Culture Shock!

Anthropology, in the majority of its incarnations, is basically the study of culture. This might almost seem interesting, until you start reading the very boring Anthropology textbook. The authors of this textbook would probably take cover behind overused cliches in claiming that it's unfair to judge their work by its cover. And its first few hundred pages. In fact, you have to skip right to the end before it starts to get a little bit interesting. That's because the book claims that anthropology is out there, right at this moment, saving the world. And textbooks never lie! Except, of course, when they promise to give you good value for your money. But that's a different story. In any case, you might have been under the impression that other groups were working to save the world from ruin. Like, maybe the Justice League. Or environmentalists. Wrong, apparently. If this textbook can be believed, the last hope for the planet Earth and the only thing we can turn to for salvation is the field of Anthropology.
Given this, I think it's about time that the Justice League brought an Anthropologist on board. Not only would this help them recognise and appreciate the backgrounds of their culturally diverse members, such as Apache Chief and Black Vulcan, but it would also allow the 'science' of Anthropology to be brought to bear against all those who would threaten the planet. Best of all, given his training, the Anthropologist would have no trouble assimiliating himself into the superhero culture of the League. He would quickly develop his own dorky costume, which would probably include the mask shown above, in addition to the typical skin-tight jumpsuit. His main combat skill would be the Culture Shock!, which would leave his foe disoriented and confused. The Anthropologist would also be able to induce extreme lethargy among his foes by reading sections of the textbook he'd written. Yes, this guy would struggle tirelessly against the evil forces of ethnocentrism, and would take a holistic approach in dealing with all his foes. In fact, I suspect his main opponent would be The Ethnocentrist, a super villain who spends all his time driving around in a big bulldozer, destroying indigenous lands. He would also, as you would expect, be a big jerk.
If you haven't guessed by now, I've spent the past few days studying for my Anthropology final. Unfortunately, this involved reading the textbook, which has made me quite bitter indeed. Despite the book's best attempts, I haven't yet been hypnotized into believing that Anthropology is the solution to all the world's problems. In fact, the solution to most of my problems would involve never opening this textbook again. You've gotta know that they're desperate for converts when they devote the whole first chapter to explaining why the field in question is important. In this case, that means proclaiming Anthropology to be the one true science, while simultaneously bashing all the other real sciences. Allegedly because Anthropologists are the only 'scientists' that aren't blinded by their own culture. Instead, they seem to be blinded by their egos. Which, admittedly, is not a condition that I'm particularly qualified to diagnose.
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