This finally brings me to Ice Station Cool!, the subject of this quote. Located in Disney's Epcot Center, Ice Station Cool quickly became one of my favorite attractions, mostly for highly biased reasons. In this incredibly cool entertainment complex, visitors are able to sample Coke beverages from all around the world. Yes, the sponsor of this attraction is none too sublte, but this in no way detracts from the pure awesomeness of the Ice Station. Admittedly, there's a reason Coke hasn't tried to market some of these beverages globally. China's Watermelon Coke hardly deserves to be Coke at all, and Italy's Crappy Coke tastes like very bad mouthwash. Vanilla Coke only seems better by comparison, which is quite possibly their motive for presenting these drinks. Indeed, people might be inclined to abuse these free offerings, if they didn't generally taste so bad. But on the incredibly hot days they have in Florida, any type of Coke can only be a good thing. Especially if it's consumed without the frosty haven of Ice Station Cool.
But that's not all! As some people should be aware, Disney's Epcot Center prides itself on featuring more educational attractions than the average theme park. And Ice Station Cool definitely fits in with this educational flavor. As you enter the Ice Station, you are greeted by the sight of a frozen statue drinking a bottle of Coke. A nearby plaque describes this figure as Refreshus Maximus, one of the earliest known humans to be frozen during his search for refreshment. The plaque goes on to declare that the discovery of Refreshus Maximus finally answered the question that Coke Coologists had been investigating for years: Which came first, man or refreshment? Coke has finally answered this question for us, and humankind can only be refreshed by the result. On that note, I can only thing that it would be great to be a Coologist. These guys are real professionals. It takes a lot of training to be that cool. People say that law school is hard, but I bet obtaining a Coology degree would be just as difficult, and would involve drinking a whole lot more Coke. But I'm equally sure that it would also be way more fun. Just like Ice Station Cool!
As some readers may be aware, I just returned from a most excellent vacation down to Florida. It's truly a very tourist-oriented area, with more attractions than can conveniently be counted. When you consider the vast number of theme parks in the area, it's really amazing that the market hasn't become saturated. Saturated in Coca-Cola, that is. Not that this would be a bad thing at all. In fact, I would want it no other way. Since Coke seems to sponsor every attraction in the area, no matter where people spend their money, Coke is still the big winner. Of course, Coke's not the only company that sponsors rides at these theme parks. In fact, almost all the new, big attractions at the parks come to us from some company like Toyota, AT&T or Nestle. Should we be concerned? Should we send clueless protesters to stage 'die-ins' in front of these attractions? I think not. Let's not be silly here (though it may be too late to stop that). As long as the rides don't specifically advocate the purchase of Nestle chocolates, I think we have nothing to worry about. Besides, short of the Indiana Jones Adventure ride, some of these corporate-sponsored attractions are the best ones to be found.
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