Neji – Beat Cop's Report 19

Recent Duties: Four days have passed since the closure of the Hazaltan martial arts dojo. Both Hazaltan and Picasso were arrested, while young Naruto was apparently gunned down for resisting capture. It seems that all of Naruto's claims of being the main character couldn't protect him from Rambo's automatic. He was a poor excuse for a ninja. Of course, you weren't exactly conscious to see him meet his end.

The Street Beat: (As a beat cop, it's your job to walk the streets of Cormus and keep the peace. In so doing, it's easy to gather rumours and whispers about some of the illicit activities occuring within nearby districts, and the criminal organizations performing said deeds.)

-There's a lot of buzz on the street about the upcoming Hero's Gambit. This annual event is formally considered a comic convention, where fans gather to trade rare merchandise and meet the people behind their favorite series. In recent years, this convention has even been visited by many of the superheroes on whom the comics are based. As such, Hero's Gambit has become better known as a means for the people of Cormus to meet some of the many superheroes who work within the city. Previous years have featured such luminaries as Frozone, Grand Papillon and the Human Spider. There is still much speculation over who will put in an appearance this year. The police do not formally condone the presence of these superheroes, though they have never made any effort to shut down the convention itself. Certain members of the media are not so open minded, and have labelled the organizers of the convention as criminals, despite the fact they have no official ties with any of the superheroes who sometimes show up.

Personal Notes:

-There's a big social gathering being held at Izael Manor tonight, with all proceeds going towards the Izael Foundation's charitable endeavors. Most of the city's more prominent citizens are expected to attend, including Mayor Don Atchison. Precinct 13 has been tapped to provide security for this event, probably because of your team's success in bringing down the United Underworld. You've heard some cynical observers comment that this event, and Precinct 13's presence, are being used as backdrops for the launch of Don Atchison's re-election bid. This notion doesn't bother you so long as it means you get a good chance to lobby for the important issues, like restoring a proper building for Precinct 13.

-If Don Atchison is truly planning to call the next election at this event, it might give you a good chance to question him on important policy issues. One such is the city's In Motion campaign, which seems to have been stalled perpetually by the failure of Globo Gym. Fitness is a very important part of healthy living, and you intend to ensure that the next mayor has a strong committment to this area.

-Now that the threat of the United Underworld isn't quite so pressing, Inspector Valtyrez seems to have disappeared on another special assignment. Or maybe it's still the same one he was working on before. Either way, this means that your leadership for this operation might be more than a bit questionable. You're really getting curious about what these 'special assignments' are all about.

Mini-Objective:

-Lobby for the re-establishment of the Precinct 13 building.

-Make sure Don Atchison's political platform includes an appropriate fitness component.

Wheatie – Legal Assistant's Report 20

Recent Duties: Four days have passed since you were last sent out on a case. It's also been four days since the last major workplace accident, involving that crazy kid with the scooter. Although you're still convinced that the Precinct 13 working environment is very dangerous, especially in this makeshift building, at least Nicholas seems to have adapted well to his surroundings. You're almost at the point where you feel comfortable letting him work without trusted supervision.

Book Report:

-Oh. It turns out the people can and routinely do wake up from comas. That's a real relief. That's actually what occurs in the last few pages of The Other Side of Darkness. Looks like you could have averted a lot of stress and worry just by finishing the book earlier. Once again, it just shows that you can't judge a book by its cover, or 99% of its content. Another reason never to skim.

Notes from Home:

-In an unsurprising coincidence, it turns out that your parents live only a few miles away from the Barley farm. You don't really remember associating with this Barley while growing up, but that's probably because he didn't share your views on higher education. There are some differences that are just too wide to be bridged.

Legal Report:

-With Nicholas Chesterly's help, the legal files are finally almost sorted. You've been using the Wheatie Decimal System for this task, and it seems to be getting the job done. Now if only you had proper offices to store all this information.

Personal Notes:

-That Reggie's place was awful! It was almost like the opposite of everything you liked about Monk's. They even had the gall to enshrine the fact that they wouldn't serve egg-white omelletes on their menus. Clearly, this is not the place to go for food. In fact, you've been feeling nostalgic for all the farm fresh food you used to eat back on Denchul. Unfortunately, you have yet to find a means of obtaining such unprocessed food here in the big city.

-There's a big social gathering being held at Izael Manor tonight, with all proceeds going towards the Izael Foundation's charitable endeavors. All of the city's most prominent citizens are expected to attend, including Mayor Don Atchison. Precinct 13 has been tapped to provide security for this event, probably because of your department's success in prosecuting members of the United Underworld. This should be a great chance for you to use your considerable social skills in lobbying for the return of the Precinct 13.

-People often seem to forget that arresting criminals is only half of the equation. And your scientific mind suggests it's even only the lesser half. All of that work is for naught if the legal department lacks sufficient resources to pursue a successful prosecution. Funding the legal side of the equation probably isn't as popular with the public, but it's certainly more important!

-You're still a bit shaken from Watson's death. Though you did resent that he beat you out for the social skills award, you have to admit that he clearly understood the value of a good education. Things won't be the same without him.

Mini-Objective:

-Lobby for the re-establishment of the Precinct 13 building.

-Secure more resources for the all-important Legal Department.

Jackie - Agent's Report 10

Recent Duties: It's been four days since you demonstrated your own brand of martial arts to those injury-prone fighters at the Hazaltan Dojo. They certainly couldn't take pain as well as they could dish it out. After that battle, you're pretty sure who came out as the class champion. And as you can personally attest, size doesn't matter nearly so much as ferocity.

Wokking the Streets:

-Having spent a couple of the past four days at the hospital, you haven't been able to spend too much time looking after Chris Tucker. In the meantime, he's been 'investigating' the city's night clubs and karaoke bars. It's too bad you missed out on that; you could've sung War. Anyway, the charity gala being held tonight at the Izael Manor should be the perfect opportunity to show him a good time. Unfortunately, Chris Tucker doesn't seem to have been invited to this event, so you'll have to come up with some excuse to get him inside. It's fortunate that you're good at that sort of thing.

Classified Information:

-The police are still seeking the identities of the two recently discovered victims, but have thus far come up with no definitive leads. You're not familiar with all the details of the case, but you've heard that the crimes are now being linked as the work of a single person or group. In light of this new finding, command of the investigation has been turned over to Precinct 13's Inspector Rambo.

Personal Notes:

-There's a big social gathering being held at Izael Manor tonight, with all proceeds going towards the Izael Foundation's charitable endeavors. All of the city's most prominent citizens are expected to attend, including Mayor Don Atchison. Precinct 13 has been tapped to provide security for this event, probably because of your department's success in capturing members of the United Underworld. Apparently some people think this whole event is all about Don Atchison's attempts to leverage your Precinct's success for political pursuits. You're not sure about that, but you do know that the invitation list is sure to include a lot of rich white guys. And soon Chris Tucker as well, if you have anything to say about it.

-That Reggie's place was no good at all. You've been trying to eat like a local, but that place really tested the limits of your palate. Even Chris Tucker seemed to agree that no one should be eating that greasy stuff. Next time you'll have to check out the Wok instead. It's got camel's hump, which is good even by Tucker's standards.

Mini-Objective:

-Somehow find a way to get Chris Tucker into the party at Mr. Izael's house.

-Track down all rich white guys present at the event.

Hercule Poirot – Detective’s Report 1

Work Log: Ah, oui, mon ami. Your work, it is finished. Hercule Poirot, he has retired. No longer will you deign to deal with all sorts of petty crimes and pedestrian problems. Non. Such simple matters are best left to la police. Your decision is quite final, and you're not the type to be jumping in and out of retirement like some sort of ridiculous sports star. Of course, if a case of true interest should present itself, you would not be above giving your little gray cells a little exercise. Like the theft of the Star of Rhodesia, for instance. It is unfortunate that your old foe Sherlock Holmes got to that case before you. Et bien, there's little chance that another such sensational case would turn up in a city like Cormus. You were invited down here to visit your old friend, Chief Inspector Japp, who now works in this city. Of course, your good friend the Captain Hastings has accompanied you on this vacation. He remains as impetuous as ever.

Unsolved Mysteries: (A list of mysteries that remain unsolved, only because they are beneath the attention of your order and method.)

-The Mystery of the Stolen Election: Several years ago, a Cormus businessman by the name of Don Atchison contacted you to look into the results of a municipal election. He claimed that they had been skewed in favor of his opponent, thus allowing the election to be effectively 'stolen'. Naturally, you declined to participate in such a case. You've heard that this Monsieur Atchison has since become mayor of this city, which is another mystery in and of itself.

-Costumed Freaks: A newspaper mogul by the name of J. Jonah Jamieson contacted you last year demanding that you assist the police in tracking down a group of costumed freaks that were supposedly terrorizing the city of Cormus. Of course, such a case was far too ridicule for your tastes. Mon dieu, a Human Spider? Criminal standards have certainly fallen since you retired.

The Usual Suspects: (Your eye is very observant, and already you have noted some suspicious people that are at large in this city. Et bien, you have employed your usual order and method to form the following list.)

-Sherlock Holmes: Thankfully, there has been no sightings of Holmes in this city. However, you've heard that one of his assistants, a Dr. Watson, actually lives here. It's hard to imagine someone so imbecile that they would choose to subject themselves to Holmes' presence on a regular basis. In any case, you do not wish to meet such a man.

-Moriarty: You've heard that Professor Moriarty, your arch-nemesis, has recently been spotted in this city. Perhaps it's not quite so peaceful here as you first thought. Capturing him once and for all would definitely be worth stepping out of retirement.

-Colonel Sebastian Moran: An underling of Professor Moriarty whose cunning is only surpassed by that of his master. It is your suspicion that the Colonel has tried to engineer your death on several occaisons. Of course, he has been unsuccessful. Otherwise, Moran is known to spend his spare time on jewel heists and mathematics.

Personal Notes:

-Having already dined with Inspector Japp at several awful British pubs, you have been looking for something more refined to cleanse your palate. Some filet mignon would do nicely, and you believe your sharp mind will be able to locate some at the Izael Foundation fundraising gala that is being held this very evening. Obtaining invitations for yourself and Hastings was a task most simple. Tonight, you dine in style.

Mini-Objective:

-Solve any intriguing mysteries that present themselves during your visit.

Tonight's episode takes a weird turn as the PCs find out there won't be any mini-objective time. That's right, the entire adventure will be scripted as the GM dictates, and the PCs will just have to complete their mini-objectives on the side. So what is tonight's adventure? A gigantic party at Izael Manor! Complete with string quartets, fancy colognes, and diamonds (real ones, no less!). The PCs will provide security for the event, making sure that no evil villains crash the party, and ensuring everyone follows the rules, among other stuff and things�

Party guests: Father Ted, Cardinal Callistus, Miss Vayl, Chief Quimby, Norg, Evadine, Ricky Tan, Lady DeBeers, Thomas Griffin, Don Atchison, Grima Wormtongue, Scaevoli, JJJ, Eddie Brock, Mycroft Holmes, Captain Patrick (?), and Hercule Poirot (played by Jeff). Possibly others� whom I simply cannot recall.

Senor Sceptical is not permitted to come.

Wheatie takes position as a 'greeter'. Donning a standard police uniform and a shiny police badge, he will be in charge of security at the door along with the butler, Alfred, making sure that only people with their name on the guest list are granted entry. Of course, his real objective is to beg people for legal department funding and to get good old P.13's building back. This involves random stretches of personality (such as telling Scaevoli all about police incompetencies and convincing his worship, Don Atchison, that the officers need more closet space to store their distinguished clothing from his store). Wheatie must also choose how to greet each group of people via 'polite greetings', 'booming announcement', and foreign 'formal bow' (which he never did, because it involved a failed procedure check). All goes well, except when Wheatie fails a Booming Announcement check for JJJ.

Neji is a 'patroller'. Wearing a stunning white trenchcoat, she stands around looking important to strike fear into anyone who might consider, y'know, killing or stealing or something. Of course, she also has a mini-objective, including lobbying for the restoration of P.13's wonderful building, and getting Mayor Don Atchison to include an In-Motion aspect to his next campaign platform. Her moves include 'casual salute', 'strict pose', and 'stand there not gaining a level'.

Jackie is an 'undercover agent'. Posing as a Warchon chef with a universal translator (which causes his mouth to keep moving long after he is done talking), he hides amongst the crowd, to secretly overhear hidden conversations. Before he can do this, he must, for some reason, sneak Chris Tucker into the party. Unfortunately, since Wheatie is the greeter, this could pose a problem. Jackie gives his name as some sort of complicated Warchonian gibbledegak, and Wheatie lets him in because he knows it's Jackie, claiming he cannot check the list for that name because he does not know how to spell it. Chris Tucker gives his name as 'Chris Tucker' which Wheatie simply cannot find on the list. Chris Tucker points to 'Emil Zobar' saying that it's his name. Wheatie is not fooled so easily and makes a telephone call to Emil's house� stuff happens that I can't remember and for some reason, Wheatie lets him in (perhaps just to keep the game moving). The only undercover cop move I remember is 'poker face'. [There was also 'blend in' and 'elaborate pose'.]

Poirot is not a cop, so I don't know what his mini-objective was exactly. Perhaps to badmouth Mycroft Holmes? Claim he is not French? Or perhaps just to role-play well. Nevertheless, it seems his mini-objective is really 'be smarmy'.

The party progresses until Atchison grabs everyone's attention, saying he has an announcement to make. Bla bla bla� I'm calling an election� bla bla bla� look at my smarminess� etc. During this time though, the PCs are radioed by Reeves, who claims that one of the external security groups saw something in some bushes and went to check it out, but didn't come back� (whoa�). So the PCs abandon the party, leaving Eldridge in charge. Outside they investigate the crop of trees, which surround a 17th century well. After finding one of the bodies, they hear some rustling� and WARGS ATTACK!

The PCs put the smackdown on the wargs, although they do have the ability to eat their dead friends to gain HP (hence, the purpose of the well, corpse disposal). But then The Mouth Of Sauron arrives, schooling the PCs with extraordinarily powerful duo-strikes! Poirot arrives to� save the day? Well, he is able to buy time by using ridiculous accusation on The Mouth. But in the end, most of the PCs fall unconscious (no thanks to Neji stealing both of Wheatie's medkits off of his dying, comatose body). The Mouth takes off, but not before giving us a message to deliver to Atch: something like 'He lives, and soon you all won't!' BWAHA!

So our heroes head back inside after giving Reeves a quick report. Inside, we find that the famous DeBeer's diamond (belonging to lady DeBeers) has been stolen from Izael's safe in his study. So a lockdown is put on the mansion. The PCs ask people random questions (although most of Wheatie's time is spent trying to find out why he has been sneezing violently since the battle). Among other things, the PCs find that Tairix is staying in Izael's mansion (that's not suspicious at all�) but he is able to give us incriminating evidence against Lady DeBeers herself, proving that she had not told us everything.

Turns out, that DeBeers left the real diamond at home. When she asked Izael to lock away her ring, she only gave him an empty box. She then went to the drawing room and threw the fake ring into the garden from the window. She had planned to collect the insurance while keeping the real diamond all to herself. When the PCs accuse her of this, she grabs Captain Patrick (?, what was that guy's name? [Hastings] ) and holds him hostage with a gun as she makes her way to the door. When she gets there, she is informed by the butler, Alfred, that her gun is empty. Turns out, Alfred is really SHERLOCK HOLMES in disguise, hired by Izael! (omg!) And had stolen the loaded weapon off of her during the evening, emptied it, and returned it. This infuriated Poirot, who by the way, was the cause of Wheatie's allergy (cheap cologne). A night full of mystery� all ends well... except for the dead people.

Note: Special thanks to Wheatie for writing this summary.

Hercule Poirot
Race: Tortalian
Affiliation: Private Detective
Ah, oui. In his own estimation, Hercule Poirot is one of the most famous private detectives in the entire galaxy. Others might see him as more eccentric and pompous, considering his meticulous grooming policies, his appetite for symmetry and his most luxuriant mustache. Regardless, Poirot has resolved many crimes that police considered unsolvable, first as a member of the Belgian police and later as a private investigator. His methods are almost entirely mental, relying on the stunning powers of his little gray cells. When forced into an action sequence that cannot be passed off to Captain Hastings, Poirot has been known to respond by stunning his foes with outrageous accusations, berating the mental capabilities of those around him and by taking time for some quiet reflection. He is also known to enjoy expensive chocolate, filet mignon and allergenic cologne.

Captain Hastings
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Poirot's Assitant
Captain Arthur Hastings serves as Poirot's staunch and constant companion in the fight against crime. Though not reknowned for his mental capabilities, Hastings balances this shortcoming with endless determination and British notions of sportmanship. In fact, his willingness to leap into action at the slightest provocation has made him a useful sidekick for accomplishing tasks that aren't in accordance with Poirot's rather sedate tastes. Furthermore, as a retired Deksiilan army officer, Hastings has training in both unarmed combat and firearms. As a precaution, he usually carries a PK-43 in his conservative, gray suit. Otherwise, Hastings can be described as a tall, older man with gray hair that is parted on one side, thus making it both assymetrical and the target of Poirot's frequent wrath.

Lady DeBeers
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: DeBeers Diamond Company
The DeBeers diamond company is the largest of its kind on Deksiil, and has an indelible galactic reputation for providing very high quality products. Lady DeBeers is the heir to these vast holdings, and makes no secret of her amazing wealth. However, some experts have commented that her costly lifestyle in combination with a shaky mining market might soon send DeBeers spiralling into crisis. Perhaps this was part of the motive for Lady DeBeers' attempt to collect on a huge insurance policy by faking the theft of the famous DeBeers diamond ring. Lady DeBeers is a dark-haired woman who can practically be described as a diamond mine in her own right, considering the numerous such gems that are worked into the silver tiara and the silver dress she often wears. She also carries a concealed diamond-hilted D6-Minigun.

The Mouth
Race: ??
Affiliation: ??
Little is known about the large man who has declared himself as The Mouth. He does seem to engage in a lot of trash talk, which isn't surprising given that he's such a big Mouth. He also claims to speak with 'His voice', espcially when delivering threatening messages, although it's not clear who He is, or what these threats really entail. On the other hand, it is clear that the Mouth serves as an intimidating presence on the field of battle. He wears a massive suit of black full-plate armor, which is complimented dramatically by a swirling cape and a cruel battle-scythe. His identity is concealed by a horned and visored helmet, behind which glow a pair of burning red eyes. In addition to his psychic abilities, the Mouth can also leverage his double leadership to get strategic rerolls.

Sherlock Holmes
Race: Tortalian
Affiliation: Super Sleuth
Ah, yes. Both in literature and in life, Sherlock Holmes remains one of the galaxy's greatest detectives. In fact, he created many of the cliches regarding this profession that have permeated popular culture across the galaxy. The secret to his success lies in his powers of deduction. Most people see, but do not observe; Holmes seems to find it elementary to bridge this distinction. Although he onced enjoyed the services of Doctor Watson as his sidekick, Holmes has been working on his own for the past few years. The reasons for the breaking of this partnership remain a mystery even too great for Holmes to solve. As befits the galaxy's foremost detective, Sherlock Holmes is known for wearing a brown tenchcoat, a sleuth's hat and for the ostentatious smoking of his pipe.