As well as being a pun, this quote actually applies to current events. Current mainstream events. I'll be the first to admit that most of my site doesn't fit into this catergory at all, but I felt that this quote and its inspiration deserved my attention, if only to explain the plight of Canada's beef industry and the steps being taken to save it. Just in case you've been totally cut off from the media, or live very far away, I should tell you that Canada's beef industry has been in a crisis over a single case of Mad Cow Disease. Indeed, it's so rare for a cow to be mad that a single case makes headlines several days running! Truly, they tend to be rather sane creatures. Regardless of that, this has really created a beef for the beef industry. That case was the only encouragement needed for several countries to ban the import of Canadian beef, including the United States, to whom most of that beef was formerly sent. Now, the industry claims to be losing millions of dollars a day, simply because they have no market in which to sell their beef. All due to a single angry cow. It just goes to show that you need to go out of your way to pacify these animals. I suggest the construction of bovine asylums. These institutions could give these cows the psychological treatment they need. I bet this all stemmed from a problem in their childhood.
You may think that my suggested cure for this crisis is a joke. And it is. But it's really not much more ridiculous than the response of the local governments to the crisis. Note, however, that being ridiculous in no way prevents this response from being awesome. Obviously, it would be up to the government to discover the source of this disease within the country, and to restore the confidence of consumers worldwide in Canadian beef. Such a result would be difficult to achieve, and would require ingenius innovation, pure courage and great audacity. Fortunately, Prime Minister Jean Chretien was up to the task. His ministers were ready to react mere hours after the crisis broke. In a fortunate turn of events, this coincided perfectly with their lunch break. Thus, they were able to take the bold step of ordering and devouring delicious steak, simply to show that there was no danger to the common people. This could only be called a stunning display of leadership! Not one of these ministers was afraid to confront the tough task of eating a juicy steak for lunch. And for that matter, I'm not either. Yet somehow, the media doesn't seem to find my steak dinners nearly so newsworthy.
Seriously, this was all over the news for several days. The reporters would breathlessly inform the public that yet another cabinet minister had dined on steak. They would then show clips of this minister enjoying their meal, while countless reporters looked on. All levels of government showed a startling level of unity and coordination in managing this response. Some people were certainly affected by this publicity. After such a big deal was made over the consumption of steak, they couldn't wait to eat some themselves. Following the Prime Minister's lead, I decided that I too would stand up to the evil of mad cow disease by eating some steak. This, I figured, would be the perfect way to demonstrate my interminable courage and earn some attention from the media at the same time. Sadly, my valiant contribution was all but ignored by the local press. Alright, it was completely ignored. Fortunately, I don't need the encouragement of the media to dine on a delicious steak. And contrary to what many believe, the only thing required to do so is not courage, but instead Steaksauce. Preferably A1.
Okay, I'll admit it. I like puns. Of all sorts, really. Especially the good ones. Though admittedly, some people claim that a good pun is a contradiction. These people probably shouldn't be involved in any of my roleplaying campaigns. I've even considered putting up some sort of disclaimer that would warn everyone about the high prevalance of puns featured in my games. After all, they have warnings about such evil things as adult content (this should include going to work and paying taxes; now that's scary!), so I figure that warnings about pun content would be entirely appropriate. But before I'm tempted to spout out many more puns (most of dubious quality), I'd better get down to explaining the quote itself.
Return to Jaridis Blade's Gallery of Quotes