Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

That depends on whether you watch this show. Because if you do, then I'm afraid the answer to the title question might not be one you'll want to hear. If you don't, then a bit of explanation might be in order. For years, gameshows were a dying breed, kept afloat only by their low production costs and their tendency to be parodied by Sean Connery impersonators. Yet recently, they've seen a surge of popularity, and have become a ubiquitous part of the television landscape, in the same way that Tim Horton's is now a part of the literal landscape. And amidst this swarm of shows, we have one that asks its contestants to answer trivia from the grade five curriculum, all in the hopes that they will get the questions wrong, and thus be subjected to abject humiliation. Amusing!
I believe shows like Are you smarter than a fifth grader? have tapped into one of the primary appeals of Jeopardy and other such trivia shows. The producers noticed that many of the people who watch these shows do so for the express purpose of stroking their own egos by seeing the contestants flub questions that the viewer totally gets. Of course, it's easy to armchair-quaterback these questions from the comfort of your own home, especially when no one is keeping track of the ones you've gotten wrong. Fifth-grader and its ilk are an even more blatant attempt to capitalise on this property. They invite the audience to laugh along as they send contestants head-to-head with children. Nevermind that the questions are no real indication of knowledge or intelligence, and are instead obscure portions of the curriculum that you probably haven't heard since the fifth grade. One example I saw asked the contestant to regurgitate the current geological era. Sure, Who Wants to be a Millionaire? had questions related to Don Limpio!, but at least they didn't have a child who had just studied the answer standing by to upstage you.
Some might say that we've hit the bottom of the barrel with this show, but I'm fairly certain that our standards can still sink lower. I expect we'll be seeing more trivia shows intended only to embarass their players by pitting them against mobs, barnyard animals or even household appliances. One such will probably be called: Are you brighter than a light bulb?. Hey, it can't be less strategic or silly than Deal or No Deal.
The concept for crazy gameshows isn't a purely North American construct. In fact, many of the more bizarre ideas are imported from overseas - mostly from Japan, the capital of crazy gameshow concepts. They turned competitive cooking into a spectator sport, and they first introduced the idea of actresses taking elementary school tests on camera. And yet, like a bad video game translation from the late '90s, the American versions of these shows are missing something vital. It's like they did a literal translation, but in the process left out all the spoony nuances, such as the silk pyjamas worn by the Iron Chefs. And Fifth Grader survives the transition no better, aside from not featuring Bobby Flay in any way.
In the end, I can only conclude that Fifth Grader is lame. And that's my final answer.
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