Would you like Poland with that?

What was Neville Chamberlain thinking? I just don't get that whole appeasement doctrine. Proponents of this strategy seem to be saying that if someone is acting like a big enough jerk, the only proper way to respond is by giving them whatever they want. And then throwing in Poland, just to sweeten the deal. Am I missing something here? Because otherwise, it seems really obvious that this sort of response would only encourage people to continue being jerks. So since this strategy doesn't seem to work on an individual basis, I don't see any reason why it should function any better in the arena of international relations. Unlike Neville Chamberlain, who apparently thought appeasement was the perfect way to defuse the belligerence of Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini. After all, a few countries would be a cheap price to pay for averting war (or for destroying Birdman?), right? Of course, this begs the question of where Chamberlain got the authority to hack off whole sections of Czechoslovakia and hand them over to Germany without even consulting the Czech government. I'm pretty sure this wasn't appeasing them. To use a ridiculous metaphor, it's like Chamberlain was a cashier at McDonalds and Hitler stepped up to order all, "I want half of Europe, and a small Pepsi!" (well, he is evil, after all), and Chamberlain was like, "Ok, you want Poland with that?" This might seem like an outrageous allegory of events, but you can't deny that going through Chamberlain was by far the cheapest and fastest way of invading another nation. He was the McDonalds of warfare!
You see all sorts of lists, monuments and awards commemorating all the greatest world leaders. On the other hand, I've never seen anything detailing a hierarchy of the world's worst heads of state. To be clear, I'm not using worst in the morally reprehensible sense, but rather in the bumbling and incompetent sense. These are the sorts of leaders who, while perhaps not so funny during their tenure, can often be looked upon in retrospect with great amusement. Were such a list to be compiled, I'm quite sure that Neville Chamberlain would have a spot reserved towards the top. Although I doubt that the Polish people would find the way he kept trying to give away their country to be particularly funny. Still, Chamberlain would almost certainly be outranked by Benito Mussolini. This is the guy who equipped his army with cardboard boots during a war, and then tried and failed repeatedly to flee his own country. In fact, Mussolini's display of ineptitude could almost even be considered extreme. He will always be the perfect example to remind us that even dictators can sometimes bring the funny.
As much fun as it might be to laugh at Mussolini, I think I would still rather meet Chamberlain in person, if given the choice (admittedly not likely at this point). In fact, I think I'd pick a meeting with Chamberlain over almost any other world leader ever. Just think about it. All you'd have to do is start bullying him and he'd offer you his wallet. Or, more likely, someone else's wallet, all the while claiming to be doing this for the good of the world at large. If you're lucky, he might even throw in Poland.
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