For those who are unaware, that last line came directly from the lips of the Troll Shadowhunter, the new orc hero presented in the Warcraft III expansion. I started playing the Frozen Throne about a week ago, and quickly recognised the inherent greatness of the Shadowhunter. Although a bit wiry, he is clearly better than the new sissy human/blood elf hero, who is about two feet too tall and fifty pounds too light to be a beefy dwarf. Of course, the Shadowhunter also has far better lines than his 'human' counterpart. These include this week's quote, where he suggests that you get a righteous groove going on. He also claims to be jammin' at various inappropriate times, refers to people as boss man and declares himself to be pretty scary. Which he certainly is, especially given his cajun-flavored abilities. The best of these is called Big Bad VOODOO (they might have forgotten to capitalise it), which makes everyone on his team INVINCIBLE. Except for himself, unfortunately. Which means he can pull a Baron Samedi and get killed really fast. But that's not even the scariest thing about the Troll Shadowhunter. Most frightening of all was the pre-game editing, in his disfavour.
You heard me right; the Shadowhunter was struck a grievious blow before the game even hit the store shelves. I've been reliably informed that in the beta version of the game, this jammin' Troll wore a creepy VOODOO mask over his face at all times. But by the time the game came out, this mask had mysterious disappeared, thus greatly crippling the Shadowhunter's chilling charisma. Who wants a VOODOO man without a mask? Even Baron Samedi got that part right! What were the people at Blizzard thinking? More to the point, why weren't they thinking? They made some other questionable changes as well, though not so critical as this one. For example, the catapults had their name changed. No one can really say why. Was it somehow offensive to cats? They also changed the Black Sphinxes into Destroyers. This is slightly more understandable, as any Undercover Brother certainly wouldn't want his culture associated with those crazy things by the forces of The Man. I wonder what they might think about all the Black Knights you can find referances to. If the folks at Blizzard were worried about offending their players, I think they definitely should have left out the elves. All of them. Because they make me furious. The fact that they decided instead to get rid of an inoffensive but highly cool wooden mask is in itself way scary, mon.
I believe I promised that this quote would be pretty scary. And it is, for several reasons. Most obviously, it involves VOODOO, and we should all know how dangerous that can be. Both for the practitioners and the victims, as Live and Let Die and the Temple of Doom can tell you. I'll admit that I've featured VOODOO quotes on this site before, though it's not really due to any sort of fascination for this creepy power. No, the best thing about VOODOO (aside from the way I always spell it with capital letters) is most certainly the outrageous accents of those who practice it. This accent has best been described as a troll accent. You might think it has other origins, but that's ridiculous. Ja makin' me crazy.
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