
"Money makes the world go 'round!"
"Money makes the world go 'round!"
You haven't always been a rich man. A long time ago, before you founded the WWF or met your wife, you were the owner of a cheap pasta joint called Pasta Fantasta. In your typical money-grubbing fashion, you would often use 2-week old meat in making the meat-balls, and you never did learn how to roll a crepe properly. It was while running this restaurant that you first encountered that suspicious wrestler who calls himself 'Jake the Snake'. He was actually the one who inspired your whole change of career - well, that, and the Health Inspectors who suddenly showed up on your door-step, investigating complaints by patrons about the food making them seriously ill. Fortunately, you managed to pass off the blame to your head 'chef' (which was actually you, but you didn't tell the inspectors that) and skipped town before they figured out the scam.
You then became the original founder of the WWF, the man who came up with the entire concept, and even now, years later, you're still impressed by your own brilliance. What better entertainment could there be than a show with a bunch of muscle-men slugging it out, wearing tight costumes and acting as obnoxious and colorful as possible? It was a formula for success, and so far, it's paid off in a big way. Some of your critics have accused you of corrupting today's youth, but do any of these critics have as much MONEY as you have? You certainly don't think so.
Nevertheless, it's been a tough battle to keep the WWF running through all these changing times. In the beginning, 'good guys' like Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant and Macho Man Randy Savage were enough to satisfy the crowds. But people wanted a villain as well, so you introduced characters such as Razor Ramon and Ted Dibiase, the Million Dollar Man and the very first villain in the WWF. Nowadays, it seems that the rude and obnoxious wrestlers are the ones who draw the crowds, so you've brought in people like Stone Cold Steve Austin and Shawn Michaels. The actual wrestling skill of your 'wrestlers' has never been a concern to you, so long as they keep the ratings up where you want them.
But it's not just the wrestlers themselves who bring in the crowds, but also the style of the WWF itself. In the old days, one-on-one fights, tag-team matches, and the occasional Royal Rumble provided more than enough variety for the simple minded-public. However, even mindless sheep can grow bored, and for years, you've been introducing all sorts of new styles of 'theme-matches'. The 'Coffin Matches' and 'Cage Matches' that you held were a huge success, though The Undertaker always seemed to win them, and your 'Bash at the Beach' idea was a great success as well. However, even you miss your call every now and then, and such was the case with the 'Styrofoam Match'.
The 'Styrofoam Match' was a new theme-match that you held exactly one year ago. The object of the match was to slam your opponent into a big pile of styrofoam, and hold them there during the count-down. And everything was going fine until that moronic Latino, Razor Ramon, tossed Disco Inferno into a pile of Styrofoam, and then threw Andre the Giant on top of him. If it hadn't been for Hulk Hogan's quick actions, the Inferno could well have suffocated to death. After the match, you were nearly sued by the State Health and Safety Committee (SHSC), and only got out of it by promising to discontinue the match. It just goes to show that not even a marketing genius like you can be right on every time.
Following the failure of the Styrofoam Match, you've been working hard to try and rebuild the popularity of the WWF, and tomorrow's Championship Match is the main climax of that effort. Choosing the contestants was vital to the continuation of WWF, and even now, you're not totally sure you've made the right choices.
Well, your first choice was easy. Stone Cold Steve Austin may be an obnoxious jerk who you personally dislike, but he is pretty well the most popular of all your wrestlers right now and is sure to draw the crowds. As long as he doesn't try and put the Stunner on you again like he did last month (to virtually no effect, mind you), things should be alright with him.
No, the one you're concerned about is the other competitor, Macho Man Randy Savage. The Macho Man was very popular in his prime, but that was years ago, and social conditions have changed greatly since then. Putting him in this match is supposed to be a bit of a 'publicity stunt' to put him back in the public spot-light, but you're not totally sure that this is the right business move. In fact, it was mainly due to your wife's influence that you made this decision in the first place. Things haven't been too great between the two of you for a while, and this seemed like a good way to appease her for the time being. However, since this match is so crucial for the survival of the WWF, you are more than willing to change that decision if someone convinces you that it will improve the popularity of the match.
After all, you're in the entertainment business, and for you, better ratings mean more money. Speaking of money, you're a little concerned about this party too. You'd intended it to 'boost the moral' of your wrestlers, but at the same time, some of these wrestlers are big eaters, and you're trying to keep the costs down as much as you can. Both food and failure could cost you a lot of money tonight, and, though you hate to quote Steve Austin, for you MONEY really is the bottom line.
Money: $100,000
Wrestling: 3
Items: Heavyweight Belt (locked in your office), Key to your office
1 -- Outrageous Commentating: By making all sorts of outrageous comments about his current match, Vince can enrage an opponent so much that they no longer think straight and lose some of their skill. This gives them a penalty of -1 to their wrestling skill. 5 Uses
1 -- Skimp on the party as much as possible. Any extra food eaten is money out of YOUR pocket. But at the same time, some of those wrestlers can be pretty nasty, you'll have to be careful not to make them TOO upset…
2 -- Don't let your wife get too close to Shawn Michaels or Macho Man Randy Savage. You don't like the way she's been eyeing those two lately…
3 -- Make the Final Match more popular anyway you can. You're willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish this goal.
4 -- Make sure the Belt stays in your office until the Final tomorrow. If you lost that, then you could be in BIG trouble.
5 -- Make sure the SHSC don't find out about that Pasta Fantasta fiasco, or else you could be in for a LOT of trouble.
Macho Man Randy Savage - One of the original wrestlers in the WWF. He was popular in his day, but now you're not too sure. He had some other part-time job during the past year, and tomorrow's match marks his full-time return to wrestling. You better be careful, you're afraid that your wife might like him a little TOO much.
Stone Cold Steve Austin -- Currently the most popular wrestler around, thus the reason why he's fighting in the Final. You actually think that he's a total jerk, but you can put your opinions aside where money is concerned.
Hulk Hogan - Also an original wrestler, and a real goody-two-shoes. His type don't seem too popular these days, so you've been cutting down his air-time and making him share a locker with Andre the Giant. You know that he really believes in the 'spirit' of the WWF and doesn't approve of your capitalistic methods, but you don't really pay him much heed.
Razor Ramon -- The "bad guy" is a very skilful wrestler, not that that means much in the modern WWF. You've been cutting down on his air-time recently, and you heard that he joined some kind of Latino steel-drum band a while back. Oh well, who knows what those brainless Latinos like him will do next?
Brett "the Hitman" Hart -- This guy could be a bit of a problem. He takes the wrestling business a bit too seriously, and is always talking about taking the "real story" to the media. You know that he doesn't like you all that much, so better keep your eye on him!
The Ultimate Warrior -- The Ultimate Warrior was once a wild and uncontrollable wrestler who has now taken to wearing some silly poncho at all times. For a long time, you've suspected him of peddling foreign objects to the other wrestlers. You're actually really not too concerned about his activities, so long as they add interest to the matches.
Ted Dibiase, the Million Dollar Man -- Ted Dibiase was the first villain that you introduced into the WWF, and in your personal opinion, the greatest. However, as far as you know, he never actually fought a real fight, merely using his vast wealth to bribe his way through them. After all, everyone's got their price for the Million Dollar Man.
IRS -- One of your wrestlers who now collects taxes for the government!! He'd better not be after the WWF fortune, or he's gonna find himself out of a job.
Jake the Snake - The most suspicious man you've ever met, he's been in the WWF almost since the beginning. You don't know why you let him bring that stupid snake of his into all the matches, but you're afraid that if you don't, he'll tell everyone about seeing you in Pasta Fantasta or something equally nasty.
The Undertaker -- A rather dark and scary wrestler who's also been fairly popular lately. He always used to win the infamous 'Coffin' and 'Cage' matches, so he's a pretty good wrestler too.
Disco Inferno -- You basically only have this guy in the WWF for comic relief. His crappy wrestling abilities and sad devotion to disco music always make him an amusing figure to beat on. However, you think he's been a bit upset at you ever since he was nearly killed in the Styrofoam match, but you're not really too concerned about that.
Andre the Giant -- Also one of the original wrestlers, and the largest man you've ever seen. About the time of the Styrofoam Match, he came to you asking for a loan to buy his Aunt Bertha some kind of birthday gift. Being the generous guy that you are, you gave him the loan (with some hefty interest, of course), and speaking of which, he still owes you back $400 for that. Maybe now would be a good time to get it.
Yokozuna -- A Japanese wrestler who you let be the main villain of the WWF a couple years back. Actually, the main reason you let him in was that he paid you off with a large amount of yen, the Japanese currency. You don't know exactly how much the yen is worth, but you're sure that it's very valuable. However, he's also a bit of an eating machine, so you're a bit worried about him at the party tonight. Maybe if you could convince him to pay in yen to cover his costs…?
Shawn Michaels -- The Heartbreak Kid, and an infamous ladies' man. He's a very popular wrestler these days, though none too skillful a wrestler. The only problem is that your wife's been just a little TOO friendly with him lately, better keep him away from her as much as you can.
Jesse the Body Ventura -- This former wrestler left the WWF to become the governor of the State of Minnesota. Hmm, it could be helpful to have friends in the government, especially with all those Safety Inspectors around, maybe you should be extra nice to him tonight.
The Ref -- This guy's been reffing the WWF for years, but as the focus of the WWF has slowly changed over the years, you've been needing him less and less. He seems overly concerned with "fighting fair", as far as you're concerned. Still, as long as he stays out of your way, you're willing to put up with him for a while yet.
Tina Mint -- Shawn Michaels' latest girlfriend, though how long she'll last, you're not sure. Surely she must be concerned with Shawn's attention wandering perhaps the two of you could strike a deal to keep Shawn away from your wife…
Monette Acre -- Your wife. Lately, the two of you haven't been getting along all that well, and you're concerned about her faithfulness. Part of the problem is that you don't allow her direct access to any of your money, something that you're not about to change any time soon. You'd better make sure she doesn't get too close to Shawn Michaels or Macho Man without you being around.
Penelope Anne Entwhistle -- A rich aristocrat from England or somewhere who has expressed interest in possibly investing in the WWF. Naturally, you're always eager to get funding, so you've invited her to this party so you can hopefully talk her into it.
Jim Rockford -- Some kind of snoopy investigator who just kind of showed up. You're not too happy about him being around, but you think it might look bad if you just kicked him out. You hope he hasn't been hired by the SHSC to find out about that Pasta scandal!!
Simon -- Some stupid skid who just walked into the party without an invitation!! You tried to enforce your policy of "No Simon" upon him, but it didn't seem to have any effect. There's got to be some way to get rid of this punk!
You grew up pretty well on the streets, and from an early age, you learned to take care of yourself, both physically and socially. However, you got out of that life by hooking up with the wealthy manager of a local high-class restaurant, marrying him, and appropriating yourself of his money. It's worth mentioning that through all your marriages, you've kept your maiden name, simply because you don't want the hassle of changing your name all the time. While your first husband had both a decent enough income and an extreme knowledge of proper table manners (which have rubbed off onto you), he didn't have all that much in the way of investments, and when your then-husband was tragically run down in the street by some lunatic driving a gigantic black monster-truck, it was time to move on. You then married a famous boxer by the name of Abdullah the Butcher, and it was then that you made the kind of connections that would eventually allow you to meet Vince. Things were going well enough with Abdullah until he was killed in the boxing ring by some fat Italian by the name of Balboa. After that, you decided that next time, you would go after a man rich enough to set you up for the rest of your life. And that man was Vince McMahon.
It was completely for the money that you married Vince, but even so, you were dismayed to find out what a greedy, capitalistic and tight-fisted pig he was. Never once in all these years has he allowed you direct access to his financial accounts, and any money you get, you get from asking him. In fact, you're not sure you've ever been in his office, where he keeps both his financial papers, and the famous Heavyweight Belt. Not that he's ever treated you TOO badly, he DID give you a key when you asked for it, though your house is a bit skimpy on the furnishings as far as you're concerned, but it's the principle of the thing. You want to be the one in control of the money, rather than be at the mercy of a man like Vince.
After all, much as he would never admit it, Vince really owes you some of that money. The WWF wouldn't be half as successful without your ideas. Why, it was merely due to your influence that Vince put a stop to that ridiculous 'Styrofoam Match' idea that he tried a while back. It was some new sort of theme-match, the objective being to slam your opponent into a big pile of Styrofoam and hold them there during the count. You heard that one of Vince's stupid wrestlers almost got killed in the match, and while you don't care too much about the wrestlers, the WWF is the key to Vince's, and ultimately your own, wealth, and you don't want to see it ruined.
Well, you shouldn't say that you don't care about ANY of the wrestlers. Vince is constantly busy with the business, so once you finally get his money and dump him, you've already starting looking for your next prospective husband. Once you have all that money, it would be nice to get some strong, good-looking, brainless oaf who would be easy to manipulate - and Macho Man Randy Savage, one of the finalists for tomorrow's Championship match, fits that description perfectly. In fact, it was because you wanted to curry favor with the Macho Man that you convinced Vince to let him be one of the finalists. Shawn Michaels would also be an excellent choice for your next husband, but at the moment, he has some wimpy girl-friend in the way. Oh well, taking her out of the way shouldn't be TOO much of a problem. Manipulating both men and money has always been your greatest skill, and this time, you intend to come away from this set up for life.
1 -- Chat it up with Shawn Michaels and/or Macho Man Randy Savage.
2 -- Find a way to ruin Vince and get all of his money for yourself. A greedy capitalist like him MUST have some dirt in his background…
3 -- Don't allow any bad table manners at this party. If there's one thing you can't STAND, it's someone who talks with their mouth full!!
4 -- Get that skid Simon ejected from the party. You can't stand dirty clothes, either.
Macho Man Randy Savage -- Now this guy is really deserving of the name 'Macho Man'! Just look at those bulging muscles! Thanks to your influence, he's going to be one of the final competitors tomorrow for the Heavyweight Belt.
Stone Cold Steve Austin -- You don't like to admit it, but there's something about this man's obnoxious attitude that scares you. He's the other competitor in the Final Match tomorrow, so you really hope that Macho Man can beat him without getting too badly hurt.
Hulk Hogan -- A wrestler who's been with the WWF since the very start. He's a real goody-two-shoes, and you don't' really see how he could be much help to your plans.
Razor Ramon -- Now this greasy Latino is someone who you'd rather not have at the party. You're sure that his table-manners are attrocious, and that stupid tooth-pick that he sticks in his mouth is just disgusting.
Brett "the Hitman" Hart -- A real "professional" wrestler, you know he's been a little angry at Vince lately, though you're not sure exactly why. Hmm, maybe you could use this to your advantage…
The Ultimate Warrior -- Some wrestler who apparently had a little trouble with the Ref a while back. He's taken to wearing this poncho which you've noticed to be of particularly good quality. Wonder where he got that, anyway?
Ted Dibiase, the Million Dollar Man -- Wow, this guy is even richer than Vince!! If only you could find a way to get your hands on HIS money…
IRS -- Some wrestler who used to work for your husband and who now collects taxes as well. He could be either an ally or an enemy, depending on how well you play things.
Jake the Snake -- Hey, who let this guy bring that snake in here? You've never trusted this wrestler anyway, he always looks like he's got a dozen foreign objects up his sleeve or something…not to mention, you HATE snakes!!
The Undertaker -- Some creepy wrestler who dresses all in black, he better not even THINK about bringing any of those moldy coffins of his in here.
Disco Inferno -- Doesn't this twit know that disco went out of style years ago?
Andre the Giant -- A giant of a man whom you've often spoken to about his poor table manners. However, he must have good clothing taste, 'cuz you heard something about Vince lending him money to buy a nice cajmere sweater a while back.
Yokozuna -- Some Japanese sumo wrestler whose manners are even worse than Andre!! However, he seems to have a lot of japanese yen, which you're sure is very valuable. If only you could get your hands on it somehow…
Shawn Michaels -- Now this guy, the 'Heartbreak Kid', is a major hunk! Too bad he's got a girlfriend right now, isn't it?
Vince McMahon -- Your husband, and the long-time owner of the WWF. You dislike him strongly, and are searching for some way to get all his money for yourself. A man like him MUST have secrets, it's merely a matter of ferretting them out…
Jesse the Body Ventura -- A wrestler who used to work for your husband, but who then became a politician. Hmm, political people can have quite a bit of power, it might be a good idea to have him on your side…
The Ref -- This guy has worked for Vince for years, yet you still don't know his name. You don't think Vince pays him very much, so he's not really worth worrying about.
Tina Mint -- The bimbo who currently hangs off Shawn Michaels' shoulder. Surely there must be some way to take her out of the picture…
Penelope Anne Entwhistle -- Some rich aristocrat from France or something. You heard that your husband personally invited her here…you wonder if anything funny could be going on between them…?
Jim Rockford -- A private investigator, eh? Maybe he could be useful for finding out what you need to know about Vince. You hear that these guys always have a soft-spot for the 'lady in distress'…
Simon -- What? Who is this kid? Whoever he is, he's extremely grungy and dirty, and on top of that, he kind of acts like Stone Cold. You don't care how he got in here, but you want him OUT.