Adventure Overview
Players: Rei, Mr. Rhyze, Morton, Faust.
Enemies: Space monsters and Coffee Barons.
Started: As Vice-Admiral Flanedra inspected the Station.
Ended: With the analysis of the Black Box.
This adventure began as the station was being inspected by Vice-Admiral Flanedra and his retenue of bureaucrats. This visit would be important in determining the kind of funding which Epsilon would receive from Starfleet command. Flanedra began his inspection on the Bridge. The bureaucrat with him noted that they weren't enough randomly flashing lights, and that Mr. Rhyze did not have proper posture when sitting in his George Takai chair. Under such intense scrutiny, Mr. Rhyze dared not even play Free-Cell. However, his chair certainly earned him high marks from the Vice-Admiral. Next, the command team moved to Sick Bay, where they observed the station's medical team in action. Sam had no trouble helping a wounded Red Shirt under even such heavy pressure, and Faust usually managed to pass him the correct implements. When it came to the morgue, the bureaucrat was not nearly so impressed. He questioned the way all the corpses were merely stuffed into a big freezer, and implied that this wasn't really following proper procedure. Faust assured him that all the people in his morgue were both dead and properly preserved.
The next order of business was to inspect the armaments of the station. In a dangerous area such as Sector Y, defenses are essential for any installation. As such, the inspection team soon arrived in the Main Gun turret, ready to watch this large cannon in action. Since Shaimus was still being investigated for his launching of the fireworks (and the associated beatings of Mr. Rhyze and Faust), Rei was designated to demonstrate the cannon. The bureaucrat quickly questioned whether a janitor should truly be authorised to fire such a weapon, and Picard was the first to agree that it went against protocol, and would not normally be allowed. Nevertheless, Rei was pleased to fire the cannon at several oddly-shaped virtual targets. These included a Teddy Bear and a paper airplane, which were designed to appear harmless and thus take the gunner by surprise. Rei missed with her first shot, but managed to hit the second target. Flanedra commented that one for two really wasn't too bad and moved the inspection down to the military hangar. Morton and Falco were waiting for them, and wasted no time in explaining their ships, and bragging about their own skills. Flanedra was very interested in the Heatwave which had been given to the Station fleet by Daikon-7. Apparently, allowing a company to sponsor a military station was not often done, but the Vice-Admiral was most impressed by this generous donation. The bureaucrat was not nearly so impressed by the pilots' description of their own skills. The group soon found themselves in the flight simulator, where Morton and Falco demonstrated the finer points of space flight. Although Morton failed his first Top Gun, he succeeded at the second, and Flanedra again stated that one out of two was really not too bad.
The Vice-Admiral's group went on to inspec the engineering section, which basically involved watching Shaimus weld, and the security on the station. This latter mainly featured Jamal rapping and eating messily. Once all these inspections were over, Flanedra spent some time in meetings with Commander Zaya and Jean-Luc Picard. After the conclusion of these meetings, the Vice-Admiral departed in the Dreadnought cruiser and began his long voyage back to Deksiil. Work aboard the Station could now return to normal.
Work Log: Throughout Flanedra's inspection, you've been under heavy pressure from Jean-Luc Picard to keep the station absolutely spotless. This hasn't proven easy given the nefarious actions of the Littterer. This mysterious villain has been leaving messes all over Epsilon, and you never know where he'll strike next. Fortunately, the inspection is over, but that doesn't mean you can be lax in your duties.
Cleaning Incidents:
-You found some sticky orange substance spilled all over the boiler room door. This unidentified orange liquid had been used to sign the crime, and the graffiti on the wall reads only: 'The Litterer.'
-Several ships are currently docked in Space Bay 1. While cleaning among them, you discovered a number of freshly ground coffee beans.
Personal Notes:
-Vice-Admiral Flanedra seemed quite impressed with your conservatory. You expect to receive Starfleet funding at any time so you can pursue this janitorial interest.
-While watching one of your many tapes of Days of the Week, you heard a sudden pounding on the boiler room door. There was no one there when you opened the door, but the hallway outside was covered with black marks.
Mini-Objective:
-Clean up any messes created by the Litterer.
Work log: Vice-Admiral Flanedra's inspection has concluded, which should mean you can log more time into your Free-cell record. However, before he left, Flanedra had his people install some new Communications equipment. Although supposedly better, it's taking you some time to get used to the new interface and controls.
Incoming Transmissions:
(This is a log of all recent transmissions sent to the station from the outside.)
-You received a request to land from a trading vessel. The captain's voice sounded very Colombian, enough to make you almost think Senor Nabob had mastered the art of being two places at once. You granted the ship permission to dock.
-Controversy continues to swirl throughout the Intergalactic Blitzball League. This time it's about cybernetic limbs and their applications in Blitzball. Some Tortalian scientist has completed a prosthetic he calls 'The Iron Leg' and wants to see it used by the Electran Team. However, the request is still being considered by the Blitzball governing body, and is likely to be denied. Who needs such an enhancement when you've got talent like yours?
Outgoing Transmissions: (A list of transmissions sent from your console to the rest of the galaxy.)
System Status:
-This new Communications system was created by Starfleet's top scientists. You've heard that the head researcher was actually some sort of ex-wrestler. Take about a career change. Anyway, this new system is supposed to be faster, more efficient on power, and have a greater range. It's also supposed to be able to bypass most forms of communications jamming.
Personal Notes:
-Vice-Admiral Flanedra has earned your admiration, mainly due to his chair. You've never seen anything like it! Someday, you hope to obtain a cutting edge chair like that and get it signed by George Takai.
-Apparently, those Deksiilan biologists are still docked at Epsilon. You heard two of them talking in Bennigan's. It seems they ran out of storage space on their ship, and have borrowed the use of one of the pub's Deep Freezers to store some of their recently acquired monster corpses. Not an appetizing thought.
Mini-Objective:
-Learn to operate the more advanced communications system to full effect.
Work Log: You seem to have regained the trust of your superiors, at least for now. This means you're back to the standard flight missions and patrols. You definitely prefer flying through the vastness of space as opposed to jobs like welding. Only ill-tempered engineers could like that sort of work. All the same, you've developped a thirst that Guiness alone cannot quench.
Docked Flights:
-The Bionicle, a science vessel from Deksiil, is docked in Space Bay 1. The scientists are still studying the remains of Grassmann's time monsters.
-The San Juan, a Chalchakian trading vessel, is also docked in Space Bay 1. This ship arrived recently, and is ostentaciously on its way to the markets of Sphere.
Personal Notes:
-Station gossip suggests that Lucky has recently imported a rare and potent bottle of Irish Spirits. Jamal claims it was recently checked through security, although considering his stationary post in Bennigan's, it's hard to imagine how he might know this. You've always prided yourself on your ability to consume heavy alcohol, and these well-aged Spirits sound like they might just hit the spot.
-Falco has recently been complaining about all the strangers wandering through the military hangar. Apparently, he saw some guy with yellow hair take a couple buckets of tar. Of course, who really has a use for tar anyway?
Mini-Objective:
-Obtain and consume this rare bottle of Irish Spirits.
Work Log: You're still getting settled in at your new posting. This station certainly doesn't have the kind of facilities you would like to run a proper morgue. So far, your time has been spent cataloguing the few corpses you do possess and helping Sam with his medical research. Unfortunately, Sam seems to be a very effective doctor, which means the Red Shirts who come in for his treatment rarely end up in your care.
Body Count: (In other words, the population of your morgue. All these corpses are currently stored in the freezer of Sick Bay. It's definitely not big enough for your purposes, but it can easily fit the small number of deceased currently in your care.)
-Half a dozen Red Shirts, two recently deceased upon your arrival.
-About twenty crushed bees. You managed to recover these tiny bodies before they were swept away by the janitor. She'd better not try to clean up any more of your 'patients'! These insects apparently came from the Dogs with Bees in their Mouths.
Medical Research:
-Sam is currently investigating the mysterious ailment which affected Jamal and Morton during the Vice-Admiral's visit. Apparently, the illness was caused by some strange unrecognisable chemical. Sam seems to think that this chemical was very carefully engineered to cause only one effect without otherwise affecting the patient.
Necromancy Report:
-The most recent issue of Necromancy Monthly, the only official Necromancer's magazine (quite understandably), focuses on a new diet for all undead. This article claims that the most nutritious food for undead is brains. Mmm…brains. Of course, it's extremely difficult to actually obtain such an ingredient. Besides, the authorities tend to frown on that sort of thing.
Personal Notes:
-Your morgue could definitely use some improvements. Eventually, you'd like to actually have the use of a separate room. However, the first things that any morgue needs are bodies. There have to be more corpses stashed somewhere around the Station! Especially considering the recent clashes with monsters. Your morgue isn't race-exclusive, and you're willing to take anything you can get, so long as it's fully deceased.
-While skating through the Engineering Tunnels in the hopes of finding dead rats, you happened to see Lucky stash some glass object in a wooden crate. Since neither this object nor the crate appeared to have ever been alive, you merely continued on your way.
Mini-Objective:
-Obtain as many corpses as you can for your morgue.
As always, the action resumed as the four heroes entered Bennigan's for their midday meal. All the tables were occupied save one. It seemed the pub was fairly busy on this day, and Senor Nabob would probably claim that it was due to him alone. He was still offering his special Premium Coffee for free to anyone who wanted it. Lucky was quick to take all the orders , and returned with the group's food (or drink, as the case may be) in mere moments. As Rei ate a potato, she commented on the strange orange liquid found outside the boiler room. Faust stated that he could easily analyse it in Sick Bay, since Sam was analysing other stuff anyway. Rei couldn't disagree with such a proposal, and offered Faust the frozen fish from her boiler room as payment. Meanwhile, Mr. Rhyze had approached Senor Nabob, and after refusing a cup of coffee, he told the Coffee Baron that another Colombian ship had docked at the station. Nabob was instantly furious that his coffee monopoly might be in jeopardy. Without any hesitation, he presented Mr. Rhyze with ten marks and told him that he might be needed to deal with these competitors. Faust received a similar offer, and both accepted.
Morton was not interested in any such offer, or his usual Guiness. He declared it weak, and asked Lucky to take him into the kitchen, where he could examine the rest of the drinks. Lucky led him to a storage cellar full of alcoholic beverages. However, none appeared to be what Morton was looking for. He told Lucky that he had heard about a very well aged bottle of Irish Spirits. With an Irish exclaimation of fear, Lucky quickly ran to hide. Both the Irish sous-chefs in the room also started to panic. After futily chasing Lucky for several moments, Morton decided to search the kitchen. After a fairly thorough examination, he could find no sign of the Irish Spirits. He wasn't ready to give up yet, and recalled the Engineering Tunnels beneath the pub. In moments, he was down in the darkness among the many potato sacks and crates. There were many supplies to go through, but Morton's thirst would not be denied. As Morton began this search, the other heroes had finished their meals and were leaving to deal with their own affairs.
Mr. Rhyze went straight back to the bridge. He found his communications replacement in the midst of losing a game of Free-Cell. Without much argument, Mr. Rhyze returned to his normal post and continued to accustom himself with the new communications equipment. He had barely gotten started when he began to receive a transmission. It was extremely faint, and probably wouldn't even have been picked up by the old communications system. In order to interpret the transmission, the communications officer would need to find its exact frequency. This process is more difficult than any layman could imagine, and required all of Mr. Rhyze's vast experience and boolean logic to accomplish. In the end, Mr. Rhyze was able to win this game of Mastermind and find the correct frequency to interpret the message. The result was still extremely muffled, and Mr. Rhyze could only make out two things: the coordinates from which the transmission was being sent and Morse code, repeatedly asking for help. Picard analysed the coordinates and found that they were not as far from the station as was first suggested. Commander Zaya was reluctant to respond to this call, saying that both the Electrans and the Spherans had asked that they only relay such communications to them rather than investigate themselves. However, Jean-Luc Picard convinced her that ignoring a call for aid went against Starfleet's Prime Directive.
It was still doubtful that any ships could reach the signal in time to be of any help. Rather, it was expected that they would likely find only another space wreck. All the same, Falco and Morton were called to duty. Vance was also summoned to the bridge, as Picard stated that he was very interested in these monster attacks. Vance stated that he would personally be part of the salvage team in order to bring back the proper pieces for study. In particular, he wanted to locate the ship's Black Box, which might contain video of the ship's final moments. In order to perform this salvage, the SG-3 transport would be needed. This meant that another pilot would also be required. Being a Zelzakian, Mr. Rhyze could conserve more valuable air and fuel, and thus was chosen to join the expedition, against his own wishes. The team departed moments later, with Falco and Morton leading the way in their respective space fighters.
As they approached the coordinates from which the signal had been sent, Morton's Heatwave could detect a large amount of floating space debris, but no other signs of movement. It appeared that they were too late to save this ship. Vance told the pilots to assume a holding pattern around the wreckage while he and Mr. Rhyze performed the salvage. The space suits carried enough air for fourty minutes, which Vance believed would be more than enough. Engaging his jet-pack, the science officer led Mr. Rhyze out into the wreckage field. It did not take long for them to locate the pressurized safe which held the Black Box. In the process, Mr. Rhyze also found the frozen corpse of an Electran Soldier, which he decided to bring back to the station for Faust. After loading the safe and the body into the SG-3, the two headed back out into space in an attempt to find an insignia which might identify the wrecked vessel. Near the center of the cluster, they found a section of the hull that bore the Imperial Electran Insignia as well as the name of the ship, The Crescent. As Mr. Rhyze pondered the similarity of this name to that of the Croissant, Vance notices a sudden burst of movement. Falco and Morton didn't detect anything on their scanners, but visuals told a different story. They could see a number of dark forms congregating about the SG-3.
Vance and Mr. Rhyze got a much closer view, as a pair of Shadow Wraiths appeared before them. As before, these monsters had the ability to cloak and thus avoid any scanner detection, allowing them to sneak up on the unsuspecting heroes. The fragile spacesuits would not be able to withstand many hits from the Wraiths' claws before being rendered useless. As such, Mr. Rhyze and Vance made for their ship as quickly as Vance's jet-pack would allow. In the process, Mr. Rhyze held the creatures at bay with his psychic fire. Meanwhile, Morton and Falco were racing to confront a group of five wraiths that were hovering around the SG-3. The two pilots let fly with missiles, but one of Morton's missed its target and ended up smashing into the SG-3. Fortunately, the heavily armored transport wasn't too badly damaged, and was still intact when Mr. Rhyze and Vance managed to climb onboard. When it came to lazer combat, the Deksiilan pilots made short work of the Shadow Wraiths. However, they had barely finished dealing with the creatures when Falco picked up over a dozen signals on his scanner, approaching from the Asteroid Belt. It was left to the communications officer to hurriedly hail these new ships. It turned out to be a squad of Red Wing Drakkhaans, led by Captain Ataris. The Spherans were not overly pleased that the Deksiilans had ignored their jurisdictional advice. Ataris told the team that the Spherans would take over the investigation, and that they should return to their station. The Epsilon Team was only too happy comply. Besides, as Vance put it, they already had what they were looking for.
Rei and Faust were not idle during this whole space expedition. After eating at Bennigan's, the two of them went down to the boiler room to pick up a sample of the sticky orange liquid which the Litterer had used in his vandalism. Getting this sample proved easy, but upon arriving there, Rei noticed a message pinned to the boiler room door. This is recreated below, without any embellishment.
Yo Janitor!
You seem to think you're good at keeping this place clean. The cueball Picard is about to find out otherwise. You're gonna have to hustle to his office if you want any chance of cleaning up the mess I left behind. There's no way you can clean as fast as I can trash. You ain't gonna catch me, either!
Rei wasted no time in heading to Picard's office, where she found more of the Litterer's handiwork. The mess that she discovered there would test any janitor's mettle. The exact situation and mechanics of this cleaning are described below.
Any janitor knows that keeping things clean is harder than it appears. That's likely why the Codex of Frank suggests making others do as much cleaning as possible. In the rare cases where this advice cannot be used, janitors are forced to use their own cleaning techniques to deal with any messes that might arrise.
The mess created by the Litterer appears to contain three major ingredients. The floor has been smeared with some sort of tar. The walls and floor have also been pelted with moldy potatos. Finally, a pile of plexi-glass shards has been spread about. Rei can perform the following moves to clean this area. These techniques will have a different effect on the various types of grime. Unfortunately, she only has a limited amount of time before Jean-Luc Picard happens to step out of his office. Each move takes up a certain amount of Time. The required check must be passed before the move is successful. Each technique can be used as many times as the janitor desires.
| Cleaning Move | Check | Time |
| Mopping | x5 Dex | 4 |
| Mr. Clean | x4 Int | 1 |
| Scrubbing | x4 Hlth + 20 | 7 |
| Dustpan | x3 Will + 25 | 5 |
| Window Washing | x4 Dex | 3 |
| Vaccuuming | x4 Agi | 4 |
| Pressure-Sprayer | x3 Str | 2 |
Rei's beginning tactic was to use the Dustpan to pick up some of the Plexi-Glass. It takes extreme willpower to get down there and sweep stuff into a frustratingly tiny dustpan, but she managed it. The scrubbing which followed proved more difficult, but it did manage to remove some of the tar. She next tried the pressure-sprayer, which got rid of many moldy potatos. Her final tactic was Mr. Clean. However, the bottles can be very tricky to open, and she had to try many times. The results were worth the effort. There was a loud hiss when she poured the Mr. Clean on the tar, and steam rose everywhere. When it cleared, a great deal of the tar was gone. By the time Picard stepped out of his office, about half of each substance had been cleaned. As usual, Jean-Luc was not overly pleased, and stated he might have to fill out a complaint form which would be processed in four to six weeks.
As Rei was doing her job, Faust was back in Sick Bay, ready to analyse the sample he had brought from the boiler room. His first step was to taste it, and he found it had a refreshing, salty orange flavor. With Sam's help, he was able to determine that this substance was simply Orange Gatorade. A trip to Doug's ensued, where Faust learned that some fellow with yellow hair had purchased several bottles of this beverage.
Next, Faust decided to infiltrate the Deksiilan science vessel in order to obtain some of the monster corpses for his morgue. After making an appointment, he eventually met with Professor Soliantis in the ship's laboratory. The main specimen in this lab was currently the giant Shoopuf, which was still being studied. Soliantis did not seem willing to allow Faust to confiscate this corpse, or any other. He did admit that the research team had a surplus of corpses, and several dogs with bees in their mouths had been stored in the freezer of Bennigan's. After much convincing, Soliantis agreed to let Faust examine the Shoopuf. The professor had other matters to deal with, and left Faust with an intern to aid him. As soon as Soliantis was gone, Faust began to cut open the Shoopuf's brain in preparation to remove its brain. The intern panicked, and when Faust refused to stop, tackled him. After bearing the mortician to the ground, the young intern ran to get help. The moment he was gone, Faust finished removing the brain and stuffed it into his suitcase. Footsteps were fast approaching the lab, so Faust decided to sneak out the backdoor. Eventually, he ended up in another storage area which contained both the deceased Geodude and a really old coffin. Curious, Faust opened the coffin to reveal a pale man with a dark cape and pointy teeth. Worse yet, this fellow still seemed to be alive. With a creepy laugh, the man rose from the coffin and declared himself Dracula. A fight ensued, during which Dracula attempted to bite Faust and brought forth 'the powers of darkness'. These powers looked alot like a flame fist. With the help of Frankenstein, his zombie dog, Faust defeated Dracula and stuffed him back into his coffin. Amazingly, he managed to bring all these corpses out of the vessel and back to the morgue without attracting too much attention.
By this point, the space expedition had returned to Epsilon. Vance immiediately went to the science lab to work on the Black Box. Meanwhile, Morton and Mr. Rhyze happened to arrive at Bennigan's at the same time as Rei and Faust. Morton went back to the kitchen and caught Lucky, still searching for the rare bottle of Irish Spirits. Lucky finally admitted that he had hidden it at the 'End of the rainbow' before fleeing. Morton resumed his search in the Engineering tunnels, and eventually found a rainbow colored crate which contained the aged bottle. A couple drags put Morton into a stupor. Meanwhile, Senor Nabob was giving instructions to his henchmen. He told Mr. Rhyze and Faust to come see him when they were finished eating. Faust ignored these instructions and instead raided Bennigan's freezer, intent on recovering the monster corpses stored within. Mr. Rhyze did as Nabob asked, but found no response when he knocked on the door. However, he did hear some rustling from inside the room. Curious, Mr. Rhyze took up a position down the hallway to watch. His vigil was interupted by Rei, who had decided that this was a perfect time for a water fight. As such, she had gone to the boiler room to get both her pressure-sprayer and her ally, Squirttle. Upon finding Mr. Rhyze, she soaked him thoroughly. During this confusion, two figures tried to sneak out of Nabob's room, carrying a big sack between them.
Instant Cappuchino Upon being noticed, the coffee barons decided they had to silence all witnesses. In the battle that followed, Mr. Rhyze and Rei managed to overcome Instant's incredible speed, and ended up killing him quite by accident. Nabob was freed from the sack, although he remained unconscious despite Rei's numerous water blasts.
Just as this encounter was resolved, an announcement requested that all members of the salvage team report to the science lab. Soon, all the aforementioned plus Commander Zaya and Picard were gathered before a large video monitor. Vance had managed to restore the Black Box, and stated that it contained a few seconds of footage which would prove very enlightening. The film was blurry, but Vance had digitally reconstructed it enough to make it discernable. For a moment the screen showed only space, and then a black Falcon-X streaked into view, firing powerful shots towards the camera. A red symbol could barely be seen on the side of this fighter. Moments later, the screen went blank. Upon magnification, the red symbol on the side of the fighter appeared to be shaped like some sort of fang. Falco instantly recognised it. He didn't sound pleased to announce that it was the symbol of Star Wolf, the infamous space pirate. Falco had faced the Star Wolf team before, and had not enjoyed the encounter. One of the questions which could not be answered was why Star Wolf would be causing such destruction in Sector Y. This grim discovery ended Adventure 9.
Race: Chalchakian
Occupation: Coffee Baron
This character is added only due to his awesome name. A coffee baron sent to Epsilon to kidnap Senor Nabob. He carried two D6 miniguns, and could fire them in an 'instant.'
Race: Electran
Occupation: Coffee Baron
Another hitman sent with Instant. He had frothy white hair and a white suit. In battle, he wielded psychic energies to no great effect. In fact, Mr. Rhyze called him a disgrace to Psi-Xaquel.
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