Watch out for snakes!
Who said that?


This is generally a good warning. It really is quite wise to watch out for snakes, because tangling with these reptiles can be dangerous. Unless you're Steve Irwin. Or perhaps especially if you're Steve Irwin, and you have a stick in your hand. As common sense suggests, poking snakes with sticks is not usually a good idea. But I guess it can be quite funny when the animal starts to get agitated. Steve's confusion about the source of the snake's anger is always quite amusing. Could it be having a pointy stick thrust repeatedly into your body? Still, what Steve lacks in 'wisdom' is easily made up for with enthusiasm and gusto.

All that aside, let's get down to the quote at hand. As I was saying above, telling people to watch out for snakes is usually a fine thing to do. Except in the movie from which this quote originates. That would be Eegah, another horrible film that I have now seen courtesy of MST3K. And let me tell you, there are far more deadly things to fear in this movie than mere snakes. Such as the face of the main star, Arch Hall Jr., which is possibly the most hideous thing I've ever seen. That's why all the posters for the movie had pictures of Eegah the Caveman instead. Richard Keil might look pretty ridiculous in that fake beard, but at least his appearance won't shatter glass and create a widespread panic. As Croooow, one of the MST3K robots mentions, Arch Hall's pugnacious face tends to inspire a huge desire to pistol-whip it. I can't imagine why any producer would willingly hire this chump to appear in their movie. I can see them hiring Arch to appear in a rival movie, but not in your own. Unless you're his father. Which turns out to be the case for Arch Hall Sr., the producer of Eegah. You gotta love those nepotistic ties. Or in this case, hate them with a passion.

I could go on for pages about how much I despise Arch Hall Jr, and that's without even mentioning his dune buggee or his swinging combo, both of which are well worthy of my hatred. But you've probably heard more than you want to on that front already. Instead, I'll advise you to watch out for snakes. This is the same advice given to the heroes of Eegah before they wander off the road searching for giant footprints. Who gives it to them? It's not at all clear. All the characters at the scene are on the screen when that line is spoken, and none of them say it. Sounds like the director forgot to turn off the cameras before giving his actors some advice. Not that they need it. Some snakes are shown during Eegah, but never in any sort of proximity to any human characters. All the same, the 'bots are careful to remind us to watch out for snakes at all sorts of opportunities. Such as when the heroine's father decides to go alone into the Shadowlands looking for traces of Eegah.

I don't totally understand why anyone would really want to find Eegah. He doesn't exactly make good company. But then again, hanging with him is surely infinitely better than hanging with Arch Hall. Plus Eegah is a pro on the bass, both as a weapon and a musical instrument, apparently making him the life of any party. Whereas Arch Hall's hideous face makes him the death of any party he attends. In any case, the heroine's father is portrayed as some intrepid explorer, but he's actually rather inept. Deeming Hall's dune buggee to be too dangerous for the trip, he instead gets a helicopter to drop him off in the middle of the Shadowlands so that he can wander around on foot. Which is clearly much safer than a dune buggee. If Arch Hall is driving it, anyway. Okay, so maybe I can't really blame him for that choice. He probably just wanted to get out of the movie as quickly as possible, through any means necessary. And that's completely understandable.


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