Defenders of Aquaman (such people do exist, amazingly enough) have been known to respond to the preceeding arguments by pointing out that all superheroes have weaknesses, and that it makes them more real. However, Aquaman already has a weakness, in addition to his lack of a real superpower, and it's a big one. He doesn't just like water; he needs it. To stay moist, or something. Anyway, the point is that Aquaman's weakness is land, which is a hell of a lot more common than kryptonite. This really narrows the scope of Aquaman's heroics. He can't help you if your problem isn't in the water. So unless you own a swimming pool, Aquaman probably isn't the right man for the job. Heck, even if you do, he probably can't even get to your swimming pool, because guess what? It's landlocked! And that's pretty much all it takes to stop Aquaman. I hear he's also weak against bait.
Now that we know his limitations, let's consider exactly what kinds of problems Aquaman can be called upon to solve. The answer I'm most often given involves oil spills, which are indeed important. But I don't really see how Aquaman is equipped to deal with such disasters. I guess he could warn all the fish to stay away, or something. Regardless, this has caused some people to liken him to an environmentalist, which is fine. I still don't see why he's really any better than a regular environmentalist who can swim. At least they can come ashore if they want. In any case, this comparison doesn't really make Aquaman seem like much of a superhero. He's still about the same caliber as the U of S superhero club. Tuition Man could totally school this guy, and that's even counting the fact that he's been frozen this year. I'd hate to see what would happen to Aquaman if he ever faced a temperature below zero.
Aquaman has several other problems, ranging from his terrible costume to his racist remarks. The latter of these is vouched for by none other than the unjustly named Black Vulcan, who has speculated that maybe Aquaman should just go under the alias of White Fish. All in all, this is one washed-up superhero who almost deserves to go up the river himself. About the only thing he's good at is providing ideas for puns and quotes. In that regard at least, he's served his purpose.
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