Getting down to specifics, the commercials I'm talking about here are promoting Bryant & Stratton, some college down in the States with way too much advertising money. Please note that I know nothing more about this place than what they themselves claim in their own ads. Which already tells me more than enough about the quality of Bryant & Stratton. Like most schools, their goal is obviously to drum up enrollment. Apparently, the best way they can find to do this is to feature some slick guy on their commercial exclaiming this week's quote. Go to college? He just didn't have time! Plus, he didn't know if he'd fit in. But at Bryant & Stratton, he was learning the things that really mattered! First of all, I'm not sure if this guy's providing a good example for other students. His main selling point for Bryant & Stratton seems to be that it takes less time than other colleges. In other words, as long as you're lazy, you'll fit in just fine. I'm not sure this is the example they should be trying to set. Seriously, this quote is just three words away from: Do my assignments? I just didn't have time! Plus, I didn't know if they'd fit in. I guess that's sort of to be expected when you cater to the lazy demographic. Unfortunately for them, the lazy demographic really isn't easy to spur into action because, wait for it, they're lazy.
Anyway, the commercial goes on to show some generic people walking around on some rather generic looking grass. Wow! Bryant & Stratton has grass! Now I'm sold! Of course, there's nothing that says this grass is actually part of the college. I wouldn't put it past them to be just filming on some guy's lawn. Because making a real commmercial? They just didn't have time! Now here's where we get to the insulting part. During this scene with its suspicious grass, a voiceover explains that Bryant & Stratton is the only college where you can really shine! Think about that for a moment. Now they're implying that everyone in the world is lazy! While that might not be far from the truth, I have to object by saying that most of us are capable of a bit more than the slickster on their commercial. And yet they seem to be saying that a college that celebrates procrastination is the only place where we can really succeed. Way to motivate your audience, Bryant & Stratton. Into mocking and hating you, that is.
The commercial makes only vague mentions of the programs available at Bryant & Stratton, summarizing them basically as the skills that you really need to succeed. Considering that the people who seem to attend this place are only those willing to put in absolutely no time or effort, I have the creeping suspicion that Bryant & Stratton is really doing nothing more than handing out email degrees. After all, email is a technology skill that really matters. So once you've set up your account, they send your degree right over. This would explain the extremely low time committment required to graduate from Bryant & Stratton. And it's the only college where I can really shine? That's really rather depressing, actually. Carry this topic any further? I just don't have time. So maybe they're right about me after all.
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