Most people have probably heard the saying instructing them to beware Greeks bearing gifts. This advice is almost on the same level as that which instructs you to beware of men named Shaimus, and as such it should probably be followed implicitly. But if you have to beware Greeks that are bearing gifts, imagine the precautions that must be taken against ancient Greeks bearing tools. As the game Agora demonstrates, these ancient Greek construction workers are extremely dangerous. Far more so than their contemporary colleagues. And it's not because they attack you with their crude tools, though this would certainly also be bad. In fact, these workers seem to always be on task, and therein lies the peril. They work a bit too hard, and won't stop even when commanded to do so by a Crazy Greek Merchant. These workers will expand said merchant's shop, whether he wants it or not. You might not think that this tireless, unstoppable construction force is a bad thing. You'd be wrong. In expanding these shops, the workers also make them much more susceptible to fires and floods, which are almost as destructive as the workers themselves.
In order to fully portray the menace that these ancient Greek workers present, I should really explain the rules of Agora. Ostensibly, it's about some Greek merchants (insanity not always included, though it was in our games) who are trying to make more money than their rivals. To do so, they build shops within the city. The profits of these shops are directly related to the number of open paths leading to them. Not to products or prices of any sort. Ancient Greeks didn't care about such things, apparently, and would frequent shops based solely on their ability to reach them. Which might be a good policy, given that the shops can and are easily boxed in and totally closed off from the rest of the city by opposing players. Here's where the terrifying Greek workers enter the picture. When a player expands the city right next to a merchant's shop, that shop is automatically expanded to any new spaces, often causing it to become boxed in and an even greater fire hazard. It's almost as if the merchants' own builders are out to ruin them. They, more than the other players, are your real opponents.
As you can hopefully tell by now, this game is fast and fun. I didn't really provide a very good description of the rules, but it's so simple that even a Greek Merchant could play. In fact, this game really could be considered an exercise in graph-building, with only a mere pretext of Greek Merchants to add interest. But that's what makes it so great. When you put it into the Greek context, the way the game works really ceases to make sense. And can lead to inspiration for a quote of the week. And when that happens, everyone wins. So long as Ancient Greek webmasters don't try to expand my site simply because Geocities has gotten bigger, thus making it larger than my allocated space.
After two quotes that could almost be considered mainstream (almost), I decided that it was time to devote attention to something much more obscure. Arnie might be back someday with another memorable quote, but that just might have to wait for around eight years, much like his appearance in Terminator 3. But I think I've already covered that topic, so I'll shift my focus from the Terminatah to...Ancient Greece?! Yes, I would also be surprised if I hadn't been the one to come up with this quote. And it really isn't much of a quote, but rather a lame excuse to rant about the amusing properties of a game that I recently played.
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