Adventure Overview
Players: Mr. Rhyze, Morton, Faust.
Enemies: Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Boshi, the Fat Man in the Speedo and Dracula.
Started: As Mean Gene arrived to comment on the arrest of Captain Falcon.
Ended: With the conclusion of the security briefing.
This adventure began on the Grand Prix station, moments after Guido had been locked in a closet. Morton, a somewhat vague Taylor, Tintin and Vin Diesel had returned to the scene of their battle with Captain Falcon. Black-garbed security officials were arriving on the scene to take away the beaten pilot. They were backed up by Mean Gene, who was providing some amazed commentary. He found the fact that Captain Falcon had been a drug dealer to be simply unbelievable, but conceded all the same that Falcon was an amazing athlete. This sort of commentary could have likely continued for quite some time, but Vin Diesel thought it was taking too long. He was growing both impatient and furious. As such, Mean Gene decided to get to the point. While Vin Diesel reloaded his rocket launcher, Mean Gene explained that Captain Falcon would necessarily be disqualified from the race, since he would likely be arrested. With Captain Falcon out of the Kessel Run, the runner-up from his heat would be bounced up to the finals. And that was Vin Diesel. This actually seemed to please Diesel, as he declared it extreme, and began flexing his muscles all over the place.
This fast flexing was interrupted by the surprising arrival of Faust. He had once again stowed on a ship, though he had not intended for it to take him anywhere. Upon Morton's questions on this topic, Faust explained that his morgue was short on freezer space, which was necessary both for the storage of corpses and his own sleep. As such, Faust had gone looking for a cooler environment in which to rest. His search had eventually brought him to the Milk Chocolate. This ship was necessarily equipped with some advanced cooling devices to keep all the chocolate onboard from melting. As such, it was the perfect place for Faust to take a nap. He had been awakened by the sounds of the ship being docked somewhere, and had emerged in the halls of the Grand Prix station highly confused. Tintin declared this a most unlikely story, and restated his opinion that Faust was not to be trusted. Vin Diesel agreed; Faust had taken far too long to tell his story. Fortunately, Faust was able to avert a rocket-caused disaster through use of his rollerskates and some mad stunts. Vin was quick to declare this extreme, and set up a ramp so he could do some extreme stunts of his own. As Vin wiped out on his rollerblades, Morton decided to head down to the docking bays. He had a difficult task in mind, and didn't want his scheme to be revealed by Vin's endless explosions. As such, after explaining to several security guards that he wanted to fix up his ships, Morton found himself wandering the private docking areas. He wasn't actually intending to check on his own ship, but rather intended to perform a 'check' on Yoshi's Green Machine. And this check invovled sabotage. However, Morton's plans were somewhat foiled by the fact that each of the racing ships had their own private docking areas. Yoshi's was locked. Just as Morton considered smashing down the door, he heard a mocking FWIPOW from behind. It was Boshi. The untrustworthy pilot made several comments about what he intended to do to Yoshi's ship before easily picking the lock on the door. Morton agreed with Boshi's plan, but added that he should also do something to Vin Diesel's ship. Boshi was more than willing to do so, and said that he would install a control in Morton's ship which would short out his opponents' engines. Joining Boshi in a FWIPOW, Morton waited outside while the work was done.
Extreme action was still going down at Vin's makeshift ramp. After even Frankenstein managed to skate past a wiped out Diesel, Vin expressed his anger by blowing up the whole ramp. This time, Tintin dashed away before the explosion, not eager to be caught in another of Vin's random shots. Noticing the late hour, Vin Diesel decided to go crash somewhere. In this case, it was almost a literal crash. Having been sleeping for the past several days, Faust decided that he needed no rest, and instead decided to spent the night looking for corpses. He met with success almost immediately. Checking in the nearby docking bay where the Epsilon team had fought Captain Falcon, he found the remains of the four goons that had been blown apart by Vin's explosive anger. Pleased with this find, Faust quickly collected the remains in his laundry bag and went looking for more. Diesel was also finding success, though of a different sort. He had run off to the Quality Inn, the station's only guest accomadations. The clerk certainly recognised him, and dove for cover behind the counter as soon as he stormed through the doors. Terrified, she begged him not to blow the place up, as he had apparently done the year before. Rendered furious by this delay, Vin stalked upstairs to take a room. In a frightened voice, the clerk asked if he wanted a room key. Vin replied that he already had a master key, that could open any door in the building. Patting his rocket-launcher, the extreme sports star took the elevator to the hotel's top floor in search of a Penthouse room. After blasting down a couple doors, and finding destroyed rooms that now appeared to be unoccupied, Vin finally ripped one of the doors of its hinges and stepped into a room that hadn't yet been wrecked by his rage. Propping the door in place, he went straight to the bed. Diesel was asleep moments later, rocket launcher at his side, and apparently millions of marks in his pockets.
Morton wasn't about paying for a hotel room, but he also didn't want to go with the Vin Diesel strategy, which involved a great deal of destruction. As such, he had decided to sleep in his Falcon-X. After all, he was well aware of the comfort offered by its interior, and this way he could be sure no tampering occured aside from that which he had instigated. In fact, the pilot had no trouble falling asleep in his favorite ship. Staying asleep, however, proved to be a good deal more difficult. Morton was awakened several hours later by the sounds of two men arguing outside his ship. The bay was extremely dark, so the pilot couldn't get a good glimpse out of the two speakers without the use of his flashlight, which would surely reveal his presence. Instead, he listened as one of the figures berated the other about some idea they had apparently used in the past, without any success. The first figure was quick to reply that he had a new idea, which was sure to work better. Though the first figure muttered something contrary under his breath, Morton's attention was more focused on the fact that someone knocking on the side of his ship. Moments later, a voice announced a special delivery. Apparently so special that it had to be delivered to a ship in the middle of the night? Morton no longer had any doubts about what was going on. Hoping to seize surprise, he opened the cockpit and lept out, autoblaster blazing, desperately trying to avoid what he knew was coming: a harpoon. He wasn't quite successful. Though he was struck by the harpoon, and told rather roughly to 'get over here', he did manage to avoid getting hit by a freezing blast from Sub-Zero. Still, the odds were two against one, and the assassins showed no signs of holding back.
Though things looked grim, Morton fought back with vigour. His next action saw a spray of bullets hitting both Sub-Zero and Scorpion. This round was Scorpion's turn to miss, while Sub-Zero hit with an excellent uppercut. Morton reacted by shooting Scorpion his handguns, dropping the yellow-masked assassin. Sub-Zero invited Morton to finish him, but before the pilot could come up with an appropriate fatality, Sub-Zero hit him with another uppercut, and declared it round two. Fortunately, Faust had still been wandering the corridors of the station in search of the dead, and had heard all the gunfire. He rushed to the scene, speculating that so many shots must imply the creation of new corpses for him to collect. He arrived in time to deal the finishing blow to Sub-Zero. Morton was amazed. He did not expect a mere mortician to be capable of such a feat. Most of the night had passed, but Morton hoped he could still squeeze in a few more hours of sleep to recover from these wounds. He allowed Faust to take custody of Scorpion and Sub-Zero, and after grinding off Morton's ship, the mortician took the beaten assassins to another bay, where he woke them up. His demands were simple; they would give him their souls, and he would let them go. Scorpion laughed and noted that he had lost his soul long ago. As such, Faust just let them leave, not even listening to Sub-Zero's dire promise of revenge. Vin had been asleep during this entire incident, but finally awakened when an unsavoury man tried to pick his pocket. Apparently, this petty thief had been attracted by the lack of a door to Vin's room, and the millions of marks spilling out of the sleeping star's pockets. Needless to say, Vin rewarded the crook with a few angry hook-punches.
By this time, morning had dawned in the Grand Prix station. Mean Gene set about announcing the day's main event, the final race for the Kessel Run. There was apparently still time to place bets, and to purchase an ice-cold Coca-Cola before the event began. This meant that the three pilots involved would have a bit of a chance to check over their ships before the race. Both Morton and Vin Diesel were quick to do so, and discovered that they would even have time to make some minor tune-ups before the race. This translated to a time of 8, which Vin Diesel used for an engine-test and a failed attempt to polish his Heatwave, The Fury. In what Diesel called a copycat technique, Morton also went for the Engine Check, but he decided to accompany it with some outlandish bumper stickers. Faust accomplished both of these maneuvers on his cell-phone, leaving with a very fast speed-dial. While doing these tuneups, Morton decided to check out the modifications made by Boshi. He found a new switch hooked up his cockpit, as promised, but also discovered a strange box wired into his engine. Vin Diesel found a similar box in his ship, and was prepared to blow it up, when Boshi showed up to ask them if their ships were all tested out for the big race. With a not-so-subtle wink and FWIPOW to Morton, Boshi wished them both luck in defeating Yoshi. As if they'd need it, with him helping them out. Vin Diesel ignored most of these allusions to foul play, and instead set about removing the mysterious box. However, he became suspicious when Boshi told him not to touch it. Slamming the pilot against the ship and threatening him with a rocket launcher, Vin demanded to know what he had done. Boshi looked to Morton for support, but his ally was more than a little suspicious by the presence of the box within his own box. Counting on Vin not to use his rocket launcher at such close proximity to his own ship, Boshi let loose a damaging FWIPOW and followed it up with some brawl. Furious, Vin responded with a couple hookpunches that took out the treacherous Boshi. By the time the two had disconnected the boxes from their engines, an announcement ordered the pilots to visit the observation lounge. The two were joined by Faust as they headed out of the mechanics lab, and were confronted by the following man.
Diablo After proclaiming his identity in a most dramatic fashion, Diablo addressed Faust in asking about the Book of the Dead. The guild had heard that it had been found on some remote space station, and was most intrigued. Diablo himself wanted to read this book, and offered to lend Faust some D&D rulebooks in exchange for the opportunity. Vin Diesel was growing impatient with this discussion, until El Diablo turned his attention to the fidgety extreme athlete. Noting the tattoo on Diesel's arm, Diablo proclaimed that it could only be the name of a D&D character! The crowd, which had naturally gathered during Diablo's dramatic speech, was shocked. Vin quickly denied any knowledge of Dungeons & Dragons, proclaiming it for geeks, and even hiding his tattoo with one arm for good measure. But when offered the rulebooks, he was the first to leap forward and grab them. Pulling dice from his pocket, Vin sat down on the floor and began up rolling a character. Diablo accurately deduced that Vin was making a barbarian with a big sword, just like all previous characters he had ever played. Though Faust was somewhat interested in the Monstrous Manual that Diesel had grabbed, he noted to Diablo that his interests were more towards the undead, rather then young children, and thus had to decline the offer. This angered El Diablo, and he declared that Faust would regret his decision. After doing so, Diablo surrounded himself in flame, and then quickly ran out of sight, almost giving the illusion that he had disappeared into thin air. Meanwhile, Vin had finished his character, who seemed to have all 18s in his physical stats. Any questioning of the rolling method used to get these numbers only enraged him.
Race: Loracian
Occupation: Necromancer and Dungeon Master
By his own admission, Diablo was a terrifying figure, able to strike fear into the hearts of all around him. As befit his occupation and title (that of El Diablo), he wore swirling red robes, flared gloves and a red mask carved into a demonic face, complete with curling horns. He also carried two significant items, including a large battle-scythe and a complete set of rules for the new edition of Dungeons & Dragons. In fact, Diablo considered D&D to be his game. He liked it to play it with young children, since they were easily attracted by the occult. Using Dungeons & Dragons, he could make them feel 'special', and draw them deeper into the dark world of El Diablo! As one of the leaders of the only Necromancer's Guild, which is apparently quite insane, Diablo seems to be an influential figure in both the 'satanic' world of D&D, and the galaxy of Spherus itself.
With Diablo's departure, the crowd began to flow towards the observation lounge. The protagonists followed them, and soon met up with other envoys from Epsilon, including Johnny and Tintin. Taylor was apparently backed up with orders, and likely wouldn't be able to process all of them for at least four to six weeks. And that was Picard time. Unlike the tailor, Johnny felt no compulsion to bet on a fellow crewmember, and instead place his money on Yoshi, the crowd favorite. Vin didn't think Yoshi had a chance, and bet a million on himself. Judging the prize for first place to likely be sufficient, Morton decided not to risk any of his money on a bet. Tintin naturally felt that the gambling profits were somehow fueling drug smuggling, and decided to investigate the matter rather than placing a bet. Once all the wagers had been made, Mean Gene invited the pilots to head towards their ships. Morton and Vin were quick to obey this situation, although Yoshi's amazing acceleration allowed him to get to the docking bays ahead of them. In a manner most reminiscent of Boshi's usual tactics, Morton asked Yoshi whether he had checked his ship that morning. Yoshi's response was a confused WEEPBONG, which wasn't really surprising at all. Chuckling, Morton boarded the Vesper and prepared for takeoff. The time had come to choose the course for the race. Once again, Morton was the randomly seleted racer asked to pick between the Rough Ride and the Grand Prix. There was some strategy involved with Morton's pick. He knew that Yoshi's Green Machine had amazing acceleration, and wanted to pick a track that minimized the use of that stat. As such, he decided to go with the Rough Ride. Unfortunately, he would soon find that this course actually involved more acceleration than its counterpart, which was more focused on the straightways.
The race began moments later. As could be expected, the first portion of the course gave Yoshi an early lead, since it allowed him to use his incredible acceleration. Vin Diesel was just the opposite; he literally drifted off the starting line, and took quite some time to get his ship in gear. Morton was giving it all he had, and was almost managing to hold his own against Yoshi, except where acceleration was involved. Rendered desperate by one such instance, Morton quickly hit the switch that Boshi had attached to his cockpit. He was satisfied by the way Yoshi's engine starting smoking and sputtering, causing the green-garbed pilot to let out a startled WEEPBONG! However, Morton's satisfaction quickly dissolved as his own ship began malfunctioning. Vin was faced with a similiar situation, and became only more furious when a message from Boshi came in. It started with a rather smug FWIPOW, and went on to inform Morton that he always installed a backup device, just in case his initial sabotage was discovered. As the three pilots struggled to repair their engines, Boshi launched from the station in his Imitation, intent on winning the race through any means necessary. In fact, he had managed to catch up with Morton and Yoshi by the time that the two had fixed their ships. Vin had also got his Fury working again, but was while behind the frontrunners. His situation didn't improve when he entered the field of plasma mines, and was promptly embroiled in explosions. This was nothing new for the extreme star, and he decided to eject amongst the explosions, despite the fact that his ship was still operational. Somehow, his escape pod looked something like a parachute. Though the crowd was impressed by this stunt, their attention was focused on the finish line. It was a three-way race as the pilots approached the final leg, though one pilot was not even officially one of the contenders. Still, the cheating of Boshi and Morton still couldn't stop Yoshi from zooming past them and across the finish line with a triumphant WEEPBONG. Morton finished moments later, with Boshi right behind. Vin Diesel didn't actually finish the race, but instead fired his rocket launcher at some of the plasma mines, causing more intense explosions. Satisfied with this, at least, Diesel returned to his ship and flew away, searching for more extreme entertainment. Boshi also declined the chance to return to the station, possibly because he could have been arrested for his underhanded schemes. With a vow of vengeance, he too flew off into deep space.
Mean Gene started announcing the prizes once Morton and Yoshi had returned to the observation lounge. As the winner of the Kessel Run, Yoshi would not only receive fame forever, but also a cash prize of 10,000 marks, and likely some big corporate sponsorship deals as well. Morton was dismayed to hear that the second place finisher only received 100 marks, and a copy of the Kessel Run boardgame. Third would have received 50, although it seemed doubtful that a millionaire like Vin Diesel would bother to claim it. Once these announcements were finished, Mean Gene concluded his commentary by repeating once again his shock that Joe Demott had not won the big prize. But Johnny had won some money gambling, and seemed to enjoy pointing it out as many times as possible. Morton retaliated that he had at least made it to a final. Johnny, on the other hand, maintained that losing in the final had only made Morton look worse, especially with his lack of fashion sense. On a somewhat related topic, Faust noted that it might be difficult for them all to return to the station, considering the limited amount of passenger space available. In the end, the decision was made to leave Taylor on the Grand Prix, so he could continue his work without the continual interruption of Red-Shirt clothing. Tintin was once again crowded into Morton's ship, while Johnny took Faust on a very curvy ride back towards the station. Fortunately, the mortician didn't appear as disconcerted by the random stunts as Taylor had been. Several hours of uneventful flight later, the two ships were approaching the station, and picking up a Falcon coming out to meet them. It was Falco, and he didn't waste time before dubbing them both Goose. A typical welcome.
Work log: Unfortunately, Morton and Johnny's absence hasn't quite decreased your workload in the way you were hoping. While it's true that you didn't seem to get involved in some sort of action-oriented adventure, you have instead been forced to spend much time at the communications station. This was likely due to the recent escape of Moriarty and several other criminals from the brig. Zaya has had you working the communications channels around the clock in an attempt to locate these fugitives, with no success. They seem to have disappeared without a trace, which means you might soon be free to return to your normal free-cell habits.
Incoming Transmissions:
-Tintin clothing is apparently all the rage in the fashion industry. This new wave is said to have seen its debut during the televised Kessel Run, and is now spreading to all the famous catwalks around the galaxy. As such, the hot colors of the season are said to be blue and brown, as well as anything made from Egyptian materials. As far as you're concerned, Blitzball uniforms are the pinnacle of fashion, even if they're not produced in some country you've never heard of.
-The final match of the Blitzball Intergalactic Cup will be played tomorrow night. Anticipation is huge, and tickets are already selling for huge amounts on theBay. You can't wait to watch this game, and sincerely hope that nothing interupts your viewing plans.
Personal Notes:
-The editing of your Red-Shirt video is finished. You've now been working on the narration. It's coming together very nicely, and you think that it's already a masterpiece which very acculately depicts the plight of Red-Shirts. Next, you'll be doing the credits. This will probably be the best part of the film, since you will be listed for almost all the work.
-After all this work at the communications station, you need some relaxation. Instead, you've decided to play Blitzball. The final game has you pumped up. And there's nothing more satisfying than kicking a Blitzball into the net. As such, you've decided to organize a Blitzball practice. You intend to get as many of the station's Blitzball players into the sphere as possible, so that you can outdo them. There might not be enough room for a real game, but you really don't need room to outscore Johnny.
Mini-Objective:
-Organize a Blitzball practice in the Hydrosphere.
Work Log: After a big event like the Kessel Run, it truly is difficult to get back into your mundane tasks at the station. Patrols just don't seem as exciting as the incredible speeds you experienced out at the race. And repairing the APC just isn't as much fun as tuning up your Falcon-X. Still, it's quite necessary, since the APC is now the station's only transport ship.
Space Fleet Status:
-1 tuned-up Falcon Fighter belonging to Falco Lombardo.
-1 Falcon-X known as the Vesper that almost made the Kessel Run.
-1 Thunderer, belonging to Fayde.
-An APC known as The Buick, still in great need of repair.
-Custom Falcon belonging to Johnny, self-proclaimed pinnacle of style.
Military Supplies:
-11 'slightly-used' Falcon missiles purchased from Crazy Sam.
-8 Heatwave missiles purchased from the GAP.
-3 Space-suits complete with oxygen tanks providing fourty minutes of breathable air. Taylor has fixed the one that was damaged, though it is now asymmetrical.
Docked Flights:
-You were saddened to see that the Broker's Blue Chip ship is still docked in space bay one. This guy isn't very fast at running OR at fixing his scooter, unforunately. Which means you'll have to put up with his taunts for a little while longer.
-An Imperial Electran transport has arrived on the station, and is docked in Space Bay Two. It's clearly a military ship, and is both armed and armored. You're not really sure what it could be doing here.
Personal Notes:
-Falco is still upset about missing the Kessel Run, especially since he claims that both you and Johnny failed to hold up Epsilon's reputation. Although Falco says he would only have settled for first place, you're of the opinion that your finish was not bad at all for your first time at the race. And you can always blame a faulty Interocitor as the reason for your loss.
-Although you don't often have the computer skills to check your email, you recently received a message that greatly excited you. Apparently, Bovine University is offering to upgrade your email degree, provided you have the skills necessary to reply to their email. This will be tough, but you really do want to get the MBA they're offering. You're not sure what it stands for, but it kind of sounds like NBA, so it must be good in some way.
-Several criminals apparently escaped from the brig while you were away, including Moriarty. You aren't too sure of the details, but you do know that the station's Silverdust has gone missing. Which is far more important, as far as you're concerned.
Mini-Objective:
-Obtain an email MBA degree from Bovine University.
Work Log: There seems to be a correlation between the work of a mortician and the amount of danger faced by the station. This means that your duties have recently grown far more time consuming, with large numbers of corpses to process and obtain. And it hasn't peaked yet. You heard that the population of the nearby Electran research station was completely wiped out. Although those corpses might technically be considered Electran jurisdiction, they don't seem to be moving in very fast, which means you might have to take possession of them. Unfortunately, the morgue simply doesn't have the facilities to host such a large influx of bodies. Freezer space is essential both for you and your corpses, and it's running out fast.
Body Count: (All these corpses are currently stored in the freezer of Sick Bay.)
-Several Red-Shirts who apparently tripped and died during the filming of Mr. Rhyze's supposedly classic Red-Shirt help video.
-An Irish Boy-O whose luck had run out.
-A pair of Red-Shirts that had apparently been killed in some sort of jailbreak from the station brig. The perpetrators were supposedly alive, which means this is security's problem.
-The corpse of an Electran soldier salvaged from space.
-About twenty crushed bees.
-The brain of a Shoopuf. Almost as good as chilled monkey brains.
-Some dogs that once had bees in their mouths.
-The burnt skeleton you recovered from the asteroid.
-A half dozen frozen chickens, taken from Kenny Rogers Roasters.
Necromancy Report:
-The most recent issue of Necromancy Monthly, the only official Necromancer's magazine (quite understandably), focuses on the new edition of Dungeons & Dragons. The article appears to have been written by Diablo, the necromancer you met during the Kessel Run. He seems to claim that D&D is the perfect way to draw young children to the occult, and make them feel 'special'. Each necromancer has a different focus, and your main interest has always been the (un)dead, rather than corrupting children.
Personal Notes:
-The lack of freezer space is highly disturbing. You have great difficulty sleeping without the properly frozen environment. This was what caused you to stow away on the Milk Chocolate. Its refrigeration systems were necessarily very advanced to keep the chocolate onboard from melting. Unfortunately, it's no longer docked at the station, so you'll have to find other freezer space that you can confiscate for your morgue.
Mini-Objective:
-Find as much freezer space as possible for your morgue.
Please proceed to page two of this adventure to read more about the group's return to Epsilon.
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