Adventure Overview
Players: Mr. Rhyze, Morton.
Enemies: Manolo, Blitzball Hooligans and the Electran Currents.
Started: During a meeting about the upcoming shore leave.
Ended: With the conclusion of the promotional game.
This adventure broke with tradition by not involving any scenes with Bennigan's. Instead, the adventure began as a group of Epsilon officers gathered for a meeting in the briefing room. The topic of this meeting was the coming shore leave, and thus involved Mr. Rhyze, Morton Ragnarson, Keepa and Manolo. All four were being addressed by Commander Zaya, who informed them that they would be leaving in a matter of hours. The Blitzball Intergalactic Cup game was set to begin the next day, and those with tickets obviously did not want to miss the big event. As the topic of Blitzball was being discussed, Mr. Rhyze happened to notice that Manolo was wearing a new shirt underneath his blue suit jacket. In fact, this shirt was actually the official Mr. Rhyze Blitzball jersey! Stunned, Mr. Rhyze asked Manolo where he had obtained the shirt. In reply, Manolo told him that he had found it at Doug's. Furthermore, the Acquisitions Officer smugly pointed out that the player depicted on the shirt was actually an employee at Space Station Epsilon. In fact, Manolo claimed this fellow's fame could easily be exploited by someone with a marketing degree. After reminding everyone of his own such degree, Manolo declared that he would promote this player, and thus attract tourism and attention to space station Epsilon. Apparently, the spin-off benefits would be huge!
After listening to this enthusiastic speech, Mr. Rhyze replied that he was the one featured on the jersey. This was met with an outright denial from Manolo. Despite Mr. Rhyze's arguments, Manolo maintained that the fact that the Mr. Rhyze on his jersey had the same name as the communications officer was purely coincidental. Especially since the Mr. Rhyze on the shirt was wearing a Blitzball outfit, whereas the real Mr. Rhyze was wearing a Starfleet uniform. Apparently, the idea of characters wearing different outfits was quite foreign to Manolo, and he dismissed it entirely. In any case, Manolo declared that he knew how to market this guy, and soon the station would be swarming with tourists, and the business that came with them. Thus, unable to obtain his own jersey without resorting to desperate measures, Mr. Rhyze had no choice but to listen to the rest of Zaya's briefing. There wasn't much more to hear. Zaya did grant Mr. Rhyze the use of the station expense account for accomodations, and also gave him a report to deliver to Vice-Admiral Flanedra. Apparently, the Starfleet officer would be present at Starbase during the Blitzball game. Zaya's report contained detailed information about recent events, as well as a request for more resources to deal with the current threats to Sector Y. Speaking of resources, Morton declared that they also needed more Falcon missiles that would actually work. Zaya charged Manolo with this task, along with Morton's urgings to avoid purchasing the use missiles from Crazy Sam, no matter how cheap they might be.
It seemed like the briefing had reached its end, but it was actually the perfect time to make an entrance. And that's exactly what Johnny, The Man did. After several moments of posing, the Iceman declared his intention to accompany them on this trip. Zaya was only too happy to agree with this request, provided Johnny didn't return to the station afterwards. And since he wasn't a part of the military anyway, he didn't need her permission to leave. That settled, Johnny declare that he would fly his custom Falcon, now fully repaired, to Starbase, and surely arrive there before Morton. This led to an angry denial from Morton. But at least they could agree that they would both be getting there before Mr. Rhyze. But there was one final addition to the shore leave team. As usual, Tintin came bursting into the room at a dead run. He had, in his own words, uncovered a massive conspiracy surrounding the Blitzball Intergalactic Cup. And also as usual, it seemed to involve illegal drugs in some vague and fuzzy manner. Thus, the intergalactically acclaimed journalist declared his intention to accompany the shore leave team. Any attempt to dissuade him was met by allegations that Starfleet was trying to silence the media. As such, all opposition relented, and Tintin officially joined the team. With the briefing dismissed, all those leaving hurried down to the Military Bay. Mr. Rhyze would pilot the Silver Dust in which Keepa, Tintin and Manolo would ride. Meanwhile, Morton and Johnny would each take their own Falcons, which provided perfect opportunities to race. On this note, the ships blasted off from Epsilon towards Starbase, where most hoped to find some much needed R&R. Of course, as they would soon find, shore leave can be very much as dangerous as any day on the job.
Personal Notes:
-The championship Blitzball game has finally come, and you're ready for action! You've been looking forward to this trip for weeks, and you certainly intend to make the most of it. Despite the analysis of some pundits, you are strongly in favor of the home team, the Deksiil Crescent Moons. They would likely do even better if you were playing for them, but whether you're in the stands or in the hydrosphere, you intend to see them win this game. You have nothing against Electrans in general, but the Currents just don't have what it takes to win this coming match.
-This Blitzball game is certainly a big event, and many celebrities are expected to attend. Before leaving the station, you heard rumours that Alex Trebek, host of Jeopardy, is supposed to be one such celebrity. Of course, being a Jeopardy champion isn't nearly as glorious as being a Blitzball champion.
Mini-Objectives:
-Promote the Deksiil Crescent Moons as much as possible, and in so doing, promote your own Blitzball skills.
Personal Notes:
-You're definitely ready for some serious r&r. Space combat might be your passion, but you still need a break every now and then. And this break has come right when you needed it most. You're not nearly as interested in the Blitzball as Mr. Rhyze, but Starbase does feature other attractions.
-As far as you're concerned, Shore Leave is just about booze and food. The Mozza burgers you received from the Bear have only whet your appetite for some diverse meals. Irish food is both good and free, but an ace pilot like yourself sometimes craves some variety. And Starbase should be the perfect place to find it. As a virtual meltingpot of races and cultures, you should be able to satisfy your considerable hunger.
-Daikon-7 promised to deliver a new ship after the Epsilon Replacements' performance in Yankee Stadium. You haven't forgotten that promise, and you're looking forward to picking up this new addition to Epsilon's space fleet.
Mini-Objectives:
-Sample some food from as many different planets as possible. For your convenience, a list of different cuisines is provided below. Simply check them off as you taste them.
Chalchak:
Deksiil:
Terroria:
Armoria:
Warchor:
Fenixa:
Tortalus:
This trip would be much faster than the last one to Starbase. The Silver Dust could cover the distance in a fraction of the time required by the SG-3. And the ride was much more comfortable. Even Manolo was satisfied by the contents of the onboard refrigerator. For his part, Keepa was satisfied with the flight movie. Contrary to expectations, it was not actually a Gladiator Movie, but rather continual previews for the Blitzball Intergalactic Cup, interspersed with several commercials for the new Cagematch film. This did not interest Tintin, but the fridge certainly did. He was suspicious of the drinks that had been found within, and claimed that some might be poisoned or even filled with drugs. According to the journalist, this would be the perfect way to smuggle these illegal substances. Mr. Rhyze spent most of the trip engaged in Free-Cell on the ship's computer. However, this activity was eventually disturbed by Manolo's continual pressing of the steward button. Somewhat annoyed, Mr. Rhyze tried to stop the beeping by turning off all lights in the passenger section. This caused Tintin to leap into action, but Mr. Rhyze quickly convinced him that Manolo was to blame. One knockout punch later, and the communications officer's problems were solved.
Meanwhile, the transport's escorts were engaged in some serious racing. However, right off the bat, Johnny spun his ship in the wrong direction. Despite Morton's warnings, Johnny assured him that it was a shortcut, and that he would be waiting for Morton at Starbase. Determined to beat the Iceman, Morton pushed his Falcon to the maximum speed. Fortunately, simply due to its superior LSD drive, the Silver Dust was able to keep up even with Mr. Rhyze at the helm. However, the journey did not pass without incident. After a half hour of flight, both Silver Dust and Falcon were pulled out of LSD by the presence of a large ship ahead. Scanner indicated that this large ship was surrounded by a half-dozen smaller forms, and that these forms were attacking the larger ship. Mr. Rhyze hung back while Morton approached to investigate. Upon getting closer, Morton's scanners registered the large ship as Yankee Stadium, the travelling Blitzball Sphere owned by George Steinbrenner. It was currently being attacked by a number of Scourges, classified as small, clawed space monsters. Morton quickly opened a communications channel with Yankee Stadium, and found himself facing the back of George Steinbrenner's head. As expected, the owner of the Yankees was busy devouring a bread bowl. In addition, he was noting that his most recent transaction, involving the trading of all his Falcons for SG3s, might not have been a good one. After Morton agreed, Steinbrenner asked him to take care of the monsters. Morton was reluctant to take on all the monsters by himself, but Steinbrenner assured him that there was nothing more satisfying than looking back after a battle and seeing nothing there. This settled the issue. And with the help of the sole lazer mounted on the Stadiun, Morton took down all six monsters.
Steinbrenner was apparently also on his way to Starbase to see the upcoming Blitzball game, and maybe make a few trades. After promising to see them again later and thanking them for their assistance, the owner of the Yankees returned to the important task of devouring a breadbowl. Feeling satisfied, Morton and Mr. Rhyze resumed their journey towards Starbase. The rest of the journey passed without incident, but this delay did cost Morton the race. Johnny's custom Falcon was idling near Starbase as the two Epsilon ships arrived. After making several smug comments, Johnny led them towards the large, glowing intergalactic space station. There were even more ships crowded around the station's ten docking bays than there had been during the last shore leave. One of these ships even included a Jawa sandcrawler. Either these were the same Jawas that our heroes had cut off the last time, or the news had simply spread among all Jawas. Either way, with indignant messages of Houdidi!, the sandcrawler moved to block entrance into one of the docking bays. With a daring maneuver, Morton streaked his Falcon through just before the Jawas could completely block the bay. Mr. Rhyze wasn't interested in even attempting such a dangerous maneuver. Instead, he simply went looking for another bay. The unmaneuverable sandcrawler was unable to prevent such a move. As such, soon the ships had landed within Starbase, and the second shore leave had begun.
Starbase security was waiting for them when they arrived. Of course, the fact that these folks were wearing red shirts was a rather good indication of their competence. After a few disinterested questions, the security team let them past. By this point, Manolo was awake again, and already advocating Epsilon's connections to professional Blitzball. As the six made their way out of the docking bay, they saw vast crowds of people bustling through the station, most already equipped with Blitzball merchandise. The flags of the two competing planets hung everywhere, prominently displaying the pride of the Electran Empire and Deksiil. Overhead monitors showed continuous replays of famous Blitzball scenes and commentary from Don Cherry. This Blitzball media barrage was topped off by an Electran in a smarmy sweater handing out pamphlets on the Electran team to anyone who passed. Commotion ensued when Mr. Rhyze promptly tore up the pamphlet that the Electran gave him. The Electran declared that the Crescent Moons didn't stand a chance against the most technically-skilled team in the league. Mr. Rhyze responded that at least the Deksiilans didn't even need to consider the use of robotic enhancements to win the game. Needless to say, this enraged the Electran still further. However, the smarmy Electran seemed unwilling to come to blows with such obviously powerful warriors, and instead stalked away to disperse his pamphlets to other new arrivals. Now past this obstacle, the six were able to continue their journey into the heart of Starbase. However, they had not gone far before encountered a film crew taping Don Cherry. For this live edition of Coach's Corner, Cherry was interviewing another man well known for his commenting skills.
Mean Gene Don Cherry was interviewing Mean Gene about the upcoming game. Gene thought that it was unbelievable, and declared that both teams could win this thing. When asked if it would be a memorable match, Gene replied that he thought so. When Don Cherry noticed the arrival of the Epsilon contingent, he immiediately got an interview going. Mr. Rhyze was only too willing to promote the chances of the Deksiilan team, even as Manolo promoted space station Epsilon itself. For his part, Mean Gene considered all these promotions to be incredible feats of athleticism. However, the Epsilon contingent's time in the spotlight did not last long. Soon, a rumble in the floor announced the presence of Babe Ruth. He was followed by Jet, Vana White and a number of people pushing George Steinbrenner's chair. This was also an amazing act of athleticism, according to Mean Gene. Cherry had to turn his attention to the owner of the Yankees. On the other hand, Johnny's attention was drawn right to Vana White. Meanwhile, Babe Ruth declared his intention to eat everything in sight. This worried Morton, who knew that if Babe Ruth reached the food, there would surely be none left afterwards. As such, the pilot started running for the food court. Babe Ruth pursued, although he became exhausted almost instantly, and was thus passed by Tintin. The journalist had decided to start looking for signs of a conspiracy, and this naturally caused him to go running at his maximum speed. All of this left Mr. Rhyze and Keepa in charge of getting accomodations. Which was just as well, since Mr. Rhyze had the expense account anyway.
It's not surprising that Morton reached the food court well before Babe Ruth. Scanning the various restaurants, the pilot quickly identified the Warchon Wok. Although the attendant didn't speak Galactic very well, Morton did manage to obtain some sushi. This was followed by a trip to the Tacotime, where the pilot got some spicy Fenixan food from the surly cook. Finally, Morton turned his attention on the small barbecue run by the Terrorian in the tuque and trenchcoat. With no questions asked, the Terrorian 'chef' agreed to cook him up a badger burger for a peso. Of course, the bread used was several weeks old, but at least the badger was freshly caught. By this point, Babe Ruth had waddled through the crowd and was now accosting the nearest foodstand with frightening enthusiasm. As such, Morton decided to look elsewhere for food. A quick check of the Starbase map directory told him all he needed to know about the station's dining facilities.
Race: Deksiilan
Occupation: Wrestling Commentator
This description is UNBELIEVABLE! Just like Mean Gene himself. As a veteran wrestling commentator, Gene was prone to constant amazement about absolutely anything. He was also prone for making ridiculous predictions and marvelling about the athleticism of all those nearby. Mean Gene was a short, balding man with a mustache, a grey suit and a red tie. In addition, he was equipped with a microphone complete with the WWE symbol emblazoned upon it. He was fully capable of using this mic to deliver his breathless and oft-amazed comments. Mean Gene had been called in as a special commentator to help cover the Blitzball Intergalactic Cup. His skills around the wrestling ring easily transferred to the hydrosphere. Which is truly rather unbelievable.
The following is a list of publicly accessible properties on the Starbase International Space Station. This information can simply be found by checking one of the useful Station maps spread throughout the structure.
The Palaco Time: 2 --- The Blitz-Club Time: 2
Chevrignon Time: 3 --- Holiday Inn Time: 2
-Restaurants and Fine Dining-
McCrocks Time: 1 --- The Food Court Time: 3
Slick's Coffeehouse Time: 2 --- Labatt's Bar Time: 2
The Executive Cuisine Time: 4 --- Papa Rigatoni's Pasta Time: 2
Papa John's Pizza Time: 1
-Services and Shops-
Radio Shack Time: 2 --- GAP Space Supplies Time: 3
Lin Ye Tang's Laundry Time: 2 --- Crazy Sam's Weaponry Time: 2
The Bay Time: 4 --- Duty-Free Bank Time: 2
The Green Grocer Time: 2 --- Spatula-City Time: 1
Center Cinemas Time: 3
-International Space Services-
Starbase Security Time: 2 --- Station Info Network Time: 1
Practice Hydrospheres Time: 2 --- Locker Room Time: 2
Blitzball Stadium Time: 3 --- Starbase Command Time: 2
Now in search of Chalchakian food, Morton decided to avoid visiting Papa John's, considering the kind of service offered by that chain. Instead, he made his way to Slick's Coffeehouse, in the hopes of obtaining rare Chalchakian coffee beans. He found what he was looking for, although he did end up paying a high price for a tiny cup of coffee. As he finished the brew in a single sip, Morton was somewhat surprised when a distinguished Electran seated himself at his table. This Electran turned out to be a Mr. Coffee Pott, a wealthy coffee baron. Judging from the pilot's order, Pott knew that Morton clearly had good taste in coffee. Eventually, the conversation between them wound around to the topic of Senor Nabob. Pott declared that Nabob was the worst sort of villain, who was badly damaging the reputation of coffee barons everywhere. Morton agreed to both this and suggestion to boycott Senor Nabob's coffee. This second part of the agreement was easy, since Morton would never pay for any of Nabob's coffee anyway. Following this coffee, Morton paid a quick visit to the Chevrignon. The expensive restaurant at this even more expensive hotel specialised in seafood, and Morton was thus able to fulfill his craving for Toralian food. Of course, the portions were small, but at least there were no oysters involved. Once he had finished this meal, Morton was left with only two styles of cusine to go: Deksiilan and Armorian. Unfortunately, despite working for the Deksiil Starfleet and ostensibly originating from Deksiil, Morton still didn't know exactly what Deksiilan food was. So he just went to McCrock's.
During Morton's quest for food, Mr. Rhyze and Keepa were searching for proper accomodations. They first stopped by the Blitzclub, but as expected, all the rooms were booked by the actual Blitzball teams. Instead, Mr. Rhyze was forced to fall back on his traditional choice: the Holiday Inn. It did, after all, have a waterslide. This was in fact its main selling point. While Keepa enjoyed this feature, Mr. Rhyze went out to take care of some business. In truth, this business mostly involved selling all the weapons the communications officer had amassed in various adventures. To accomplish this, he made his way over to Crazy Sam's used weaponry. Sam was eager to buy the weapons, especially the ones that had been used and only worked part of the time. In particular, he was impressed with the rifle that Mr. Rhyze had obtained from The General. While attempting to test the weapon, Sam fired it several times into the crowd outside his shop. This caused a great deal of panic and distress, and caused Sam to lock down his shop. Mr. Rhyze was a bit worried about this procedure, but Crazy Sam assured him that Starbase PD was never persistent enough to wait him out. They would always leave within a few days. And since Sam had stocked lots of food, he and Mr. Rhyze could afford to wait out the siege that would ensue from Sam's random shots into the crowd. Mr. Rhyze wasn't nearly so thrilled with this, but fortunately Starbase security was distracted with other matters, and the communications officer was thus soon able to leave, laden now with money instead of weapons.
Although Mr. Rhyze didn't know it, the distraction affecting Security was partially due to his companion, Morton Ragnarson. After a cheap meal at McCrock's, Morton had decided to head over to Labatt's Bar. Since Deksiil was known as the 'blue planet', the pilot thought that perhaps Labatt Blue beer would constitute Deksiilan food. This turned out not to be the case, but it did lead to several interesting events. While downing a pitcher of Labatt Blue, Morton noted that many people nearby were both fans of Blitzball and quite drunk. As such, an argument about the upcoming match soon broke out. Half of the patrons seemed to feel that the Deksiilan team would easily win, whereas the other half felt the Electrans had a big disadvantage. Morton's own comments on the game did little to calm the situation. In fact, both sides soon began making vastly controversial statements, guaranteed to offend fans of the other team. Before long, the patrons of the bar had devolved into little more than Blitzball hooligans. And as could be expected from hooligans, they began to destroy their surroundings. Morton found himself in the midst of this massive brawl. Of course, his DFW was more than a match for the chairs and bottles used by the rabid fans, but the pilot was still annoyed by this delay to his eating schedule. He attempted to make a quick exit, but ended up instead attracting the ire of a half-dozen fans that followed him from the bar. As the fight boiled out into the corridors of Starbase, Morton decided to curb his opponents' enthusiasm through several gunshots. Unfortunately, it was at this point that Starbase security arrived to deal with the riot. Suddenly, Morton found a large gun pointed at him. The holder of this gun had whipped out a badge and was talking at million words per minute.
Chris Tucker Chris Tucker was flanked by several nondescript Red-Shirts, and ordered Morton to drop his gun and give up. Despite the authority of Starbase PD, Morton decided to make a run for it. This earned him a shot from Tucker's gun, as well as blank looks from the rest of the security team. Predictably, Tucker was the only one to give chase, shouting for people in the crowd to stop the criminal. Several people moved to do so, but Morton managed to divert their attention by pointing and claiming to have seen first some famous Blitzball players, then Johnny Cage and finally Chris Tucker. This caused several people to mob around Chris Tucker, thus delaying him further. This gave Morton the time he needed to reach the food court. Once there, he quickly hooked up with the barbecue Terrorian and obtained the fellow's trenchcoat and tuque. However, Chris Tucker was still close behind, so Morton hid in the barbecue. This hiding place allowed him to avoid Tucker, who was disgusted by the bread offered to him by the Terrorian cook. Claiming that no one would eat that greasy stuff, Chris Tucker strode off, proclaiming loudly (as usual) that he would find the one-eyed criminal. Once he was gone, Morton climbed out of the barbecue. Safe for now, he asked the other Terrorian about the nature of Deksiilan and Armorian food. When told that Armorian food involved pastries, whereas Deksiilan food was all about pasta, Morton made a beeline for Papa Rigatoni's pasta, where he obtained his requisite amount of Deksiilan cuisine. This just left Armorian food, and Morton had an idea where he could get some.
Race: Lorician
Occupation: Starbase PD
Chris Tucker is a fast-talking member of Starbase PD, and one of the few members of that crack security force that doesn't wear a red shirt. Instead, Chris Tucker is fashionably dressed in a navy blue suit, and dark blue tie. He sports a small goatee, a big gun and a whole lot of attitude. In fact, some have dubbed Tucker as having the fastest mouth in the galaxy, and his usual jive-talkin' seems to prove this assessment. He also has a habit of showing off his badge and of assuming that those around him don't speak Galactic. Although some would say that Chris Tucker is all talk, he does carry a PK-97 as if he knows how to use it. He also has the ability to grab an opponents' firearm, although he often forgets to reverse it and ends up with the gun pointing in his direction.
Meanwhile, Mr. Rhyze had returned to the hotel after his dealings with Crazy Sam. However, he was stopped cold by a commercial playing on the TV hanging in the lobby of the Holiday Inn. It was pure Blitzball propaganda. It made shocking allegations of corruption and incompetence against all players for the Deksiil Crescent Moons, even including replacements such as Keepa and Mr. Rhyze himself. At the end of the commercial, a message proclaimed this a paid advertisement from the IBF, the Imperial Blitzball Fanclub. Outraged, Mr. Rhyze decided that it was time to spread some propaganda of his own. Unforunately, he had no time to do so before an announcement over the intercom got his attention. The familiar voice of Don Cherry invited all Blitzball fans to come to the Stadium for a special promotional event. The exact nature of this event would not yet be revealed, but it was sure to please anyone with any taste for Blitzball. Tickets would be sold at the door for twenty marks, on a first come, first serve basis. Mr. Rhyze intended to be one of the first ones there, and with his flight abilities, this did not prove to be much of a problem. Of course, the crowds were thick and slow-moving around the stadium itself. This was probably due to the fact that Chris Tucker was stationed by the main entrance, questioning all who passed and asking if they recognised his stick-drawing of a guy with an eye-patch. When Tucker noticed Mr. Rhyze flying past, he accused the communications officer of trying to sneak past and demanded to know if he had seen anyone resembling his picture. Mr. Rhyze replied that he had no stick figures around the station before paying the fee and flying into the stadium. This caused Tucker to go into a jive-talkin' rant, but with all the people waiting in the line, he had no time to pursue.
To discover the nature of this promotional event, please proceed to page two of this adventure.
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