To properly understand the significance of the above quote, one must not only speak it incredibly quickly, one most also slur one's voice up several octaves with the final declaration of waffles. That's because this quote comes from Eddie Murphy, and those are the sorts of things that he does. All the time. In fact, that seems to constitute the majority of his acting skills. Crazy as it may seem, Eddie's pay cheque seems to grow in proportion to the speed at which he talks. That's the only explaination I can come up with for the twenty million dollars he earned for the Nutty Professor sequel. This also coincidently explains the fact that Adam West never became the star actor he could have been. His slow and stilting dialogue simply couldn't measure up with the pure speed of Eddie Murphy's mouth. Which is kind of like 7-11 convenience stores: it's open 24/7, and nothing worthwhile ever comes out of it.
I have had the misfortune of seeing several Eddie Murphy movies. But you really only need to see one, since Eddie's role is always the same: he's a fast talkin' guy with an attitude bigger than any pay cheque he could possibly receive. And if you do decide to see only one Eddie Murphy film to test this analysis, I would highly suggest you avoid making it the Adventures of Pluto Nash. Although I haven't personally experienced the pain brought on by viewing Pluto Nash, I've heard that it's classified as a weapon of mass destruction only slightly less potent than Kazaam. And that's saying a great deal. All that said, Eddie Murphy has had a few good movie appearances. Or one, to be exact. He makes a perfect Jackass in Shrek, which isn't surprising, given that most of his roles could be described in a similar fashion. In fact, his role in Shrek is the one that inspired this week's quote.
Most people who have seen Shrek can agree that it's a good movie. Most people, however, don't notice the sheer number of times that Donkey brings up the possibility of making waffles. And often at the most inappropriate moments. Like most people, I can only attribute the characteristics of a character to the actor playing them. Thus, I have concluded that Eddie Murphy has a huge appetite for waffles, and demands to make them every morning. Now this might not seem like such a bad thing. In fact, most people probably wouldn't refuse the opportunity to eat Eddie Murphy's waffles. Not that they would get a chance to do so. Because Eddie Murphy ain't gonna give them none of Eddie Murphy's waffles. Eddie Murphy gonna eat all the waffles himself! Then he gonna sit down on their couch and start watching great movies like Pluto Nash. And if anyone try to stop Eddie Murphy, he just gonna start talkin' faster and faster. And in the third person. 'Cause Eddie Murphy do that sort of thing all the time.
I can only speculate that Eddie Murphy would be bad at making waffles. The picture on the main page shows his likely reaction upon eating one of said waffles. Some say that these waffles might even be enough to bring about a black plague on the land. And as the picture on this page demonstrates, Mr. T knows one of the few ways to get Murphy to shut up. Hopefully, it will also stop him from starting up production for Pluto Nash 2: Waffles from Outer Space.
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