Despite what it may seem, the above paragraph is not at all the focus of this quote story. In fact, this quote is merely the best excuse I could come up with to deliver the following rant. It deals rather loosely with the police force, so I figured the connection was almost good enough. Frankly, I am sometimes dismayed by the amount of time police investigations take. Note that these statements aren't meant to offend our fine police force; I know that these people work hard at their jobs. It's just that the process of investigation can be long and grueling, and doesn't always lead to accurate results. As such, I would like to propose an alternate process that is much faster and cheaper, though it will still lead to inaccurate results. But these incorrect results can be achieved in a much more cost-effective fashion. So everybody wins! Somehow. In any case, this first occured to me recently while viewing an old episode of Scooby-Doo. As most should be aware, Freddie and his gang of crime-solving kids should be considered the model of modern law-enforcement. They solve their mysteries in the space of a half hour, using only a minor amount of resources that usually include gas for their Mystery Machine and a bunch of food to satisfy Shaggy's enormous appetite. They don't even seem to get paid for their work! Clearly, Freddie's gang should be an inspiration to detectives everywhere. They present the best, and easiest way to capture nefarious criminals, regardless of whether they're disguised as some sort of fake monster. Thie technique can be summed up in a single line, spoken with great confidence by Freddie.
"Now we just have to set up a trap to capture the criminal!"
Yes, a trap. This should be the method employed by law enforcement everywhere. Note that Freddie does not advocate discovering the identity of the criminal. No, instead he suggests simply constructing a trap. Anyone foolish enough to stumble into this trap can only be the guilty villain. Think of the costs that could be saved! We wouldn't even need to have trials! Simply stepping into a ridiculous trap set up by the police would be more than enough proof to convict a criminal. And despite their idiotic nature, these traps always seem to work! And they require only minimal resources and effort. As long as the police keep a large stock of rope, roller-skates and springboards, they should be set to go. This would be the perfect way to wrap up unsolved mysteries. And the criminals would have gotten away with it, too, were it not for those meddling cops.
The above quote is really nothing more than an invitation to make a so-called 'funny' move. Especially when said quote is spoken by some sort of law-enforcement official. After all, these officials don't want their captives to make them burst out laughing through any sort of series of funny moves. Because that's a real threat in such situations. You should never underestimate the comedic abilities of criminals that are in the process of being arrested. They can be real jokers. Especially if they are The Joker. In that specific case, use of this week's quote would be entirely appropriate. But in all seriousness, I've noted that 'funny' seems to have a negative connotation in such circumstances. And I'm not sure why. Personally, I've always believed that being funny was a good thing, unless of course you're The Joker, in which case the rules are entirely different. Many people don't seem to agree with me on this. They have often accused me of being 'funny' in fashion totally similar to the way they might accuse someone of being a criminal, and a bad example for someone. As such, I am sometimes forced to avoid being funny, though in the process of these attempts, I often end up committing the sin anyway. I can only imagine what might occur if I was given similar instructions from an officer of the law. And I imagine it would not be good.
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