All those observations above come from having seen a commercial for this program. I've only actually seen the show once, and that only for a couple minutes. However, from what I saw, I can easily determine the cause for the Peasant's deadness: He loves cooking with booze! According to him, even the simplest dish requires some form of alcohol. The Peasant is a fair man, and thus always divides the wine equally between himself and the dish. There is some speculation that the Urban Peasant himself might actually already be dead. But how could this be possible, since his show is still being made? It's really quite simple. The show is admittedly sponsored by French's mustard, who have created an exact robot copy of the Urban Peasant, to film the show and promote their mustard. In fact, French's probably plans to replace every famous chef with a robot imposter who will rocket their mustard to world domination! Of course, in some cases, these robots would be an improvement over the original. However, if an Iron Chef ever opens up an interview with the words, "I like mustard!", we'll know the world is in great peril.
I've made referance to this quote numerous times throughout this webpage, mainly on other quote stories. But this time, I've decided to use it as the actual quote of the week, since it is really good enough to be a feature presentation. This quote is spoken by the Urban Peasant, of Food Network fame. Alright, maybe fame is a too strong word to describe the Peasant's reputation. In any case, this statement about carrots not getting much action is neither substantiated nor well-founded. The Urban Peasant acts as if it's a well-known fact that these vegetables don't get much 'action'. Of course, no one's quite sure what he means by 'action', but I know that many people do actually eat carrots. It's not like some rare delicacy that only the rich can afford. Just think, where would Snowmen be today if Carrots truly didn't get much action? They would have no noses! (Much like Dragon Ball and FFT characters...) Of course, you can hardly blame the Peasant for his statement, since he's quite dead at the time. That's right; if you listen closely (or not so much so, really), you can discern that the Urban Peasant truly sounds DEAD when he exclaims, "Today, we're...gonna...do...(gasp)...n-n-noodles..." It sounds like each word is a struggle to survive, which it likely is.
Note that this conspiracy theory is not at all based in reality. The Urban Peasant might even still be alive, amazing as it may seem.
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