The Green Lantern: The leader of the Justice League. He enjoys ordering his people around and doing no work himself. His power is his preferance for the color green.
As you can probably tell by now, most of this quote simply involves mocking those old superheroes who used to be prevalent so long ago. As such, none is to be taken too seriously. Still, for a guy who does nothing, the Green Lantern sure looks ripped. Like all He-Man characters, in fact.
Our world, as we know it, has many super-villains. Some of these include Grant Devine, George W. Bush and Stone Cold Steve Austin. In order to fend off these deadly evildoers, we also have many super-heroes. Many of them are famous, such as the Batman, Superman and Jean Chretien. Others, however, are less well known. And these are the ones I wish to speak of today. All of these unacknowledged heroes are part of the Justice League, an elite force of heroes that almost fights evil in all its forms. I say 'almost' because they don't actually do anything. But if you need a hero, and no one else can help, neither will they! The leader of the Justice League is the Green Lantern, and it is from him that I draw today's quote. He's a guy who wears a green jumpsuit, mask and carries, as his name would imply, a green lantern. It should first be noted that there's actually nothing special about this lantern, except for its color. In fact, the Green Lantern's only superpower is his preferance for the color green. That's really why he's not much of a superhero. When people call the Justice League for help, his first question is about the color of their clothes. Only if they are wearing green will he consent to help them. Of course, his 'help' doesn't usually help at all, since he just dispatches one of his incompetent heroes to deal with the problem. For your possible enjoyment, I have included a list of these unsung heroes below.
The Flash: The Flash can run really fast. And that's about it. This means he can get to the scene very quickly, but can't do anything once he gets there, except flee at incredible speeds.
The Human Torch: Some people speculate that the Human Torch is actually a superhero. In truth, he is simply a guy who was set on fire by the Green Lantern. Now, he runs around burning, screaming that he's a 'human torch!' If anyone ever put out his fire, he might actually be powerful. (You'd almost have to be to endure that burning for so long).
The Green Arrow: This guy wants to be either Robin Hood or the Green Lantern, but is no substitute for either. He doesn't even carry any arrows for his 'legendary' Green Bow!
Mr. Tom Jones: You may not know that Tom Jones is a member of the Justice League. But thanks to his repetitive song, he's actually one of their most powerful members.
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