For those who can't guess, this quote was inspired by the commercials for the new Vanilla Coke. In fact, the above paragraph is spoken in one of these commercials, with only a few modifications for dramatic effect. In this advertisement, some punk sees a hole in a fence and decides to stick his head through. This really doesn't say much good about his intelligence, but it does verify the fact that he's very curious. And his curiosity is rewarded. For the Vanilla Coke man and his burly bodyguards are just standing behind the fence, waiting for some young fool to stick their head through (this doesn't say much good about their intelligence, either). As soon as the young man's head pops through the hole, one of the bodyguards grabs him in a headlock. The Vanilla Coke man then declares that their visitor's youthful curiosity has served him well, and gives him a new Vanilla Coke. I'm really not sure I agree with this analysis; Vanilla Coke is alright, but is it worth a painful headlock?
And it's definitely not worth looking behind every fence in the hopes of finding the Vanilla Coke guy.
The carbonated beverage industry has released a whole gaggle of new products within the last few months. Evidently, pop technology is an ever-advancing field. However, progress can be painful, and frankly the original is often best. Still, Vanilla Coke isn't as bad as some other softdrink inventions. Take the work of Pepsi, Coke's chief rival. They've created new Pepsi Blue. I would say 'Unleashed' would be a more appropriate description. Sources suggest that this drink both looks and tastes like Windex. I can personally confirm the former, and fortunately not the latter. Some other horrifying hybrids include Diet Lemon Coke, which can more accurately be described as Diet Pledge, Fruitopia and the oddly-colored Lizard Fuel*.
Of course, almost all these other drinks are actually owned by Coke by Pepsi. And probably sponsored by Coke, too, since Coke sponsors everything. Likely including this webpage. As such, I feel a detailed comparison of Coke and Pepsi is necessary. Some say their tastes are identical, but most know that is simply not the case.
By reading this quote, your youthful curiosity has served you well. You will be rewarded with a new Vanilla Coke. Of course, there are some people who wouldn't consider this much of a reward. In any case, I think you will find the slight hint of vanilla alluring, and the flavor: smooth. Reward your curiosity, with new Vanilla Coke.
Comparison
Coke
Pepsi
Taste:
Coke has a full, smooth flavor.
Pepsi tastes disgustingly sweet, as if
someone just took Coke and dumped some sugar in it.
Commercials:
Diet Coke had a commercial featuring Indianna Jones. It just doesn't get any better than that.
Pepsi had Bob Dole. Ouch.
Global Influence:
Coke invented the modern image of Santa Claus, which is now universally accepted. That's huge!
Pepsi has a stupid symbol. I know that doesn't fit into this category, but I had to mention it somewhere.
*Please note that Lizard Fuel is not necessarily bad; it just has a strange color.
Return to Jaridis Blade's Gallery of Quotes