-A firendly beach town is shocked by several deadly shark attacks.
-A panicked town council doesn't know what to do. So they do nothing, because they don't want to endanger their tourism by actually doing anything about the threat. Of course, most people would realise that having constant shark attacks would already be a threat to tourism. Much more so, really, than getting someone competent to take the shark out and thus rid them of their problems. I guess this would only be a temporary solution, since a giant shark would be back in the next sequel to haunt the town anyway.
-That aside, an 'expert' shark hunter and a team of misfits go after the shark in a boat that will surely turn out to be much too small.
-The shark is really BIG! Way bigger than they were expecting. You'd think they'd eventually adjust their expectations, but then it wouldn't be a Jaws movie. They need a bigger boat, but they decide not to get one.
-After various buildup scenes, the shark is eventually blown up, usually by ramming it with the ship (which is often loaded with dynamite, surprisingly enough). Of course, this can happen only after the shark's had an opportunity to eat at least one of the team.
This concludes the course I like to call Jaws 101. You're now eminently qualified to produce your own Jaws movie. You might not be able to afford any real special effects, but then, neither could the old Jaws videogame. Not to say that it was exactly a stirring success. Quite the opposite, really. There's a very good reason I haven't seen the Rainbow insignia on any other game boxes. The box also claims that Jaws was an Enteractive Videogame. I'm not quite sure what that means. It's possible that Nintendo's translators were just really bad, but it's also conceivable that Enteractive is a codeword used to refer to crappy games. If that's the case, I'm surprised there was no such label on Dirty Harry. Still, despite what the box claims, there is one escape from this game, and it involves saving your money. And who should be happier about that? You for avoiding a horrible game, or ING Direct for getting their tagline into one of my quotes?
In essence, this quote has become the classic one used whenever anything is clearly overmatched. I had it as the startup sound for my old computer for a while, and I thought it was very appropriate. When edited, that is. If you replace the 'boat' with 'computer', you have a fairly accurate analysis of my computer when compared with the requirements needed to run most programs. Of course, the quality of a computer isn't really determined by its size. But it should be, in my opinion. As you can guess, I'm not a fan of those little laptops and their kin. Even Steve Irwin wouldn't be overly impressed with them. In this era of excess, I think it's only appropriate that we should supersize our computers, instead of merely minimizing them.
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