Ambrose - Agent's Report 8

Recent Duties: Four days have passed since the graduation ceremony at the Police Academy. The ceremony itself is almost a complete blur, probably because of your excitement at the propsect of having your teaching efforts recognised in the form of an award. Once again, your instincts proved correct. At least in that regard. Unfortunately, your expectations of a transfer were perhaps a bit too elevated. You did get one, but it involved a relocation back to active duty in the city of Cormus, rather than the more polished and sophisticated assignments in Coursair. Still, it seems that the high brass must have recognised your many talents; they've dispatched you to Precinct 13 to work as an investigative agent. All the same, you're very disappointed that you weren't able to get a direct transfer back to Coursair. It seems you'll have to spend some time working the relatively uncivilized Cormus social scene before you'll be able to get back into the place, and class, where you belong.

Faculty Relations: (This may well be your final entry in faculty relations. Though you appreciated holding the title, you have to say the position would be a lot more appealing if it was tenured. Because almost nothing says bonvivant quite like tenure.)

-You knew from your very first day at the Academy that Strider was trouble. Which only goes to show that your instincts haven't dulled in the least, much like your saber. That line about putting down rabid dogs was a clear signal of malicious intent. In any case, it seems you were able to save the Academy from many of its woes all with one delectably clever deduction. In spite of Master NORG's plans, the police commission has decided to give the Academy one more provisional term of operation, just to see if it's capable of running smoothly witout being hindered by Strider's sabotage.

-As expected, Instructor Millernia has been promoted to be headmistress of the Academy, at least until a more permanent replacement can be found. Good for her. You appreciated Samuel's taste in wining and dining, but you have to think she'll make a more professional principal. Furthermore, the fact that she reportedly resisted that crude Jazz's advances reflects positively on her tastes as well.

High Society News: (The latest gossip from high society sources, ranging from rumours of indiscretion to the content of the many glossy magazines on the subject.)

-A new art exhibition is slated to open soon in the Cormus Gallery of Modern Art. It's expected to include works from such influential artists as Christin P., Lite Metal and Yoko. However, the centerpiece of this display is expected to be a number of rare works by the enigmatic and avant-garde artist known only as Krypto. The elite are waiting on the premiere of this collection with great anticipation.

Personal Notes:

-You may not have been eligible to actaully graduatedfrom the Academy, but you still definitely received high honors in the form of a teaching award. Which is at least equivalent to the better half of a real degree. You'll have to remember to treat it accordingly, and make sure that everyone else does the same.

Mini-Objective:

-Present and show off your teaching award to as many people as possible.

(Please keep an accurate list of everyone who has been blessed enough to lay eyes on your sacred certificate.)

John McGuire – Cop's Report 8

Recent Duties: Four days have passed since the graduation ceremony at the Police Academy. You weren't actually invovled in the convocation, although that didn't stop you from snatching up one of the awards and several of the snacks. Then again, there's not much that can stop you from doing what needs to be done. Strider found that out the hard way. This was one of the more challenging undercover missions you've taken on, mostly because it required to act like a green recruit. Yeah, throwing all those exams wasn't easy for a cop of your caliber.

Insider Information: (You're on the same page now as your fellow 'recruits', and as such this will probably be the last time you'll be seeing this section.)

-So it was Strider from the beginning. Your suspicions were definitely pointed in his direction, at least for a while. Until the whole thing started to seem too obvious, anyway. He might have gotten away with it all too, if he hadn't made the mistake of trying to smoke you out. That's when his whole scheme backfired. Soon as you saw him out there in the woods, everything fell into place just like clockwork. Still, you got him right where you wanted him: right between the eyes, and that's your PK-97 talkin'. Case closed, just like Strider's casket.

Word on the Street: (McGuire's all about prowling the streets and hitting up his large string of contacts. Some are legit, others not so much. But they all have a story to tell, if you're willing to listen.)

-It's been a while since you've had a chance to take the temperature of the city streets. While you've spent a fair amount of time re-establishing ties with your usual contacts (and your usual drinking establishments), you've still managed to pick up some rumours. Most of them are about Kainum-X, a new narcotic that has hit the city's back market harder than a rock to the head. No one's sure where this deadly drug is coming from, but it's sure flooded the market fast. In addition to being more expensive, Kainium-X is also about twice as volatile and addictive as Kanium, its more common cousin.

Personal Notes:

-Now that you've finally dug yourself out from your undercover disguise, you're ready to get back to your normal duties. So you're back to working your beat of the city, pounding the pavement and often the thugs who occupy it. The streets are a dangerous place to work, but your return to them makes them just a little bit safer. Not for criminals, though. Yippy-ky-yay.

-Midgets. You can't stand 'em. Other people may be able to find the humour in the antics created by their diminutive size, but you're only able to see them as twee and annoying. Their disposition seems to greatly improve after they take a shot, and not of the liquor variety.

Mini-Objective:

-Shoot any midgets you happen to come across, without displaying any remorse or second thoughts.

-Make sure that all the Academy students are aware that your low marks were entirely due to your success in deliberately throwing all the finals.

Neji – Recruit's Report 8

Recent Duties: Four days have passed since the graduation ceremony at the Police Academy. You're still surprised that Frodo walked out of the convocation with the Stealth award, but it's not really much of a mystery when you consider Strider's true nature. Clearly he didn't want to hand out his award to an aspiring superhero like yourself. In any case, since signing up with Precinct 13, you've spent some time settling into your new environment. There's been a lot of introductions, but little actual work so far. You're looking forward to pursuing the war against crime on a more official level.

Divine Rumblings: (Meditating at your desk has attracted a few stares, but the catharthic properties of Katra have allowed you to pay them no heed.)

-Strider's defeat seems to have lifted a great weight from your shoulders. The growing darkness that you've felt over the past weeks has finally dissipated, in no small part due to your own heroics. Still, you've had a few nightmares about your final controntation with the covert ops instructor. His eyes are still etched into your memory, burning with an almost insatiable malice. This was a sign of evil the likes of which you've never encountered before. Bringing such foes to justice is what you hope your career will be all about. Now you just have to figure out what all that Sarpedon business was about.

-Being isolated in your room has significantly cut down on the number of the calls you`ve been able to take. You can only assume that the rest are being handled by Chins. Or mishandled, as the case may be.

-You haven't yet had a chance to make arrangements regarding your teen helpline. As such, calls to 1-800-MYA-NGST are still being routed to the Police Academy into the less than competent hands of Chins. On the other hand, it doesn't seem like your new job will leave you much time to be on standby for the hotline. In any case, this is probably a problem for a later date, when you're not still adjusting to your new job.

Personal Notes:

-The company hasn't changed much, but at least the food here at Precinct 13 is far superior to the Academy's coffee and donuts, served with such disdain by Mrs. Keen. Most of the cops seem to eat at Monk's Coffeeshop, which is conveniently built right into the main floor of the precinct. This sounds like the sort of arrangement Chins might come up with. In any case, Monk's serves a wider variety that includes soups, sandwhiches and cereal. They also have the ubiquitous coffee and donuts, though you're kind of off those at this point.

-The Chief has taken you aside to give you a special assignment. Apparently some foreign cop is being sent over to visit the precinct. The Chief wants to avoid an interplanetary incident by keeping this foreigner out of trouble, and has asked you to do so. He's supposed to let you know once your charge has arrived. This is your first chance to work directly underneath the Chief, and as such you plan to impress him by putting in your best effort.

Mini-Objective:

-Keep an eye on the foreign police officer and prevent him from getting into any sort of trouble.

John Watson – Crime Doctor 8

Recent Duties: Four days have passed since the graduation ceremony at the Police Academy. That time has done little to dim your resentment for being passed over by the police. While the rest of the graduating class was seemingly hired on the spot, you were told in no uncertain terms that you have no head for crime. All of this in spite of the fact that you walked away with two of the more prestigious graduation awards. Once again, the lack of judgement shown by the police demonstrate that they are unfitting allies for the Crime Doctor. You have no intention of giving up the fight against crime, even if it means you'll have to wage your battle in a private capacity.

Newspaper Headlines:

-The conclusion of Samuel de Champlain's murder investigation made then front page of the Cormus Daily Planet. Although the article doesn't have all the details, it does

mention that the murderer was a member of the Academy's faculty, and that they didn't survive the investigation. It's hard to say who really gets the credit for solving the case; as the leading investigator, Lestrade has several quotations sprinkled throughout the piece, all of which seem to be very broad and obvious. On the other hand, Chief Police Commissioner Quinby seems to go out of his way to praise an 'undercover operative' and some fellow by the name of Inspector Gadget. Whichever way you look at it, it seems that once again your credit was stolen by bloody unworthy claimants. The piece concludes by declaring with authority that the case is now closed. Which is absolutely ridiculous. It's the same mistake Holmes always used to make, and you can't even remember the number of times you've lectured him on the topic.

Mysteries: (Directing your regular Baker Street Irregulars has become much easier now that you've returned to your flat. Working as an independent once again, you'll need to rely on Wiggins and his crew more than ever to match the information networks of the police. Or overmatch, as the case may be.)

-Strider's last words were all about this Sarpedon character. The name sounds vaguely familiar to you, although you can't quite place it. In order to jog your memory, you've sent Wiggins and his lads jogging to the usual suspects. As usual, Roger Thornberry's information included only vague threats of mischief. Porky Shinwell at least seemed to recognise the name, though he seemed reluctant to talk about it. After gresing his palm, Wiggins eventually learned that there hasn't been talk of Sarpedon for well over ten years. Other than that, Porky only seemed to know that Sarpedon was name to be feared. That almost make it sound like it's some sort of alias for your arch-rvial, Professor Moriarty, who is surely capable of inspiring such terror. The Irregulars also visited incarcerated felons from the Hand-Clan and Bomb Voyage's group, although none seemed able to provide any useful information.

Personal Notes:

-While the little rascals have been busy doing the footwork, you've been occupied with your archive of past newspapers and Mrs. Hudson's exquisite cooking. You moved to Cormus eight years ago, and as such only have local papers going back that far. Your expert scanning seems to indicate that none of them contain any substantial mention of this Sarpedon. You do find some old stories on the Police Academy, indicating a major slide in enrolment started some eight or nine years ago.

-Solving a crime before it even occurs is still extremely difficult. As such, you'd greatly enjoy the opportunity to work on a case that has already been signed by a criminal. In other words, you need to cut in on some police investigations. You've pulled that stunt before on Inspector Lestrade, and he really didn't seem amenable to it. Perhaps you would receive a more hospitable reception from your erstwhile colleagues over at Precinct 13. Which, by the way, is located within a building with twenty windows.

Mini-Objective:

-Cut in on any police investigations that are scheduled to occur and claim a key part in solving them.

Wheatie – Recruit's Report 8

Recent Duties: Four days have passed since the graduation ceremony at the Police Academy, and already you're feeling a bit nostalgic. You're still not sure if the credits you obtained at the Police Academy will be able to transfer over to your internship at Atch & Co. Still, you've always flourished in academic settings, and your time at the Academy was no exception. There's no doubt that you grew from a bewildered delivery boy into the bewildered recipient of several important graduation awards, albeit not all the ones you really wanted. People keep telling you that you should be happy to have a guaranteed job on the police force, but the fact remains that you never meant to be part of the police in the first place. Mayor Don Atchison, the owner of Atch & Co and thus kind of your supervisor, seems to think you're up to the task. So hopefully all the credits will fall into place at the end of your internship. Meanwhile, the first couple days of active duty haven't been too bad, and have mostly involved settling into your new surroundings.

Book Report:

-The Cormus City Library is huge! The amount of books there must number in then hundreds of thousands! You've been too busy for a detailed inspection, but since it's not too far from the Precinct, you suspect you'll be visiting the library quite frequently. It certainly puts the Academy library to shame in terms of volume, though you have to think the City Library's generic name can't measure up to the bilingual power of Wheatie's Biblioteque. Though it would be even better if they dropped this Wheatie thing.

Notes from Home:

-The most recent letter from your family is talking up the Cormus Carnival. It's apparently taking place this week. You're not sure how your family found out about this; some relative must have tipped them off. Anyway, they keep likening it to a country fair, and urge you to go unwind after your difficult exams. Frankly, you'd rather unwind by taking more exams. You're not a fan of that kind of cheap entertainment, especially when it's not part of an academic setting.

Personal Notes:

-IMPOSSIBLE! You still can't understand how Dr. Watson could have beaten you out for the Social Skills award. You even won that poster contest! There must have been some sort of calculation error! Instead you receivedm the Drama award, which is certainly a poor excuse for a consolation prize.

-Much to your surprise, Chins proved to be a very wise mentor. He rescued youm from a period of great personal tragedy with his material on Risk Management. That was just the sort of direction you needed at that point, and it reminded you of all the things you learned from Samuel. Such as french and the value of the Robert Micro-Poche. In the end, you were able to serve the memory of Samuel with Chins' amazing speech. It was really an amazing sort of catharsis. Or at least the french equivalent of it.

-Now that you've put the pieces of your life back together, it's time to do the same for the pieces of the Roomba. With all the gadgets used by the police department, there has to be someone here who can resurrect the Roomba!

Mini-Objective:

-Get the Roomba repaired and restored to mint condition.

Caesar – Recruit's Report 6

Recent Duties: Four days have passed since the graduation ceremony at the Police Academy. You were pleased just to be a part of it. Some of your marks weren't the highest, but they were good enough to get you by. Which is good enough for you. Of course, the fact that you helped bring Strider to justice was probably quite an embellisment on your transcripts. Whatever the case, you didn't have any trouble getting hired by Precinct 13. Your first few days of work have been rather dull, but you're sure things will pick up anytime now.

-Conveniently enough, the increase in your Sword of Justice's power seems to coincide with Strider's defeat. Maybe Kurando's onto something with that whole justice as fuel theory. Thoug personally, you prefer the kind of fuel that keeps your bike going.

Do the Dew: (Everyone knows Mountain Dew is eXtreme. And so are you. Consequently, you often swap information.)

-This week's buzz is all about the new flavor of Mountain Dew that's just been released to the world. It's called Mountain Dew: Code Red. And it's red. Dude. How awesome is that? It's way awesome. It's supposed to have a wild berry flavor or something, but as always with Mountain Dew, the taste really isn't important as opposed to looking cool while spilling it towards your mouth and making a big mess. This new version should work even better in that capacity.

Personal Notes:

-It's great that Yumi and her father got to see you looking so official at the grad ceremony. You're not a big fan of conforming to police dresscodes, but if that's what it takes to look 'respectable', you're willing to play along. Though you are starting to wonder how long you're gonna have to keep up this whole police pretense.

-Better yet, Yumi remembered to bring your kickass bike to the convocation. You couldn't be happier to see it. Your bike may not be the most reliable vehicle on the road, but it does its job in an inordinately dangerous fashion, much like the way you do yours.

-Speaking of which, now that you've finally regained custody of your bike, it's time for you to remind everyone how eXtreme you really are. Just in case they've forgotten. To that end, you plan to take every opportunity to pull off crazy and often dangerous stunts. Just because you can. And that automatically makes you way cooler than Mugsy. And Fatty. Who didn't even graduate. Just goes to show that the Cobras really were all about the sucking.

-In the vein of eXtreme stunts, you're hoping to get some time off to take Yumi over to the Cormu Carnival, where classic stuntrider Ernie Devlin will be performing one of his trademark death-defying stunts. If you can't get some time off, you'll just have to make some. Priorities, after all.

Mini-Objective:

-Make sure Yumi gets to see Ernie Devlin's show at the Cormus Carnival.

-Perform as many daring and dangerous maneuvers as possible.

(Please keep an accurate list of all your eXtreme exploits.)

Precinct 13 is located in the finest of districts, wherein people overdose in the bathrooms all the time. At least in Monk's. Which is in the same building as the precinct. So... it must happen everywhere. In addition to rampant drug use, there are rumours flying around of some weakling dying just because he was stabbed repeatedly with a ketchup bottle, possibly in the face and neck. Anyways, the PCs, except Watson, because he's a bum, they ate, at Monk's. Gross sandwiches were ordered. Reenactments of the ketchup murder were made. Or preenactments. Next time, Wheatie, NEXT TIME!

The first insulting case was given: Missing Persons. Person. Where's Waldo? Who cares. But apparently his brother sort of cared, a little. Eventually. Inspector Jackie from the IBI showed up, and then vanished, along with others on G-14 classified missions stalking him even if it meant killing the other PCs. So the GOOD cops... meaning... Ambrose, Wheatie and Caesar, and for about 5 seconds McGuire, went to interview Willard. He was an idiot, mostly. Then McGuire left, and Watson totally butted in. Because he was taking a stroll. Incredibly far from his house. Jolly good, pip pip. Wheatie decided he could come since this was not a dangerous case, despite meta gaming telling us that was impossible. Or at least boring if true.

Halfway through that previous paragraph, Jackie tried to jump on a bus, and Caesar caused a massive pileup. By the by. And the General was challenged.

Daily Planet, JJJ a jerk, yada yada yada, we went to the County Fair. A suspicious taxi was following the PC(police cruiser) and so Caesar went to check it out on the crapcycle. Akil the taxi driver was told by a super evil woman to just run him down. Akil delighted in this, for he was a mass murderer from Chalchak who had been smuggled on to the planet by a conspiracy reaching all the way to Count Chocula. In conclusion, Akil is a jerk, and Caesar hates him, but did not trust his bike not to shatter upon contact, and so gave up on the game of chicken.

County Fair. Security? No. But they did have the French. Talk to Ernie Devlin, hear his random drug addled tales of Taco Gorge jump of 85, steel hips, whatever, hilarious but useless. As anticipated. Then to the big top. Where there was a juggler with a scar. Villain discovered. Then we waited til the attacked us. Pretty much. BATTLE IN THE BIG TOP.

Midgets released, midgets who McGuire hates SO MUCH, strong man ammo they are. Sword swallower, who has a giant throat/scimitar. Juggler throws knives, or drops them on himself. Acrobat desperately tries to be agile, but no match for the overpowered Sword of Justice. Clown with acid spritzinator. Magician... with Psi. Weak. Totally. Beat down ensued, Jackie using cotton candy, Watson, lion tamer who wasn't mentioned's chair, hurts buttocks. French come to take credit. Tabernacle. Yeah yeah, Quebec slang, shut up.

Then McGuire shot a midget in the back. Good times.

Go to watch Devlin do his jump. Over buses, in to flaming ring(not through it), then into a bunch of spikes, then into the buses. Watson and Neji, some wimps go to make sure he's not dead, not realizing that he's forgotten more about pain than you'll ever forget about.... pain... forgetting about it. Bomb Voyage kidnaps Yumi, who was there, totally! Merde! Chase ensues, with Caesar driving Devlin's bike, and Jackie foolishly choosing to get on Caesar's bike, which really is crappy. Devlin protected Yumi with the power of his steel spine... plate in his head... lungs... Pretty much everything, that and drugs. And fat. Caesar hit Bomb Voyage, fell down boom, others beat him up. Then Yumi's dad was like, "Yeah you cool," Caesar was like, "Word," then Yumi, Caesar and oddly Devlin all drove off into the sunset. Devlin probably fell asleep and crashed shortly thereafter.

THE END. OF AN ERA.

Note: Special thanks to Caesar for writing this summary.

Jackie
Race: Warchon
Affiliation: IBI (Imperial Bureau of Investigation)
Jackie arrived at Precinct 13 as part of an exchange between the Electran Empire's IBI and Deksiilan authorities. As such, he's foreign to Deksiilan policing procedures in more ways than one, especially given his Warchon heritage and his difficulty in speaking galactic. Even Jackie's colleagues often can't understand the words coming out of his mouth. Like all members of his race, Jackie has dark skin and hair. He also tends to wear black suits with either red or purple ties. In combat, Jackie's reknowned for performing his own crazy stunts, many of which end with his own injury. He's also skilled at improvising with any weapons that happen to be close at hand, be they steel ladders, chairs or cotton candy. It's this kind of resourcefulness that makes Jackie one of the best agents around.

Vayl
Race: Spheran
Affiliation: Precinct 13 District Attourney
As the premise for COPs so eloquently states, the criminal justice system is made up of two separate but equally important parts. Most of the characters introduced thus far can be counted with the first part, the police who solve crimes. The second category includes the district attourneys who prosecute the offenders, and Miss Vayl falls into this category. It is her job to ensure that all the captured criminals are tried and punished in accordance with Deksiilan laws. This obviously puts her at odds with some of the policing methods employed by members of Precinct 13. Despite being in her early middle-age, Miss Vayl has pure white hair hanging to her shoulders. She always wears professional black suits, in addition to dangling gold earrings and many jewelled bracelets.

Dr. Wagner
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Precinct 13 R & D
Dr. Wagner works in research and development at Precinct 13, although this mostly seems to involve managing the equipment depot and occaisonally handing out extremely obvious advice. Still, you can't argue with Wagner's credentials, which include a doctorate and a rather cliched german accent. Like any scientist worth their salt, Dr. Wagner always appears dressed in a white labcoat and oversized loafers. His white hair and mustache are wild and ungroomed, and this thick glasses are constantly in need of polishing.

J. Jonah Jamieson
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Owner of the Cormus Daily Planet
Although technicalities might indicate otherwise, J. Jonah Jamieson seems utterly convinced that he practically owns the city of Cormus. After all, Jamieson has a stranglehold on the Cormus Daily Planet, the city's most circulated newspaper. In so doing, he can control the flow of information and shape it to his will. This mostly seems to involve the use of editorial power to vilify and demonize vigilantes of any form, especially of the masked variety. Jamieson's status as an overbearing blowhard is further demonstrated by the contempt he shows his own staff, commonly referring to their work as nothing more than trash. In keeping with the persona of the domineering boss, Jamieson wears a dress shirt, pants, tie and suspenders. His gray hair is done in a brush cut, and his little mustache is carefully trimmed. He also is in the habit of smoking thick cigars.

Inspector Giraud
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Precinct 6's Surete
Inspector Giraud is something of a legend among the Surete, or at least the french equivalent thereof. Giraud is known not just for his bourgeois sensibilities and his distaste for the British, but also for his observation skills. This has earned him the nickname of The Hound, based on the way he's able to sniff out clues from even the most stale crime scenes. Giraud is customarily dressed professionally in a black three-piece suit, with polished shoes, gold cufflinks and an immaculate black bowler. His similarly shaded mustache is small and slightly curled. When he's not busy sipping from a small cup of espresso, Giraud can usually be found smoking tiny European cigarettes.

Ernie Devlin
Race: Fenixan
Affiliation: Stunt Driver
Though the younger generations might not recognise him, Ernie Devlin remains the most courageous and daring stunt rider in the business. Yeah, he's broken and fractured every bone in his body several times, leading to the insertion of various metal plates. Now well past his prime, Devlin continues to perform dangerous stunts at carnivals and fairs all over the galaxy. He's forgotten more about pain than anyone else will ever remember. About pain. About forgetting about it. Devlin looks the part of a washed up star. He's now rather paunchy, with gray hair and way too many prescription drugs. He wears a white track suit with red and blue stripes, and he rides a similarly covered Devlin Bluestreak bike, which has a habit of bursting into flames after any collision.

Waldo
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Freelance Journalist
Waldo is a freelance travel journalist with a penchant for playing hide and seek at inappropriate times. Regardless of the weather, he can be found wearing jeans, a red and white striped shirt and a matching tuque/scarf combo. Waldo also wears thick glasses and often loses his left shoe. In addition, he loves travelling, and fortunately this allows him to write articles on various attractions which can then be submitted to the Cormus Daily Planet. He lives with his brother Willard, who looks much like him. In fact, it is speculated that the family resemblance would turn family reunions into massive manhunts.