The scene is set. A dimly-lit video arcade, featuring a pay-phone in one corner and a large Foozball table in the center of the room. Those who are most observant might notice that the pieces for one of the Foozball teams look a bit odd. Most, however, would simply notice that two big fellows are currently engaged in a heated game, the ball shooting back and forth with maximum velocity. To one side, a woman approaches to use the pay-phone, but suddenly she is stopped in her tracks. Stopped by one of the Foozball players, who suddenly turns away from the game to shout at her, "I hope you're using 1-800 Collect, foo'!" The identity of this Foozball player is now revealed as one Mr. T, famous for his incredible might and vast quantities of gold chains. And his enthusiasm for ensuring everyone uses the proper long distance service. The woman replies that of course, she'll use 1-800 Collect, and save a buck or two. But who wouldn't, if faced with the wrath of Mr. T? Suddenly, in the split second where T has seemingly let his guard down, his Foozball opponent makes his move. He fires a trick shot right towards Mr. T's net. But, of course, it doesn't get through. It's instantly blocked by Mr. T's goaltender. "That was an amazing save!" gasps his opponent. "I'm all about saving, foo'!" replies Mr. T. Only then can one easily see that everyone of his players on the Foozball board is a mini-replica of himself.
Beware! A dramatic recreation of events is to follow.
For those who haven't guessed, this quote is from yet another 1-800 Collect commericlal involving Mr. T. It might not be quite as good as the one where he gets buried in the sand, but you still can't go wrong with a combination of Foozball and Mr. T. Then again, it's easy to go wrong with just Foozball. Some people consider it a grueling sport. To me, it just looks like two people hunched over, turning sticks. I'm sure there's some skill involved, but not nearly as much as there is in Stock Ticker. And you don't see that being played at the Olympics! In any case, they recently showed an A-Team marathon on TV, and I was most impressed. I always knew the show was good, but it was even better than I thought! This "Solid Gold" A-Team marathon featured like ten hourse of the A-Team, including a great deal of T. In one episode I saw, the enemies hit Mr. T with lead pipes and he didn't even flinch. (Why they use lead-pipes rather than more deadly weapons, I don't know. Do the villains think they're playing Clue or something?) I pity da foo' who hits T with lead pipes. Or doesn't use 1-800 Collect.
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