T4: Election Day


It's true that I've prominently featured Ahnold in several previous quotes, but should it be any surprise that he is back? Especially given his recent massive electoral win? Yes, California recently found itself in the midst of a Total Recall, a situation that many outside the state looked upon as some kind of joke. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing; in fact, I consider the recall election to be an extremely funny joke, and one that will certainly enter the record books both for its vast number of candidates, and its great potential for political puns. As you might know, I'm all in favour of puns, and Ahnold's platform was full of them. I don't know what he really thinks about the issues of the day, but I do know that he believes that Gray Davis, the former governor, terminated California's economy. Now that's a convincing argument!

Unfortunately, unlike me, some political observers aren't satisfied by a bunch of empty puns in place of actual policies. More worrying still, some moviegoers fear that a career in politics will sap away all of Ahnold Shwarzenegger's time, thus making further Terminator sequels impossible. I believe just the opposite. I think the political arena will provide great inspiration for the next Terminator movie. In fact, I suspect that initial development may already have begun. In the great tradition of T2: Judgement Day, I foresee the eventual release of T4: Election Day. Judgement Day has arrived for the electorate of California. How will they survive the awkward ballots and cheesy campaign slogans that are so prominent at this time? Only by electing an action-hero Terminator robot to the position of Governor! After all, if he can cock a shotgun with one hand, you'd better believe that he can save the economy. The obvious disconnect between these two feats is something the movie won't dare dwell on for too long. Instead, it will skip right to another action/chase scene with massive explosions left and right, which is just what the voters want to see anyway.

Once again, the villain of this new Terminator film would be Skynet, the malignant AI that has plagued mankind since the release of the original film. On previous occaisons, Skynet was attempting to blow up the world using its own nuclear arsenal. This would pave the way for the Rise of the Machines. However, in this movie, Skynet's plans would have a much smaller scale. Rather than trying to destroy the world, it would instead attempt to terminate California's Economy. In order to accomplish this feat, Skynet would send a T-1000 Terminator back in time to become the state's governor, and thus drive it to ruin. Upon reaching our time period, this liquid metal Terminator would quickly assume the alias of Gray Davis, and seize the state's reigns of power. Really, that's the only reason I can think of why Davis would be so intensely disliked. 'Cause no one likes an evil Terminator sent back to destroy them or their economy. The humans would employ the same counter to Skynet's technique that they'd used so successfully thrice before. Ahnold would be sent back to our time, this time charged with protecting the economy. His own desires would obviously be irrelevant, since he is a machine.

As you can tell, this would make a great movie, and really fuel Shwarzenegger's next bid for re-election. If it received even the same amount of support as his recall bid, it would surely be one of the best selling films of all time. Much like Ahnold will surely be one of the best governors of all time. Mainly due to this puns, but his education platform will likely also play a role. Especially if he advocates getting more teachers by sending big, macho cops into kindergarten classrooms. The resulting tumours would, of course, be both hotly denied and entirely coincidental.


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