With that out of the way, I should start by mentioning that I won't be spending any time complaining about taxes themselves. Many people devote a great deal of effort towards doing just that, but I'm not one of them. I don't begrudge The Government their taxes. What I do most definitely despise is the filing of the taxes. Which is really what I should be doing right now. Instead, I've decided to write up a quote that includes as many tax puns as possible. This might seem like a boring topic, but let me assure you that writing about it is still way more exciting than actually doing it. Though really, almost anything could be given that distinction.
If you're not old enough to have yet filed your own taxes, you're probably wondering what the big deal is. You're also apparently ignoring my eloquent disclaimer, which is a feat you may soon regret. Anyway, my biggest complaint about filling out tax forms is that it's boring. Really boring. Almost on the same level of boring as reading an anthropology textbook. It's just a huge tax on your energy and patience. Furthermore, it's insanely difficult! And yet, I'm constantly gnawed by the feeling that it shouldn't be. Having taken courses in higher order calculus, I would be tempted to think that I'm qualified to handle the math component of this task. At least until I actually get started. Then there's all those flimsy taxsheets, each with like a billion little boxes that need to be filled with numbers, many of which seem to come out of NOWHERE, and why do so many of these instructions refer to forms that don't seem to exist? I didn't even make very much money last year, so how can this be SO COMPLICATED?! Ahem. As you can see, taxes aren't only measured in dollar amounts, but also in sanity.
Yeah, some people will suggest that you just hire an accountant to deal with the taxes. Or that you get one of those computer programs that fills in all the blanks for you. I don't know. Those solutions seem like a bit of a cop-out to me. It's like admitting that you can't even figure out your own financial situation, which is a bit more humbling than I'm willing to accept at this point. Besides, filing taxes is really a rite of passage, sort of like walking over a bed of hot coals. Except more confusing. And you're only going to be burned financially, instead of just literally. In case you're wondering, this comparison was brought to you by the field of Anthropology, now with twice the presumption and 50% less science.
I guess I've probably taxed enough of my webspace writing this up. Now it's time to enter the nebulous world of taxes, where normal math ceases to function. And normal ideas of boredom are swiftly redefined. Why can't anything else financial be as much fun as Stock Ticker? Although I have to admit, there's a game that really does tax your patience.
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