Who among us didn't, at some point in grade school, spend some free time with this educational software classic? Who could not instantly fall in love with a game that let you lead a family of five across the vast open country of colonial America in search of the fabled Oregon Valley? It was especially enjoyable seeing how far you could run your family into the ground (Come on: we ALL fed the family crumbs under the 'grueling pace' setting).
Sooner or later, calamity would befall the family, but thanks to the then novel design feature of naming your characters, the worst ailment became great comic material (can you say 'Skeletor has dysentary' without laughing?). Then there was the hunting, fording the river, and the raft ride from hell at the end. To some, a way to kill a rainy lunch hour (and your fictional family). To others, a rite of passage. What does the Oregon Trail mean to you?
Of course, there's a lot more that could be said about the dangers faced on the Oregon Trail. I don't want to spoil too much, but let's just say your fictional family really does need to watch out for snakes. Also speaking of spoilage, I loved the way you could hunt down a buffalo that yielded 900 pounds of meat, and yet only bring back about 100 pounds to your wagon. Could the wagon not carry any more food? Actually, that theory makes a lot of sense given the delicate nature of the wagon's parts. I've never personally purchased a wagon tongue, but if ever I were to do so, I would make sure it came with a warranty. 'Cause those things seemed to break upon contact with human hands. Seriously.
As you can probably tell, I have many fine memories of Oregon Trail. To that end, I suppose a few thanks are in order. First of all, to the makers of Oregon Trail, who managed to craft a game that was both 'educational' and fun, which is a rarity indeed. Especially in an era of gaming mediocrity wherein releases like Word Munchers were the norm (EATING endangered words?! NOOO!!). I would also like to thank my contact in Japan, who sent in this great quote suggestion, and in so doing, reminded me of this hilarious game. He also sent in the brillant summary featured above, which I found just as amusing as any trip down the trail itself. Finally, I'd like to thank nostalgia. No classic is complete without it.
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