If you're not prepared, valuable picnicking opportunities could be passing you by -- even as we speak!


I hope you've come prepared. If not, you could be missing out. Valuable opportunities could be passing you by even as you read this introduction. Yes, inducing panic has served as an effective marketing technique for quite some time. That's why almost everything is a limited time offer, while supplies last or for a few days only. People hate to think they may be missing out on these ostensibly amazing opportunities. Although if you've ever been in a mall right before Christmas (it's something of a yearly tradition for me), then you know consumer panic isn't nearly as good for the rest of us as it is for the vendors who perpetuate it. In any case, this quote seems to be aimed at creating some of that frantic consumer panic, at least until the consumers in question realise that the only thing they might be missing is a valuable picnicking opportunity. Because, yeah, not exactly earth-shattering importance here. It's not like they're even missing a picnic that's been provided for them. They're just missing a valuable opportunity to eat one of their own picnics. I know our modern society is supposed to get worked up over almost anything, but I just can't muster the energy to panic over the picnicking opportunity I might well have just missed.

This valuable quote opportunity was brought to my attention by my contact down east, who I'll refer to as Allison, possibly because that's her name. Thanks, Allison! She sent me a link to the webpage that features this quote and proves once again that no matter how benign the topic, some people will still take it too seriously. Because these people? They're serious about picnics. And that's why they want to save you from living a life bereft of picnics. They might also want to sell you cutting boards. I think I picked up a few clues to that effect while perusing the page. And it might well serve as the ulterior motive behind all this focus on picnics. Because you've got to be prepared!

Speaking of being overly obsessed with picnic baskets, there's also Yogi Bear. Yeah, I'm aware this is a bit of a tangent. It really wouldn't be worth mentioning if Yogi hadn't appeared in an awesome episode of Harvey Birdman, Attourney at Law. Which, in case you didn't know, has just been renewed for a third season. So I guess the producers aren't going to miss out on the valuable opportunity to air a show that's actually good. Anyway, the episode in question is sort of a play off the UnaBomber. It features Boo Boo, Yogi's usually useless sidekick, standing accused of being the Boo Boo-Bomber, an enemy of capitalism who blows things up with explosive picnic baskets. In his usual attempts to find a big case, involving the law, Harvey ends up defending Boo Boo in court. There are several twists and turns throughout the trial, but in the end Birdman proves his client innocent by pointing out that Boo Boo couldn't have operated the electric typewriter used to type up the Boo Boo-Bomber Manifesto because the cave shared by Yogi and Boo Boo has no electricity. All told, it's a great episode, and well worth checking out. And exploding picnic basekets would actually create a legitimate reason to panic at the prospect of picnics.


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