Dirk The Dukes of Hazard Craig T. Nelson The Transporter Peach Yoshi Boshi Captain Falcon Racer-X Speed Racer Diablo Bahljas The Postman Virgil / The Man in the Black Trenchcoat
Samo Hung Jordi LaForge Luca Elizabeth Bathory Alejandro Harle Gulstamp Muradin Bronzebeard The Percolator Placido Domingo Space Ghost Guredan Ricky The Vagabond Crazy Kiley Quincy
Race: Electran
Occupation: Bodyguard
Like most wealthy old people, Mr. Cadbury needed a bodyguard. And like most bodyguards, Dirk seemed highly paranoid and yet somehow totally ineffective. Dirk was a big, broadshouldered man with short, blond hair and a professional suit. He also wore sunglasses and one of those cord communicators on one of his ears. As a bodyguard, he considered it his duty to keep everyone nearby from harm, and continually noted that he had developed immunities to many poisons for just such a task. He also cooked all the food served on The Milk Chocolate, though he still often speculated that it could be poisoned. His other manner of 'protecting' seemed to involve tackling people to the ground at various moments.
Race: Fenixan
Occupation: Good Ol' Boys and Pilots
There were actually two Duke boys, but they still only get one character description. Deal with it. That's because there really wasn't much to distinguish the two Duke boys. Their descriptions both included western shirts, jeans and cowboy hats. Their attitudes were also very similar, with a great deal of western slang and talk about how they were gonna get out of this one and escape from some guy named Boss Hogg. They also didn't appear to have names, and could only be refered to collectively as the Duke Boys. Distinguishing them individually seemed to involve calling one the Good Duke Boy, and the other the Bad Duke Boy. This denotation was a reference to their flight skills. Although one Duke Boy was noticeably more dextrous than the other, they would still randomly pick the driver of their ship, The General Lee. This red Falcon seemed designed mostly for jumps, shart turns and style. The Dukes of Hazard would clearly need all three of these things to win the Kessel Run, especially considering the nagging questions (posed by themselves) about how they would get out of this one.
Race: Deksiilan
Occupation: NASCAR Driver
This man is almost too horrifying for a description. Craig T. Nelson was known throughtout the galaxy as a skilled NASCAR pilot. As such, most people thought that he would have no trouble competing and winning at the Kessel Run. He could be described as a tall man, with combed back blond hair and a yellow jumpsuit. He could also be described as an overly arrogant jerk. When Craig T. Nelson wasn't busy blustering about how he intended to get down to business, he was often instead blowing on a whistle that hung around his neck. This was really just as bad. Worse yet, using this whistle would likely remind everyone present about Craig's appearances and starring role in the old sitcom called Coach. Because of his NASCAR reputation and arrogant bravado, Craig T. Nelson was permitted to skip the typical time trial that was used to weed unworthy pilots from the Kessel Run. Despite this, all would soon find that his piloting skills couldn't live up to his gung-ho blustering.
Race: Electran
Occupation: Professional Transporter
The Transporter was a hard-faced Electran, clad in a black suit. His head was shaved and his body was in good physical condition. As his name would imply, the Transporter made his living by transporting cargo from one place to another. One of his contacts was The Broker, who instructed him to bring a dozen Falcon-X missiles to the Grand Prix station, where they would be picked up by an Epsilon envoy. The legality of these missiles remained an open question, and one on which The Transporter refused to comment. According to his own rules, you should never open the package that you're delivering. It was heavily implied that failure to follow this rule had resulted in some martial-arts fight scenes in the past, possibly with never before seen footage.
Race: Electran
Occupation: Princess
Hopefully, Peach shouldn't require much description. She was a very haughty woman with blondish hair, a pink dress, white gloves and a gold tiara. She was likely to respond to any given situation in one of three ways. The first would involve declaring it 'Peachy'. The second would include an offer to bake a cake. Peach's third, and arguably most effective, response would be to shower everyone present with money. Although honest officials might frown on such open acts of bribery, those sorts of people wouldn't really be running the Kessel Run anyway. It was widely speculated that Peach made up for her lack of piloting skills with a great deal of money. After all, they don't call her ship the Moneytrain for nothing.
Race: Chalchakian
Occupation: Pilot
The Chalchakian pilot known as Yoshi was favored by many to win the Kessel Run. His most notable aspects are certainly his incredible acceleration and his single-word vocabulary. Although Yoshi didn't actually look like a dinosaur, he did wear a green pilot's uniform with an egg emblem on his chest. His shoes were red, and his flight helmet was green. When not busy saying 'WEEPBONG!' or winning races, Yoshi could often be found eating. He seemed to have a tremendous appetite for all sorts of foods. Although very good-natured, Yoshi was almost always thrust into an insane rivalry with Boshi, a very evil and bizarro pilot.
Race: Chalchakian
Occupation: Pilot and Yoshi's rival
The evil rival of Yoshi, who was determined to win the Kessel Run at any cost. In truth, Boshi very much resembles Yoshi, with only a few differences. But they're big ones. His appearance is mostly the same, with blue colors instead of green and a pair of sunglasses that Boshi always wears, even when in space. Because he's bad. Boshi also has good acceleration, in addition to a vocabulary far larger than his green counterpart. However, his trademark line of 'FWIPOW!' isn't nearly as catch, and is almost painful enough to be used as a weapon. Boshi was willing to stoop as low as necessary to beat Yoshi, including cheating, which he would constantly mention in a not so subtle fashion before concluding with a sinister FWIPOW.
Race: Deksiilan
Occupation: Pilot
An arrogant pilot who also seemed to be an incredible fighter. Captain Falcon wore a skin-tight blue spandex suit, a red helmet that shadowed his eyes, and red shoulder plate that seemed purely there for decoration. He was fast both in his Falcon-X and on his feet, and could marshall the incredible destructive powers of the Falcon Punch and the Falcon Kick, though the former was extremely slow and inaccurate. Captain Falcon was also one of the more famous pilots in the galactic racing circuit, and seemed constantly ready to take on any challenger. In fact, he would often invite them to show him their moves.
Race: Unknown
Occupation: Mysterious Pilot
Racer-X was a very mysterious pilot. Since he was such an enigma, there's really not much I can say about him. He wore a white spandex costume, with a black mask over his face and a swirling red cape that would often flare up dramatically in accordance with some invisible wind. The main decoration on his uniform was a big 'X' across his chest. Racer-X's motivations for participating in the Kessel Run remain a mystery, much like his purpose in the campaign.
Race: Arsan
Occupation: Pilot and TV Show star?
Speed Racer was clearly a filler pilot. He was a little kid who wore a sparkly white pilot's uniform and helmet, and sported both a high-pitched voice and a terrible themesong. Despite his young age, he had already developed an ego that almost stood up to pilots twice his age. Unfortunately, this ego didn't seem to translate into racing skill. Still, Speed Racer's Speed Mobile was a fast ship, if flown by someone other than its owner.
Race: Loracian
Occupation: Necromancer and Dungeon Master
By his own admission, Diablo was a terrifying figure, able to strike fear into the hearts of all around him. As befit his occupation and title (that of El Diablo), he wore swirling red robes, flared gloves and a red mask carved into a demonic face, complete with curling horns. He also carried two significant items, including a large battle-scythe and a complete set of rules for the new edition of Dungeons & Dragons. In fact, Diablo considered D&D to be his game. He liked it to play it with young children, since they were easily attracted by the occult. Using Dungeons & Dragons, he could make them feel 'special', and draw them deeper into the dark world of El Diablo! As one of the leaders of the only Necromancer's Guild, which is apparently quite insane, Diablo seems to be an influential figure in both the 'satanic' world of D&D, and the galaxy of Spherus itself.
Race: Electran
Occupation: Electran Sergeant
By all appearances, Bahljas was almost the perfect Electran soldier. He certainly looked the part, dressed in a long blue soldier's coat and uniform, festooned with several medals. He also wore polished boots and white gloves, and had a heavy gunbelt around his waist. In addition, Bahljas seemed to have unwavering loyalty to the Electran Empire, and was willing to do any sort of duty required by it. In this case, that meant coming to Epsilon aboard an armored military transport. His exact purpose on the station remains unknown, but it is quite clear that he will be working in conjunction with Fayde. Some, such as Mr. Rhyze, have suggested that Bahljas' arrival on the station is the prelude to an attempt by the Electrans to take over this station, now that they have lost their own. Needless to say, Bahljas would take offense to any such view that would slight Imperial Electra.
Race: Chalchakian
Occupation: Postman
This is one of those characters that could practically be described only by his name. And as it would imply, he was a Postman. Like most of his kind, he was extremely disgruntled. But unlike some of his colleagues, he had a way of venting it: a blazing autoblaster. Aside from that, his appearance fit right in with the stereotype. The Postman wore a blue postman's uniform and hat, and carried his mailbag and the aforementioned autoblaster at all times. He had officially come to Epsilon to make some deliveries, but like usual, ended up causing vast destruction due to his disgruntled nature. The exact reason for his discontent remains somewhat unclear. He made allusion to the way the mail never seemed to stop, continually piling up despite all attempts to deliver it. That might be the case, but it could also be that his low intelligence contributes greatly to the check necessary to become disgruntled. As a member of the Postal Service, Il Postino was also a rival of such groups as the Coffee Barons, including Senor Nabob, who felt that he had come to the station to start up some sort of gang war. This accusation, of course, could only make Il Postino more disgruntled.
Race: Deksiilan
Occupation: Still not known - ? Travelling Ice-Cream Salesman, perhaps?
Virgil was introduced fairly early in the campaign, but only identified when he finally made his strike on space station Epsilon. Most often described simply as the man in the black trenchcoat, Virgil's other physical characteristics included short blond hair, a dark suit and gloves. His motivations for coming to the station remain unclear, but Vandred's description of him as a cold-blooded killer certainly seemed to fit. Though he had apparently engineered to save the officers of Epsilon on several occaisons, Virgil still had no qualms about attempting to kill them when he considered it necessary. His martial arts skills and psi certainly seemed to be up to the task, and he also had the ability to call forth the powerful force wave to hit a group of opponents. Much mystery still remains surrounding Virgil and his treacherous team.
Race: Warchon
Occupation: Potential Janitor and Knife Salesman
Samo Hung was the first Warchon in the campaign, and didn't really fit into the stereotype of his warlike race. Though he possessed the dark skin and hair customary of Warchons, his clothing was nothing like their typical skin-tight armor. Possibly because Samo would have had great difficulty fitting into anything tight. He was more than a bit pudgy, and dressed all in black. He also somehow managed to speak with horrible dubbing at all times. Samo was one of the potential janitors Starfleet had sent to the station for the commander's consideration. While he didn't seem to know much about cleaning, he did have a good instinct for searching and looting, especially where knives were concerned. And when not otherwise occupied, he would attempt to sell these knives to anyone nearby. This gesture has apparently often been misinterpreted in the past, causing Samo to demonstrate his proclaimed knowledge of Kung-Fu. Samo Hung also admitted to having been in prison at one point or another, and to going by many stupid and ridiculous nicknames.
Race: Loracian
Occupation: Prospective Engineer, and Picard's Top Pick
Jordi LaForge was one of three prospective engineers who came to the station looking for the job. He was obviously favored by Picard, and it wasn't hard to see why. Though it was hard for LaForge to see at all. For one thing, he was always professionally dressed in a Next Generation yellow Starfleet uniform that was consequently much different from anything Picard would wear. His other distinguishing characteristics included his dark skin and hair and the visor that he wore over his eyes. Jordi would often urge people not to look down upon him just because he was blind. After all, his specially designed visor made his vision almost perfect. Unforunately, it would constantly fall off at the most inopportune times, rendering LaForge quite helpless. Still, he had worked as an engineer within Starfleet for quite a number of years, and had even served previously under Jean-Luc Picard. And unlike certain other famous engineers, he wouldn't claim that a ship had no power, even when it did. Unless his visor had fallen off, in which case he wouldn't have any idea.
Race: Tortalian
Occupation: Prospective Engineer
Though young, Luca was known throughout the galaxy as a brillant scientist, and a key researcher in the field of time travel. She also on the forefront in the area of robotics. Her clothing was yllow, and included some sort of weird helmet that mostly covered her purple hair. She also wore thick glasses, and carried a powerful lazer gun with her wherever she went. Luca's educational background included graduating with distinction from the U of T, and several scholarships that had allowed her to accomplish that. Though she was big into research, she hadn't had much practical experience. As such, she considered the job opening on Epsilon to be the perfect chance to put her considerable skills into practice. She was also eager to work with Winfried Grassman, a reknowned expert in the area of time machines.
Race: Spheran
Occupation: Potential Janitor and Vampire?!
Elizabeth Bathory was yet another candidate to become the new janitor of space station Epsilon. She claimed to have filled this position at several high schools, though most suspected that she was instead a Vampire who bathed in blood to keep her figure. She certainly did have a good figure. Elizabeth Bathory was extremely pale, with long dark hair, a black leather dress and a red cape. Her dramatic outfit was topped off by a red scarf wrapped around her neck, which led to some fairly blunt insinuations about what kind of marks might be found underneath. However, she definitely did not have the fangs that would immediately identify her as a vampire. She was certainly eager to get the job, and also demonstrated some knowledge of the occult, though some such as Jazz would argue that you certainly couldn't hold that against her.
Race: Mehican
Occupation: Janitor
Alejandro was the first of the prospective janitors who actually looked the part. He was a greasy man, clad in a pair of blue coveralls that had an erroneous name tag on them. Due to his name and hispanic origins, there were some suspicions that Alejandro might actually be Zorro. He did seem quite handy with his mop, but was more interested in drinking Tequila than fighting injustice. Not only that, he was also a great believer in the Codex of Frank, considered by some to be the bible of janitors everywhere. It dictated that janitors should not actually do any cleaning, but should instead spend their funds creating a large animal conservatory which only they are allowed to visit. Alejandro was all about these policies. And tequila, of course.
Race: Fenixan
Occupation: French Jester
Harle had quite a distinctive appearance, including her red and yellow jester's outfit, the white paint on her face and a black mask she wore that could hardly be called a mask at all. Of course, as far as Jazz was concerned, Harle's most important physical characteristics were the fact that she was both young and female. Such things would even make up for the fact that the bells on her suit jingled in a fashion not at all similar to Jazz's favored musical styles. And for her horrible french accent, which simply including saying 'ze' and 'moi' as many times as possible. It wasn't initially known what Harle was doing on the station, though some immediately suspected she was up to no good. And that she would do cart-wheels and disappear at any moment. In all fairness, Harle did seem to show some gymnastic ability, and a talent for disappearing at will. Something that could deter, but not stop the man known as Jazz.
Race: Tortalian
Occupation: Sorceror of Light and Vampire Hunter
Gulstamp's coincidental arrival on the station at the same time as Harle led many to believe that the two had come together, though this proved not to be the case. Mainly due to this alleged connection, and the dead raccoon hat that Gulstamp always wore on his head, several people also accused him of being a semi-human named Lynx. Gulstamp denied any such charges, though he did refuse to give his name until midway through the adventure. Aside from the rather odd raccoon hat that he always wore, Gulstamp looked like the traditional wizard that he was, with blue robes and a rather thin physique. However, he was quick to point out to anyone nearby that his 'magic' was enough to fight off the forces of evil. And along with the many tried and true methods for dealing with vampires, he considered himself more than a match for the Lord of the Undead. Thus, he had come to the station hunting Dracula, who was rumoured to have been spotted there. His other most noticeable feature was his ever-shifting accent, which would switch from thick scottish to complete nondescript at seemingly random intervals.
Race: Arsan
Occupation: Grumpy Dwarf
The name and occupation alone are almost enough to describe this character. But just to make you almost half as grumpy as Muradin, I'll describe him anyway. Though Dwarves don't officially exist as a race in Spherus, Muradin Bronzebeard still looked the part. He was short, muscular, and bearded. As his last name would suggest, Muradin's beard and hair were the color of bronze, while his large hammer was the color of admorite. Because that's what it was made from. Most likely due to his appearance, Murradin had learned to tolerate the nickname of 'Stubby' that was often attributed to him. Despite this, many characters still managed to offen him by continually referring to him as 'stumpy' instead. When not grumbling about something (often the general sissiness of elves) in his thick scottish accent, Muradin would sometimes admit that he was looking for an object called the Sunstone. Such crystals could be used as great power sources, and the dwarf was confident that he could build some amazing ships using the stone. His search led him to Epsilon. Such a long trip into Deep Space could only make the dwarf grumpier, which in turn would unlock his special power, Avatar. This allowed Muradin to grow into a giant dwarf, whose discontent increased in direct proportion to his size.
Race: Chalchakian
Occupation: Enforcer
The Percolator was somewhat like the equivalent of The Terminator in the corrupt world of Coffee. He would often work for any one of the barons with sufficient money (and coffee beans) and enforce their will on unfortunate victims. The Percolator could best be described as a very large, swarthy man with dark hair and a mustache. He wore a brown trenchcoat and brass knucles, which surely helped him to percolate anyone who dared cross his coffee-producing masters. In this case, he was brought to space station Epsilon to take Morton down, and presumably stuff him into a barrel which would then be jettisoned from the airlock. The Percolator's combat skills were surely an essential part of this plan, and they included some mean street brawl and a special move known as the Strong Brew, which seemed to heal his wounds with coffee-flavored energy. And yes, you could sense the flavor of this energy.
Race: Fenixan
Occupation: Untrustworthy Miner's Assistant
Placido Domingo wasn't the first character to be described in his occupation summary as untrustworthy. But he certainly merited the adjective. Domingo could otherwise be described as a swarthy, mustached man with a big belly, a straw hat and a pair of tight overalls. There were some allegations that he had once been some sort of famous opera singer, but given his current state, this seemed most unlikely. Aside from being untrustworthy, his other main point seemed to involve doing as little work as possible and warning everyone that almost anything was too dangerous to be attempted, and that they would be much better off just going home. It was unknown at first why he didn't simply follow his own advice, but instead he claimed to 'assist' Frederique Hernandez in his search for gold on the asteroid.
Race: Ghost?!
Occupation: Space Superhero
Space Ghost was a remarkable man. In fact, some weren't sure if he was a man at all. At times, he seemed almost like a poorly animated cartoon character. But this didn't stop him from possessing amazing powers, such as the ability to breath in space without the aid of any sort of airtank. Some have speculated that Space Ghost was likely even the one to invent the ability known as the Iron Lung, and his use of it would be enough even to make certain Zelzakians jealous. His other extraordinary powers included that of flight and his famous INVISO-POWER. The name says it all. Space Ghost was also a physically powerful man, dressed in a skintight white jumpsuit, complete with a cape and some weird black hood thing that hid most of his face. He also wore red bracers that seemed to contain incredible power, and could be used to blast any enemies, provided Space Ghost didn't decide to remove them when threatened with a flying timebomb. The heroes first encountered Space Ghost on the abandoned asteroid, where he had come to save his companions, Jan and Jace, who were always getting captured. He was also known to be allies with some caveman named Ugh, though he didn't bring this man with him into space for obvious reasons.
Race: Loracian
Occuaption: Commercial Spaceline Pilot
Like most members of his race, Guredan had darker skin and a darker disposition that the circumstances certainly warranted. He was clean-shaven, with short dark hair and a professional pilot's uniform, complete with a pilot's hat and badge. Guredan was the pilot of Blight Wraith, a somewhat outdated Loracian passenger vessel that had recently docked on space station Epsilon. Of course, this was only meant to be a short stop for the ship to resupply before moving on to its destination. Although Guredan seemed to be quite professional, he wasn't above making a living in ways that some wouldn't consider entirely aboveboard.
Race: Arsan
Occupation: Co-Pilot of the Blight Wraith
Ricky seemed to be the entirely generic co-pilot of the Blight Wraith. His appearance is hardly worth describing, and consisted of some ordinay uniform and some very plain features. His only personality traits appeared to involve being horribly ill and constantly whining about this very illness. His skills as a pilot were never really tested, and were likely quite average, unlike his chances of surviving any adventure in which he would appear. He had apparently become ill during the flight to the station, and his symptoms seemed to include difficulty breathing and general feebleness, although this could also have been attributed to his generic status. Of particular note was the fact that, when faced with a choice of chiken or fish for the in-flight dinner, Ricky had chosen the fish, a choice he would later regret.
Race: Loracian
Occupation: Vagabond
The name quite accurately describes the enigmatic figure known as the Vagabond. As his occupation would suggest, he wore a tattered hooded cloak and other assorted rags. The only clothes of even decent quality that he seemed to possess were his fingerless gloves. Otherwise, it looked like he had done most of his shopping at the local dumpster. The Vagabond was apparently one of the passengers on the Blight Wraith, though it did seem hard to believe that he could have forked over enough money to have purchased a ticket. His main activities seemed to involve panhandling and loitering in public places. He also seemed to be crazy, which would perhaps explain his strong desire to loiter.
Race: Deksiilan
Occupation: Audiotronics Sales
It was unclear whether Kiley's first name was actually 'Crazy' or whether it was simply a title she'd been given. What was made abundantly clear by her numerous rants was that the deals she offered on stereo equipment were most certainly crazy. In more ways than one. First, she'd have to be crazy to think most people would consider paying such prices, and her customers would have to be crazy to actually purchase anything from her. She was dressed in a silver shirt and bell-bottoms, and had blond hair that fell to her shoulders. This disco apparel also seemed to appeal to Jazz, who was more than willing to pay her crazy prices if it would get him some action. Subwoofer action, to be precise. Crazy Kiley was another passenger on the Blight Wraith, and seemed to be transporting a fair amount of merchandise on the ship.
Race: Arsan
Occuation: Medical Examiner
A famous medical examiner from Arsa, Quincy was known most for his baseless accusations which he would continually voice until eventually he would accuse the guilty party, and thus solve the case at hand. He could best be described as a stern man, with white hair and a grey suit. Quincy had once worked with Sam, though if his current behavriour was any indication, this 'work' had mostly included accusing the station's medical officer of various misdeeds. In fact, this was the very reason he had come to the station. Quincy had been on his way to Lorac to study some of the rare diseases that persisted in the swamps of that dark world, and had decided to stop and pay a visit to his old 'friend' along the way. Surprisingly enough, Sam really didn't see too pleased to see his old boss.
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