Actually, there's a big dispute about that. Certain symmetrical detectives with a taste for Filet-Mignon might not agree with my statement about Holmes' competence. While Sherlock's methods may be a bit questionable at times, there's still no doubt that he's one of the most famous detectives. And though poking snakes with his cane and taking cocaine may not seem like good ideas, they still got results in the end. Somehow. I rather like the portrayel of Sherlock's investigative methods in the movie Without a Clue. In this film, Holmes is merely an actor hired by Dr. Watson to serve as the leading man for his series of magazine articles. Watson is the true brains behind the team, and dreams of being known as the 'Crime Doctor'. He's the premodern Quincy! But without a sidekick who knows when the coffee's ready. In the end of this movie, however, the bumbling Sherlock Holmes is forced to solve a mystery with his deduction skills in order to locate and defeat the evil Moriarty. After several hours of thought, the only conclusion that Holmes comes to is that Moriarty's true name might be Arty Mori. Villains like to do that sometimes, you know.
Sherlock Holmes and his interminable smugness have been around for a long time. So why would I decide to do a quote about them now? Well, it seems that Holmes is making a big resurgence in society. And by society, I clearly mean Shanghai Knights, the latest Jackie Chan action film, and the sequel to the classic Shanghai Noon. If you don't believe that these movies are great, you should go see them. Now. There's no need for further consideration. As Holmes could tell you, it's an elementary conclusion. In any case, Sherlock Holmes is mentioned several times in the aforementioned film. One of the characters even disguises himself as Sherlock Holmes. Of course, the books have yet to be written, and this fellow's disguise and alias is ostensibly the inspiration for Sherlock Holmes. As such, the movie concludes as the two main characters are making fun of the name, declaring it to be the worst possible name for a detective. I have a feeling that certain detectives who put particular emphasis on their little grey-cells might have to agree with that assessment. And Moriarty too, for that matter. Then again, Arty Mori really isn't much better.
The great thing about this quote is that you can use it as a response to almost any sort of question. For example, you might want to ask me about the origins of this quote. The answer, of course, is elementary. At least to me. Which means I can act all smug and superior and completely avoid answering the question at hand. This tactic becomes even more effective when you really don't know the answers to the questions being asked. By declaring them elementary, you can thereby convince everyone that they should already know the answers, and that further questions will only cement their own stupidity. Seriously, politicians could really use this technique, as opposed to their usual methods of avoiding the questions, such as the popular no comment and the jetski escape. But that's all beside the point. Since I do know the source of this quote, I will use the powers of deduction to reveal it to you. I could further increase the effectiveness of this method through use of a pipe and an assistant who doubles as a medical doctor. All of this together should be able to give you a clue about who I'm referring to you. If not, then you might truly be Without a Clue. But I'll get to that later. First, I will reveal the source of this quote to be Sherlock Holmes, one of the greatest detectives around.
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