Adventure 23 -- Fowl Play

Fowl Play

Heroes: Neji, Wheatie, Jackie and Senor Sceptical.
Enemies: The Guy Who Just Kicked Chris Tucker, The Black Bronco and Marco Escobeto.

Neji – Beat Cop's Report 21

Recent Duties: Two days have passed since the Hero's Gambit comic convention. Public opinion is still mixed regarding the success of the event. Many of the fans present felt betrayed by the police forces and their attempts to arrest many of the heroes. Of course, you made sure that those arrested did not include any true superheroes. Still, you have to question policing priorities that would devote officers to arresting these lesser heroes while known villains like Professor Moriarty and Devastator remain at large.

Tidings from the Campaign Trail: (News regarding Cormus' coming election.)

-According to recent polls, Don Atchison remains the most popular candidate in the mayoral race, followed closely by Mr. Riven and his Cormus Party. Atchison has placed his priorities on policing and fitness programs. In regards to the former, Atch has hailed the arrest of several so-called superheroes as a victory of the police over vigilante interferance. This stance earned Atchison front page coverage on this morning's Daily Planet. Meanwhile, analysts note that Mycroft Holmes' campaign has been badly damaged by his attempts to distance himself from his more famous brother. Of course, all these standings could rapidly change as the candidates head towards the first of several public election forums.

The Street Beat: (As a beat cop, it's your job to walk the streets of Cormus and keep the peace. In so doing, it's easy to gather rumours and whispers about some of the illicit activities occuring within nearby districts, and the criminal organizations performing said deeds.)

-It looks like Atch's campaign against superheroes might not be as easy as he claims. Already, new superheroes are emerging to replace those that have been arrested. In particular, you've heard about some American superhero who calls himself Plastic Man. From what you've heard, this guy is supposed to be able to contort and stretch his body in unbelievable ways. He is also said to have a penchant for making cheesy and often irrelevant remarks. Frankly, you would say that calling this Plastic Man a superhero is more than a bit of a stretch.

Personal Notes:

-As you predicted, Don Atchison has announced that part of his fitness platform includes the formation of a community dodgeball league. What you didn't expect was that you would be put in charge of setting up this league yourself. You've already been in contact with Atch's aides, and they say that founding the league within the police force will be a great way to get the ball rolling. Or thrown, as the case may be.

-Furthermore, they've already started setting up promotional efforts for the league that you have yet to create. In particular, Atch's people have booked you into a slot right before today's big football game at Griffiths stadium. They want you to present some kind of dodgeball exhibition that will get people interested in the league. Of course, first you have to come up with at least some ideas for the league itself.

Mini-Objective:

-Set up the community dodgeball league that you've been espousing for so long.

Wheatie – Legal Assistant's Report 22

Recent Duties: You've spent most of the two days since Hero's Gambit recovering from the fallout of that event. Not only have you been obligated to defend yourself from being typecast as a greasy comic book geek, but you've also been forced to deal with the legal ramifications of the convention. Inspector Lestrade arrested several of the superheroes present, and you've been helping build the crown case against them. This has obviously caused much distress for the legal department's most junior member, Nicholas Chesterly.

Tidings from the Campaign Trail: (News regarding Cormus' coming election.)

Notes from Home:

-Despite Uncle Moose's promises, you haven't yet been able to enjoy any fresh eggs. That's because he mistakenly bought a rooster instead of a chicken. Yeah, it seems like maybe he's been living in the city a bit too long. Anyway, this definitely explains the poor egg production. You've decided to name the rooster Little Isaac, and you've taken it upon yourself to provide him with a proper upbringing.

Book Report:

-You took out a book from the library that focuses on roosters. It's partly in spanish, but fortunately that language is pretty similar to french anyway. You believe the book seems to be advocating the importance of exercise, especially when trying to raise a healthy rooster.

Legal Report:

-Responsibility for trying Rawk Hawk has fallen to Precinct 13, while Union Jack has remained in the custody of Precinct 17 and Aquaman is being held by Precinct 3's Coast Guard. In your efforts to come up with a case, you've also uncovered Hawk's secret identity. It turns out he's actually one Blake Hawksley, a hotshot pilot with an aerial stunt team known as the Wild Hawks. Nicholas Chesterly, in particular, was shocked to learn of this information.

Personal Notes:

-Nicholas Chesterly remains really impressed by the collection of autographed hero cards you brought back from the convention. He was slightly less impressed by the football tickets you received from the Black Bronco, but you decided to give them to him anyway. After all, they came right from the hands of a so-called superhero.

-On the other hand, you weren't impressed by the quality of that convention. The presence of the Anthropologist as a bonafide superhero was just the nail in the coffin. At least they had good soup there. If only you could have had more of that shark fin soup.

Mini-Objective:

-Support the proper upbringing of Little Isaac.

Jackie - Agent's Report 12

Recent Duties: Two days have passed since you defeated the racist superhero that some people know as Aquaman. You prefer to refer to him as White Fish. More importantly, it's been two days since you had some great white shark fin soup, though in truth you're hesitant to make assumptions about the shark's race.

Tidings from the Campaign Trail: (News regarding Cormus' coming election.)

Classified Information:

-Mayor Don Atchison has been proposing all sorts of policing initiatives as part of his election platform. One such plan involves a partnership with Cyberdine Systems that aims to leverage the use of robotics for policing activities. Apparently, this project has actually been under development for quite some time. You're not quite sure what it all means, but you've heard other agents complain that these machines might someday replace organic cops. Of course, some would say that you're already a machine, at least in your capacity to suffer injuries without complaint, so you probably don't have anything to worry about.

Personal Notes:

-According to Chris Tucker, all the tickets for the big football game being held this afternoon between the Cormus Broncos and some Electran team are sold out. This wouldn't normally concern you, but given that Tucker is both very loud and prone to complaining, you've agreed to use your investigative skills to search for some tickets. Getting Tucker good seats for the game may be the only way to shut down 7-11, though you have a feeling that it will at best be a temporary closure.

Mini-Objective:

-Obtain football tickets for the coming game at Griffiths Stadium for yourself and Chris Tucker.

Senor Jose Skeptical - Receptionist's Report 3

Recent Duties: Amigo, it was just as you suspected. That Hero's Gambit convention that was held two days ago turned out to be a hotbed of crime and hysteria. Fortunately, you were on hand to deal with the criminals and their evil plots. Some people claim that these superheroes are not criminals at all, but you are highly sceptical of this point. After all, why would honest citizens conceal their identities behind masks and complicated costumes? Surely it can only be because these superheroes have something to hide. That is the hallmark of the criminal. With several of them out of the way, the city's recent crime wave is sure to have reached its end.

Tidings from the Campaign Trail: (News regarding Cormus' coming election.)

Superhero Sightings: (Senor, these superheroes are always trying to meddle where they do not belong. They, above all others, cannot be trusted. In fact, you suspect that most of them have been stretching their necks out a bit too much lately. Adios!)

-Senor! You have heard rumours that the American superhero, Plasticman, may be on his way to Cormus. You can't imagine why such a criminal would dare stick his neck out into your jurisdiction, but you suspect it may have something to do with some phony story about a giant plant monster that is weak against water. A plant that is weak against water? Surprisingly enough, you've found that even such a ridiculous concept has been enough in the past to spark hysteria among the populace. You will have to ensure that this does not occur.

Family Ties: (As a good family man, you are always trying to look out for your very large, extended array of relatives. A man has to keep his priorities straight, and you cannot believe anything but la familia could sit at the top of that list.)

-Cock-fighting seems to be a very tempermental sport, and over the years it has cost Marcellino, and consequently you, a lot of money. However, he seems quite confident about the tournament being held at Amigo's later this afternoon. He's flown in a ringer from Ecuador who is 68-0. Of course, Marcellino's victory is all the more assured by your 'ringside' assistance. It is about time he started paying you back.

Personal Notes:

-With several superheroes arrested, you're confident that the city should be safe for at least the next several months. As such, it's about time you put your priorities back where they belong: on la familia. Of course, cash is always short for a man who has to not only support a family, but also a large extended family of often unemployed relatives.

Mini-Objective:

-Ensure that Marcellino's rooster wins the cock-fighting championship.

Adventure Summary

Work was quiet at Precinct 13, and Senor Jose Enrique Sceptical knew the reason. It was because many of the city's REAL criminals � the super-heroes � had been arrested during the Hero's Gambit comic book convention. In fact, things were so quiet that the Senor declared his intention to take the later part of the afternoon off.

Jackie and Neji, also at Monk's, probably didn't care about this, as they intended to do something that didn't involve the other PCs for the remainder of the adventure. That left Senor and Wheatie to motivate the rest of the action. The latter had just arrived at the cafe with a wheat-golden rooster nestled in his arms. Apparently, his Uncle Moose had purchased the bird with farm fresh eggs in mind, but hadn't realized that only about half of all chickens are capable of filling this need. As such, �Little Isaac� had been trusted to Wheatie, who had every intention of raising him as a 'good rooster.' He had a book written in spanish that allegedly told him how to do just that, although the Senor was rather sceptical of this text and demanded to see it for himself.

Not long after Wheatie had finished showing off Little Isaac than he received a phone-call from his Uncle Moose. The latter had entered Little Isaac in an upcoming cock-fight later that afternoon, and was intending to win big off of the little fellow. Wheatie immediately protested, maintaining that Little Isaac had to grow up as a law-abiding chicken. A conveniently nearby Senor Sceptical added his own scepticism towards such events. Moose argued that just because Wheatie was a has-been, he shouldn't make Little Isaac a never-was, but Wheatie was adamant that he would not permit such a barbaric and violent sport. It was a choice Senor Sceptical heartily agreed with, somewhat to Wheatie's surprise who wasn't used to the Senor agreeing with anything.

Meanwhile, Jackie was on the case. After the requisite sessions of sending the others out of the room, he and Chris Tucker went down to Sin City, seeking out the crimelord known only as Juntao. In KD's seedy diner, Chris barged in claiming to be Mr. Juntao's lawyer and promptly got kicked in the face by an anonymous goon. Jackie was forced to burst through the window and intervene. It was 6 on 2, but Chris wasn't so much interested in winning the fight as he was in finding out who the hell just kicked him. The Guy Who Just Kicked Chris Tucker, however, had found the act incredibly satisfying, and planned to repeat it as many times as possible, without being identified from his anonymous comrades. In the end, Jackie and Chris limped away from the diner, badly beaten, but with the latter immensely satisfied at having taken down his smarmy agressor.

Back at the precinct, Wheatie received another phonecall. This time it was from an unidentified, foreign swarthy fellow who demanded Little Isaac's presence at the cock-fight, since he had already been signed up, and threatened Uncle Moose's life should this fail to occur. Senor Sceptical, again conveniently on-hand, recommended against complying, but Wheatie feared for his Uncle's life and took the matter to the Chief. The Chief decided to make Little Isaac into an honourary police officer and send him into the fight in hopes of uncovering the identities of the men who had threatened his uncle.

This was followed by a dramatic training montage for Little Isaac, in which he ran about the precinct chased by Jackie, picked up corn and soaked in a warm bath of water prepared by Eldrige. All the time, the ominous form of the Senor lurked in the background, and Wheatie went so far as to accuse him of being in with the cock-fighting ring, at which Sceptical could only glower and skulk off.

Wheatie's suspicions were soon to be confirmed however. As he was about to leave for the fight, Senor Sceptical arrived at his desk, wearing intimidating sun-glasses and a black leather jacket. He demanded that Little Isaac must go down in the second round of the tournament. Wheatie refused, declaring the match was essential to saving his Uncle Moose and he needed to teach the bird good values. Senor could only declare that Big Wheatie was making a big mistake.

Wheatie soon arrived at Amigo's in Precinct 8 where the fight was taking place, where he found himself face to face with none other than the Anthropologist, who had his own contender for Little Isaac: Mm-pbt-pbbt Bootoo Jr., a giant pellican. In spite of the size disadvantage, Little Isaac was victorious and moved onto the second round.

Meanwhile, Senor Sceptical met up with his cousin Marcellino, and the two chortled over their own ringer of a contender: El Gigantes, a gigantic white rooster from Ecuador who looked more like a dog with a sock on its head. The giant faced a tough first match against the Fowl Thing from the Deep, but edged through by a hair. Little Isaac proved a considerably easier opponent, with Wheatie throwing himself ontop of his chicken at the last second as its defeat seemed imminent, allowing El Gigantes to advance to the final.

The backer of the other finalist was a mysterious man engaged in doing mathematics by the sideline, one Colonel Namor. His own bird, the Roman Rooster also boasted an impressive record, but in an upset of the odds, El Gigantes pulled through by the narrowest of margins. Namor was impressed and presented both Senor and Marcellino with a roman coin as a token of his respect. Senor only hoped that now Marcellino would soon be paying him back the large sums of money he had let his family member borrow.

During this time, Jackie and Chris Tucker had obtained football tickets from Nicholas Chesterly to a Cormus Bronco's game against the visiting Electran Uwoks. The game was introduced by Electran Ambassador Thomas Griffin, who was most irritated to be interrupted by Neji, who stepped out of the void of doing nothing to announce a ridiculously detailed civic dodgeball league, mostly headed by violent members of the police and by Chris Tucker.

There were soon to be other problems at the stadium, though. Neji was informed that the Electran team's mascot, Wicket the Uwok, had gone missing. Jackie, annoyed by the delay of game, joined her in the Electran team's dressing room, where they found out Wicket had left to taunt the other team and hadn't been seen since. A visit to the Bronco's room revealed only 3 suspects who had left in the past half-hour: the Black Bronco (O.J. Simpson), Terrel Owens and the giant 'gladiator' Marco Escobito.

With Neji and Jackie deemed unable to handle this case on their own, Wheatie and the Senor were swiftly called in. Senor already knew who was responsible and wanted to arrest the Black Bronco on the spot. The others insisted on finding Wicket in the stadium's spare locker room first and having him successfully identify O.J. from a lineup, as Senor had known he would.

Enraged that the police had 'framed' him once again, O.J. made a break for his white bronco parked in the parking lot, but the officers followed just in time to shoot out his tires. The Black Bronco returned to do battle and was joined by Marco Escobeto, who refused to let his team-mate be taken away right before the big game. Marco's brawling did a heavy number on Neji, while O.J. assembled various firearms of increasing size in the background, protected by his legal defense team. In spite of being an Unlikely Suspect in the case, Escobeto promptly fell to concentrated fire from the cops. But by the time they turned back to O.J., he was sitting in a Howitzer which promptly blew Jackie halfway across the map. Jackie groaned and started putting on various casts. Meanwhile, Senor received a series of care-packages from his family. The first was a bottle of tequila which didn't seem to help the fight very much, but did please the Senor. The second package, however, was white, fluffy, ferocious and absolutely gigantic: it was El Gigantes, the fighting rooster! Senor unleashed the bird on their agressor and it laid into him with the same ferocity as it had the other roosters earlier that afternoon. Sceptical was shortly felled himself when O.J. put on the glove, but in the end Wheatie delivered the finishing blow with El Gigantes' help. Once again, O.J. Simpson would be going behind bars.

But just as the fight was won, a huge explosion rocked the upper seats of the stadium, sending the crowd into a panic. Wheatie tried pathetically to calm them, before Senor Sceptical took over that job, denying that any explosion had even occurred so convincingly that half the crowd just sat down again. But the other cops were not so certain. What could be behind the mysterious attack? Find out next time on COPS.

Note: Special thanks to Senor Jose Sceptical for writing this summary.

New Characters

Uncle Moose
Race: Denchulli
Affiliation: Wheatie's Uncle
Uncle Moose is part of Wheatie's very large and extended family, and one of only a few members of this group to renounce a rural existance in favor of the more urban life provided by the city of Cormus. Despite this, Uncle Moose retains many of his country sensibilities. This is immediately obvious from his cowboy hat, his overalls and his flannel shirt. The other dead giveaway is the fact that he's almost always chewing on a piece of straw, and speaking around it with a thick and twangy accent. Uncle Moose owns a hunting store that caters to many outdoor excursions, and also engages in peculiar activities such as cock-fighting. Like most people involved with this sport, Uncle Moose seems to believe that there's an important distinction between whether something is actually illegal or merely against the law.

Marcellino
Race: Chalchakian
Affiliation: Owner of a bodega
In addition to being the cousin of Senor Jose Sceptical, Marcellino is also the proprietor of a small bodega over in Precinct 8 with a reputation for ruthless, and some might even say outrageous, pricing. In his spare time, Marcellino enjoys betting on cock-fights. Participating in this fickle sport is often expensive, especially when importing vicious ringers all the way from Ecuador. He is also known for calling in favors mere moments after earning them. Marcellino is a swarthy man, with greying hair and a manly mustache. When involved with his illicit activity of choice, he can usually be seen wearing a dark leather jacket and sunglasses.

Colonel Namor
Race: Electran
Affiliation: ??
Not much is known about the mysterious Colonel Namor, other than the fact that his name could be an anagram for Moran. Colonel Sebastien Moran. More commonly known as Professor Moriarty's most cunning henchman. He's also an expert in mathematics, which he contends is an excellent way to pass the time. Furthermore, Colonel Namor seems to enjoy the sport of cock-fighting, and has coached several roosters to victory at some of Cormus' most competitive tournaments. Namor's attendance at these events can be verified by the calling cards he inevitably leaves behind: ancient Roman coins. Namor could be described as an evil genius, but he could also be described as a man of average height, with slick dark hair and a very precisely trimmed military mustache. He is usually seen wearing dark, professional suits.

Marco Escobeto
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: The Cormus Broncos
Marco Escobeto is another player for the Cormus Broncos football team, and is most remarkable due to his incredible size. It's been noted that his amazing muscles would not seem out of place on a massive gladiator. Otherwise, Escobeto can be described as having orange hair and a rather scruffy beard. In keeping with his profession, he can usually be seen wearing a blue and silver Broncos' uniform. Although seemingly unimportant at first glance, further contact reveals that Marco possesses a furiously jealous temperment, especially where his girlfriend is concerned. This can often cause him to fly into a clumsy rage, bashing everyone around him with indiscriminate and extremely sloppy brawl.

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