Adventure Overview
Players: Morton, Ginzu, Rei and Jazz.
Enemies: Louis Riel, his Metis, Gangsta' #1, the Devil in the Dark and more.
Started: As the heroes attended recovered from the battle with Vance.
Ended: With the escape of the nefarious Gangsta' #1.
This adventure began with both great anticipation and the last chart of the campaign. Which was completely expected, given that Adventure 40 would be the last multiple of four within the Deep Space saga.
This marks the final, and perhaps most important chart. Morton has always known that he was the best pilot in Sector Y, so there’s no need to make any more predictions in that area. Instead, it’s time for you to assess how his strength measures up to several other important characters in the campaign. Is Morton as macho as he likes to think? Rate the following characters in descending order of strength, with 1 being the strongest, and 15 being the weakest. This chart will determine if you’re strong enough to bear an extra 1500 XP.
This marks the final, and perhaps most important chart. And perhaps Rei will be able to clean up on this one the way she did in the early adventures. But to do that, she’ll have to determine how easy it would be to sweep out the following characters. Rate the following characters in descending order of agility, with 1 being the highest, and 15 being the lowest. The closest results could allow Rei to sweep up 1500 extra XP.
As a distinguished graduate from the U of T, Jazz knows that brains really do count. And it’s time for him to determine who really has the ‘biggest head’. Rate the following characters in descending order of intelligence, with 1 being the smartest, and 15 being the dumbest. Victory on this chart could earn you a cool 1500 XP, and an even cooler orange soda.
As a certified chef, Ginzu knows the importance of good dexterity. It can make the difference between serving up a helping of the General, or severing up your hand. But who else could match his handiwork? It’s time to find out. Rate the following characters in descending order of dexterity, with 1 being the most dextrous and 15 being the least. Victory on this chart won’t allow you to defeat the General, but it could earn you 1500 extra XP.
This chart was also, by far and away, the most complicated to mark. But when all the scores were counted and tallied, Ginzu Wasabe walked away with the extra 1500 XP. And by a considerable margin. Jazz was next in line, with Morton only slightly behind. Rei, dealing with the unquestionably most difficult stat to rank, trailed far behind. In total, their downfalls could likely be attributed to underestimating both Ginzu (who had just gained a level) and Space Ghost, who was, after all, a superhero.
A night had passed after the defeat of Vance and the Next Generation crew. The campaign resumed as the heroes were summoned to security by Commander Zaya for the questioning of Picard. When Ginzu, Rei, Jazz and Morton arrived, they found that the entire Next Generation crew had been shoved into a single cell. Jean-Luc Picard had somehow managed to get a desk into the brig, and was currently writing up some report. Rikker, his beard now shaved, and was staring angrily out at his captors. Warf was also enraged, and claimed that he would never have been imprisoned, were it not for the fact that he was a Klingon. Jordi just looked confused, which wasn't surprising given that his vizor was nowhere his sight. And certainly nowhere within his sight. This obviously caused Zaya some concern, since it meant that Jordi had been making random use of his lazer eyes, and might well have been able to escape, had he the ability to actually aim these shots. Jazz agreed that this was unfortunate, even as he attempted to stuff the vizor back into his jacket. However, this did not go unnoticed, and thus the DJ was eventually forced to relinquish the vizor to Jordi. Upon having his vision returned, the engineer was quite surprised to find himself in prison.
Recalling the purpose of this visit, Zaya asked Picard about the nature of his treachery. Of course, this only prompted Picard to declare that he would be delivering a report on the whole thing in four to six weeks. This earned him a poke from Rei's mop and drawn swords from Ginzu. Aside from probing Picard's motives, the heroes were also interested to know what other supporters Picard might have had on the station. Picard was quick to proclaim that every single officer of note on the station secretly supported his bid for command, and would gladly helped him overthrow some young upstart. Evidently feeling a bit insulted, Zaya reminded Picard that this 'upstart' had gotten a better result on Starfleet's officer training exam. Picard's response displayed the more emotions than any other statements he had made. Grinding his teeth, Jean-Luc declared that Captain Kirk had cheated and switched their exams, thus explaining the subpar marks he had received. All this pettiness aside, Rei wanted to know whether Picard had any Spheran connections. The answer was a negative, and Picard declared himself absolutely loyal to Starfleet. Even the pressure of numerous flashlights being directed on him couldn't sway his opinion. Finally, Morton asked the station's former Number Two what he knew about Fayde. This turned out to be very little, as the Electran had mostly dealt with Commander Zaya. Redirecting these questions to her proved futile, however, as Zaya declared that the contents of the science lab reserved for Fayde were strictly confidential. Declaring the interrogation of Picard done, Zaya noted they would have to promote some new officers to fill the ranks, and invited the heroes to help her choose these replacements.
This semi-formal promotions committee met in the briefing room about one hour later. Aside from the heroes and Zaya, it also included Falco and Sam, two of the few remaining senior officers on the station. Even before the meeting officially begun, Jazz was already lobbying hard to be the station's Number Two. Commander Zaya managed to disuade him of such a notion by reminding him of the importance of his role as the DJ. In truth, Zaya felt that they would not be able to find anyone with both the experience and free time to serve as the station's number two, and thus they would just have to wait until Starfleet sent them a replacement for the post. The jobs that were actually up for grabs included chief of security, chief engineer and science officer. Zaya currently had a list of two possibilities lined up for the security portfolio, and they included both Adolfus Grizzby of the Virginia Grizzbys and Jamal. Ginzu mentioned the idea of giving the post to Ethnic Friend, otherwise known as Tintin, but was quickly overwhelmed by the inherent humour of Adolfus' name. Sam also seemed to find it quite amusing, but also offered himself as a candidate for the job. Judging that Sam was far too busy, the group settled on Adolfus Grizzby, mainly because of the fact that he was one of the Virginia Grizzbys. Finding this to be a source of endless amusement, Ginzu promptly suggested Grizzby for both of the other posts. But despite his funny name, the science portfolio was given to Diego Zapata and Gaston was reluctantly designated the new chief engineer.
With all this settled, Zaya got on to the second order of business. Before his treachery was uncovered, Vance had told the Commander of a proposed meeting between Morton and the Transporter on Batoche, an independent mining colony on one of the asteroids. This would be a good opportunity for the station to finally gain a supply of real Falcon-X missiles. Of course, getting them would require Morton to leave for Batoche immediately. Although officially independent, Zaya was completely aware that the Spherans considered themselves the owners of the entire asteroid belt. As such, this could probably be considered enemy territory. As such, Jazz, Rei and Ginzu would accompany him for backup. Zaya also would've liked to send Johnny on the mission, but had to reluctantly conclude that his piloting skills might be needed to protect the station. As a mere janitor, Rei didn't feel that this was really in her job description, but she had to admit that her skills weren't really geared towards defending the station from assault. That said, Zaya suggested they get some rest, as the away-team would be departing for Batoche early the next morning.
Personal Notes:
-Going to this Batoche place isn’t exactly your idea of a good time. You don’t know much about it, but you’ve heard that it’s some sort of asteroid mining camp. And that can’t be anything but filthy. Still, your mop was up to the task of cleaning up Vance’s evil, so you have no doubt that it can handle the mangy ruffians that might inhabit such an uncivilized mining camp.
-Still, the station is awfully isolated. A supposedly independent mining camp will surely be a great place to pick up certain supplies. In particular, you have your mind set on the Days of the Week seventh season Special Edition DVD, complete with extra never before seen scenes, one of which supposedly shows Mr. Foo’s face. Such an item would be impossible to obtain in the middle of a war zone, but you just might be able to find it on Batoche. After all, miners need to have some form of entertainment to relieve the boredom and monotany of their lives. And soap operas are the perfect solution.
-You’ve also heard rumours about the chief administrator of Batoche. Local legends claim that this man is some sort of misunderstood hero, but others you’ve spoken to are convinced that he’s nothing less than a madman. Whichever is actually the case, there’s no doubt that this man is complicated.
Mini-Objectives:
-Obtain the Special Edition Days of the Week DVD.
Personal Notes: Mini-Objectives:
-You always knew that Jean-Luc Picard wasn’t on the level! No part of the bureaucracy can be anything but petty and evil. Fortunately, like Captain Kirk, you never confine yourself to the Starfleet book, and you’re a better man for it.
-Finally, you’ll be able to even the score with the Transporter. And get your hands on some Falcon-X missiles. Jazz professes not to use missiles, but you’ve always known that real men like big explosions. Of course, the Transporter has proven himself to be crafty in the past, so you’ll have to pose as a legitimate customer until you can get close to the package. Then you can lay a smackdown of vengeance on your foe.
-It’s unfortunate that this meeting had to take place on Batoche. You’d much rather take a trip back to the Terrorian Barbecue on Starbase, even if it might mean meeting Chris Tucker again. Despite being supposedly ‘independent’, you know for a fact that the Spherans consider the entire asteroid belt to be their territory, and you highly doubt they would let any unauthorized mines operate within it. Which means that this is enemy territory. You’ll just have to hope that this war has been kept so secret that even the Spherans on Batoche won’t know about it.
-Meet with the Transporter and get some real Falcon-X missiles.
Personal Notes:
-Now not only have you saved Zaya’s life, but you’ve also saved her career with Starfleet. Aow! She really owes you big time! And you probably saved Rei at some point there too, though attempting to ‘borrow’ her TV might not have endeared you to her. But that was a necessary cost for watching Undercover Brother.
-More importantly, you’ve heard that the City People have just released a new album. It’s called Soul of the City, and it’s already topping the galactic charts. You can’t wait to spin that disc! Unfortunately, Doug’s shop won’t be getting it in for several weeks. And even when it comes in, it’s sure to be way over-priced. So it’s a good thing that you’re part of the away-team going to Batoche. A burly mining base is sure to feature the latest and greatest of the City People’s music.
-If the radio is to be believed, Batoche is also quite the tourist attraction. It supposedly has an awesome audio/visual show about some rebellion that happened there a while ago. You’re gonna have to check it out, man. Because you just can’t resist anything that has good audio.
Mini-Objectives:
-Get a copy of Soul of the City, the City People’s new groovy album.
Personal Notes:
-That sneaky Samo Hung was no match for you! Even his confusing shouts and claims that you should be using plastic weapons didn’t stop you from taking him down, for great justice! If he was an honorable opponent, he should realise his defeat and yield. But instead, when you returned to your room last night, you found one of his knives thrust into the side of your bed. Why would he stab a bed when you weren’t even in it? Either he’s just plain mean, or extremely confused. Much like you.
-It looks like you’ll be accompanying the away-team to this place called Batoche. Some might find it strange that a certified chef would be venturing with the Starfleet team into almost certain danger. But you’re quite sure that this Batoche doesn’t have a Warchon Wok, and you wouldn’t want your new companions to starve. Even more importantly, you wouldn’t want them to eat any of this poutine stuff. That stuff doesn’t look safe for human consumption. You’re certainly quite sure that it wouldn’t be able to pass a food inspection by the IFIA. As such, it deserves to be destroyed.
Mini-Objectives:
-Destroy any poutine that the group comes across, preferably before it’s been eaten.
It's been a while since I've included this feature within a summary, but to satisfy the public's growing demands, I've decided to do so here. This is Mr. Rhyze's true report from Adventure 28: The Fast and the Furious. It was one of the more pivotal adventures for the crafty communications officer. I hope you enjoy this special re-released report, complete with never before seen paragraphs!
Work log: Most communications these days are about the upcoming Kessel Run. You’re not interested in spaceships at all, despite the fact you’re often forced to fly one. As such, racing ships holds no attraction for you. On the bright side, every person who goes to this event is one that can’t be giving you work to do. As far as you’re concerned, this should practically be considered a holiday.
Incoming Transmissions:
-Although you may be on break from your communications duty, your other job continues to grow more intense. Your most recent transmission from Virgil was extremely worrying. He told you that Vandred knows far too much, and must be eliminated. Apparently, it’s up to you to take care of that task.
-While searching for Blitzball news, you happened to flip through some channels discussing the Kessel Run. This year’s event is being held at a small, specially built station bordering the asteroid belt and the dark sun Dagos. Winning the Kessel Run is likely the most prestigious achievement for a pilot, and the cash prize is considerable. In addition, since the event is held in space and thus a grey legal zone, gambling on this event is highly encouraged. You did enjoy being a player on Gangsta’s Paradise, but you’d still much rather play Free-cell. Most pundits seem to think that Yoshi, a Chalchakian pilot known for his lack of vocabulary and incredible acceleration, is going to win the event. You doubt that Johnny agrees with this assessment.
Personal Notes:
-Your Red-Shirt video is already a classic, and it hasn’t even been edited yet.
-Jet’s goaltending skills have surely improved since the time you played him in Yankees’ Stadium. He was still no match for your shooting power, but you have to admit that he could surely teach Keepa a thing or two. It might not be a bad idea to convince Keepa to mark Jet so that he could learn the Hundred-Hand Stop. This would seriously improve The Replacements’ playing ability.
-You’ve got to convince as many people as possible to attend the Kessel Run. You’ve noticed that you tend to get into a lot more combat situations with people like Morton around. Surely sending those people off to this race will reduce the work for you. It will also improve your standings with your commanding officers, since you’ll be one of the few people ‘dedicated enough’ to remain at your duties. Reducing the number of potential witnesses will also help with your other assignment.
-Virgil didn’t give you many details on how you’re supposed to kill Vandred, or even on what information he’s managed to uncover that could be so damaging to your position. You’ve decided to get further details from him, and are just now initiating a secure communications channel. (After reading this report, claim that you need to ask me some questions outside the room and we’ll settle this live.)
Mini-Objective:
-Convince as many people as possible to go to the Kessel Run.
-Assassinate Vandred.
The next morning found preparations for the departure already underway. Morton was preparing his Falcon-X for takeoff, despite Falco's protests that he should be taking the Drakhaan. Jazz's intense preparations likely involved only restocking the orange soda dispenser in his Disco Inferno. Although the DJ invited Rei to ride in his ship, he was forced to confess that the backseat (not that Heatwaves usually have one) had been converted into the orange soda dispenser. As such, it seemed that Rei would be riding in the APC with Ginzu, who was happily declaring that they needed to launch all Zigs between chuckles about the Viriginia Grizzbys. This harmonious departure was somewhat disturbed by the presence of Johnny, who was leaning against the Vesper and making comments about how boring Batoche was sure to be. He also offered Rei a ride in his Falcon, since it could comfortably fit two. Of course, since he wasn't going on the expedition, this suggestion wasn't overly productive. Nor were his cuts against Batoche, maintained Jazz, who declared that the audio/visual show was apparently extremely impressive. And with the beach they had on Batoche, the place was always crawling with young women. The Man seemed a bit skeptical about this, declaring that mining camps didn't tend to make good attractions. Besides, with Jazz gone, he would be able to spend lots of quality time with Zaya. Clearly annoyed by his rival, Jazz declared that it was time to go, and after a quick message from Zaya, the team did just that.
Once in LSD, Rei began cleaning up the clunky APC, noting that it had clearly not been scrubbed in quite some time. Ginzu and Morton were still chortling about the station's new chief of security, with Sam occaisonally joining in via the radio. Jazz was busy doing some flancy flying, which seemed to mostly involve spinning around the Buick, while not spilling a single drop of his orange soda. After about two hours of such flight, the ships were forced to come out of LSD due to the proximity of Batoche. By this point, it was also within visual range. The mining colony was spread across the surface of an asteroid, and seemed to consist mostly of wooden shacks. The whole base was covered by a large dome, doubtless to contain the work of the atmospheric generators. A large flag was raised above the colony, proudly proclaiming it Batoche and featuring a picture of some rustic miner shooting a rabbit. As the heroes took their first look at their destination, they also noticed a large, ponderous ship approaching it from another direction. It appeared to be a very large passenger vessel, and the name on the side of it identified it as the Ferry. It looked like a very fun ship indeed, and all members were suddenly struck with the intense desire to ride this ferry. The mere sight of the Ferry would almost certainly prove to be the highlight of the whole visit. Spinning over to this ship, Jazz hailed them to ask if he could bring his ship onboard. Unfortunately, the Ferry's Quebecois captain claimed that they couldn't load new ships in midflight. But he was pleased to hear from some tourists, and welcomed them to Batoche. Despite what they might have heard, he assured them that it was a safe tourist destination, and that there hadn't been a revolution for a long time. This wasn't particularly heartening, was especially to Ginzu, who was appalled to learn that Poutine would surely be waiting to greet the travellers.
Upon being granted clearance, the heroes made for Batoche's only landing area: The Hudson Docking Bay. This bay was already crowded with ships, though most of them appeared to be transport and cargo vessels. In fact there didn't seem to be any military ships at all. The inhabitants of Batoche seemed to fall into two distinct, yet equally drunk groups. The first consisted of rugged miners, dressed in animal leathers and wearing the obligatory raccoon hat. Most of these were armed with RD-51 rifles, and seemed totally unafraid to fire them off at random while making loud, french exclaimations. The second group included big, burly, hairy bourcherons, dressed in plaid, jeans and tuques. These folks tended to carry large axes over their shoulders, and were known to break into random song and dance with the vigour that only artery-clogging Poutine could grant. Aside from the heroes, the only people not conforming to these groups were the pair of gray-uniformed Spheran soldiers questioning everyone who approached the bay's only exit. As they made their way towards this exit, the heroes were welcomed by an enthusiastic group of miners, who were very surprised and happy to see tourists on Batoche. This welcome mostly involved giving them all their Quebecois names, which seemed to merely be their normal names with a French pronounciation. Except for Morton, who somehow became Mouton.
These 'fake' identities proved to be an asset when facing the Spheran soldiers. The use of Jazz's digital camera also helped to support their tourist guise. The Spherans still had some routine questions, such as where they had come from. Jazz was quick to claim that he had come from Lorac, and had met Rei over the internet. Ginzu was also the target of several questions, as Warchons were a definite rarity in this part of the galaxy. His Warchon Wok apron seemed to attract a lot of attention, and a whole crowd of angry miners and boucherons gathered around the group, declaring the Wok to be an evil chain that was somehow attempting to crush their culture by refusing to serve Poutine. Before the dispute could come to violence, Rei decided to clean things up by whiting out part of Ginzu's apparel, leaving him with the words War on Wok. In this way, Rei could explain that Ginzu was also against the restaurant chain. This seemed to pacify the miners. Breathing sighs of relief, the Spheran soldiers declared that most people around Batoche were all talk, and that they only need come visit the Spheran authorities if they encountered any trouble. They were also advised to be careful for another reason. Just recently, there had been a jailbreak from Batoche's prison, and a master criminal being held there had escaped. The exact identity of this fiend remained a mystery, but the Spherans urged caution all the same.
Once within Batoche, the four quickly made their way past the Lodge, the Audio Visual Display and the Spheran Headquarters in search of the Trading Post. They eventually found this rustic building, decorated with various random knick-knacks. In the process, Morton also traded his Tuskan Musket for a miner's RD-51 rifle. There were about a half dozen bucherons gathered outside the trading post, drooling at a giant poster advertising Poutine. Instantly angry, Ginzu vowed to destroy disgusting image. Borrowing some of Rei's white duct tape, he quickly engaged his windwalk and began taping over the Poutine. The bucherons were shocked and enraged that someone was apparently eating the Poutine they had so often unsuccessfully attempted to consume. It didn't take them long to accuse the Spherans. Meanwhile, the others had entered the wooden building in search of several rather specific items. To this end, they sought the aid of the man behind the counter, which may have been a grave mistake indeed.
Sam Blacksmith
Rei first asked whether Sam had any videos for sale. In a lonely mining camp, surely watching videos was one of the most popular, and only, forms of entertainment. This was true, but Sam's selection didn't at all fit in with what Rei had in mind, and included such films as Cavedwellers, The French Revolution, The American Revolution and The Russian Revolution. When asked about the Days of the Week DVD, Sam quickly grew belligerent and pulled a rifle on the janitor. He claimed that no beefy Metis would admit to watching or stocking any such thing. But for the right price, he was willing to direct her to the only man on Batoche who was hardly a man at all and might have what she was looking for. In a surprising move, Morton traded his recently-acquired rifle for this information. Judging this to be an appropriate deal, Sam whispered to them the location of a wooden shack owned by a poet/composer named Paul Piche, and warned them not to repeat his name where others might hear. As a wussy, he was ostracised by the general community, and rightfully so. By this time, Jazz had found the CD he was looking for, and traded his one of his Chinese Lanterns for Soul of the City. Sam had nothing but good things to say about this disc, and noted that the only special gold editions he had possessed had been bought by an unfamiliar miner with a mule. Intrigued by this gold edition, and its promise of a special bonus track, Jazz vowed to track down this fellow. The group was now ready to leave the trading post, though not before Morton purchased a copy of Bort's latest CD.
Please proceed to page two of this adventure to explore more of this great tourist attraction.
Race: Metis
Occupation: Owner of Batoche's only trading post on
One of the few Metis without a french accent, Sam Blacksmith seemed to be both a cunnng entrepreneur and a great shot. In truth, these two skills might have been somewhat related, especially given the fact that he kept many guns behind the counter of his trading post. Sam's skin was darkly tanned, and his black hair was long and braided. He wore a mixture of leather and plaid, and talked with a stereotypical Canadian accent. Like most Metis, Sam believed he had an ancestral right to mine the asteroid, and was opposed to Sphere's permit system. He wasn't, however, opposed to using untraditional mining techniques, such as snowmobiles. Although less obnoxious than Doug, Sam still didn't quite seem to know any rules of consumer service. However, he did believe in the bartering system as a means of exchanging goods and services, and was even willing to trade information in just such a manner.
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