Neji – Beat Cop's Report 13

Recent Duties: It's been three days since the startling and devastating attack on Precinct 9, and the culprits have yet to be brought to justice. The survivors from that Precinct have been temporarily merged with Precinct 10's Eagles of Justice until their building can be repaired. Inspector Valtyrez and his cross-Precinct taskforce have made undeniable progress gathering evidence and raiding hideouts, but have yet to locate any of the major criminals implicated in the case. While you do have faith in the inspector's abilities, you have no doubt that your own skills would prove an asset in such an investigation. Besides, after taking that beating from Wanga-Ta, you're eager for any chance to reclaim your honor in combat.

The Street Beat: (As a beat cop, it's your job to walk the streets of Cormus and keep the peace. In so doing, it's easy to gather rumours and whispers about some of the illicit activities occuring within nearby districts, and the criminal organizations performing said deeds.)

-If word can be believed, your visit to Arkham Asylum the other day was actually a rather risky endeavor. Many of the inmates confined there are considered to be extremely dangerous, and were only kept from maximum security prisons by Falstav's psychiatric assessments. However, word on the street suggests that this isn't at all getting the criminals off easy. Conditions in Arkham Asylum are said to be terrible, and rumours swirl about dark experiments that are supposedly performed there. Discounting rumours and speculation, one of the only known facts in the matter is that Arkham has very rarely been known to release any 'rehabilitated' inmates.

Personal Notes:

-Your harrowing experiences in therapy and at Arkham Asylum have left you with a bitter distaste for psychology and the psychiatrists who practice it. Despite your clear sanity, they insisted on making you jump through all sorts of obscure and ill-defined mental hoops. It was almost enough to make for a self-fulfilling diagnosis.

-Between that creepy Dr. Falstav and the bumbling Dr. Watson, you've begun to lose respect for the medical profession in general. It seems to be a business like any other, with the doctors treating their patients as customers, fit to be strung along in whatever manner earns the most money. Clearly, meditation and divine guidance are a superior means of maintaining mental and physical health. Those are real skills that can't be conferred by the receipt of any sort of university degree.

-Upon returning to your full duties, you were quick to notice that the Precinct's one and only vending machine had been fixed. Unfortunately, whoever was responsible for stocking it really dropped the ball. It's almost entirely full of Twix and other such junk, including a row of Fifth Avenue Bars. There's not a healthy or decent snack to be seen. Small wonder most members of the force are so out of shape.

Mini-Objective:

-Find a way to participate in the big investigation into the attack on Precinct 9.

-Take every opportunity to verbally denigrate psychologists and their supposed educational background.

John Watson – Crime Doctor 13

Recent Duties: It's been three days since the Peterman caper, and since then you've been living large. At least in the sense that you've paid off your rent and the hospital bills that resulted from your encounter with Wanga-Ta. It was great to get a real paycheque again, but you never expected part of your job requirement to include putting down some savage, godless outlander. Those kinds of characters, and their exotic poisons, are best left to works of fiction. In fact, when you write up this incident, you might have to give it a bit of a different spin.

Newspaper Headlines:

-The destruction of Precinct 9 made the front page of the Cormus Daily Planet. It's hardly surprising; a story of this magnitude is simply impossible to surpress. Still, the Planet's crime reporter, Scaevoli, seems to have unearthed many details in his scathing article, including the number of dead. He also reports that the police have security footage of some of the criminals, and yet have been unable to apprehend them. The second page of the newspaper is devoted to an editorial from J. Jonah Jamieson, wherein he claims Don Atchison is letting his city fall into ruin. This is definitely not the sort of press that anyone but the craziest of mayors would want to see before an election.

Mysteries:

-Rumours have been swirling about the so-called 'United Underworld' movement, which was supposedly behind the attack on Precinct 9. In your opinion, there's only man with the cunning and charisma to unite all these disparate factions. To investigate your suspicions, you tasked Wiggins with looking into the United Underworld. This is obviously a big task to rest on the shoulders of a mere boy, but you have confidence in Wiggins' skills. He's already come up with a little bit of information. It seems the United moniker might only be an approximation. In particular, the Bleeding Hollow gang seems reluctant to accept this united front. Closer to home, Wiggins has also reported that Roger Thornberry has been acting awfully suspicious lately. Not that this is in itself unusual.

Personal Notes:

-You made a lot of money! It's a good thing that J. Peterman was willing to help you! 1000 marks may be petty change to him, but it's much more than that in your pockets. It's rent for several months, at the least. You've already renumerated your backlog to Mrs. Hudson with the cool sum of 300 marks. (Subtract this total from your character sheet.)

-This money might have to last you for a while. It seems like your publishing deal with Oxford Press has somehow gone a bit pear-shaped. Mrs. Hudson claims Mr. Cartwright left some message declaring that the whole deal was off. Dash it all! This must be some sort of misunderstanding. You can't imagine what could cause Cartwright to suddenly hang on the whole deal. Contacting him is difficult, but you'll have to do just that to get things back on track.

Mini-Objective:

-Resolve this unacceptable publishing delay.

Wheatie – Legal Assistant's Report 14

Recent Duties: It's been three days since the startling and devastating attack on Precinct 9, and the culprits have yet to be brought to justice. The survivors from that Precinct have been temporarily merged with Precinct 10's Eagles of Justice until their building can be repaired. Inspector Valtyrez and his cross-Precinct taskforce have made undeniable progress gathering evidence and raiding hideouts, but have yet to locate any of the major criminals implicated in the case. Unlike certain colleagues, you're not at all upset to have been left out of this investigation. It sounds way too dangerous. You're content to stay back at the Precinct in order to process evidence or photocopy stuff.

Book Report:

-At J. Peterman's recommendation, you've turned your attention to a book called Amazing Bear Attacks. It's proving to be quite a fascinating read. It talks about some of the more infamous bear attacks, many of which seemed to occur on Sphere. In fact, one of the historical feudal warlord factions on that planet was inspired by the prevalance of bears in that area. The book states that playing dead is one of the most effective methods of responding to a bear attack, but you have to believe that schooling them and flying away would be better.

Notes from Home:

-Unlike everyone else you've encountered so far, your parents don't seem to like your Urban Sombrero. You sent a picture back of you standing next to a photocopier, complete with a normal sized head. Then again, they hail from the farm, where straw hats and unbroken John Deer caps are the norm.

.Legal Report:

-Several legal cases have been put on hold while you and Miss Vayl process evidence uncovered related to this United Underworld. Valtyrez and his force have certainly been busy, and they've been applying for search warrants all over the place, particularly construction yards in Precinct 16, home of the K9 squad.

Personal Notes:

-In a stroke of luck, you managed to find a good haberdasher not far from Precinct 13. He calls himself the Mad Hatter, and he was more than happy to straighten out your urban sombrero, though at the expense of a small mustard stain on the brim of the hat. Regardless, your new headgear has earned the admiration of the whole Precinct. They seemed quite impressed that you were able to obtain a product that hasn't even yet been released onto store shelves. Furthermore, there has been no mention of your 'big head' since you started wearing this sombrero. Within a few days, you expect everyone to have forgotten the topic entirely.

-Some new officers have been hired at Precinct 13. One of them seems to be a masked fellow who calls himself 'The Anthropologist'. He thinks that all forms of science are biased, with the exception of his own hollistic approach. He also claims to understand culture better than anyone else at the Precinct. This is ridiculous! You're way more cultured than this guy, and you also know lots about real science. And you're not biased, either!

Mini-Objective:

-Don't let anyone take your urban sombrero!

-Show up the Anthropologist by demonstrating your knowledge of culture, french and otherwise. (Please keep an accurate list of your cultural connaissances)

Jackie - Agent's Report 5

Recent Duties: Ten days have passed since the roof of Precinct 13 was blown up by Globo gym's Sweyn Canute. The police were able to apprehend several of his accomplices, but the man himself remains at large. Extensive investigations are underway to capture this fugitive. You've spent most of the past week explaining to the Electran embassy how the Warchon tourists ended up trapped under a desk in the middle of a bomb threat. The tourists have gone to stay with Ricky Tan, in order to avoid more encounters with the 'crazy police'. Given some of the officers at Precinct 13, that might even be an accurate assessment.

Classified Information:

-Precinct 9 was attacked seven days ago during its skeleton shift. Most of the building was demolished, apparently by the Constructicons and their use of heavy machinery. All the cops stationed there were killed in the ensuing conflict. Ample security footage exists to reveal the criminals at work. In fact, it's rather curious that they didn't even attempt to destroy this evidence. In any case, the police commission is putting together a cross-precinct task force to track down those responsible. In addition to the hunt for Sweyn Canute, this has left the city's investigators with plenty on their plates.

Personal Notes:

-Leading the Warchon tourists around reminded you once again how different the culture is here compared to that of your homeworld. Even after all the time you've spent here, you're still having problems relating to the customs and the mode of dress. This surely makes you stick out like a sore thumb (something your fighting style has taught you well) and could compromise future undercover operations. There must be some easy changes you can make to your wardrobe to hide your foreign features, or at least allow you to blend more easily with the locals.

-Wow! This Wheatie kid got his hands on a really cool hat. It's like a giant cowboy hat. Yeeha! Something like that would really make you look like a local.

-After all that work, you ended up telling Conrad to put your appartment back to its original state. Apparently your input led to a really terrible design. Still, the whole process ended up costing 150 marks. (Deduct this from your sheet.)

Mini-Objective:

-Find a way to blend into Deksiilan culture.

(Note: procrastination has nothing to do with the adventure itself, just the summary, which is therefore heavily abbreviated)

Opening Scene: Was some sort of FMV that I don’t remember! Heeeyyyayeahhh!

First Scene I Remember: Wheatie and Neji argue with an anthropologist, putting him in his place, the gutter! (OH! PWNAGE!) Jackie seemed annoyingly okay with the anthropologist’s racist and stupid remarks. (BWEE!)

Wheatie’s Mini-Objective: School the anthropologist! This was done in such effective ways as using a napkin holder like a metaphor, buying him an expensive french lunch, pointing out his obvious racism, and proving the holistic approach to be nothing more than a crappy, and quite ugly, sucky thing (not like that needs any proving). Also, the urban sombrero had to be kept safe and sound (this was not so easy, everyone wants an urban sombrero).

Neji’s Mini-Objective: Possibly something to do with bashing psychologists, but more likely, something to do with subway, religion, or gyms (pronounced ‘ghimes’). She probably punched some people.

Jackie’s Mini-Objective: Blend in with the masses! This involved obtaining obscure pieces of clothing like bland baseball caps and Wheatie’s argyle sweater. Obviously, someone let him on the secret of urban slang as well, ma niggah. Jackie sent us out of the room several times, so possibly, there were other secret parts of his mini-objective (>_> <_< >_> <_<)

Watson’s Mini-Objective: That’s a tough one… possibly something to do with… some sort of ‘mystery’… Oh, what am I saying? Watson’s mini-objective was obviously to lose the power chart at the beginning of the adventure to Wheatie! Man, he NAILED that mini-objective!

The Case: A Renault-Cinq has been stolen from a car dealership in the french quarter! Find out who did it and why and then fight a boss! The PCs were pretty crappy at this one, investigating tons of false leads, without ever suspecting the car dealership owner (a french activist) would steal his own car to incriminate the english. Well, that’s what happened, and gang wars emerged! Charged with calming the crowd, the PCs used a variety of powers to cause different demographics to flee the scene.

Wheatie: “There’s nothing to see here!”
Neji: “Call my help line! Waaa!”
Jackie: “Aaahh! A bomb! Woop woop!”
Watson: “There’s no escape.”
Lestrade: “Hello, I’m Inspector Lestrade.”
The Anthropologist: “Woo! Look at me! I’m the crappy anthropologist! Flee foo’s!”

But calming the crowd was not enough, because the superhero Union Jack appeared and enraged both the french and the english. This led to a boss fight, but not before Wheatie was gassed when he went to investigate a suspicious car. Wheatie was unable to participate in the first few rounds of battle and as such, the PCs were doomed. They were all knocked unconscious when Wheatie came in to save the day and school whatshisname good. Man, Wheatie is so cool, he saved everyone. Case Closed.

Note: Special thanks to Wheatie for writing this summary.

The Anthropologist
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Precinct 13 Police Officer
The Anthropologist considers himself distinct from the other cops stationed at Precinct 13, mostly because of his distinguished education and his consequent knowledge of culture. In fact, the Anthropologist was once an official anthropology professor at the University of Cormus before deciding that he needed to personally address the inherent bias in the policing sciences. This is reflected in his appearance, which includes a carved tribal mask, a generic police uniform and a twisted yet highly cultural staff. The Anthropologist believes his hollistic approach is the only way to ease cultural relations in a multiethnic meltingpot like Cormus. Failing that, he's willing to blast foes with a Culture Shock or arm savages with the boom, otherwise known as rifles with exploding bullets.

Lambert
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Renault Dealership
Lambert is the manager of Precinct 6's historic Renault dealership, and also a confirmed french patriot. In fact, the Renault dealership was one of the first businesses founded in the french quarter. As such, it has tremendous significance amongst the bourgeois community. Although it is owned by Robespierre, Lambert is the on-site boss who spends most of his days hawking the small cars that have made Renault infamous throughout the rest of the city. As such, his description fits well with that of the archetypical used car salesman. He's an older man, with graying curly hair, a long wispy goatee and wire-rimmed spectacles. He is usually attired in a round, felt cap and a cheap, patched suit.

Johnny English
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: British
Opinions on Johnny English depend heavily on the section of the city in which they are solicited. Almost anyone in Precinct 6's french quarter is sure to describe English as a dastardly rogue. On the other hand, the British of Precinct 17 would call English a staunch patriot and all around corkin' good chap. Johnny's appearance could match him with either description, and includes a long nose, dark hair and black, tieless suits that cater to his dashing image. As befits his reputation, English's profession is officially that of a playboy, leaving him lots of time to promote his presence throughout the community. It is also rumoured that English is part of a secret British organization known only as the Limeys, though there is no consensus as to what this group actually does.

Union Jack
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: British Superhero
Union Jack is also a polarizing figure. Most British consider him a bold, bonafide superhero, while the French call him a scoundrel. Inspector Lestrade refers to him as a mere vigilante criminal. Regardless, Jack's following throughout Precinct 17 has allowed him to escape capture time and again, only to reappear later and energize his follow Britons. Union Jack's inspiring costume includes a skintight, blue spandex suit, emblazoned with the Union Jack. He also wears a similar flag as a cape, and compliments it with flared blue gloves and boots. Finally, his identity is protected by a Union Jack bandanna with conveniently cut eyeholes. In combat, Union Jack wields a pair of antique dueling pistols and wordplay with almost equal skill. His only weakness would have to be his tendancy to pause for tea right before finishing off an opponent.