For those who are unaware, Picard is a character in my Deep Space campaign. I was searching for his theme song online when I happened to discover a hillarious track about Picard at a McDonald's. I'm not sure who was responsible for this track, but I find it extremely amusing. Of course, I can't use it as the character's theme, but it serves well as an inspiration for many good quotes. This track features Picard pulling up at a McDonald's drive-through window and talking in a classically serious and stilted Star-Trek fashion while using several of his most cliched lines. The introduction is great, and will be reproduced below, with all credit going to whoever made this clip.
Picard: (Rolls down window.) Hello! I'm Patrick Stewart, star of TV's Star Trek: The Next Generation and host of the documentary series MGM: When the Lion Roars.
Attendant: That's...nice, sir. Can I take your order?
Picard: Yes! You can.
Attendant:...and what is your order?
You have to love anyone who pulls up at a drive-through and then just introduces themselves. That's such a great way to place an order. It also helps that Picard sounds eerily like Sean Connery during this dialogue. That's rather shmokey. Throughout the rest of this conversation, Picard decides to order a small sprite for the sake of the future of all mankind and vows to go to the first window to a new dimension more wondrous than our own, or the first window of the drive-through, whichever comes first. I will spend no more time describing it, as you should simply find it and listen to it yourself for maximum enjoyment. And so it is that I bid you and your people farewell.
Space is the final frontier, and is filled with unimaginable dangers which could all prove disastrous for the future of all mankind. In fact, one of these threats is unveiled in almost every episode of Star Trek. It always falls to Starfleet to defend the world from these dire threats. They leave this task in the capable hands of their Captains, who will never fail or stray from their duties. Captain James T. Kirk has proved his mettle many times by wagering the lives of all the people on his ship in desperate attempts to outsmart his enemies. This always works. Kirk is also never afraid to wager the future of the galaxy on his own fighting skills. He'll put it all on the line with his patented strangle-hold. (Even more powerful with the proper battle music playing.) Now that we've seen what Kirk will do, we must examine the reactions of other Captains to these threats. Captain Jean-Luc Picard has had to face these perils many times. How does he react to these dangers? What is his method for saving the Galaxy? Well, for the sake of the future of all mankind, he would be willing to have a...small...Sprite. And likely a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and a Filet--O--Fish. When under attack, Picard's only tactic is to attempt to reason with his opponents, even while they beat him senseless. His only other defense would be to declare himself Patrick Stewart. This would also fail rather miserably.
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