Adventure Overview
Players: Morton, Ginzu, Rei and Jazz.
Enemies: The Next Generation crew, Samo Hung and Vance.
Started: As the heroes attended a security meeting with Commander Zaya.
Ended: With the defeat of Vance.
This adventure began in Commander Zaya's room. The four heroes had been summoned for an urgent security briefing. Ginzu was more than a bit confused about his inclusion in such a group, but then he was usually confused anyway. With Blank gone for an estimated four to six weeks, Zaya explained that they were the only four she could really trust. After all, there were still rumours of Spheran traitors on the station, and there was no doubt that a murderer was on the loose. It was imperative that Admiral Thrawn's killer be found as quickly as possible, and the Commander was counting on the four heroes to see that this was done. Jazz was willing to go all the way for Zaya, but some of his companions were not so sure. Morton was also eager to take on a security role, figuring it would give a great chance to bust some heads. Rei, however, felt that this sort of thing wasn't really in her job description. As a janitor, she felt her duty was to clean up dirt, not villains. Zaya say it another way. This murderer was clearly a stain on the station's reputation, and a danger to everyone onboard. And it needed to be wiped out.
Now that everyone had agreed to help, including the ever confused Ginzu, Zaya filled them in on a bit of background. At the moment, the station had no one to replace Blank as the chief of security. As such, she was designating them all as temporary chiefs of security. As such, they would have access to all the security systems in their attempts to track down the killers. Blank hadn't had much time to make progress on the case, and had basically only ordered a search of the station. The rest would be up to them. Zaya wished them luck in their investigations, and warned them that this murderer was almost certainly both armed and dangerous. On this sober note, the group departed to their respective duties.
Work Log: You’ve had your work cut out for you over the past few days. The station really wasted away in your absence, but with some hard work and a great deal of Mr. Clean, you’ve almost got things back in order. But your work’s not nearly done. With Blank gone, your duties now include cleaning up corruption wherever it can be found. And nothing wipes out evil like a mop.
Cleaning Incidents:
-You’ve made big progress on the cleaning front, but there’s still work to be done. Although you’ve managed to clear the bodies from your boiler room, doing so has left a fair number of them lying in the station corridors. Despite the fact that you delegated Gulstamp with the task of moving them all to sick-bay.
Boiler Room Inventory:
(You’ve managed to recover a few of the items that were missing, but several key objects are still missing. And the boiler room just doesn’t feel right without them.)
-An old tape full of Pokemon episodes.
-Many rotting corpses.
-Some cool strobe lights.
-Candles, arranged in a vaguely demonic pattern.
-Some old engine parts.
-Your very old chair.
-Your big TV and VCR.
Missing Items of Note:
-Squirttle! You haven’t seen any sign of your favorite sidekick since your return to the station.
-A Pressure-Sprayer. Also serves as the ultimate water-gun.
-Some old knives. There used to be lots in there, but now there’s none
to be found anywhere in the boiler room.
Personal Notes:
-You’re pleased to have recovered your chair and television from this so-called Military Bay Lounge. It makes you wonder how much else they may have poached in your absence. Regardless, you won’t feel satisfied until you’ve regained all your most important items.
-Picard seems to have more respect for your abilities after you claimed that Kirk doesn’t employ a janitor on the Enterprise. This new esteem has resulted in you being sent to clean out the security desk. Apparently, Picard has brought in a new man to take charge of security. You’ve only met this fellow once, and he seemed rather scary. He was dressed in a yellow Starfleet uniform, but his forehead was wrinkled in a fashion that could suggest only a Terrorian deformity, although this Warf repeatedly claims to be a ‘Klingon’, and gets upset when you doubt his word.
Mini-Objective:
-Repossess all key items that you’re still missing.
-Discover who killed Admiral Thrawn and ‘clean them up’.
Work Log: The Drakhaan is almost ready to fly! Now that you’ve put the whole thing back together, it requires only engine parts before it can be considered space-worthy. But since you’ve now christened it Falco’s Ship, you see no reason why you should do any more work on fixing it up. Besides, while you’ve been busy welding together ships, Jazz and Johnny have been able to steal the spotlight as the machomen of the station. It’s nothing less than your duty to take it back.
Space Fleet Status:
-1 eXtreme Falcon-X known as the Vesper, reliably protected by The Club. Johnny has taken to calling it an XFX lately, though you’re not at all sure why. He seems to think that it’s ‘hip’ or something. Which the ship most definitely is, though not necessarily the nickname he’s given it.
-1 Thunderer belonging to Fayde, the only Electran remaining on the station.
-An APC known as The Buick, that is still tied to a Star Pteranadon corpse.
-Custom Falcon belonging to Johnny, also declared eXtreme. To the max!
-A flashy Heatwave called the Disco Inferno belonging to Jazz. Despite its lack of missiles, it managed to survive an encounter with Star Wolf and the Red Wings.
-The Drakhaan formerly known as the Flying Tank, and now declared to be nothing less than Falco’s Ship.
Military Supplies:
-11 ‘slightly-used’ Falcon missiles purchased from Crazy Sam.
-8 Heatwave missiles purchased from the GAP.
-4 Space-suits, one sized for an afro.
-2 Crates of dud Falcon-X missiles. Though you soon may get the refund you’ve been awaiting for such a long time.
News from Space:
-According to the grapevine, the Excelsior and its accompanying squadrons of fighters have engaged the Spheran Red Wings in several skirmishes along the edges of the asteroid belt. Although the cruiser hasn’t thus far been willing to brave the perils of the belt, you don’t doubt that it’s only a matter of time before it launches a strike on the main Red Wing base. The only downside to this is that there might not be any Spherans left by the time you get to the scene.
Personal Notes:
-It certainly took a while, but according to Vance, the Transporter has finally responded to the email message you sent him some time ago. Vance gave you a hardcopy of the message, with a side order of condescending remarks. Seemingly eager to cut another deal, the Transporter has invited you to meet him at an asteroid trading post called Batoche in just a few days.
-Despite their wimpy physique, Johnny and Jazz have been hogging the attention of all the women. Now you’re not quite the ladiesman that they are, but you can certainly hold your own. And your muscles alone should prove that! As such, you’ve got to take every opportunity to show up Jazz through use of your brute strength.
Mini-Objective:<
-Show up Jazz by showing off your muscles in random feats of strength.
-Discover who killed Admiral Thrawn, and bring them to justice, showdown-style.
Work log: Although it did end up damaging your armor, taking down the Scith was way cool, man. After all, without power, you couldn’t play any big shiny tunes over your subwoofers. And it also gave you the chance to save the station yet again. This is apparently all in a day’s work for the agents over at B.R.O.T.H.E.R. As such, you wouldn’t mind becoming an honorary member, since it’s surely a great way to pick up chicks. Or so Undercover Brother has told you.
Jazz’s Playlist: (Basically, a summary of the songs that you currently have on your WinAmp playlist. They quite accurately represent the current most popular and best trends to be found in the music industry).
-You’ve actually been listening to some news programs lately. To your surprise, there has been absolutely no mention of the war between Deksiil and Sphere. Both governments seem to be doing a pretty good job covering the whole thing up. You’re sure that Tintin would be outraged if he found out about this.
-The music world is abuzz with the latest scandal. Joey, the bad boy of N*Sync, has checked into a detox center to get over his drug addiction. This has apparently left many fans disillusioned. And angry, though not at N*Sync, oddly enough.
-Although you don’t usually care about any music that doesn’t have soul, you’ve been hearing a lot about a new folk group that has recently sprung up somewhere in this area. Known as Gabriel Dumont and the Bucherons, this group seems to be a real local favorite. This is in spite of the fact that their songs include only accordions and some rather drunken french lyrics of questionable quality.
Personal Notes:
-Although Undercover Brother isn’t quite the Kung-Fu master you’d thought he was, he remains your only link to B.R.O.T.H.E.R. and the CIA. Maybe if you impress him he’ll be willing to tell you more about this secret organization. Of course, while doing so, you have to be careful not to reveal his secret identity.
-You told Zaya you would stand by her the whole way, and you still intend to. Of course, she’s back in command now that Thrawn’s dead, so technically it’s your duty to follow her orders. But even if it wasn’t, you’d be more than willing to help. She’s relying on you to find the Admiral’s killer, and with your amazing education, you have no doubt that you’ll be able to succeed in this task.
-You saw another funky guy lurking around Bennigan’s the other day. At first you thought it was just Undercover Brother, but upon closer inspection, you noticed that this fellow was wearing brown robes rather than a trenchcoat, and an Armorian mask instead of a plain one. Did B.R.O.T.H.E.R. send a second operative to the station?
Mini-Objective:
-Impress Undercover Brother through any means necessary so you can learn more about the secret agency to which he belngs.
-Discover who killed Admiral Thrawn and bring them down with a half-loaf of Kung-Fu.
Work Log: No food has gone missing from the kitchen since the defeat of Darth Maul. Apparently, people have learned the appropriate penalty for stealing food. You don’t believe you’ll need to give second demonstration of this punishment. But it does go to show that security on this station is next to useless. That’s why it’s your duty to protect the crew of this station. You’re willing to take on any form of evil, ranging from your own countrymen to unsanitary cooking facilities and food poisoning. Epsilon will be safe so long as they have a Warchon Wok onboard.
Specialty of the day: (Warchon Wok’s policy involves serving only the freshest food, often cooked right before the unbelieving customer’s eyes. This section features some of the latest and tastiest Warchon recipes pioneered by the innovative sages over at Warchon Wok headquarters.)
-Camel’s Hump: Often referred to as ‘greasy stuff’, Camel’s Hump is in fact an authentic Warchon dish that comes served with a heaping helping of eel. Although most non-Warchons are initially disgused by this dish, they almost inevitably end up finding it kinda good after actually trying it.
-Talk About the Wok: (As a growing chain, Warchon Wok is often featured prominently in the news. As it should be. This section describes some of the more interesting stories that focus on this restaurant.)
-Rise of Poutine: Disturbing rumous have recently been eminating from Warchon Wok Headquarters. Apparently, the company is under heavy political pressure to offer a new product known as poutine. You’re not really sure what this stuff is, but it’s definitely not Warchon. And you’ve heard that it can also be deadly. As such, it doesn’t seem like the right kind of dish to serve at the Wok. Unfortunately, some political group that calls itself the Bloc Quebecois seems to think otherwise. It has even threatened to launch lawsuits, claiming that Quebec’s culture is being destroyed by the omission of its signature dish from the Wok’s menu.
Personal Notes:
-It seems that someone set Admiral Thrawn up the bomb. You never really got to know this man, but you still consider it your duty to discover the identity of his killer. After all, you are the hero of this age.
-Not only was Darth Maul part of the evil Scith, but he was also taking food from the kitchen. Which is a much more villainous crime. Still, you dealt with him in approved Warchon fashion, and it may not be the last duel you fight on this station. In fact, you’ve heard rumours that another Warchon by the name of Samo Hung has been seen around the station. Could this be one of the assassins sent from the homeworld to take out Warchon Wok? Only through a duel can you know for sure.
Mini-Objective:
-Defeat this Samo Hung in a Warchon duel.
-Discover who killed Admiral Thrawn, and bring them to great justice.
As usual, the action resumed in Bennigan's. This time, the pub was crowded with Red-Shirts, searching underneath chairs and tables, though it was unclear what exactly they were looking for. A few had already died while attempting to lift up one of the tables, so Morton decided to give them a hand. This also gave him a chance to show off his muscles by gorilla-pressing said table high above his head. Mostly ignoring this display, Rei and Jazz sat down with Jamal and Falco. However, the heroes could not help but notice the line of tourists waiting by Senor Nabob's coffee machine. Upon questioning one, they discovered that the tourists were being 'allowed' to work at Nabob's Coffee Plantation in exchange for allowing them to see Nabob's Giant coffeebean which was apparently an attraction highly praised by Nabob himself, and allegedly several guidebooks too. Rei didn't approve of this slavery, mainly on the premise that a plantation would surely make a big mess, but Nabob only laughed. With these slaves that he had tricked, production would surely double, cackled the evil coffeebaron. Surprisingly (or perhaps not so much so), the tourists paid no attention to this statement. As a peace offering, Morton offered Nabob two heavy sacks containing coffee beans. After sampling them, Nabob conceded that this vintage had been quite good. He agreed to the peace offering, provided Morton looked the other way from his operation. And killed that pesky Rei. The janitor disagreed with both of these terms, and Morton only agreed with the first. Still, considering that part of the deal sealed, the two seated themselves once more, whereupon they were served some camel hump, by Ginzu. Jamal was initially reluctant about trying this greasy dish, but Ginzu assured them that it was quite good, especially with eels. And so it turned out to be.
Undercover Brother strode into the pub at this point, surveying the chaotic scene with the zen-like calm that was such an important part of his disguise. Jazz was quick to appease Kung-Fu Master, though doing so would apparently involve getting him a snack, and picking up a sack of potatos that Lucky was currently struggling to move. Morton lept up for this second task, but the bag proved too heavy. Much like it did for Jazz, and in the end the two managed only to drop the bag on the unfortunate Lucky. Not much appreciating this mess, Rei jumped in and rescued the leprachaun from his potato prison. Kung-Fu Master was impressed by this, but noted that the true path to martial-arts mastery could only be found through providing him with Cheetohs. After all, it was an established fact that Chester Cheetah was one of the coolest mascots around. Eager to impress Kung-Fu master, Jazz raced into the kitchen in search of this salty snack. He found no trace, which wasn't all surprising, given that cheetohs could be considered neither Irish nor Warchon. The best he could do was to grab a box of Lucky Charms from a cowering Lucky. Kung-Fu Master was not displeased by this offering, but declared that he couldn't really consume it without milk. Considering the type of milk provided by Lucky, Jazz decided instead to sprint over to Doug's, where he found Morton already negotiating for a bag of Cheetohs.
While Morton and Jazz were racing to placate Kung-Fu Master, Ginzu was searching for the man known as Samo Hung. Figuring that such a suspicious person must have been spotted by security, Ginzu made his way over that department. To his surprise (and confusion), he found a strange man seated behind the security desk.
Warf Warf declared himself the security officer, in spite of Ginzu's garbled protests. And even the Warchon's certification couldn't convince the Klingon that Ginzu had been named a temporary security chief. Still, Warf was willing to assist Ginzu in his search, since the matter did seem to be vaguely security-related. Unfortunately, the former weapons officer had no real idea how to operate the security cameras. Instead, he merely challenged Ginzu to a vicious Klingon duel. Although tempted, Ginzu decided to wait until he found this mysterious Samo Hung before beginning any duels. But first, it looked like he would need to find the guy with the big head, who was apparently very smart. And his name was Jazz.
Meanwhile, Rei was on her way to Commander Zaya's office. Once there, she claimed that she needed access to all the rooms on the station in order to continue her search. Zaya was willing to grant such access, though only in a temporary fashion. She would be able to pick up a super-pass that would automatically expire at the end of the week. Zaya couldn't hand one out in her office, but assured Rei that Vance would be most willing to make one should she ask for it. In truth, Vance didn't seem to think it a very good idea, but then he admitted that most of Zaya's ideas weren't really very good anyway. Despite some high-brow elitism, Vance eventually handed Rei a super-passcard, though getting it required her to listen to Diego's history of computers and the abacus at length. Eager to interrupt Diego's rather lackluster lecture, Rei cut in to ask about progress on Grassmann's timemachine. Fortunately for the entire station, progress seemed to be very slow. Diego was still on the diagrams stage, which meant that he hadn't yet really done anything worthy of mention. And Grassmann was on the equally important, yet often skipped Getting Confused stage. In other words, a time machine would not be threatening the station for quite some time.
Race: Klingon (Terrorian)
Occupation: Temporary Security Chief
Warf was a very distinctive fellow, though not due to his clothes. He wore the standard yellow Next-Generation uniform, embellished only by a metal strap running across his muscled chest. No, he was more distinguished by his very strange, bumpy forehead, which wasn't at all concealed by his black hair and beard. In fact, it seemed obvious that despite being part of Deksiil's Starfleet, Warf was not actually Deksiilan himself. His deformity actually made it quite obvious that he was Terrorian, although Warf would become furious if this was ever mentioned. He claimed to be something called a Klingon, although no one else knew what Klingons were or where they actually came from. Regardless, Klingon society was apparently fairly barbaric, and Warf was constantly challenging people to deadly duels with his crazy gladiator weapon. Having served as weapons officer aboard a ship commanded by Picard at some point in the past, Jean-Luc had decided to appoint Warf as the new chief of security now that Blank was gone. Any attempt to second-guess this policy could only be construed as discrimination against the Klingon race, or so Warf claimed.
Back in Bennigan's, Morton was impressing Kung-Fu Master with a bag of Cheetos, and Jazz was doing the same with a carton of milk. Both of these offerings seemed to please the 'old' master, and he now declared that they should be consumed while watching television. Unfortunately, the TV in the pub was both too small and constantly blocked by Jamal. As such, they would have to find another television and venue at which to watch it. Coming up with a brillant idea that surely could only come from his 'big head', Jazz raced raced from the room. Not wanting to be outdone, Morton followed, hefting Kung-Fu Master high above his head in another demonstration of his strength. Of course, it was impossible for the pilot to keep up with Jazz, even without this burden. As such, Jazz reached the turbolift far before his pursuer, and at about the same time as Ginzu Wasabe, who was still looking for him. Jazz promised to help Ginzu with the security cameras later, but claimed they first had some errands to run down in the boiler room.
Upon reaching the station's lowest level, the two found a trail of rotting corpses staining the floor. Apparently the remains of Faust's morgue, which was still being slowly moved up to Sick-bay by Gulstamp, sorceror of light. After hearing about the dangers of the lower levels, delivered in Gulstamp's typical shifting accent, the two finally reached the locked boiler room doors. Fortunately, Jazz happened to have a welding torch, and pulled it out to work its magic on the door. Ginzu could only watch in shock as Jazz pulled this Shaimus. After only a few moments of concentrated effort, a large hole had been burned through the door, and the two were able to gain access. Jazz was still claiming that no one would even know they'd been there when he noticed that the room wasn't entirely empty. In fact, sitting in Rei's favorite chair was a rather rotund Warchon with horrible dubbing. Samo, having apparently failed to notice the torch burning through the door, was just as surprised as Ginzu. Within moments, however, the Warchon chef had drawn out his blades, ready to take down the nefarious Samo Hung. Crouching behind the chair in a vain attempt to hide, Samo claimed that someone was trying to kill him. When he awoke this morning, he found one of his own knives stuck right above his head, clearly signifying both murderous motives and bad aim. Ginzu would have none of it, and finally lept to the attack when Samo offered to sell him some dangerous knives.
Morton and Kung-Fu Master entered the boiler room at this point. They had been delayed by an encounter with Johnny, during which the Iceman claimed to be just as cool as Chester Cheetah. After finally dispatching Johnny on a pointless search for Commander Zaya, the two had been able to reach their destination, and just in time for the battle. Rather than attempt to mediate the situation, Kung-Fu Master suggested they would have to prove the strength of their Kung-Fu while the rest watched. Preferably with popcorn. Ginzu had no Kung-Fu to demonstrate, but his swords seemed to work just as well, and within moments the flabby Samo was bleeding and tired. Of course, the confused martial-artists had tricks of his own; as the director of the fight, he would often yell 'Cut!' and berate Ginzu for attacking in an inappropriate fashion that wasn't mentioned in the script, thus totally confusing his opponent. And despite Hung's continual insistance that Ginzu should be using fake swords, his own knives were very much real. Still, Ginzu's wind-walk allowed him to come out on top in the end. Kung-Fu Master was surprisingly fast in retrieving the fallen knives, and Jazz was equally quick to grad the television and VCR.
Meanwhile, Rei was enjoying the use of her new security card. With it, she had been able to gain access to Morton's room for 'surprise cleaning'. Which really only inolved cleaning out Morton's pressure sprayer. After having reclaimed what she believed to be rightfully hers, Rei wandered back down to the boiler room, and arrived just in time to see Jazz attempting to hide the large TV in his jacket. Needless to say, this wasn't working so well. And Jazz's attempt to use his jetpack to escape also failed rather miserably. Although understandably upset that they had broken into her boiler room, Rei was must disturbed by this attempted theft, and quickly reclaimed her television. Kung-Fu Master succeeded in pacifying her by explaining that they only intended to watch a movie, and that she could see it too. And by giving her Samo's old knives. It turned out that Kung-Fu Master had brought the film called Undercover Brother, and Jazz was only too eager to watch it. Rei eventually agreed, though she was a bit put-off when Kung-Fu Master insisted on sitting in the only chair, claiming the others needed training and discipline to keep their backs straight, and only sitting on the floor could provide that.
The movie came to a rousing end some two hours later, leaving both Jazz and Kung-Fu Master greatly excited. The DJ couldn't resist making several barely veiled referances to the Brotherhood, and Kung-Fu Master's hypothetical responses were highly enthusiastic. Before the two could give themselves away completely an announcement courtesy of Mr. Rhyze's replacement invited the four heroes to meet Picard in his office. Although reluctant to leave Kung-Fu Master alone in the boiler room, Rei was assured that the former would be content merely watching Pokemon episodes. After all, Kung-Fu Master felt that Brock character was clearly awesome. As a bonus, the tape might serve as bait to summon Squirttle back to the boiler room. Once this was dealt with, the four heroes hurried up to Picard's office.
Jean-Luc was waiting for them, and seemed vaguely annoyed that they were four to six minutes late. Regardless, he demanded to know how their investigation was proceeding, since it was considered top priority by Starfleet. Having no real results to give Picard, Morton reacted by grilling the station's Number Two on the appointment of Warf as chief of security. After all, Zaya had decreed that the four heroes would be sharing that post, at least temporarily. Still perfectly calm, Picard responded that Zaya had only given them that position until a replacement could be found. Fortunately, Warf had happened to be on the station already, and with his previous experience and Klingon ancestry, he was an obvious choice for the job. Getting back to the topic at hand, Picard gave the group four to six hours to work on the case. After this deadline, they would meet with Picard and Warf in security to reveal their findings. If they had not come up with conclusive evidence to solve the crime, Picard would turn the investigation over to Starfleet, who would doubtless want to cut no corners in finding the murderer of an admiral. With a bureaucratic deadline now set, the heroes wandered out of Picard's office to begin their official investigations.
Please proceed to page two of this adventure to discover the identity of Thrawn's nefarious killer.
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