"Pachinko!!!!" - Nicolas Cage, abandoning whatever credibility he may have had as an actor, by chasing after little tiny pachinko balls in a lunatic-like frenzy in a series of Japanese tv commercials to promote the game of pachinko.
Yes, we live in a day and age where the power and influence of Hollywood celebrities has never been greater. We lap up their sordid affairs on the internet like Pavlov's dog, we elect them to the highest levels of power whenever we get the chance, and we buy the products they endorse without hesitation...until now. Yes, my friends, I offer you a service that will cause even the most rabid celebrity fan to break their addiction: www.japander.com After seeing Cage act the fool (and I can not say with enough sincerity that the man is a complete buffoon in these ads), Harrison Ford engage in pantoime beer drinking with fanatic zeal, Jean Claude Van Damme karate kick his way through a chewing gum ad, Brad Pitt toboggan down a flight of stairs, and a host of other Hollywood stars sell their souls (or at least all semblance of dignity) in these ads, you will never respect a Hollywood star again.
Be that as it may, if you're someone who likes generous portions of cheese (and I most certainly am), you can't help but be amused by these commercials. And frankly, though some may consider it a sad commentary on the state of the film industry, I find these ads to be more entertaining than many of the major movies being made today. In fact, I think almost any movie could be improved by adding a segment wherein Nick Cage chases pachinko balls with unmatched intensity. Because that's just pure entertainment. Not only that, it supports one of my theories about Mr. Cage.
I've recently had the chance to view many of Nick's best works (for reasons that will be explained below), and while doing so, a friend and I noticed that all of Nick's characters seem to display an uncanny inability to handle the truth. This in turn causes him to completely freak out at least once in each film, after which he usually presents ridiculous theories to shield himself from the truth. The most pronounced example of this is in Snake Eyes, an otherwise awful movie that is partially redeemed by a scene in which Nick accuses one of his allies of having bad eyesight and needing glasses as a way of denying the validity of their information. Nick displays similar tendancies in The Rock, Face/Off and many others. It's almost too much to be a coincidence, and it makes me suspect that Mr. Cage has a clause in all of his contracts insisting that everything he appears in must present him with the opportunity to freak out at least once. This would probably explain his behaviour in the Pachinko ads; confronted by the unpleasant truth that he somehow signed on to such a low class commercial, Cage would probably have no choice but to freak out while chasing after that little ball.
As promised, I should probably explain why I've been watching so many Cage movies lately. Aside, of course, from their stellar entertainment and starpower. In my most recent roleplaying adventure, one of my friends decided to play the character of Nicolas Cage. In order to properly create the character, we decided that some research was in order. Cagefest quickly ensued, an evening during which we screened the best works from Mr. Cage's long and celebrated career. Needless to say, this was the best research I've ever done. This provided my friend with plenty of good material to forge into an awesome character. I could easily spend a whole quote story rambling about the character of Nick Cage, but that's a topic for other weeks. Suffice it to say that he was larger than life. Except when standing next to the massive form of Sean Connery, who was larger than him. And this would certainly cause him to freak out.
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