Neji – Beat Cop's Report 15

Recent Duties: It's only been one day since the assault on Precinct 13, and feels way too soon for another adventure to be occuring. In fact, you haven't even fully recovered from the injuries you sustained while defending the Chief's office. (You are at 50% of max hitpoints.) Not that the medical attention you've been receiving at the hospital has been helping. Previous experience suggests that your stay here is probably doing more harm than good. After all, these are some of the same doctors who forced you to attend therapy for your supposedly suicidal tendancies.

The Street Beat: (As a beat cop, it's your job to walk the streets of Cormus and keep the peace. In so doing, it's easy to gather rumours and whispers about some of the illicit activities occuring within nearby districts, and the criminal organizations performing said deeds.)

-Obviously, you haven't been allowed out on the streets since your last report. Instead, you've been confined to Cormus General Hospital, which is like its own little isolated world. They even have their own brand of myths and folk lore. One such tale involves some patient known only as the Pig Man. Supposedly, this man's resemblance's to a pig is so striking that some people have even speculated he must be some sort of cross-breed mutant. All of this seems utterly ridiculous to you, but really no more so than some of the doctors you've encountered.

Divine Rumblings: (This section is back, for a limited time only.)

-The forces of Katra have seemed relatively calm ever since you defeated Instructor Strider. Until now. Last night, you once again felt the onset of a looming dread, hanging over your shoulders like a death shroud. Perhaps the darkest days for this city are still yet to come.

Personal Notes:

-There are several cliches about how to keep the proverbial doctor away, but unfortunately they don't seem to work very well in real life. The last thing you need is some more 'treatment' from the medical establishment. Unfortunately, the Chief seems adamant that all officers be deemed in perfect health before coming back on duty. If only you could find a more natural alternative to this hospital care.

-Despite your considerable injuries, you didn't even get a hospital room to yourself. You've had to share with that new legal assistant that Wheatie seems to like so much. You're not sure what he sees in this Nicholas Chesterly; the young man spent most of the night complaining about the last time he was in the hospital, and how he didn't end up getting any ice cream after his minor surgery, despite the promises of the doctor. Really, only one so young and naive would trust a doctor anyway.

-Much as it pains you to credit Inspector Lestrade, you have to admit that his help was instrumental in identifying Mr. X. Of course, if Lestrade had come forward with his information in the first place, your task would have been unnecessary. After engaging Mr. X in combat, you have to agree that he seems like quite the slippery supervillain. Nevertheless, you don't intend to let him escape you again.

Mini-Objective:

-Seek an alternate form of medical attention that will still satisfy the Chief.

John Watson – Crime Doctor 15

Recent Duties: It's been only one day since the assault on Precinct 13. Most officers present during the siege have been confined to the intensive care unit of Cormus General Hospital. Being a doctor yourself, you were of course eminently qualified to treat your own wounds, not that they were particularly grievous. Unfortunately, the Chief insisted you be brought to the hospital for an examination just the same. Once there, the doctors on duty quickly diagnosed both your true identity and the fact that you've been practicing without a valid medical license. They also prescribed a plan that could once again validate your license. Fearing pear-shaped malpractice suits, you were quick to accept this treatment plan.

Newspaper Headlines:

-Scaevoli of the Planet has a feature article on the United Underworld and their assault on Precinct 13. He also identifies several of the ringleaders, including Devastator, Mr. X and Eastside Mario. Not surprisingly, he has completely overlooked the true mastermind behind the United Underworld. Much like the police force. Anyway, the story also mentions that Mayor Don Atchison has refused President Cerin's offer to send military forces into Cormus to help restore order. In the editorial section, J. Jonah Jamieson angrily demands, as the city's true leader, to be consulted on this matter.

Mysteries:

-Wiggins has mostly been concerned with eavesdropping on Roger Thornberry, but he's also brought you a bit of other news that seems to have been overshadowed by the current volatile conditions. It seems that the cop killer from a few weeks past has struck again. The target this time was an undercover KGB agent from Precinct 4. The officer's bloody remains were found in an abanadoned storehouse in Precinct 5. In addition, the killer apparently left a message written on the walls in the blood of his victim. Villains sometimes do that, you know. It reads only, “He lives..” Normally, this sort of case would be a top priority, but not while the United Underworld remain at large.

Personal Notes:

-Upon arriving at the hospital, you were examined by Dr. Glossan. He apparently has connections with St. Christopher's, and took only moments to pull up your file. Now he's given you a mission on behalf of the medical establishment. Apparently, there's this nut named Tor Eckman who offers alternative healing. This guy's been put away several times for endangering the lives of his patients, but resumes practicing every time he's released. You're supposed to check up on him to see if he's once again become a threat to public safety.

-Despite all your warnings, the police seem unwilling to believe that master criminal Professor Moriarty is surely behind this United Underworld movement. Typical bureaucratic oversight. As always, it will be up to the Crime Doctor alone to thwart Moriarty's carefully crafted schemes. In fact, it seems likely that the attack on Precinct 13 was aimed specifically at taking you out of the picture. Surely Moriarty is aware that success in such a venture would cripple the city's only chance of resisting his fiendish machinations. You'll have to be extra careful from now on.

Mini-Objective:

-Defend the honor of the medical profession as a true science in the face of any alternative and barbaric natural alternatives.

-Complete your mission on behalf o the medical establishment.

Wheatie – Legal Assistant's Report 16

Recent Duties: Only one day has passed since the shocking assault on Precinct 13. You never imagined that the criminals would dare attack the station itself. Just think of all the paperwork that may have been destroyed during the battle! Also, several officers were badly injured and are still being treated at Cormus General Hospital. Included in this category is the newest addition to the legal department, Nicholas Chesterly! Oh no! That was his first day on the job, too.

Book Report:

-You've been checking up in all sorts of medical textbooks to ensure that the correct procedures are performed on Nicholas Chesterly. You don't want to just leave him to the mercy of whichever doctor happens to be put in charge of him. Also, it's really interesting. The books talk about the dangers of surgery, and they mention the threat of infection through introducing foreign objects into the body. The example given in the book is that of Junior Mints, but you're not sure why mints would be flying around in the middle of an operation.

Notes from Home:

-Your last note was just yesterday, so you haven't had time to hear from your parents again.

Legal Report:

-The attack on the Precinct has indefinitely delayed all legal proceedings. Miss Vayl has been checking through the damage, and has concluded that many important documents and evidence were destroyed. Sorting through that whole mess with just two people would be really difficult, so you'll just have to make sure that Nicholas recovers quickly so he can return to his real job.

Personal Notes:

-Considering the dangerous mission you undertook, it's amazing that you escaped the garage with so few injuries. Of course, it helped that you were able to conceal yourself next to Rambo in the middle of a conveniently placed wheat field. Despite all the htis he took, Rambo declined to receive any sort of medical attention. Instead, he bound up his bigger wounds using guitar string. It was really quite amazing. Still, you're not a big fan of all those noisy guns. Fighting with Rambo would be much more tolerable if you could convince him to use his knife. Then again, the bloody knife tattooed on the back of Rambo's neck shows just how gory that might end up being.

-The source of the citizens' discontent remains unclear. It must have something to do with that hallucinogenic chemical the scientists detected in the blood samples you gave them. This is one mystery you intend to solve. And since it involves chemicals, you feel really qualified to do so. After all, you happen to have a chemistry award. This could be your chance to show that you deserve it.

-Young Nicholas Chesterly is still being treated at Cormus General Hospital. He had a really rough first day, and you intend to be sure that he fully recovers from it. Clearly, getting him back on his feet has to be your top priority.

Mini-Objective:

-Ensure that Nicholas Chesterly receives prompt and sufficient medical attention.

-Help discover the source of the city's discontent.

Neji is incapacitated in a hospital bed with minor injuries and tonsillitis, hah! The surgery is extremely risky and time consuming! How will she get out of this one? Dun dun duh…

Wheatie is preoccupied with getting Nicholas Chesterly back on the job! His injuries are quite a bit more serious than Neji’s, with a broken arm and a broken leg! It will take forever for him to recover! Or will it?

Watson is also hanging around, remarking to random people how the doctors are incompetent! This is nothing new! Will he find a new way to be smarmy? Only time will tell…

Neji needs a clean bill of health so that she can get back on the street. After she hears Watson badmouth some naturalist healer from Seinfeld (whose name escapes my vast intellect), she decides she better go visit him and signs out for the day at the front desk.

Wheatie manages to switch Nicholas to an intensive care room that he will have all to himself, complete with nurse-buzzing button. Nicholas is given all the ice cream he can eat and is on his way to recovery. But this is not quick enough for Wheatie, who decides he better visit this naturalist as well.

Watson decides to tag along with the two real police officers, for no better reason than to prove that this nonconformist doctor is a danger to society. And also to insult him. This can only go well.

They arrive at the university campus and find the doctor’s residence. His methods seem to involve hitting people in the face, making potions out of illegal substances, and placing odd pyramids on his patients’ heads. After drinking one of the vile concoctions (and turning purple), Neji gets him to sign that she has a clean bill of health. At this point, Watson is not content with just insulting the doctor, but orders Wheatie to arrest him for malpractice. Wheatie is easily convinced, but the trio must wait for back up to come from campus security to take him away. In the meantime, the doctor attacks!

Battle 1: 'Breaking the Hippocratic Oath' or 'Beating up Some Guy in his own House'

The doctor has amazing moves, which seem to be especially effective against Neji. His moves are based entirely on his medical practice, and all of them are damaging, no wonder he sucks so much as a doctor. He paralyzes Neji with a pyramid hat, inhibits her checks with distracting medical advice, hurts her with potions, and hits her… IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!222!!!!!one!@!!!!!@!@!!1122!!!! Watson also took damage. Wheatie was barely scratched. The doctor ended up being beaten quite easily, although a fair amount of psi points were wasted by the PCs (especially for Wheatie, who missed with a psi spear, which was strangely explosive). The battle is won!

An ambulance arrives (I can’t remember exactly why) and everyone piles in, including the unconscious doctor. Everyone speeds away, and the driver knocks out one of the paramedics for accusing him of stealing his candy, and then throws him out of the ambulance (now that’s an inefficient medical system). The ambulance is then stopped by a mob of rioting students, demanding the release of the doctor.

The driver hops out and starts beating up students left and right (maybe he’s the end boss). As for the PCs, they run away, carrying the unconscious doctor with them. They stop and pick up the unconscious paramedic, but are forced to duck down an ally. But unfortunately, their escape is blocked by a chain link fence. Oh no! Our heroes are trapped!

Commercial Break: Ad for umm… Mentos.

Are our heroes okay? Of course not! Rocks and tomatoes are being thrown at them! They get over the fence but are forced to drop the doctor. Things look bad but Frozone saves the day, freezing the hippies in their tracks! I think we then caught a taxi to the police labs, and left the paramedic lying unconscious on the street to be picked up later.

At the labs, Neji and Watson are told to shut up (rightfully so). It is revealed that, thanks to Wheatie’s initiative in analyzing blood found at the last riot scene, there is a chemical being spread that makes people go crazy mad and start riots. But how could it be spread so subtly? The PCs ponder this for hours, not knowing the clue lies in… JACKIE’S REPORT FROM LAST ADVENTURE!!!!!@#!@#@#!@!!@2123123!@!#@!!! The GM takes pity on their plight, and it is discovered that the chemical is being sprayed along with pesticide at the various city parks. The PCs set out on a mad chase to bring the exterminators to justice.

Turns out, despite a lack of driving skill, Neji is the best driver, so she takes the wheel of the radar car (which will allow the PCs to scan streets to see if an exterminator van is there), Wheatie mans the radar, and Watson complains at Neji with back seat driving. Credits are also spent on police roadblocks, ensuring victory. Off to Precinct 2! (2 x 1)

Our heroes combine their brainpower to catch the 3 exterminator vans (2 of which are innocent). They are assisted by Keanu Reeves who has hijacked a city bus, but will not let it go under speed 10, even if it means spinning out at corners. The chase is lengthy, but relatively easy, and Van #1 is caught. Out hops two flunky sprayer guys and… DOC OCK!!! Aaahhh!!!

Battle 2: 'Wheatie’s Hidden Rage' or 'A Smarmy Conflict'

The pesticide sprayers operate as firearms and shoot super far away (Why?)! They hit Wheatie numerous times, enraging him! He beats the sprayers to death! (Yeah, it was awesome). Doc Ock proves to be a more difficult challenge, being able to attack with 2 of his 4 arms every round. Neji is knocked out cold as Watson stays just out of range. Wheatie, being the brilliant student that he is, and having gotten over his rage at this point, realizes they must attack the arms directly (which only have 4 hit points). He blows some of them up, as does Watson. This buys some time, and Watson is able to bring Neji back to consciousness to deliver the finishing blows to the super villain. Keanu was still under the wreckage of the bus during the battle, but it was won quite handily anyway, especially with level 5 Wheatie on the team. Booyeah!

Note: Special thanks to Wheatie for writing this summary.

Dr. Glossan
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Medical Doctor
Dr. Glossan is a doctor who works at Cormus General Hospital. He's actually a St. Christopher's man, having done his training at that semi-religious and very conservative college some years ago. This has placed him in good standing with the general medical community, such that he is sometimes given authority to delegate special medical tasks. Glossan is a young doctor, with long curly brown hair, a white labcoat and a stethoscope that perpetually hangs around his neck. He is also somewhat reknowned for extolling on the virtues of the tongue, and for promising ice cream to anyone who undergoes his treatment.

Tor Eckman
Race: Tortallian
Affiliation: Hollistic Healer
Unfortunately, the medical establishment is a business like any other. And a business requires customers. Furthermore, they always want to sell you their most expensive item, which is unnecessary surgery. Now, Tor is not a businessman. He's a hollistic healer. It's a calling, it's a gift. With a description like this, it's no surprise that the medical community believes Tor Eckman is a danger to society. In fact, he's been arrested several times for prescribing illegal substances to his patients. In keeping with his faith healer persona, Tor's attire tends to be eclectic and weird. It usually consists of a gray shirt, goofy brown trousers and a mulicolored vest. When forced into combat, Tor can use intuitive abilities such as the celestial pyramid to paralyze his foes. He can also direct random asides at his foes, questioning their bathing habits or their consumption of dairy products. One of his most powerful attacks involves rubbing his opponent's face and declaring them in disharmony, after first asking their permission.

Dr. Dickens
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Scientist
Dr. Dickens was fairly recently promoted to be head of the Cormus Police Lab. In assuming this position, she effectively demoted Dr. Wagner to his current role as manager of the equipment depot at Precinct 13, though apparently he didn't get the memo on this subject. Originally a biologist and expert in monstrous marital affairs, Dr. Dickens can be described as a middle aged woman with brown hair, a labcoat and only a single frame of animation. Her competence, or perhaps lack thereof, has yet to be truly tested. Rumours suggest that much of her scientific method involves claiming she can't help at this specific time.

Doc Ock
Race: Electran
Affiliation: Mad Scientist
It's not really clear if Doc Ock was ever officially granted the title of doctor, or whether he just assumed it upon declaring himself a mad scientist. Either way, Ock is a man with little sanity or grammar. The extent of his science seems to involve the four crazy robotic arms he has fused to his back. These arms have their own AI, and though it makes no sense, they seem able to block almost any attack launched at Doc Ock. As a supervillain, it's no surprise that Ock usually wears a tacky yellow and green outfit, complete with really weird glasses and a bowl haircut. Although his motivations don't seem entirely clear, Ock appears to be working for the United Underworld. Then again, mad scientists aren't reknowned for having particularly lucid motives.