For those who haven't yet figured it out, this quote comes from Undercover Brother, one of the best Bond knockoffs around. You might not think so just from seeing the previews, but this movie is just as solid as Undercover Brother himself. And he's so solid that he can spin complete 360s in his cadillac without spilling a drop of his orange soda. I can only wish that I had these abilities. It would save me from the initiation process I often go through with important character sheets, which involves spilling Coke on them as soon as possible. Often before the action has even begun. Anyway, if Undercover Brother's orange soda skills don't interest you, perhaps you should consider his amazing Bruce Lee martial-arts, his massive afro or his incredible and aptly named elevator shoes. Put all that together and you've got one bad brother, capable of even saving the President. Or a Presidential candidate, as the case may be.
All that said, I should warn you that the section below will contain minor spoilers for the film. Not that they will at all ruin your enjoyment of the movie, but I still recommend you go see it right away. It features an explosive and deep plot, unearthing all sorts of racial stereotypes and poking fun at them. Most of which I didn't even know existed. But that's probably because I've been brainwashed by The Man, the mysterious villain who is attempting to set racial relations back fifty years. I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to stick it to the Man, and this film provides a release for all that anger. Especially given that the movie implies The Man is behind the fame of Steve Urkel, which is definitely something that deserves punishment. In any case, The Man intends to keep the name of the White House intact. In order to avoid having to call it the Super House, he plots a nefarious scheme for dealing with presidential candidate General Billy Dee Williams (which isn't the character's name, but he is a General, which is the only thing that matters here). To this end, he uses some sort of mind control drug to convince the General to open a chain of fried chicken restaurants rather than running for President. When asked whether this surprising move will disappoint his supporters, the General replies that it won't after they try his ftied chicken. Little does the public realise that this chicken actually contains twelve secret herbs and spices, and the last of these is a powerful mind control drug to surpress black culture.
As tends to be the case in these sorts of movies, there's only one thing standing in the way of The Man's evil schemes. That would be the BROTHERhood, a colored equivalent of the FBI, with such illustrious members as the Chief, Smart Brother, Conspiracy Brother, Sistah Girl, and eventually Undercover Brother. They also have a white intern hired through affirmative action. With the use of Smart Brother's amazing gadgets, such as a hot sauce dispenser, Undercover Brother is forced to go up against some of The Man's best agents and mayonais, which is apparently just as dangerous. Although their goals are noble, I'm not sure that shutting down the General's Fried Chicken was a good idea. After all, you saw what KFC did for the Colonel; his face was suddenly everywhere! Now that's more global influence than even a President could muster! And GFC outranks even the Colonel. With a slick advertising campaign ("I want you!...to try my fried chicken!"), I have no doubt that GFC could become a well recognised international chain. And frankly, I'd be willing to ignore any amount of mind control substance if they served Popcorn Chicken.
Return to Jaridis Blade's Gallery of Quotes