The Wild Thing!

In the right hands, almost any object can be viewed as a toy - even boxes. At the same time, I have to think that treating a chainsaw in this manner might not be the most responsible choice. These tools are dangerous, and not really meant to be seen as an engrossing leisure activity. Despite this, the advertisements and packaging for the Wild Thing seem to be intended to leave just such an impression. First of all, you don't call something The Wild Thing unless you wish to create a certain perception. And that perception is only enhanced when you color the packaging with bright green and purple, more reminiscent of the Constructicons than anything else. As cool as a chainsaw might be, I don't really think you want to pass it off as the newest Transformer.
I will concede that chainsaws probably aren't quite the amazing weapons that horror movies make them out to be. In fact, I'd say that the horror genre has done its best to instill an aura of awe and fear around the chainsaw, one that probably isn't appreciated by your average lumberjack. Aside from the derivative nature of the genre itself, is there any reason why they can't branch out into more different weapons? Aside from like saws? I think power tools have been overused. I think Jason would be every bit as scary if he were wielding a lead pipe, or even a wrench. Hey, it worked for Colonel Mustard! And then maybe we'd be more worried about crazed plumbers than deranged lumberjacks. All the same, I can't imagine a wrench ever being marketed as The Wild Thing. I just don't think it would fly.
Tangents aside, chainsaws are dangerous, much like other topics I've covered recently. I don't think they should be treated lightly, especially given the often maligned perceptual powers of the public. There are certainly some jobs that require them, but I don't think you should be buying them just so you can embellish your wild reputation - except perhaps in the wild spending sense.
Return to Legends Of the Blade
Return to Jaridis Blade's Gallery of Quotes