Google-Plex


At first it seemed innocent enough. A new search heuristic developed through the intense power of graduate studies. An idea to test this new method over the internet. Thus, a titan was born; a force we know as Google. It didn't take long for this new search engine to pick up steam. And once it did, there was no stopping it, except by hitting the stop button on your browser. The other engines didn't even see this new threat coming. Metacrawler traffic slowed to a crawl in comparison. Lycos didn't have a pun associated with its name, leaving it with little chance to compete. And so Google was crowned the king of the search engines.

This title alone wasn't enough for the folks over at Google. They've continued adding new features to their online domain with an alarcity that would make Al Gore proud. Email, thesauri and many other tools have followed. More insidious still, Google has been ruthlessly invading the english language. The word's been verbed, and people are now all about googling things, which sounds like some sort of horrifying euphemism. Unfortunately, Google has become much more than just a verb; it's now a physician as well. I've heard some of my own colleagues talk about booking appointments with Dr. Google. I'm wondering how you give a piece of source code a degree, and why my programs haven't gotten any.

Another feature they've introduced is Google Maps. At first blush, Google Maps might also seem like an entirely benign, extremely useful tool. However, Google's intentions have now become crystal clear, with the unveiling of their latest ominously titled project: Google Earth. It doesn't get much more blatant than that. They're not even trying to hide their ambitions at this point. They want to google the Earth itself. Under this light, the Google maps take on a much more sinister overtone. They are clearly tactical tools intended to assist Google in its plans for global domination!

Like the cold war, they say the Search Engine wars were won long ago. Yet Google seems to have precipitated a new arms-race in their continual development of new and dangerous tools, clearly with the intent to form a global junta. I can only imagine what maniacal services they'll come up with next. I have to think that one will involve searching out and destroying their detractors. They've already got the first part down, so it's just a matter of time before we get Google Bounty-Hunters. I suspect that they'll also be restructuring cities to make them more relevant to the citizens. This will probably involve the construction of really big multiplexes, which will be called Google-Plexes.

And who's going to stop them? YAHOO?! I don't think so, though I maybe shouldn't be saying that on this site. I doubt we can Ask Jeeves for a solution either. At the end of the day, the world might be in something of a pickle

Ridiculous conspiracy theories aside, I still use Google for all my searching needs. It does seem to work better than its competitors, and performance is really all that matters to me. I don't think it's wise for folks to let their emotions guide their searching needs. It's probably better to remain agnostic about search engines.


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