We don't have enough power, Cap'n!


There's absolutely no doubt that engineering is a tough discipline. It tends to involve a lot of math, calculators and pranks. In fact, the main focus at my university seems to be the last of these three. But there's still no doubt that it's a tough job. After all, it's not easy to gut a car and hang it from an overpass. And it's equally difficult to remove the vehicle from such a location without paying a few hundred dollars to hire a crane. The engineers can apparently manage both of these things, while the university admin can do neither. Still, engineers face a lot of responsibility. It's up to them to design the buildings and bridges that we use everyday. These constructs have to be able to withstand intense pressure, and so do the people who make them. Sometimes it proves to be too much. As such, I believe the engineering profession in general would be better off if they looked for inspiration from one of the greatest engineers of modern times. By following his code, engineers everywhere could surely improve their performance. Or at least frustrate their superiors. Which is also important, as Montgomery Scott would probably tell you, before complaining that he needed some sort of crystal.

Yes, as the picture used for this quote on the main page would imply, the paramount of engineering that I'm referring to here is none other then Scotty, chief engineer of the USSS Enterprise. Although it might be slightly paraphrased, this quote comes from Scotty many times in The Original Star Trek series. It clearly demonstrates one of Scotty's most important engineering techniques. No matter the circumstances, Scotty will always claim that the ship doesn't have enough power to do whatever Kirk orders. Evem if the Enterprise has just been serviced at a space station, Scotty will claim that the power is at dangerously low levels, and any sort of engine activity at all will cause it to start breakin' up. At first glance, this might not seem like such a useful technique. It might even lead you to think that Scotty is utterly incompetent. This would be a great misinterpretation of the situation. By claiming that the ship has no power, and could break up at any moment, Scotty lowers everyone's expectations. That way, when the ship 'somehow' finds the power to complete the necessary operation, Scotty is praised as a miracle-worker. Which is really nothing more than the respect he deserves. As some would say, that's the beauty of low expectations. Scotty's other engineering techniques often include claiming that the ship requires some sort of dilithium crystals in order to function. I cannot count the number of episodes that focus on the crew's attempts to get more of these crystals. The Enterprise must guzzle these things faster than Kazaam generated bad reviews. And that's saying alot. Must have been because the ship was out of power.

I often hear comparisons of the many Star Trek series, and am frequently aghast by the number of people who seem to prefer The Next Generation over The Original Series. For the sake of brevity, I'm not even gonna bring up the way Kirk could easily put the strangle-hold on that cueball Picard. Wait, I just did. Well, regardless of that, I intend to mainly focus on the ways that Scotty beats out any other engineer that's ever appeared in the Star Trek universe. Aside from the techniques above, Scotty is also the only person in the world of Star Trek who can appear in an episode wearing one of the old Red-Shirts and not wind up dead by that show's conclusion. Anyone who can break the curses associated with those Red-Shirts is surely a powerhouse indeed. In addition, Scotty has an amazing ability to devour lunch at any time of the day, and then to claim that someone (possibly George Takai) stole that very same lunch. Who can even come close to these skills? Certainly not Geordi "Wish I could see' LaForge. In the immortal words of Montgomery Scott, Geordi simply doesn't have the power. And he's sure to break up even before eating a lunch at Warp-8.


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