Always accuse Colonel Mustard as soon as possible. It works surprisingly often.
Some people say that Clue isn't much of a game, and is merely a waste of time. But this is simply not so! Clue actually requires a lot more skill than people think! Truly, it requires strategy (as mentioned above), logic, careful thought and a good memory. Those are the things you need to win a game of Championship Clue. The main difference between the normal game and our championship game is that the latter involves alot more jokes about Colonel Mustard (who often prefers a wrench to a revolver as weapon, strangely enough) and many attempts specifically to fake out your opponents. Only a game like Clue allows you to accuse YOURSELF of committing a deadly crime. They simply don't make games like this anymore. This brings me to my next topic, which involves several new variations of Clue that we created. One of these will be detailled below.
This game would be played exactly like normal Clue, but with the people, rooms and weapons replaced by the locations, denizens and perils found at the University of Saskatchewan. If you are unfamilliar with the University, you may not understand all the referances that will be mentioned below, but it would take simply too much time to explain them all. In any case, in this version, detectives must try to uncover who killed U of S President Peter MacKinnon (a fine substitute for Mr. Body, I say), while roaming the U of S campus.
This is a quote I actually use quite often myself. As most people would know, it is inspired by the great board game Clue, perhaps the best board game ever created, with the possible exception of 'Smath, a game so great few dare play it. But that's beside the point. In any case, any one of the trademark clue characters easily beats out Uncle Pennybags any day of the week, especially Colonel Mustard. That's where this quote comes in. To give some background on this splendid whoduunit mystery game, I'll just say that the objective of the game is to find out who killed the rich Mr. Body, in which room and why. In theory, the answer is supposed to be different and random each game, but it seems to turn out to be Colonel Mustard in the hall a disproportionate amount of the time. That's why you can routinely see someone using this quote almost every game. Since you've bothered to read this far, I'll reveal to you my winning strategy for any game of Clue. This very technique has allowed me to emerge victorious from many a game. Because this is such a confidential secret, I can't allow just anyone to see it. You will have to prove your DETECTING skills in order to uncover it. (Translation: If you want to learn this cunning tactic, simply highlight the section below with your mouse.)
This game would not feature the usual suspects, such as Prof. Plum, Mr. Green and the Colonel. Instead it would feature many of the more colorful characters at the U of S. This would include Glen Beck, professor in (bitterness) economics. There would also be the goofy engineers, the dreaded foreign graduate students, the registrar, the U of S bookstore, Stan 'Call me Stan!' Shaddock and Maclean(?), the unquestionably evil math prof.
As you will see on the list below, there are many dangers at the U of S aside from the conventional wrenches and lead pipes. A small sampling of these deadly weapons will be listed below. Glen Beck's weapon would be the boring lecture, or possibly his incredible bitterness at all living things. The engineers could kill with their foolish and apparently dangerous pranks. (Although they're more likely just to hurt themselves...) Foreign graduate student lecturers could easily bring anyone down with their undecipherable accents. The registrar has her confusing registration forms and bureaucratic red-tape. As could easily be guessed, the book-store is armed with high prices and HUGE lines. Stan has his boring star-maps and big telescopes. Finally, Maclean boasts his deadly math website.
U of S clue would feature many locations that could be found around the campus. These would include the President's house, the bowl, Quance theater, the Arts Buffeteria, the Maze-like engineering building and the Ali-Baba computer lab. And finally, replacing the perennial hall would be the infamous tunnel.
As you can see, this game would be a masterpiece. I think it would sell very well, at least on campus. But even in this new version, it would probably still end up being Colonel Mustard more often than not.
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