Enemies: Zorak, Septamiss, Johnny Cage, White She-Devil, Senor Nabob and more.
Ended: With Jazz being accepted as an intern in the BROTHERhood.
Deciding that she would need more incriminating dirt to warrant sweeping out Denise, Rei went over to security for a talk with the new chief of security, Adolfus Grizzby. Grizzby was seated by the task, filling out some kind of customs form. Once she was done making fun of his name, the janitor asked Adolfus which room had been assigned to Denise Richards. Adolfus was reluctant to give out such information, but eventually agreed after more ridicule of his name. Rei went on to say that the mayo Denise seemed to be passing out might be expired, which would constitute a major health risk. Grizzby was more interested in locating his security card, and asked Rei if she'd seen it. This gave the janitor another excuse to accuse Denise, despite the fact that she hadn't yet been on the station at the time of the card's disappearance. Claiming that Zaya was taking a personal interest in this matter, Rei suggested that Adolfus should investigate the new engineer as soon as possible. As she took her leave, Grizzby gave her a warning. Apparently, a large number of Red-Shirts had been disappearing recently. And while it wasn't unusual for the fragile officers to die, it was a bit strange that their bodies were nowhere to be found.
With the room number confirmed, it didn't take Rei long to locate Denise's guest quarters. Using Adolfus Grizzby's ID card, she was easily able to get inside. There wasn't much in the room aside from a suitcase of clothes and another of mayo. Hoping to avoid the shower scene that was so prominent in Undercover Brother, Rei quickly ripped up all of Denise's clothes. Fortunately, most of them were attached with velcro already, making certain portions easy to tear out. She also took a sample of the mayo for future use, noting as she did that it was unfortunately not yet expired.
Meanwhile, Anton Jackson was still being occupied by Denise Richards. After devouring still more mayo, Morton declared his intention to go visit Doug, but assured Denise he would come by to see her later. The purpose of this visit was to restock his ammunition, and after a bit of haggling and a whole lot of paying, Morton found himself down in the military bay lounge with more autoblaster and PK-97 bullets. Johnny was already there, chilling out next to his custom Falcon. This gave him the opportunity to spread more gossip, and he quickly claimed to be an item with the station's new chief engineer. However, as Morton spoke to him, it became clear that Johnny had not yet even met Denise Richards. Not that he wasn't eager to do so. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to find his jack-hammer, which could be used to knock down Denise's door and thus impress her. Or so Johnny hoped. At Morton's urgings, the Iceman raced out to locate this tool, leaving Morton free to work on his damaged ship.
Meanwhile, Denise was convincing Jazz to do some shopping of his own. In spite of Ginzu's protests, the two were soon over at Doug's, in search of some nice new clothes. As far as Denise was concerned, this included slacks and a green sweater. Although it drained the last of his money, Jazz had no choice but to purchase and wear said clothing. Shopping completed, Denise declared that the shopping had made her thirsty, and asked Anton where she could get a drink. Anton responded that his ship had an orange soda dispenser, and that they could get Big Gulps down in the military bay. Orange soda didn't seem to appeal to Denise, and she asked for some Vanilla Coke instead. Served in a small Gulp. Fortunately, Jazz was able to provide this by cutting off the top of a Big Gulp. Denise was also most impressed by Jazz's ship, although obviously not so enthusiastic about the DJ's choice of music.
During all this, Ginzu was doing his own inquiries. He was looking into the mysterious disappearance of Samo Hung, and thus he took a chance to speak with Falco before the pilot could leave Bennigan's. Unfortunately, Falco hadn't been paying attention to Samo's movements, and wasn't sure where he could be found. However, he didn't think that the Warchon had left the station. The only transport to depart had taken only the enigmatic Kung-Fu Master that the players knew better as Undercover Brother. Ginzu's next plan was to set a trap for Samo, using a bunch of old knives as bait. He set these knives up in the hallway in the hopes that the portly director would come to pick them up. Instead, he only succeeded in killing several Red-Shirts who were accompanying Adolfus Grizzby to Denise Richards' room. Noting the presence of these dangerous knives, Adolfus quickly set up some police tape around them to prevent further Red-Shirt injuries. Unfortunately, a few more Red-Shirts actually died during this process. Regardless, Ginzu questioned Adolfus about Samo, even as he chortled about the fact that the security chief was from Virginia. Adolfus didn't approve, but still told Ginzu that Sam had been mentioning something about this Samo Hung, and that Ginzu should look to him for more information on the matter.
This set Ginzu off at a run, and he soon reached sick bay. Sam was waiting for him with two pots of coffee, despite the fact that the Warchon didn't like the stuff. Regardless, Sam assumed he took it black, and spent several moments chatting idly about Ginzu's trip to Batoche, and how they should have called him in to help. Pleasantries aside, Ginzu finally got the chance to ask about Samo Hung. Sam had known that Wasabe had been looking for Hung, though it seemed that he had found him only too late. Pulling a white blanket off a nearby bed, Sam gestured to the corpse of Samo Hung. He had apparently died while the group had been gone. His body had been discovered down in the boiler room, with a small prick to the neck as the cause of death. When asked to speculate on what could have killed the man while only producing such a small mark, Sam only laughed and declare that it had surely been some sort of accident. Seeing that Sam refused to harbour any suspicions of foul play, Ginzu decided to check the scene of the crime himself, and rushed down towards the boiler room.
On his way down to the station's lowest level, the chef encountered Rei. After explaining the situation to her, and considering that they were allies in the fight against mayo, and thereby Denise Richards, Rei agreed to let Ginzu into the boiler room for a quick inspection. Squirttle wasn't quite so welcoming, and greeted the newcomer with an enthusiastic blast of water. After recovering from this greeting, Ginzu stared at the faded bloodstain where Samo must have fallen. At this point, Rei remembered the dart that she had found in the boiler room. Showing it to Ginzu caused a great deal of shock. Although he had left his homeworld of Warchor some time ago, Ginzu could still remember that poisoned darts were the trademark weapons of the Psi-Keel Moross, Warchor's most deadly assassins. And he recalled also the rumours that some of these dreaded warriors had been sent out to eliminate all Warchons who were associating themselves with outsiders. This had included the chefs of Warchon Wok, and, Ginzu feared, Samo Hung. The possibility of a Psi-Keel assassin being on the station was now all too real. Not really versed in Warchon culture, Rei wasn't really worried about this at all. Instead, she was busy placing the mayo sample she had taken from Denise's room next to the boiler, hoping that the heat would cause it to go bad. Or at least worse than it already was.
Morton was just putting some finishing touches on his ship when Johnny raced into the room to tell them all that a flashy ship was arriving at the station. The Man was instantly distracted by Denise's presence, and quickly offered to prove his manliness by putting on his Tintin sweater. Sipping Vanilla Coke through a straw, Jazz told him that this wasn't a very nice thing to do. Meanwhile, Morton had rushed to the window to watch this ship's arrival. It was a fast, dynamic luxury transport, covered with roving strobe lights and video screens. Most of them seemed to be showing scenes of a ripped martial-artist whipping off his sunglasses, saying various catch-phrases and beating the tar out of a bunch of other annonymous ninjas. A glowing sign identified this ship as the eXtreme Salary, and the video screens identified its owner as Johnny Cage, intergalactic action star. Even as he postured for Denise, Johnny assured Morton that this Mortal Kombat character was more than he could handle. And that Cage's martial-arts and separate block button would have the pilot KO'ed in about two rounds flat. Determined to prove the Iceman wrong, Morton rushed towards space bay two to greet the approaching ship. At Denise's urging, Anton Jackson decided to go as well, still sipping his Coke.
The three arrived in the space bay as the eXtreme Salary was unloading. A bunch of crewmen were jumping out of the ship and running around, trailing spontaneous explosions. Several ripped guys in martial-arts pants stepped out, looking very much like Johnny Cage. However, they turned out to merely be his stunt doubles. They were followed by a man with a curly mustache and a french beret. He was apparently Johnny Cage's director, and was wondering where he should set up this big promotional event. Morton suggested Bennigan's, and the director quickly agreed. Apparently, the unveiling of Uncaged, Johnny's new album, would require a whole lot of audio and video equipment, including several giant subwoofers. Needless to say, Jazz was there. And he was not alone. A large crowd had gathered in Bennigan's to see the show, including Denise Richards, Morton, Ginzu and even the Broker, who was giving away free popcorn chicken in spite of Ginzu's attempts to stop him. A television crew had been hastily assembled to tape the proceedings, and several screens were now mounted above a stage in one corner of the pub. These screens began showing footage from Johnny Cage's most recent film, Cagematch, even as pumping action music started droning out of the speakers. All the spotlights focused on the door as the star made his entrance.
Johnny Cage Johnny slowly stepped into the room, posing for the crowd. Suddenly, a random guy in a white ninja suit lept up to attack him. Without hesitation, the action star whipped off both his sunglasses and his polo shirt before assuming a martial-arts pose. To the applause of the crowd, he proceeded to kick his foe across the room. Jazz and Denise were both impressed, but Morton was convinced that the blow hadn't even connected. Standing victorious over his foe, Johnny Cage pulled out a piece of chicken and took several bites, declaring that he always ate the General's chicken after winning an impromptu Kung-Fu battle. Which happened constantly. After defeating several more random foes, Johnny Cage finally reached the stage, put his sunglasses back on, and assumed a victory pose. Morton had no doubt that all those fights had been fixed, and barged forward to personally challenge the action star. Looking amused, Johnny whipped off his sunglasses again, and told Morton that it was time to dance. In response, the pilot tore off his vest and lept to the attack. Morton's initial onslaught was clearly much fiercer than Johnny Cage expected, but he retaliated with his split-punch and then used a dramatic flying jumpkick to finish Morton and send him tumbling from the stage. Declaring the move to be excellent, Johnny was about to assume his victory pose again when he noticed Morton stumbling to his feet. A few good sloppy punches shattered Cage's sunglasses, and left the action star gasping for breath, but he was still able to down Morton with one last blast of green fire.
Instants later, a half dozen of Johnny Cage's stuntmen surrounded the bleeding actor, but he quickly ushered them aside so that he could bask in his victory. The director quickly started up the first track of Uncaged, and Johnny chose people from the enthusiastic audience to join him on stage and sing along. This included both Ginzu and Jazz. Denise was delighted to discover that Anton actually had a good singing voice. The performance was only slightly marred by Ginzu's confusion and the fact that the boom-mike kept getting in the shot. And hitting people in the head. In fact, when Morton finally awakened for some post-fight commentary, he was shocked to recognise the boom-mike operator as the same one who had been part of Rastipopeles' gang, and had been locked up in the brig. Unfortunately, the boom-mike clunked him on the head and knocked him out before he could point this out to anyone else. As the festivities concluded, Adolfus Grizzby led a team of wounded Red-Shirts into the pub. They were taking Denise Richards for questioning, apparently about the fact that Grizzby's ID card had been found in her room. Telling Anton that she would meet up with him later, Denise allowed Grizzby to escort her from the room.
Race: Deksiilan
Occupation: Intergalactic Action Star
Originally famous due to his appearance in the Mortal Kombat videogames, Johnny Cage's name was now synonomous with fast-paced, martial-arts action. He looked the part of a movie star, with carefully trimmed dark hair, sunglasses, a green polo shirt and tight black martial-arts pants that extended just past his knees, with a red stripe running down the right side. Of course, both his glasses and his shirt could be tossed asside at any moment, revealing well-oiled muscles. Famous for his martial-arts mastery, Johnny was also known for his signature moves, such as the split-punch (most dreaded by male opponents) and his green fire. These moves were usually on display at every one of his promotional stops, and seemed to be in fact the main selling point of Uncaged, his first musical album. Johnny Cage had come to Epsilon for this exact purpose, in addition to endorsing the General's Fried Chicken, which he claimed to always eat before taking on random ninjas.
Rei was not interested in this fight/promotion, but was instead fixated on a demotion for Denise Richards. As such, she took the now spoiled mayo up to sick-bay, intending to give it and a piece of fried chicken she picked up along the way to Sam for analysis. Unfortunately, the medical officer didn't seem to be around at the moment. Disappointed, Rei went instead over to Commander Zaya's office. After formally logging her complaints against Denise, Rei suggested that she be fired at once. Zaya was certaionly interested in what Rei had to say, but reluctant to fire Denise on her word alone. It seemed that Manolo had been the one to hire her in the first place, and while her intelligence was certainly in question, Zaya noted that she hadn't been pestered by either Johnny or Jazz since Denise's arrival. This seemed to be a great benefit in her eyes, and she also failed to see what was quite so bad about mayo. Still, Zaya agreed to check over Denise's impressive credentials yet again. This done, Rei's final task was a trip down to the military bay lounge, where she found the Man she was looking for. Claiming that Zaya was jealous of the attention that Denise was receiving, Rei urged Johnny to go up and visit her. It didn't take much convincing to send Johnny streaking out.
Unfortunately for Rei's plan, Zaya was no longer in her room. In fact, she had gone up to the bridge and was now sending out an announcement for Jazz to report up there at once. Needless to say, she hardly recognised the man who soon stepped out of the turbolift. With his vest, slacks and flattened afro, Jazz even looked like a respectful officer. Declaring himself to be Anton Jackson, he asked what he could do for Zaya. It turned out that a serious crisis was unfolding on the station. Epsilon's H2O generator had apparently ceased to function, and thus water was longer available anywhere on the station. Zaya didn't know the cause of the problem, but had called Jazz up to the bridge so they could get a plumber on the job. According to a nearby phonebook, there were several plumbers operating in the Spheran area, including the disreputable Slippery Pete, Mario, and Luigi. After a bit of indecision, they finally decided to call the last of these three. Luigi was surprised that anyone had called him over his more famous brother, but offered to come to the station via warp pipes as soon as possible. Of course, first he would have to finish dealing with some sort of haunted mansion which he was exploring with the aid of a vacuum cleaner and flashlight. With nothing to do but wait until Luigi's arrival, Zaya sent Anton down to Bennigan's for some supper.
The scene in Bennigan's was grim as well. The water shortage had sent Lucky and his staff into a virtual panic, and everyone present was growing very thirsty due to the fried chicken. Fortunately, Senor Nabob's coffee machines still seemed to be going full blast, and in light of the scarcity of water, Nabob declared he had no choice but to raise his prices from zero to two marks. And people were more than willing to pay. The heroes, being either cheap or broke, were not amongst those lining up for coffee. Besides, Ginzu stated that he still had a full jug of sake. Looking enraged, Nabob ordered one of his men to break the jug with a bat. The fellow did so, though he earned a slash from Ginzu's sword in response. But as far as Senor Nabob had been concerned, this had been well worth the cost. Much to Jazz and Morton's delight, Denise Richards eventually showed up to the pub, now wearing ripped white leather. Complaining that someone had torn up her clothes, Denise told Anton to wait up for her to visit his room tonight. Neither Morton nor Jazz was sure which of the two of them she meant, so both quickly raced to their rooms to wait. Ginzu cautiously went to his own room, and entered it, both swords drawn. Rei also retired to her quarters, though not before hanging a sign on the door declaring them to be Anton's Room in the hopes of tricking and then smacking Denise Richards.
Jazz waited in his room for about fifteen minutes before he heard a knock on the door. Assuming it was Denise, he invited her to enter. The door slid open, but instead of the new engineer, a brown blanket came flying into the room. Jazz nimbly dodged to the side and the blanket landed harmlessly on his bed. Curious, Jazz declared this to be not very nice, and stepped out the door to investigate. The moment he did so, he found himself covered by another brown blanket. Anton struggled for only a moment before giving up and turning his attention back to sipping his drink. A gruff, spanish voice told him to keep quiet, and in moments, he was being ushered down hallways, and eventually into a room. Th DJ could now hear the sounds of power-tools at work, and many voices speaking at once. The nearest clearly belonged to Senor Nabob, although Jazz couldn't recognise the person he was arguing with. Nabob was just assuring his mysterious companion that he would deal with the heroes. Considering his total monopoly of liquid, it was only a matter of time before all funds on the station were funnelled to him. And The Man would both get a cut of this cash and a guarantee that race relations would be set back at least fifty years. This seemed to satisfy Nabob's enigmatic ally, though he warned Nabob not to grow overconfident.
When the blanket was finally lifted from Jazz's face, he found himself facing only Senor Nabob and the Percolator. They were in Nabob's room, though it was hardly recognisable as a guest chamber anymore. Johnny's jack-hammer, among other things, had been used to expand the room into the very bowels of the station, and it had been turned into a large coffee plantation. Red-Shirts and tourists alike had been turned into slaves, and were now working the fields under the watchful gaze of Nabob's brown-clad gang. Anton demanded to know what was going on, and Nabob responded by declaring that he would have no choice but to join his organization. That said, the coffee baron ordered the Percolator to toss Jazz into an isolation chamber where he would be immolated in spanish culture. This turned out to involve nonstop showings of Spanish Soap Operas, which was clearly enough to hypnotize anyone. By the time Jazz emerged from this torture, he was wearing a panama hat and sipping from a mug of coffee. Worse yet, he would only respond to the name of Senor Anton Jackson. It seemed the DJ had gone so deep undercover that he'd even lost his own identity...
Ginzu was about to encounter trouble of his own. Still paranoid about the possibility of Psi-Keel in his room, he was securing the area, blades in hand. His fears only proved too true. As Ginzu bent down to check under the bed, a dart flew out and narrowly avoiding hitting him in the face. The chef responded with wild slashing that destroyed the bed, but his foe. The man who rolled out from underneath was even somewhat familiar. Shrouded in heavy brown Jedi-robes, this villain slowly drew off his Armorian mask to reveal the black skin of a Warchon. Confirming Ginzu's suspicions, this intruder identified himself as Septamiss, a member of the Psi-Keel Moross sent to eliminate traitors such as Samo Hung. And if Ginzu wasn't willing to renounce his ties and return to the fold, he would also be killed. When Ginzu refused, Septamiss cast off his robes to reveal gleaming Warchon armor and a Kunazash, otherwise known as a Naginata. The ensuing battle proved fierce, with the Warchon assassin quickly eliminating Ginzu's mirror image and almost killing the hero of this age. However, it was Ginzu's invisibility that saved him and allowed him to deliver a finishing blow as Septamiss searched through his robes for his Warchon mask. He just had time to put it on before a berzerk Ginzu decapitated him.
Morton was also waiting for Denise Richards, but was destined to join Jazz in disappointment. He did eventually hear a knock on his door, but when he went to check it, autoblaster at the ready, he found instead the sleek form of Johnny Cage, who lept into his room, punched him and declared that it was time to dance. Morton responded by blowing him away with a barrage from his autoblaster, leaving only a mangled corpse in the wake of the bullet barrage. Upon closer examination, the pilot could tell that a mere stunt-double had been sent after him, and that the real Johnny Cage was likely still recovering from wounds sustained in their previous encounter. Much like Morton himself.
Finally, Rei's scheme to capture Denise Richards didn't seem to be working. However, the janitor did not want to admit that she could be outsmarted by her foe, and thus kept waiting. Eventually, she heard sounds of someone running by her room. Even more suspiciously, she could also hear the sounds of some animal, and it wasn't Squirttle. Curious, Rei slid open her door to take a glance out. In so doing, she narrowly avoided a knockout punch from Tintin, who came dashing into her room, his dog Milou in tow. When asked what he was doing running around at such a late hour, Tintin declared that he was unearthing a conspiracy that stretched all the way up to the highest levels. Not only was the General's Fried Chicken being used to smuggle drugs, Tintin also suspected that drug dealers were building tunnels underneath the station to store said drugs. As evidence of this, Tintin declared that he had heard sounds of construction coming from the outer ring, around rooms 70 to 80. Of course, Tintin also seemed unaware that the engineering tunnels had existed prior to this plot, but a lack of credible information had never stopped him before. Although a bit dubious, Rei suggested all the same that they gather some allies and investigate. Despite Tintin's urges to call upon Captain Haddock, Rei had soon assembled Ginzu and Morton, though she was worried that Jazz was nowhere to be found. Without further hesitation, the group decided to explore the area of the ring that Tintin mentioned, and eventually settled on checking out Senor Nabob's room.
Tintin's aggressive knocks were eventually answered by Senor Anton Jackson, who informed them all that they weren't welcome to the plantation. Shocked by the sight of Jazz in his spanish identity, the group could only stare as their former companion stepped aside. Behind him stood Senor Nabob and the Percolator, the latter holding a large barrel. At Nabob's shout, the Percolator rolled out the barrel. Despite being easy to avoid, this barrel still managed to crush Tintin. As the journalist struggled to free himself, the others dashed in to confront Nabob. While they were staring in awe at the scope of his plantation, Nabob ordered Anton to finish them. However, Ginzu retaliated with a speech urging Jazz to reclaim his blackness and his soul from the black gold of coffee that had clearly tarnished it. With a final declaration of solid, Jazz was finally back to his old self, and after leaping through the window of a shack, he was back in his old clothes. Of course, this served to alert Johnny Cage, who had been lounging inside said shack. Charging out, he found himself confronting Morton for a tense round two. And the combat only grew more intense when Denise Richards rode into the room on a white motorcycle, thus identifying herself as the White She-Devil. Rei used her mop to spin the bike out of control, and in moments the two were struggling hand to hand. Jazz decided to cool the action down a bit by shooting a hole in the watertower that Nabob had been using to syphon off the station's water supply. This soaked both women, and allowed Jazz and Nabob to spend a few minutes watching and chewing on popcorn chicken before they resumed fighting.
After much pain on both sides, and the defeat of Johnny Cage, Senor Nabob and the Percolator took off through the fields in retreat. Morton, Ginzu and Jazz followed, while Denise Richards flipped mayo in Rei's face. As they sprinted through the fields, the heroes could see that Nabob was also prisoners from the brig to work his fields, including M&M, Snoop Dogg, and Neo, who was now erroneously convinced that he could fly. When the three reached the tunnel leading to the station's water supply, they were greeted by the barrel of a rifle and a bucket of GFC, both held by a man that Morton remembered only too well. It seemed that the General involved with this new fried chicken chain was none other than Arkady Ourumov, once a smuggler working for Jabba the Hut. Now he worked for The Man and wanted the heroes to try his chicken. With his cunning tactics, the General was able to down Jazz. Nabob and the Percolator fell in the process, the former growling that his enterprise would never crash. But in the end, Morton and Ginzu were able to drop the General, sending red sliding across his vision. Rei defeated Denise at about the same time, and all the heroes were regrouping when Sam stepped up. Tipping his panama hat, he offered to help them with their wounds. When asked where he had been earlier, Sam cheerfully responded that Nabob had come to him asking for help working the fields, and the medical officer had gladly obliged him. But Nabob would need more help than that once he was sent to jail.
Several hours later, water had been restored to the station, and prisoners returned to their cells. Jazz on the bridge, communicating with the BROTHERhood headquarters. The chief was amazed with his success, and declared that The Man's plans would clearly be stalled for quite some time. In recognition of his good work, the Chief offered Jazz an internship with their organization as soon as his current tour of duty was completed. Maxwell House was also present to congratulate the DJ. As the head of the Coffee Barons Association, he was grateful for the defeat of Senor Nabob. In return for taking down this renegade, Maxwell assured Jazz that a free coffee would be waiting for him next time he stopped by Deksiil. Which could be quite soon indeed.
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