There are two main reasons why I chose to put up this quote. The first would have to be the imminent arrival of The Two Towers, the next major Lord of the Rings movie. Anyone who has yet to see the first one should go see it now. And if you are unwilling to do so, you should go see The Tuxedo instead as penance. Indeed, both these movies are very popular, and deservedly so. So, can The Two Towers successfully follow in the awesome footsteps ot its predecessor? I am tempted to say that it can. That's because previews and commentaries seem to suggest that it has far more battles. That can only be a good thing. Especially if Gimli the Dwarf participates in those battles. I believe I might have mentioned the might of Gimli before. His inclusion was the single greatest part of the first movie. It's true that he didn't get many lines, but the ones he had were very good. Especially when he was boasting about red meat, right off the bone. In addition, Gimli was certainly the most courageous and mighty character. While all others argued and bickered about what needed to be done with the Ring, Gimli lept into action and attempted to smash it with his ax. Of course, this only resulted in a broken axe, but it proved that Gimli was a man (or dwarf, more accurately) of action. And the loss of the axe was inconsequential, since Gimli had an infinite supply of them anyway. That's not even much of an exageration. He breaks and throws many axes, but still always has another ready for action. Clearly, he should be the star of the movies!
Some have often said that imitation is the best form of flattery. That brings me to the second purpose for this quote. Anything so great as the Lord of the Rings clearly deserves a parody. And in this case, a fitting parody could be the Lord of the Cookies. The story centers around Momrond, a wise woman who has baked many incredible cookies. She gave some to the elves, the dwarves and even the humans. But the largest of all was given to the Dad. Many conflicts were fought over these tasty cookies, and eventually they were lost at the bottom of one of the deepest freezers in the land. But darkness was brewing in the east. In the land of Mordor, the Dad was stirring. He had eaten his cookie, but his appetite demanded more. He dispatched his minions to find the other cookies, and bring them to him. Momrond could not allow all the cookies to fall into the possession of the Dad. They would have to be hidden in the one place where the Dad would never look. That would have to be the fires of Mount Dhoom, deep in the lands of Mordor. But who could safely convey the cookies such a distance without succumbing to their temptation? After all, even holding the cookies made one want to eat them. Finally, they settled upon a dwarf named Gimli, who would clearly get a starring role in this parody version.
Of course, it would need to go on from there for many, many pages. Complete with minute descriptions and elvish poetry. Lacking the patience for such things, I will leave it at that. With the featured role of Gimli, I think that the Lord of the Cookies would make a great film. Note that the parody is purely fictitious. Any similarities to real people is purely coincidental. Really.
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