Adventure Overview
Players: Morton, Ginzu, Rei and Jazz.
Enemies: Louis Riel, his Metis, Gangsta' #1, the Devil in the Dark and more.
Started: As the heroes attended recovered from the battle with Vance.
Ended: With the escape of the nefarious Gangsta' #1.
As Rei, Jazz and Morton left the trading post, Ginzu had just reappeared after completely covering the Poutine poster with white tape. The boucherons were still shocked by this act of vandalism, and decided they would have to report it to le Chef right away. Eager to meet the man behind all this Poutine, Ginzu offered to come along. Morton was also interested in meeting the boss of the camp, mainly because it would mean that he wouldn't have to be associated with the wussy Paul Piche. With the crowd of belligerent boucherons clearing the way, the two heroes were soon escorted into Fort Carlton, the command center of Batoche. On the way there, they passed by a ruined wooden structure that had apparently once been the prison, before the mysterious jailbreak. Some miners and Spheran soldiers were arguing nearby, apparently about whether they should repair the prison with wood or metal. Fort Carlton was also built entirely of wood, with a large wooden wall and authentic mosquitos that were apparently essential for the atmosphere. And very annoying, as well. Doubling their pace, the two heroes soon found themselves ushered into the interior wooden structure. After walking past a kitchen from which the greasy smell of Poutine eminated, they found themselves facing the chief administrator of Batoche, who was seated at a rustic desk with a self portrait hanging right behind him.
Louis Riel Ginzu was not at all pleased to see the plate of Poutine sitting on Riel's desk. Riel, on the other hand, didn't seem to be pleased to see them. The bucherons quickly explained what had occured to the Poutine poster, and recounted their suspicions that the Spherans had somehow eaten the picture in question. Then they waited for Louis' judgement, assuring the heroes that as an educated lawyer, their boss would know exactly what to do. Between puffs of his pipe, Riel declared that the food on the poster wasn't real, and thus couldn't be eaten. But he did agree that it had probably been the work of the Spherans, and declared that they would soon be rid of those pesky outsiders. Taken a bit aback, Ginzu asked where all the Poutine was being made. Since Poutine was an integral part of Batoche's culture, Louis declared that it was being made all over the camp. Upon learning that the two were tourists, Louis suggested they go down to the lodge to see Gabriel Dumont and his bucherons perform their popular folk music. Apparently, the subject matter of these songs usually included casting a noble light on Riel, which was something the Metis leader greatly approved. He also warned them not to choose the 'wrong' side when thing came to a head, and sent them off before they could question him on this rather unsubtle hint.
Race: Metis (Chalchakian)
Occupation: Administrator of Batoche and Revolutionary
A man of great controversy, Louis Riel was considered by some to be a misunderstood hero, while others simply thought of him as a madman. Whatever the case, he was a real revolutionary. As the leader of the Metis people of Batoche, he believed his people had an ancestral right to the asteroid belt, and he wasn't at all pleased with the Spheran government's attempt to regulate the mining. In fact, he was often prone to declaring his plans for a violent revolution, that would turn Batoche into a truly independent planet in its own right. He had apparently tried just such a thing at some point in the past, and the Spheran authorities were now watching him carefully to see that his fierce words didn't become actions. Riel truly looked like the leader of his people, with wild dark hair, a mustache and fur clothing. He carried a trusty rifle at his side, and a pipe and Poutine were never far from his hands. In addition, he was one of the few Metis with any sort of education, and his followers were extremely proud to relate that he was actually a fully qualified lawyer. Recently, rumours had begun to circulate about a mysterious adviser that had taken up with Riel, and that his talk of revolution had only grown more vehement as a result. But his people would never see him as anything other than a great, if sometimes misunderstood, hero.
As Jazz and Rei were heading back across Batoche for their visit with Paul Piche, they happened to notice about a dozen suspicious figures walking past the audio/visual display. The most noticeable thing about these figures was the fact that they were wearing, heavy bulky jackets, and it looked like something was concealed underneath, perhaps like a backpack. Jazz tried to use the digital camera to see their faces, but ended up only snapping pictures of Rei instead. Taking the camera from her companion, Rei was able to see that they had sullen, unshaven faces, thus disproving the fear that they might be Red Wings. Still, not wanting to attract any undue attention, the heroes kept moving until they found themselves in a relatively abandoned section of the camp. This was the domain of Paul Piche, and they could see his wooden shack, distinct from all the others mostly because of the curtains and carpeting. After some knocking, the door was opened by the man who could only be Paul Piche.
Paul Piche
Paul was very pleased to have visitors, and greeted them with a deep uttering of Grenouille! Jazz was ashamed to even set foot into Piche's shack, and found to his dismay that the interior was just as wussy as he had feared, with wallpaper and swishy French music. Paul, however, seemed impressed with Rei's poetic abilities and her desire to obtain the Days of the Week DVD. Not many people in these parts were willing to admit the quality of soap operas, and Jazz couldn't blame them, but Paul did. Unfortunately, while he had many seasons of the Old and the Rested, he had just given his Days of the Week Seventh Season special DVD to a miner with a mule. This fellow had apparently been preparing for a long period in the mines, and a softy like Paul couldn't resist giving him something to do in those long, lonely hours. Piche couldn't remember for sure, but he thought that the miner had been heading for the south mines. Not that he knew where those were. Determined to find this information, Rei and Jazz departed, though not before receiving an Aurevoir, Lucien Bouchard from Paul Piche.
As fate would have it, the four heroes met up outside the Lodge. Ginzu had come to destroy a source of Poutine, and Morton seemed content to follow his ethnic comrade. Once inside the rustic building, they found many miners seated at tables, tapping their feet to the music of four boucherons with accordions and a man with a guitar. Thanks to Riel's rant, they already knew the identity of this man.
Gabriel Dumont
The crowd was cheering Gabriel on as he spouted drunken verses about Louis Riel's greatness. Attempting to avoid this questionable entertainment, the heroes approached the beefy barkeep to ask some questions. Ginzu quickly determined that the Poutine was being made in the kitchen, and proceeded to investigate. Morton, Rei and Jazz were more interested in the southern mines, and discovered that they could be reached via an elevator near the southern edge of Batoche. However, they were warned that the underground mines were dangerous at the moment. Several miners had been found dead, their bodies badly burned. Such a thing had not yet occured on the surface of the asteroid, but since surface mining required a spacesuit, it was much more inconvenient than the tunnels. At this point, Gabriel strode up and joined the conversation, demanding as he did that Morton bring him some booze in his pickup truck. Ignoring the confused reaction to this statement, Dumont went on to add that the dead miners were surely the work of the despicable Spherans, attempting yet again to crush the free will of the Metis. This served as the cue for the entrance of two Spheran soldiers and their leader.
Vylarr
Race: Quebecois
Occupation: Poet/Composer
Paul Piche was immediately distinguishable from all other inhabitants of Batoche mostly due to his swishy fashion sense. As opposed to the furs and plaid of his colleagues, Piche wore a blue sweater and slacks. His dark hair was carefully style, and flecked with silver. As the camp's only poet and composer, Paul had a monopoly on all wussy things, such as soap operas, poems and sappy French music. Aside from peddling in these articles, he was also known for spouting out random French words regardless of the situation and trying to bring out the artsy side in everyone he met. This alone likely explained why he tended to live an isolated existence on the rugged mining camp of Batoche.
Race: Chalchakian
Occupation: Folk Singer
Gabriel Dumont was the frontman of a very popular local folk ban, predictably entitled Gabriel Dumont and the Boucherons. He was also one of Louis Riel's most fervant supporters, and could be counted on to sing praises of his leader at almost any sort of opportunity. Gabriel also had a guitar, although saying that he knew how to play it might have been going too far. In fact, his singing mostly consisted of drunken slurring and demands for booze. Like his bucherons, Dumont was a rather hairy man, with a thick, wiry black hair and a tuque. He wore red plaid, jeans and had a checkered scarf flung around his neck. Aside from eating Poutine and singing, he also enjoyed accusing anyone present of being Davy Crockett, and other, less kind words. He was also prone to blaiming the Spheran authorities for anything amiss on Batoche.
Race: Spheran
Occupation: Commander of the Spheran forces on Batoche
Sergeant Vylarr was the highest ranking Spheran officer on Batoche, and as such it was his job to keep order in the rowdy mining camp. As an officer in the conventional Spheran military, it was also his duty to disperse mining permits to the Metis and to ensure that all the ore produced was sold to the Spherans for marketing to the rest of the galaxy. Naturally, this made Vylarr rather unpopular amongst the locals. He didn't look much different from a generic Spheran soldier, with only a few crests on his gray uniform to denote his rank. Vylarr also had long blond hair, streaked with silver, and carried a pair of PK-43s at his belt. Although he seemed polite and respectful to the visitors, they instantly suspected his name was a subtle hint of his villainous nature.
Vylarr had heard that some tourists had landed on Batoche, and had come by to extend a greeting to them. He also greeted Gabriel Dumont, although the latter complained that the 'Spheran dog' had mispronounced his name. This response didn't seem to faze Vylarr, and he quickly reassured the tourists that the people of Batoche were all talk, and almost no action. After urging them to be careful if they intended to explore the mines, Vylarr and his men took their leave. Before any more tension could erupt, Morton, Rei and Jazz hurried over to the elevator leading down to the southern mines. In the process, they passed by the Moosehead Club, one of the few major landmarks they had yet to visit. Unfortunately, some trouble was caused by the Spheran soldier guarding the elevator. When they told him that they merely intended to search for someone down in the mines, he explained that he had to search them for mining equipment, just to ensure that they wouldn't be performing this activity without a permit. Though he find no mining equipment to speak of, he did find the laser rifle that Morton had stolen from the Red Wings. Fortunately, the soldier didn't realise who the weapon had once belonged to, but he did know that laser rifles were illegal for civilians. Considering that they were tourists, the soldier declared that he would only confiscate the weapon, and wouldn't press any sort of charges. Not at all satisfied with this solution, Morton tried to rally a nearby crowd to get his gun back, but the Metis lost all interest when they discovered that the firearm in question was a laser weapon. In the end, Morton was forced to proceed into the mines without his favorite gun.
Meanwhile, Ginzu was attempting to teach the chefs in the lodge the true way to cook Poutine. This seemed to mostly involve cooking up some camel hump and eels, and claiming that they were a more valid incarnation of Poutine. As Ginzu had hoped, the initial taste fooled most of the sous-chefs, but the head chef was another matter. He declared that Wasabe was launching a direct attack on Quebecois culture. This literally stirred his followers into a frenzy, and they retaliated against Ginzu with axes and wooden spoons. Faced with such odds, Ginzu's only hope was to Wind Walk and disappear. After all the chefs had dashed out the door in search of their foe, Ginzu proceeded to trash the kitchen. That done, he quickly exited the lodge before his work could be discovered. His next target was the Club, but while heading over there, he noticed something odd at the Spheran outpost.
A Spheran soldier had just come running up to the building, and was now being admitted, apparently with an urgent message for Sergeant Vylarr. Curious, Ginzu used his invisibility to venture inside. The outpost was small, consisting only of some barracks for the soldiers and a command desk. Vylarr was currently seated at the latter, listening to the report of the puffing soldier. It seemed that a Spheran surveyor had been found dead in the mines, his body badly burned. The Spherans had apparently only half-believed the stories of the burned miners, but now that one of their own had been struck down, the matter was clearly being taken in a whole different light. Using his communicator, Vylarr quickly conferred with Louis Riel to see if the Metis leader had anything to do with this death. Riel informed him that he had not, though he seemed regretful that he hadn't played a role in the surveyor's death. Having ruled out the Metis, Vylarr ordered soldiers to bring the 'tourists' to him for questioning. One of them had been found carrying a laser weapon, which was certainly suspicious in and of itself. A horrified Ginzu watched as a pair of soldiers rushed out to apprehend his companions.
Down the tunnels, Morton was leading the search for the mysterious miner and his mule, whom Jazz suspected to be Frederique Hernandez and his mule, respectively. After a fair amount of tromping through the dark, the group stumbled upon the corpses of two miners, badly burned. They also began to hear some weird sort of slithering sound. It was almost enough to make Jazz jump into Rei's arms in fear - or something. In any case, the DJ almost didn't see the danger coming until it was too late. Which was hard, because the danger turned out to be a creature that looked rather like a giant mottled rug, and crawled right on top of Jazz, burning him badly with its searing skin. Morton responded with shots that seemed to have little effect on the Devil's burning skin. Fortunately, Rei's mop and Mr. Clean proved to be a potent combination against the devil, and as such she cleaned up the fight rather quickly. Brushing aside the remains of the strange creature, the heroes continued their search, and could soon hear a familiar song which beckoned them towards their objective.
It was one of the City People's signature tunes, YMCA, and it also served on as the special bonus track for the special gold edition of Soul of the City. Upon arriving in a larger cavern, the heroes found Frederique Hernandez leaping up and down as he watched some sappy show on a small TV. His mule stood nearby, idly kicking the wall in an attempt to dislodge some minerals. Once again, Frederique assured them that there was gold on this here rock, and he meant to get it. He had also misinterpreted both the City People album and the Days of the Week DVD, and had assumed the fact that they were gold editions meant there was actually some of the precious reasource hidden inside. Upon being told otherwise, he willingly traded both items for a few pieces of Irish gold that Morton had obtained long ago in Lucky's clover hunt. With their mission complete, the heroes quickly retraced their steps out of the mine. As fate would have it, they happened to encounter Ginzu as they were walking past the Moosehead Club, and he ushered them inside so they could talk about his recent discoveries.
As the four entered the authentic club, they could hear the cool tunes of a string bass being put through its motions. Jazz, Rei and Ginzu quickly occupied a table, and were soon snacking on the classiest snacks Batoche had to offer, including maple syrup, burdock and bacon. Morton, however, had spotted a familiar figure seated at the bar. It was the Transporter, and the pilot quickly went over to speak with him. Upon confirming that Morton was indeed Magnus Magnusson, the Transporter claimed to have brought a crate of Falcon-X missiles in his ship. Such a purchase would cost 200,000 marks, but the Transporter agreed to let Morton examine them first, even though he personally believed that you should never open the package. After accepting a hundred mark deposit, the Transporter told Morton to come visit his ship in about an hour, alone. This gave the other heroes a chance to visit the Audio/Visual center, and discover that the show was indeed closed, and had been for at least a month.
Morton had no difficulty locating the Transporter's ship. Upon stepping into the storage bay, he found the Transporter waiting amongst all the crates. One had been pushed into the center, and Morton could only presume that this was the Package he was meant to open. The Transporter quickly averted his gaze as Morton pried off the lid and inspected the missiles inside. They appeared to be entirely functional missiles. And there was more! Because he was such a high paying customer, the Transporter was giving him two packages for the price of one. Eager to discover the nature of this bonus, Morton pried open the second, only to have Sub-Zero leap out yelling something about a special delivery. Another crate burst apart to reveal Scorpion. Drawing out two PK-43s from his suit, the Transporter smugly declared that Morton should never have opened the package. A fierce battle quickly ensured, with Morton's autoblaster coming into full play. This eventually dropped both Scorpion and Sub-Zero, but the Transporter's Extra Fight Footage kept him in the battle, and Morton was on the verge of unconsciousness. That's when the two noticed that the ship they were fighting in was moving. In fact, it was flying right out of the Hudson docking bay. Furthermore, the metal door to the cockpit had been locked and bolted. This apparently wasn't the Transporter's doing, as he was no less shocked than Morton, until a face appeared on the communicator to explain this sinister trap.
Zorak
Zorak informed the pair that they were trapped in one of his flying timebombs, and would soon be blown apart with the ship. Apparently, the master criminal had set the ship on auto-pilot, and loaded it with explosives. And in spite of Morton's valiant efforts, and the Transporter's slightly less impressive ones, the door to the cockpit remained sealed. Until Space Ghost approached, on his famous Inviso-Power, of course. He easily smashed through the side of the ship and the door with his amazing power blasts. Morton and the Transporter both took deep breaths as Space Ghost turned the ship back towards Batoche and the sneering figure of Zorak standing in the docking bay. Laughing, the galactic hero wondered aloud if Zorak could take it as well as he could dish it out. Fortunately, Morton was able to disuade him from crashing the ship back into Batoche, since doing so would clearly kill a lot of people. Instead, Space Ghost merely flew them and the missiles to safety. Zorak had already escaped, but Space Ghost vowed to hunt him down, though not before asking Morton how things were going with the military. This naturally raised the suspicions of all the nearby Metis, and Morton found himself at gunpoint as he reloaded his Falcon-X with missiles. By the time he rejoined the others at the audio/visual center, he could already hear wild gunshots filling the air.
Race: Terrorian
Occupation: Master Criminal
Zorak was a master criminal who was briefly held in the prison on Batoche, but who quickly escaped from its wooden confines and left only wreckage in his wake. He was also a sworn enemy of Space Ghost, and was constantly using a matter intensifier to nullify the latter's patented Inviso-Power. When this didn't work (which was frequently), Zorak would often resort to ridiculous traps, usually involving hostages stuck in some sort of flying timebomb. Which was unfortunate for him, because he certainly couldn't take it as well as he could dish it out. In terms of appearance, Zorak would certainly stand out in a lineup. He looked rather like a large green insect, with bulbous eyes, yellow gloves, a blue vest and an irritating voice, which was perhaps his most devastating weapon.
Apparently, the much hyped revolution had finally begun. Metis were running around wildly, waving their weapons and singing French songs. The heroes tried to escape the violence, but found the space bay blocked by 50 drunk miners, who wouldn't let them leave without express permission from Louis Riel. As the heroes hurried back across Batoche to secure such permission, they passed by the Spheran outpost, where Vylarr and his men were being detained by dozens of angry Metis. It looked like the government forces might have trouble quelling this rebellion. Riel also seemed to think so. They found him behind the command desk of Fort Carlton, picking at his pipe and Poutine. He had no intention of letting them go; in fact, his advisor had told him that they were with the Deksiilan Starfleet. He wanted to use them as hostages, and force Deksiil to recognise Batoche as an independent planet before he would release his prisoners. Ginzu didn't like this suggestion, and demonstrated his dislike by smashing Riel's Poutine. Needless to say, this outraged the Metis leader, and he declared that Ginzu would find himself before a firing squad the very next day. To support this threat, he called in Gabriel Dumont and his four bucherons, who came dashing in through a back door.
The battle was on, and it was a bloody one. With the help of Ginzu's mirror image, the heroes were quickly able to down the four Bucherons. However, Dumont's heroic song seemed to puff up Louis Riel considerably, and his rifle dropped hero after hero. As a misunderstood hero, Riel was also quite difficult to hit. Dumont was a different matter, and despite restoring his energy with Poutine, he ended up going down to Jazz's furious blows. In the end, it was down to Rei against Riel, who was able to fully restore himself with a plate of Poutine. Things were looking grim for the janitor, but she refused to give in. In the end, however, it was the Poutine itself that was Riel's undoing. All that artery clogging fat finally cut up to him, and the Metis leader keeled over, moaning about his 'coeur'. The time had clearly come to leave. Rei could hear many footsteps approaching fast even as she woke up her companions. They quickly rushed out the backdoor, and Jazz used his elevator shoes to lift them over Fort Carlton's wooden wall. Outside the fort, the revolution seemed to have devolved into total chaos without Riel's educated leadership. This meant that no one was guarding the space bay, but unfortunately, the heroes found that their ships weren't among those parked in the bay. Questioning a nearby miner, they discovered that Riel's mysterious adviser would sometimes confiscate ships that suited his tastes. But the man had no idea where this enigmatic figure could be found.
Fortunately, Jazz did. He suspected the closed audio/visual display was actually the villain's hideout, and this proved correct. Furthermore, the four were able to follow one a man in a heavy coat into the theater, which also served as secret elevator down into the bowels of the asteroid. As the four followed this man into a large docking bay, they learned that the men in jackets were actually working for this mysterious advisor, and that they were loading the proceeds of their illegal mining onto a cargo train for shipment. Ginzu also spotted their ships further along in the hangar, but unfortunately they were unable to sneak to them without drawing attention. And in the process, they finally met up with the advisor himself. It was a familliar man in a black pin-stripped suit and a fedorah, known only as Gangsta' #1. After forcing them to jump for cover from his Hit and Run, Gangsta #1 ordered his followers to board their ships and take off. He followed his own advice, even he continued to fire random rounds from his autoblaster. Morton wasted no time in leaping in the Vesper and giving chase. Jazz had his back in the Disco Inferno, while Rei and Ginzu trailed in the APC.
As they blasted out into space, Morton could see that they were up against four ships: the convoy ship of stolen ore, Gangsta #1's Falcon a small ship that he didn't immediately recognise and Mallistayre the Red's Heatwave. There was no doubt that it was time to settle old scores, and Mallistayre wheeled his Red Baron around to confront Morton. Meanwhile, Jazz found himself facing the small ship that his computer identified as a Sandslider. Gangsta'#1 had just hired its pilot, and expected him to bring down the valiant heroes.
Java
In an amazing turn of events, Morton was able to destroy Mallistayre's ship in a single well-placed shot, though not before taking heavy damage from the Heatwave's missiles. With his rival dead, Morton turned his attention on the convoy. As such, he wasn't prepared for Gangsta' #1's Hit and Run, which seemed much more effective than the autoblaster move with the same title. Jazz was locked in intense combat with Java, and found that his opponent's try/catch statements seemed to catch all exceptions that Jazz could throw at him. Ginzu and Rei were using the APC's rotating laser to pound away at the convoy, but it wasn't enough. Before they could destroy any more of their foes, the ships reached LSD distance from the asteroid belt, and with a final Nya!, Gangsta' #1 and his followers escaped into the blackness of space, albeit without one of their best pilots. And with his newfound missiles, Morton felt confident that any future space encounters would surely be his to win.
Race: Jawa
Occupation: Space Pilot
Like most of his race, Jawa was a short fellow cloaked in a brown hooded robe. His orange eyes glowed from within the darkness of his hood. Unlike most of his race, he was also a crack pilot, and though his only galactic word seemed to be Houdidi, he was fully capable of sending text messages, usually threatening to compile his foes. His ship was small and swift, but somehow still very robust. And it was also entirely object-oriented. Java's API of attacks was large, and this made him an extremely versatile pilot. Although working as a mercenary, Java apparently considered it his racial duty to take on Morton Ragnarsson in space combat.
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