The Last Crusade

Heroes: Saavik, Neji, Wheatie, John Watson, Jackie and Jazz.
Enemies: Cardinal Callistus and Dr. Doom.

Neji – Fugitive's Report 38

On the Run: The attack on the Bleeding Hollow forces barricaded in La Bastille essentially turned the streets of Precinct 6 into a warzone, especially after the arrival of the Church forces. After hours of intense combat, victory was snatched from your hands by Callistus and his Templars of Steel. Escaping from that predicament was a rather close shave. Fortunately, the Gladios seemed preoccupied with seizing the mysterious MINOS. Still, you would not have been able to flee the scene without the assistance of Inspector Valtyrez, who resumed his former habit of arriving just in time to save the day. Once out of La Bastille, you were able to secure transportation by leaping inside one of Cyberdine's black sedans.

The Chief cut you a bit of slack upon your return to the Last Strand, granting you a couple hours of rest. This also gave the rest of your ragtag companions time to find their way back here. Unfortunately, your ranks have been thinned by the absence of Caesar and Sarah Connor, though the latter's disappearance is no surprise given Evadine's presence. As per last time you knew him, Caesar seems to have departed without any warning at all.

Now that you have all regrouped in your impromptu headquarters, the time has come to make a final plan to recover MINOS from Cardinal Callistus and his secret society, and the Chief seems to consider himself eminently suited for that task. The sun is just rising over the city of Cormus as you embark on what will likely be your most difficult mission since joining the police force. It may well be up to you to ensure that the city lives to see another sunrise. No longer do you stand as part of the of the thin blue line, instead you are the razor-thin line that stands between the citizens of Cormus and disaster.

This time, it's do or dye.

You are at full hitpoints and psipoints.

Sapientes Gladio:

-You are still working on a tight deadline, but Inspector Valtyrez's actions at La Bastille suggest he might be willing to grant you an extension, or at least a suspended sentence until these issues are resolved. You sense that Valtyrez may be starting to doubt the methods of Sapientes Gladio, especially as regards an attack on a city monument in order to seize the property of a private company. Still, if you are to obtain absolution, you will have to bring him proof of Callistus' evil plans.

Personal Notes:

-Wheatie reported on his recent mission to Precinct 13, and you were shocked to hear that your office has been given to Inspector Reeves. He has never done anything that would make him worthy of such a working environment, let alone one so carefully appointed.

-This is it. Cardinal Callistus has crossed the line for the last time. It is hard to believe that he could have deceived you regarding his true nature for so long, but it seems that he has deceived himself much longer. In seeking to destroy the darkness, he has become a part of it himself. A cruel irony to have brought down a man who was once an icon of hope for the city and the light. Now that your corneas see him for what he truly is, you are ready to stop him once and for all.

Mini-Objective:

-Save the city from evil in any of its forms.


Wheatie – Fugitive's Report 39

On the Run: The attack on the Bleeding Hollow forces barricaded in La Bastille essentially turned the streets of Precinct 6 into a warzone, especially after the arrival of the Church forces. After hours of intense combat, victory was snatched from your hands by Callistus and his Templars of Steel. Escaping from that predicament was a rather close shave. Fortunately, the Gladios seemed preoccupied with seizing the mysterious MINOS. Still, you would not have been able to flee the scene without the assistance of Inspector Valtyrez, who resumed his former habit of arriving just in time to save the day. Once out of La Bastille, you were able to secure transportation by leaping inside one of Cyberdine's black sedans.

The Chief cut you a bit of slack upon your return to the Last Strand, granting you a couple hours of rest. This also gave the rest of your ragtag companions time to find their way back here. Unfortunately, your ranks have been thinned by the absence of Caesar and Sarah Connor, though the latter's disappearance is no surprise given Evadine's presence. As per last time you knew him, Caesar seems to have departed without any warning at all.

Now that you have all regrouped in your impromptu headquarters, the time has come to make a final plan to recover MINOS from Cardinal Callistus and his secret society, and the Chief seems to consider himself eminently suited for that task. The sun is just rising over the city of Cormus as you embark on what will likely be your most difficult mission since joining the police force. It may well be up to you to ensure that the city lives to see another sunrise. No longer do you stand as part of the of the thin blue line, instead you are the razor-thin line that stands between the citizens of Cormus and disaster.

This time, it's do or dye.

You are at full hitpoints and psipoints.

Notes from Home:

-Apparently, the mail you received since being arrested was being forwarded to Neji's office. You made sure to pick it all up while you were feeding her fish. Surprisingly, your parents actually seem to have taken the initiative to find out about your arrest, possibly because your letters suddenly stopped coming. They seem to have taken this news with a grain of salt, and have instructed you to seek support from local relatives, as is family tradition with any sort of disaster. They furthermore elaborate that this would be Uncle Moose, in case you didn't catch the hint. Unfortunately, they also add that your Uncle Henry is visiting Moose at the moment. You've never got along with Uncle Henry, possibly because he was into this whole nickname thing even before it apparently became 'cool'. Henry is old enough to remember some really ancient ancestor who was named Isaac, and he seems to assume that you're named in his honor, meaning that he always refers to you as 'Junior'. It's very annoying.

Personal Notes:

-Unlike some of your allies, you don't have any problems working with Cyberdine Systems. However, you do have ethical issues with the use of Zoombas in battle. It's inhumane to send them on suicide detonation missions! You can't imagine treating either Little Isaac or Roomba in such a manner. You would never send either of your pets into battle! ...Not again, at least. And you certainly never did so after strapping explosives to their backs.

-It seems like the fate of the city might be in your hands, or something like that. They certainly didn't mention this on the course outline for the work experience course. At the same time, it's not that different from what you've been doing since arriving on Deksiil. When circumstances call for it, you're willing to don the baggy flannel of the Harvester, fighting for wheat and justice. You came to Cormus as an intern, but maybe you'll leave as a hero. That will look pretty good in your internship report, though it's unlikely to make up for your criminal offences. Still, you might as well make the best of a bad situaton.

Mini-Objective:

-Conclude your internship by saving the city of Cormus.


John Watson – Fugitive Doctor 34

On the Run: The attack on the Bleeding Hollow forces barricaded in La Bastille essentially turned the streets of Precinct 6 into a warzone, especially after the arrival of the Church forces. After hours of intense combat, victory was snatched from your hands by Callistus and his Templars of Steel. Escaping from that predicament was a rather close shave. Fortunately, the Gladios seemed preoccupied with seizing the mysterious MINOS. Still, you would not have been able to flee the scene without the assistance of Inspector Valtyrez, who resumed his former habit of arriving just in time to save the day. Once out of La Bastille, you were able to secure transportation by leaping inside one of Cyberdine's black lorries.

The Chief cut you a bit of slack upon your return to the Last Strand, granting you a couple hours of rest. This also gave the rest of your ragtag companions time to find their way back here. Unfortunately, your ranks have been thinned by the absence of Caesar and Sarah Connor, though the latter's disappearance is no surprise given Evadine's presence. As per last time you knew him, Caesar seems to have departed without any warning at all.

Now that you have all regrouped in your impromptu headquarters, the time has come to make a final plan to recover MINOS from Cardinal Callistus and his secret society, and the Chief seems to consider himself eminently suited for that task. The sun is just rising over the city of Cormus as you embark on what will likely be your most difficult mission since defeating Moriarty. It may well be up to you to ensure that the city lives to see another sunrise. No longer do you stand as part of the of the thin blue line, instead you are the razor-thin line that stands between the citizens of Cormus and disaster.

This time, it's do or dye.

You are at full hitpoints and psipoints.

Newspaper Headlines:

-This morning's paper went to press before the conclusion of the fighting at La Bastille, but it does have some striking shots of the conflict taken from the vantage of a press helicopter. The fires spreading across La Bastille stand out starkly against the night sky, and will probably serve to rile up the whole of the city's French population. Really, the French are far too sensitive. The picture is escorted by an article from Eddie Brock, denoting the conflict as being between french revolutionaries and police forces.

Personal Notes:

-Mycroft Holmes may be a fool, but at least you can always trust him to be fooled. And there's no one with a sharper wit than the Crime Doctor. After all, the effectiveness of placebos suggest that one of the main skills of a medical practioner lies in persuading their patients that a given treatment plan will be successful. Perhaps it's time you employed that bedside manner on the mayor. The Cardinal isn't the only one capable of pulling the wool over Mycroft Holmes.

-You recently received a wire from Wiggins. Lesser minds might be surprised that such a missive could reach a wanted fugitive, but you've long acknowledged the value of wires. Anyway, the lads have apparently been quite anxious regarding your absence, and have been eagerly awaiting a chance to assist you in your current investigations. They've promised to behave properly this time around.

-It doesn't take a detective of your experience to recognise that Cardinal Callistus represents a significant danger to this city. You still don't know what MINOS actually is, though you have a few theories, but the fact that this evil society is willing to do anything to obtain it is reason enough to fear it. Besides, it and all of the treasures hoarded by these Gladio belong in a museum! Preferably the British Museum. And you intend to ensure that they get there, just as soon as you perform one last major operation. It may end up being fairly invasive, but you'll lessen the pain by giving out a few shots.

Mini-Objective:

-Close the case on the dangers that threaten the city of Cormus.


Saavik – Fugitive's Report 16

On the Run: The attack on the Bleeding Hollow forces barricaded in La Bastille essentially turned the streets of Precinct 6 into a warzone, especially after the arrival of the Church forces. After hours of intense combat, victory was snatched from your hands by Callistus and his Templars of Steel. Escaping from that predicament was a rather close shave. Fortunately, the Gladios seemed preoccupied with seizing the mysterious MINOS. Still, you would not have been able to flee the scene without the assistance of Inspector Valtyrez, who resumed his former habit of arriving just in time to save the day. Once out of La Bastille, you were able to secure transportation by leaping inside one of Cyberdine's black sedans.

The Chief cut you a bit of slack upon your return to the Last Strand, granting you a couple hours of rest. This also gave the rest of your ragtag companions time to find their way back here. Unfortunately, your ranks have been thinned by the absence of Caesar and Sarah Connor, though the latter's disappearance is no surprise given Evadine's presence. As per last time you knew him, Caesar seems to have departed without any warning at all.

Now that you have all regrouped in your impromptu headquarters, the time has come to make a final plan to recover MINOS from Cardinal Callistus and his secret society, and the Chief seems to consider himself eminently suited for that task. The sun is just rising over the city of Cormus as you embark on what will likely be your most difficult mission since joining the police force. It may well be up to you to ensure that the city lives to see another sunrise. No longer do you stand as part of the of the thin blue line, instead you are the razor-thin line that stands between the citizens of Cormus and disaster.

This time, it's do or dye.

You are at full hitpoints and psipoints.

Tricorder Analysis:

-Recovering your tricorder was a large boost for your morale. It seems irrational to form such an attachment to a mere piece of machinery, but it is a part of your past and a part of you. Fortunately, it seems that Vladislav was not capable of breaking the encryption. He already has too much that you value in his clutches. In any case, you somehow find the cold, machine logic of your tricorder extremely reassuring. It is a state of calm that you hope to achieve again someday.

Impersonal Notes:

-You have sixteen hours left in this race to provide Valtyrez with evidence about Rhadamanthys and the Cardinal. You can only hope that this is enough time. Though you are not one to rely on such things, you cannot help but feel that Valtyrez is a good man, and you do not wish to come to any more blows with him.

-Events at the Bastille have caused you to recall your first assignment with the Cormus Police Force. Young Enjolras, the leader of the student protesters, spent much time discussing his distinct culure. His words still strike a chord with you, and you imagine they would strike true with the French quarter of Cormus, particularly after last night. It is no surprise that the French have consequently been preaching revolution, especially after having Inspector Lestrade traipsing all through their district, introducing himself with no mercy. You know full well how hard it is to exist in an environment as part of a very small minority.

-Cardinal Callistus must be stopped. Whatever he is planning does not seem to be predicated on reason or logic, potentially leading to disaster regardless of his initial intentions. But in stopping him, you must not fall back on the dark methods of your past. To do so would put you in the same danger that caused the Cardinal to fall from grace.

You pray for guidance in this, that Nobellius may keep you from giving in to your darker urges.

Mini-Objective:

-Restore logic and sanity to this city by defeating the Cardinal and his secret society of religious zealots.


Jackie - Fugitive's Report 26

Current Predicament: Upon exiting the catacombs where you were imprisoned, and defeating several members of Sapientes Gladio including the inebriated Father Ted, you found yourself on the streets of downtown Cormus. A precarious location indeed, especially for fugitives from the law. Fortunately, a quick call on your radio brought the remote-controlled Gaidinmobile right to your location. From there, it was only a short ride across town to meet up with The Chief and Dr. Wagner at their headquarters.

And in some ways, it could definitely be called a headquarters. That's because the Chief's new center of operations is the Last Strand, a barbershop deep within an ethnic section of Precinct 13. Apparently, this location has been used as a field base by the enigmatic branch of Deksiil's CIA known as The BROTHERHOOD, with which The Chief was once affiliated.

While the barbers were busy removing any evidence that your soul patch ever existed, the Chief arranged a meeting with Evadine, the CEO of Cyberdine. Not surprisingly, she was also interested in recovering her company's property, MINOS, from La Bastille, and she was willing to assist your team with all sorts of really cool robots and technology. Unfortunately, they didn't seem to want you to accompany them on that mission, despite the fact that you probably would have been able to upgrade all those crazy robots. Instead, the Chief sent you to make contact with some group called the BROTHERHOOD. This involved going down to a poolhall called the Snooker Shack, where you tried to greet the brothers in the way that Chris Tucker taught you. This resulted in a short scuffle, and your ejection from the premises, but hopefully the message got through to this BROTHERHOOD.

The Chief cut you a bit of slack upon your return to the Last Strand, granting you a little rest. This also gave the rest of your ragtag companions time to find their way back here. Unfortunately, your ranks have been thinned by the absence of Caesar and Sarah Connor, though the latter's disappearance is no surprise given Evadine's presence. As per last time you knew him, Caesar seems to have departed without any warning at all.

Now that you have all regrouped in your impromptu headquarters, the time has come to make a final plan to recover MINOS from Cardinal Callistus and his secret society, and the Chief seems to consider himself eminently suited for that task. The sun is just rising over the city of Cormus as you embark on what will likely be your most difficult mission since joining the police force. It may well be up to you to ensure that the city lives to see another sunrise. No longer do you stand as part of the of the thin blue line, instead you are the razor-thin line that stands between the citizens of Cormus and disaster.

This time, it's do or dye.

You are at one hitpoint.

All your possessions that were left in the Gaidinmobile have been recovered.

(Yes, this means you're back in the Tuxedo.)

Personal Notes:

-It looks like you were right about the Cardinal and his church all along. It's too bad no one listened to you earlier. It's no wonder that they would try to lock you up. They probably don't want their true nature to be revealed. In fact, you're certain that they're still probably intent on capturing you before your information goes public. It's a good thing they have this whole MINOS thing to distract them at the moment. Then again, it's not like they'd be able to catch you anyway. After all, you have a big headstart, and you know all the local customs for every precinct in this city. You'll blend in, disappear; they'll never see you again. Until you show up to foil their plans, that is.

-It sounds like the city of Cormus may be in great peril. Local police don't seem up to dealing with this challenge, which is no surprise. What they need is a supercop: a police officer who is also a superhero. That's a part you're totally fit to play. You've already saved the girl. Now it's time for you to save this city.

Mini-Objective:

-Save the city!

Adventure Summary


"Has she come out yet?"

"No."

"How long has she been in there?"

"Ever since the funeral. Can't really blame her, though."

"But damnit, why can't she mope at home?"

"I don't really think she wants to be alone right now."

"Still, even her now Reeves-free office is still an office... not her own personal sanctuary! though it was fun watching her kick him out..."
"I heard Mycroft Holmes isn't leaving his office without an armed escort after what happened..."

"Can't really blame him. It took both Saavik and Wheatie, along with some help from that not-officer, John Watson, to keep her from ripping out his ribcage and wearing it as a hat!"

"I didn't think Armorians were that violent... Although, she still wears the Sapientes Gladio ring he gave her, you know. That's gotta count for something"
"Well, it's not exactly the first time she's attempted to rip out someone's skeletal system... She needs to be reminded what exactly she's fighting for... especially now."
"Come to think of it, everybody that was on that mission seems a little out of sorts, what the hell happened out there, anyway? Must be hard, she only really cared for two people... and they're both dead -- one a betrayer, the other killed by the betrayal."
"Damnit Debbie, this is hardly the time for nostalgia! She'll survive, she just has to hurt for a while. She is a fighter, after all."
"Damnit Mr. The Chief, I'm sick of being treated like a second-class secretary! Tell me the damn story!"

"Ok, ok, ok... Damnit! What is it with girls getting all psycho on me?!"


It's not exactly like we had a lot of time to get ourselves together. After the raid on La Bastille, we knew that whatever MINOS was, the Cardinal had it and we had to stop him from doing whatever it was he wanted to do with it. Unfortunately, we still had no clue what MINOS was, so we grilled the closest person who might know something about it -- Evadine wasn't terribly enthused about telling us about the top-secret nature of MINOS, but given the right persuasion, eventually coughed up the dirt. Apparently, MINOS was a giant A-bomb set to explode over Cormus. Damnit, why are all the religious types always fanatics?! Makes me glad I don't go to church. Anyway, this bomb thing was supposedly designed to detonate and kill all the heathens. Naturally, at this point, Jackie was a little distressed and, while Neji should have been delighted, she seemed to have the strange feeling that there was a but somewhere in Evadine's words.

Sure enough, there was a big problem, field tests on the bomb had never been conducted. So the Cardinal was basically running around with a live explosive that could wipe Cormus off the map. Of course, I had to come up with a sure-fire plan to stop all the religious crazies at the end of the day. The scene at The Last Strand, our base of operations was looking pretty grim. We knew we couldn't take on the Cardinal by ourselves -- the Templars of Steel saw to that very easily -- and having Tairix kill everything, while fun and efficient, doesn't really make for a fun PC adventure; so our only chance was to divide and conquer, sending out all my minions around town to see if they can't round me up an army capable of saving this city.

And so the traipsing about town began. Upon wandering into the Keg, Neji was able to find her old accomplice, John McGuire, who was never adverse to a good, old-fashioned rumble in the church (as long as he could continue indulging the holy spirits). Meanwhile, Jackie promptly got thrown out of the Snooker Shack after walking in and saying "How goes it, my Niggas?" to a room full of black people... also, for not being female. Watson went back to his Baker Street Dumpster to recruit his irregulars -- damnit! Kids aren't exactly the kind of crack fighting force I wanted (as much as History would care to say otherwise), but I suppose I'll take what I can get.

Wheatie, meanwhile, had his own adventure, going to some sort of gun shop called the MOOSE HUNT, which he had expected to be run by his Uncle Moose. (fancy that...) Instead, he found out that his uncle had a rather... unexpected visitor and an even more unexpected nickname (if that were possible). Apparently, his uncle Henry was visiting Cormus from his prestigeous(?) history professor job at Boyo-Boyo-Rifle University in Middle-of-Nowhere, Denchul. Wheatie, for his part, seemed incensed at his uncle's instance in referring to him as "Junior" -- after all, they had named the dog "Wheatie". No wonder this kid has serious nickname issues... Damnit! Does this department have to send another of my officers to psychotherapy?!

Elsewhere, in a streak of atrocities, each more outrageous than the last, Saavik made her way to the Space Port -- only to be met by the most pathetic band of men genetics can devise... red shirts. Of course Starfleet would be around the Cormus Space Port -- thankfully, however, Captain Kirk was nowhere to be found. Neji, meanwhile, decided to follow up on Jackie's lead at the Snooker Shack, finding herself suddenly accosted by a bunch of rowdy, jive-talkin, black men -- one of which with the audacity to drape an arm over the Armorian's shoulders. Thankfully, (for them) Neji's will check was sufficient to prevent her from causing them bodily harm for trying to hit on her and not being Armorian ...or Valtyrez. At long last, Jazz and THE BROTHERHOOD were added to the forces readying to smash the Church at my command. (Man, I love having power!) Later, in an encounter of unparalleled smarminess, Watson went to the Daily Planet and had a smarmy conversation with his own (totally wrong) end boss prediction, J. Jonah Jamieson. In the end, the Crime Doctor was able to secure the use of one of JJJ's media helicopters, but not before the media mogul admitted that while he may own the city, the Church belonged to Callistus. (As in some sort of Cormusian Vatican, or something)

Jackie, finally succeeding in NOT offending someone, was able to recruit some of his countrymen working at Warchon Wok to lay the smackdown on some Millius-loving heretics while Watson managed to wrangle some taxi's from DC Cabs before setting out on a long trek to see Mayor Mycroft Holmes, unknown that his efforts would be completely wasted due to what Neji had been up to only a few moments previous.

Apparently completely oblivious to her fugitive status, Neji calmly strolled into the Precinct 13 building, exchanging greetings with the Señor at the front desk (which consisted mostly of her assuring him there was no crime and that he should go back to dealing with La Familia). She wasn't able to get very far, however, until she felt the familiar 'whoosh' of a teleport behind her and she whirled around to come face to face with the stern visage of Inspector Valtyrez. And if she felt a little fluttery inside, she would blame it on the latent psychic energy in the air... yeah... right... ♥
Understandably, Valtyrez was wondering what the hell Neji was doing risking apprehension by waltzing into the Precinct. The time he had given her to find evidence against the Cardinal had not yet elapsed, so what the (former?) inspector was doing was extremely dangerous. The two ducked into Valtyrez's office (you mean MY office, you idiot!) to continue their conversation so as to not arouse suspicion. Neji dropped the bomb that we were going to jump the Cardinal before he was able to unleash MINOS on the city. Coming from Neji of all people, who would be one of the ones to enjoy an entire planet of Millius-loving peeps, this statement seemed to confuse Valtyrez who, of course, knew all about MINOS's raison d'être, having been the guinea pig for its creation. (Where did we get this guy?) What he didn't know, however, was the lack of field testing done on the project and the liklihood that MINOS would blow up everything and everyone in Cormus. The Cardinal had to be stopped.

After a moment of contemplation, Valtyrez seemed to approve Neji's argument, giving the younger(?) Armorian permission to start recruiting police officers for her official(?) raid on the Church of Cormus. (The same permission Mycroft would have given Watson) He also opened up a secret closet in his office and revealed a gleaming set of Full Armorian Armour that he clearly had spent hours polishing re-bestowed upon Neji. You know, for someone who has no need of items, is it sad that Neji's ENTIRE item list (of 2 things) was given to her by Valtyrez?
More on the Wheatie front. As if being reunited with his Uncle Henry wasn't bad enough, Wheatie managed to get completely shut out of the University of Cormus with a series of failed checks (oh the irony...). Ready to get back to something more in keeping with his rural upbringing, he ventured into Eastview Bowl (undoubtedly attached to a Mystery Shoppe with low, low prices) to be met with a couple interesting sights. First, Frozone ice bowling his way to yet another 450 game, second, a horde of veterans and other old folks engaging in the quintessential old folks game, 5-pin bowling (at least it wasn't the lawn variety). Eager to get some more action into their decidedly dreary lives, the veterans jumped at the chance to get in one more mission -- ...well, perhaps jumped is a bit of an overstatement. In any case, both Frozone and the veterans joined our cause.

Last on our list of places to hit up for aid was the very place we had narrowly escaped from only a few days prior, the Cormus Police Academy (which, surprisingly, was still in business at least until the end of the term). When Neji got there, she spent a long time determining which of the three trials she would be most able to complete. After a long conversation encompassing all of the available PCs and their meta-gaming powers, it was decided that the 100% chance of her being female was probably the smartest idea. However, it was only determined later that the Disguise check would have yielded Joachim, and the Toughness check would have given Cimarron to the party... unfortunately, and only to Neji's realization after she declared her check... for the final encounter... the party would have... Rocky Wang, much to the utter displeasure of Neji and Saavik (>_<)-- the former decided to alleviate this situation by pegging Mr. Wang in the head with a dodgeball before heading back to The Last Strand

Once all those slackers decided to wander back to our HQ, we had to decide what all to bring with us on our raid. Cyberdine Systems graciously volunteered some of their Zoombas™ and some elite security guards -- then again, I don't know if it was so much volunteering so much as it was them being responsible for the whole thing in the first place. Regardless, we decided that there would be three main forces of attack that we could send troops to: The Church's Front Gates, The Back Alley Brawl, and the Park. Uncle Henry and the Anthropologist managed to hit it off almost immediately, and THE BROTHERHOOD met the Wok. The plan was that while we were keeping Sapientes Gladio and the Templars of Steel (CLEARLY, Cormus's hottest new rock group) busy, Ben Gates (who has miraculously showed up at this point ^__^) would lead our crack team of Neji, Wheatie, Saavik, and Jackie (oh yeah, that not-cop, Watson, came too...) into the church via the catacombs and "deal" with the Cardinal. Oh god... if this is our crack team, we're doomed.

Emerging from the catacombs, Neji, Wheatie, Saavik, Jackie, Watson, and Ben Gates were ready to settle things once and for all... Cardinal Callistus seemed to be waiting for them, standing in front of a magnifiscent stained glass mural that had cast a colourful design over the floor. Ben Gates and Callistus immediately engaged in some playful bantering until Neji got sick of not being included and demanded to know if Callistus was indeed the end boss. She didn't so much get a response in the affirmative as she got a blast of some type of energy from Callistus unsheathing his sword. The impact of that energy with the Armorian's signature shield created a mighty explosion and when the dust settled, Neji was nowhere to be found -- though she did walk in from the other side of the battlefield, looking perfectly unscathed, a moment later. Perhaps this is some of the strange, foreign ninja magic previously elluded to by some adventure summaries.

Jackie, Saavik, and Watson engaged the enemy as best they knew how while Wheatie seemed to spend most of his time (that wasn't spent badzzzeeerrrming wicked Moon Attacks) taking notes in order to Tell on Callistus later. Neji meanwhile, in a pinnacle of level-gaining, finally decided to show everyone exactly why her eyes were all creepy as she used her incredibly powerful corneas to deal out some Deathblade flavoured justice courtesy of her own spinal cord. Unfortunately, her luck was not to last as Callistus's own deathblade was perhaps a little more than she had been hoping for, cleaving through her soft flesh and leaving her a bloody, dead heap on the floor. A wayward gunshot... from someone... shattered the stained glass window... which did something... we're just not quite sure what. Ben Gates, on the other hand, alternated between bashing Callistus with the constitution, giving history lessons, and FREAKING OUT... the latter maneuver he seemed to partake of rather frequently.

At some point, and for a reason nobody is quite sure of, Neji was miraculously brought back to life, but being critically low on Psi-points, was back to her adventure 1 combat skills: untrained punch. (whoo!) Oh well, clearly Callistus knew he was done for, so it didn't take that much longer to finish him off -- too bad MINOS was on the move, so nobody could really relax, even if they were perhaps moments away from death... again.Although, given what happened, I'm pretty sure Neji probably would have stayed dead had she had the choice...
Some idiot in an armoured truck was driving around Cormus with an armed explosive that would probably take out everyone and everything for as far as any eye could see. Of course, we all knew what that meant: driving mini-game! Being very accustomed to driving even in spite of her absolute lack of any sort of driving skill, Neji hopped into the closest vehicle and slid behind the wheel. Watson, finally deciding to be useful for once, jumped into the back seat and served as Neji's backseat driver, his intellegence proving somewhat useful given the meager capabilities of their car. Jackie and Saavik comandeered the radar car and helped pinpoint the armoured truck's location. Wheatie The Harvester, flying high above the streets of Cormus... was absolutely useless as he had no Psi-points with which to do anything. Being able to effectuate the majority of their driving checks with ease, it didn't take long to track down the truck and incapacitate it...

Only to find the COPs post-end-boss-end-boss... DR. DOOM! (yeah, we were surprised, too) Let it be known that two of the PCs totally called that we'd be fighting Dr. Doom -- we were just a few adventures too early. But really, with a name like Dr. Doom, who would have thought that he was a Doom Priest? Also, who would have thought that he SUCKED? Mind you, compared to a bunch of painfully and pathetically weak PCs, that was enough to make for quite the excercise in futility, with Dr. Doom doing most of the damage to himself with his own Doom Lightning. It didn't need to take much to take down the evil doctor -- just without the capacity to do it, it took a loooooooong time.

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Eventually we were able to take down Dr. Doom. In the back of his Doom-mobile™, we found what we were looking for, MINOS.


For your viewing pleasure (and the fact that I'm running out of gimmicks...), the rest of this summary will be written as an homage to Season 1. And so I give you COPs -- in Cimarron Minor.


So, we found out that this Doom guy had a... BOMB(!)... in his... VEHICLE(!). It's really too bad... our heroes didn't have a... RIFLE! (Damn hippies and their... GUN LAWS...) Anyway, since none of them had any... PROFICIENCIES... in BOMB DEFUSING(!)... they had a bit of a... PROBLEM!

Thankfully... VALTYREZ WAS THERE(!)... and the PCs refused to talk to him until he said... "Valtyrez is here!" He couldn't fix the... BOMB, either, though. So, he... DECIDED to fly the bomb away until it... EXPLODED! (Though if you ask Cimarron, if he wanted to die, he'd be better off using a... RIFLE!) Neji got all... UPSET! and didn't want him to go, but he... FLEW OFF... with the... BOMB! He flew towards the... RIVER! And when he plunged into the water... and BOOM! The result was a giant... TSUNAMI! And our heroes rushed to the waters' edge to... WATCH! ...and cry in some cases... for a long, long, time...
When we next saw our... HEROES(!), they were at Valtyrez's... FUNERAL! Some were... SAD(!)... others were... NOT! Instead of giving a... EULOGY... like he was supposed to... Mayor Mycroft... HOLMES... decided to announce the next... ELECTION! Neji has vowed a slow and painful death to any idiot that desecrates the memory of her man.

And... with that stunning... PICTURE(!) of Neji being forcefully... RESTRAINED... by Saavik, Wheatie, and Watson the final curtain... CLOSES... on COPs.

Note: Special thanks to Neji for writing this summary.

New Characters

Vegetable Lasagna
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Tourist
Who is this guy?! That's the question that's on everyone's tongue when they consider the mysterious man known only as Vegetable Lasagna. He seems to be a mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in an unfashionable red and green suit that makes him resemble his curious namesake. Although officially a tourist visiting Cormus to take in the sights, Vegetable Lasagna was perfectly willing to be recruited into an attack on the downtown church, ostensibly because he thought it was part of some crazy tourism package. His Michellin guide couldn't prepare him for such conflict, but fortunately his ability to cheat any sort of system serves him in good stead when he's pressed into battle.

Uncle Henry
Race: Denchulli
Affiliation: University Professor
Uncle Henry is one of the few members of Wheatie's extensive family to have achieved any form of post-secondary education. As a professor of galactic literature at the University of Deksiil, Henry is known as something of an Attila, who was never giddy, even when he was a schoolboy. More locally, he's known for criticising Wheatie's nickname. After all, they named the dog Wheatie. Henry believes that Wheatie should properly be addressed as Junior, given that he's named after an elder Isaac far up the family chain. Uncle Henry can be described as an older, dignified man with a short beard and glasses. He usually wears a small cap which conceals his balding head, and he is prone to carrying umbrellas and quoting Charlemagne.

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