"Don't worry. Cattle rancher. From Nicaragua. Just checking out the land."
After explaining himself, the proported cattle rancher from Nicaragua soon disappeared, leaving my friend slightly baffled by his appearance. Of course, this incident didn't worry anybody, because after all, he was a cattle rancher checkin' out the land. Happens all the time. Actually, it doesn't. And that's mainly what makes this quote funny. Assuring people not to worry because you are a cattle rancher from Nicaragua is not generally the greatest excuse in the world. The only problem is that it sounds almost too ridiculous to be made up. If you were trying to come up with a plausible excuse to use, you could come up with a much better one than the aforementioned cattle rancher. In any case, since this story was told, this has become known as a great excuse. Whenever you're doing something highly suspicious, just tell everyone not to worry because you're a cattle rancher, and you'll be just fine. It's even more reassuring if you actually come from Nicaragua. Don't ask me why. And if this strategy doesn't work for you, don't worry. You can always claim you're just checking out the land.
This quote is based on a true story, and like all things based on true accounts, it is likely highly exagerated. However, exagerated or not, it is still an extremely amusing story. As such, I will recount the tale, so far as I know it, below. This comes to me from a friend of mine who has a cabin out by a lake. He was out at his cabin, sitting on the deck, when he suddenly noticed a strange guy walk up onto his deck. As you likely know, it is a bit unusual for complete strangers to be walking around on your deck, and as such, my friend was a bit concerned. However, the unidentified man quickly put all his fears to rest with the following few lines:
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