Neji – Beat Cop's Report 12

Recent Duties: A week has passed since the roof of Precinct 13 was blown up by Globo gym's Sweyn Canute. The police were able to apprehend several of his accomplices, but the man himself remains at large. Extensive investigations are underway to capture this fugitive. Unfortunately, you haven't been part of them. That's because you've spent most of the last week recovering in Cormus General Hospital. Although you were ready to return to your full duties after a few days, the hospital staff have insisted on holding you for monitoring and so-called therapy sessions. Only yesterday did they grant you permission to reassume part-time duties.

The Street Beat: (As a beat cop, it's your job to walk the streets of Cormus and keep the peace. In so doing, it's easy to gather rumours and whispers about some of the illicit activities occuring within nearby districts, and the criminal organizations performing said deeds.)

-Cormus is seen by many as a melting pot of cultures, where people from all over the galaxy have gathered within one multicultural community. As a beat cop, you have a chance to experience the resulting racial tensions firsthand every day of the week. And there are times that the proverbial melting pot threatens to boil over, especially where Precinct 6 and 17 are concerned. The french and british communities have always been at odds, but recent accusations from Robespierre and his community association have left the british furious. This has resulted in several vocal demonstrations right outside the french quarter, led by one Johnny English. The british have also taken to worshipping some masked hero who calls himself Union Jack and has a reputation for humiliating the french. This seems only certain to further inflame the dispute.

Personal Notes:

-Globo gym has denied all responsibility for Sweyn Canute's bombing. Rumours have been swirling that the whole thing was a plot to encourage fitness within the force, but these have been categorically denied by a company spokesman. Still, the fact that Globo gym would employ a man of such low morals is a sign of incompetence, and it demonstrates a lack of professionalism that you find repugnant.

-Furthermore, this incident has really set back the In Motion campaign. It seems very likely that Globo will lose their contract with the city, but it's not clear who will be tapped to replace them. This means that the fitness situation might be forced to atrophy until alternate arrangements can be made. The only silver lining might be the number of stories Chins was forced to climb when chasing Canute; that's probably the most physical activity the guy's ever done.

-Unfortunately, you have bigger problems. It seems that Debbie and the Chief misinterpreted your plummet from the rooftop of Precinct 13 as some sort of suicide attempt, no doubt due to the sympathy story you told them earlier. This has resulted in several visits to psychiatric ward for therapy that considerably extended your stay in the hospital. Even now, you're expected to visit your psychiatrist, Dr. Falstav, a couple times a week. All this talking about your feelings is becoming very frustrating. Ironically enough, by the time you get through therapy, you're more likely to actually need some.

Mini-Objective:

-Convince the powers that be of your mental stability, such that you no longer have to endure visits to the psychiatrist.

John Watson – Crime Doctor 12

Recent Duties: A week has passed since you surgically defused Sweyn Canute's bombing plot. It seems a bomb squad isn't even necessary when a man of science is present at the scene. Yet once again, your sleuthing has gone entirely unrewarded. While your former Academy colleagues all received promotions, you have yet to even receive even the slightest bit of recognition. Of course, even if you did, it still wouldn't be enough to settle your overdue bills. A nice flat like yours doesn't come cheap, and while you may have dispelled rumours of your financial woes, that doesn't abate them in the least.

Newspaper Headlines:

-Today's London Guardian reads like a call to arms. It goes on and on about the most recent dastardly deeds of the french, ostensibly led by Robespierre and his bourgeois community association. In particular, the paper takes issues with the totally unsubstantiated accusations of theft and worse that have been flung at Johnny English, considered by many Britons to be one of Precinct 17's more upstanding citizens. Furthermore, English has the unequivocal support of local superhero Union Jack.

Mysteries:

-Wiggins brought back word this morning that there was a huge explosion down at Precinct 9. The police have the whole area blocked off, and aren't even allowing the media onto the scene as yet. Of course, this didn't stop Wiggins from performing his usual rascally investigations. He reports that the building itself is mostly demolished, and that at least ten cops are confirmed to have died during the incident, which apparently took place late last night. Wiggins believes that heavy machinery may be to blame, although police have released no details to that effect.

Personal Notes:

-Still no word from Mr. Cartwright. Paging him seems to have absolutely no effect. How can he possibly be taking so long to consider your manuscripts? Surely the editing process wouldn't take so long. After all, you've already demonstrated that no editing is required. You're sure that the publication of even one manuscript would be enough to end your financial troubles.

-Although it may seem like you continue to lead the high life, in truth your financial situation is perilous indeed. In fact, you're so strapped for cash that you've been forced to pay your Baker Street Irregulars with meals from Mrs. Hudson, instead of the usual petty change. It's fortunate that Mrs. Hudson has been so understanding, even deferring your rent payments for several weeks on end. Still, even her generosity must have limits. You need a case, a paying one, and soon.

-Fortunately, one may just have fallen into your hands. The eccentric J. Peterman, owner of the Peterman fashion catalogue, has sent you a telegram requesting your presence at Simpson's diner to discuss a matter of some delicacy. This may be just the break you've been waiting for.

Mini-Objective:

-Make a lot of money! Or at least enough to pay your overdue rent.

Wheatie – Legal Assistant's Report 13

Recent Duties: A week has passed since the roof of Precinct 13 was blown up by Globo gym's Sweyn Canute. The police were able to apprehend several of his accomplices, but the man himself remains at large. Extensive investigations are underway to capture this fugitive. You aren't a part of this investigation, but that doesn't mean you haven't felt its effects. In fact, the lackluster condition of your workspace is a direct result of the new security precautions that followed in the wake of the bombing. Not only did they remove the cubicles, but they also replaced your desk with a regular table! How are you supposed to get any work done in this sort of environment? Now you don't even have a drawer to hold all your yellow highlighters!

Book Report:

-After your encounter with Mr. Eldridge last week, you decided to do some research into the Andrea Doria disaster. To this end, you found a book at the civic library called Astonishing Tales of the Sea. It reveals that the Andrea Doria collided with the Stockholm in dense fog 21 miles from the coast of Nantucket. Apparently, the ship took about ten hours to sink, and about fifty one people perished in the incident. The book states that the other 1651 passengers survived after abandoning ship.

Notes from Home:

-Your parents seem unable to empathize with your new desk situation. Then again, you're the only member of your immediate family to have chosen the path of the briefcase over that of the toolbox, so maybe it's not so surprising.

Legal Report:

-Prosecuting the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners is turning out to be quite a task, and not the clean and quick sweep Miss Vayl was hoping for. There's no doubt that they'll be found guilty on charges of resisting arrest and burglary, but it's proving quite a chore to get through the legal proceedings. This is entirely because The Leader has chosen to represent himself in court and has proceeded to call every member of his cult to the stand in order to glorify their bizarre religion.

Personal Notes:

-You never noticed before, but apparently your head is enormous. In fact, you've been told that it sits atop your disproportionately tiny body like some sort of bulbous candy apple. You're not sure how this line of thought got started, but it seems to have spread fast throughout the precinct. Not only is it a lame insult, but it's also totally ridiculous. Your head is not at all too big, despite what others might say.

-Those Zoombas were really aggressive! It just goes to show that even the best of machines can be corrupted by evil owners. Still, it's given you some ideas for possible modifications to your own Roomba. It's already at adept at defusing explosives; maybe you can train it to do other things too, like fetch books or guard your appartment. That would be totally cool!

Mini-Objective:

-Deny and disprove any allegations that you have an overly large head.

-Find the root of these defamatory remarks and put a stop to them.

Chins – Officer's Report 5

Recent Duties: It's been a week since you had to climb all those stairs in pursuit of that Sweyn Canute, and your legs are still recovering. If that guy's goal was to give you the workout of a lifetime, he certainly succeeded. Furthermore, your weariness has been aggravated by Precinct 13's new security precautions. Your custom desk has been replaced with a table, which makes napping underneath it extremely risky. And as an expert in risk management, you can say that with authority.

Piles on the Desk:

-It wasn't fun watching that police robot cut apart your desk. Especially after all the modifications Conrad put into the thing, which ended up costing 60 marks. (Deduct this from your sheet). You really miss that custom desk. This table just doesn't compare. The four slender tablelegs offer no real concealment, unlike the enlarged area you had under your desk. Furthermore, there's no drawers that can be used to store candy or a pillow. How's a man supposed to work in such an environment? And by work, you definitely mean nap.

Chins' Most Wanted: -The vending machine has been fixed! In light of your heroic efforts to stop Canute, the Chief reluctantly agreed to hire a contractor to get the job done. After much of your input, Conrad was able to get the machine working again. It has yet to be restocked, but you're sure that's only a matter of time.

-Eldridge is trying to screw you again! First he tried to get that new cubicle, and now he's all on about how the vending machine should contain some healthy snacks, like granola bars and the like. The very idea of stocking a vending machine with anything but junk food is clearly preposterous, but because Eldridge survived this Andrea Doria disaster, they might pay heed to his suggestion.

Personal Notes:

-Eldridge won't get away with it this time! While you were supposed to be working, you did a bit of research on the Andre Doria's so-called 'disaster'. Turns out that the ship took like ten hours to sink after it collided with the Stockholm. It eased into the water like an old man into a warm bath. In fact, you've heard that missing the booffet (that's how you pronounce it) may be the biggest danger on these cruise ships. Sure, a few people died, but probably not many more than you usually lose on such a cruise. In short, the Stockholm may not have sunk Eldridge, but you will!

-Finally, you've received your dessert certification. This qualifies you as an official expert in desserts, with a specialization in the cacao-bean. You were granted this honorary degree in recognition of the culinary expertise you demonstrated at last year's Wonderful World of Chocolate. It's an annual fundraising event where everything is made of chocolate. You're hoping that this degree will help you do further research into chocolate, particularly into its consumption.

-While walking slowly back from Monk's the other day, you happened to encounter the eccentric J. Peterman. He was with one of his employees, a woman with a huge head. Come to think of it, her head might have almost been as big as Wheatie's. What's with all of these big heads all of a sudden? You much prefer having a big belly.

Mini-Objective:

-Convince everyone that the Andrea Doria disaster was hardly a disaster at all.

-Make use of your new dessert certification to satisfy your dark master, chocolate.

Unfortunately, this adventure doesn’t start with either an elaborate FMV sequence or lunch at Monk’s. Instead, the scene opens with an awesome black and white security video of a couple of useless red shirts in the generic precinct 9. Suddenly, there is a huge explosion and everybody dies, except the criminals, who promptly identify themselves as Devastator, leader of the Constructacons… and some random guy in a black trench coat.

The scene shifts and the PCs (except Neji and Watson) are in the Chief’s office, watching the tape as threats of a United Underworld are uttered to the security camera minutes before it, too, is destroyed. Kojack complains because he can’t see the screen over Wheatie’s huge head and the latter is enraged. But more on that later. Jackie is there, but he seems like nothing more than perhaps a cleverly placed cardboard cut-out to make everybody think Jackie was there. Watson was absent, because he’s not a cop. Chins might have been there, hard to say…

In any case, a stop needs to be put to this United Underworld and the Chief informs the PCs (well, Wheatie and Chins) that Inspector Valtyrez, who is finally back from special assignment, will be heading up a multi-cultural brigade to fight the Constructacons and whoever else might have teamed up with them to form this Underworld. More comments are made about the size of Wheatie’s head. Much to Wheatie’s disapproval.

Meanwhile, at Cormus General Hospital, Neji is learning the true meaning of psychological pain. As though the physical injuries weren’t enough, she has been forced to undertake group therapy sessions to try and cure her of her suicidal tendencies. After all, nobody jumps off the precinct unless they’re trying to kill themselves. Nobody ever gets thrown off a building wearing two layers of armour…never… Finding the group therapy sessions not to her liking and frustrated that she’s stuck here instead of on the streets where she belongs, Neji punches out the session leader and insists there is nothing wrong with her. (Everybody was thinking it, she just did it) She then meets Dr. Falstav, who will be conducting a brief examination of her mental health and sending it to the Chief. Unfortunately, this mostly consists of flashcards which seem to cause Neji to think of dodgeball. This does not bode well, however, the hospital does release her and allows her to return to work, albeit part time. Neji thinks otherwise and is intent on getting back onto the streets, full time.

Back at the Precinct, Chins walks up all the stairs to the Chief’s office… whoa.

There is also no sign of Keanu Reeves… double whoa.

As a recently certified dessert expert, Chins has taken it upon himself to ensure that the recently repaired vending machine is properly stocked so all the candy needs of the precinct can be properly addressed. He goes over the line-up with Debbie and is shocked to learn there are requests in there from people OTHER THAN HIM!!! And, true to the horrific fashion of such bad news, it appears the only other suggestion is for some horrible granola substance, taking up space better reserved for Twix. This causes Chins to seek out the source of this heinous act and intimidate them into submission.

When Chins actually goes to talk to Eldridge, however, he eventually ends up compromising for Fifth Avenue Bars instead, insisting nuget is a comparable substitute for granola. He also makes a point of telling the distraught Eldridge, who is an Andrea Doria survivor and proud of it, that the 10-hour sinking of the ship sent thousands to their NEAR CERTAIN SURVIVAL and mocks the elderly man for really not doing anything special.

On the warpath not too far away, Wheatie confronts Kojack about the big head rumours that have been viciously spreading throughout the precinct. The confrontation enrages Kojack and Wheatie ends up with a desk being flipped on top of him. Apparently the rumours didn’t start with Kojack, but really we all knew that beause Kojack really isn’t that bright. Wheatie checks out the next most viable suspect: Eldridge. After also mocking him about the Andrea Doria, he discovers that he is once again at a dead end. He then tries to talk to Rambo…

…And Wheatie’s funeral will be held next week during regular gaming sessions…

Elsewhere, the epitome of poor, John Watson hauls his sorry carcass out of his dumpster and tries valiantly to clean the dirt and grime off his least dirty and grimy suit. After all, he’s got a meeting and he needs to make a good first impression so his companion will pick up the tab and won’t mind if it’s a big bill… After all, Watson hasn’t had enough money to EAT since the start of Season 2 and will probably gouge the other guy for all he’s worth. In this case, J. Peterman probably wouldn’t even notice if he was doing business with a hobo…oh wait, he is. Peterman has a case for our dear Doctor and doesn’t want the police involved and since Watson is so freaking poor, and Peterman has offered to pay for lunch and to pay him for successful completion of the case, he has no choice but to accept.

The case: At a recent auction at Sotherby’s, J Peterman acquired a 15 000 marque piece of cake that has mysteriously gone missing from his college dorm room beer fridge. What makes this particular piece of cake so special, you ask? Nothing… except that it was a piece of wedding cake from the union of the Dragon of Sphere and Lady Sylgris… which, of course, makes it like a bajillion years old. Top suspects are Peterman’s four head writers: Walter, the bitter black guy; Gary, the Sidler; Elaine, the slacker; and Suzy, the mysteriously ill. Posing (with a remarkable lack of persona checks) as a new head writer, Watson learns that basically everybody hates or is resentful of everybody else, except Suzy, who doesn’t exist. Watson gets to work (for like the first time EVER)

Having finally gotten back to the precinct after being released from the hospital, Neji immediately goes to the Chief’s office, trying to plead her case and convince the Chief that she is perfectly sane. While the Chief seems excited to see that she seems fully ready to get back in action, he does caution her that her work load will depend on her psychiatric report that will be filed by Dr. Falstav and she will not get back onto the street until she is cleared by that report. Neji is doubtful of her chances, but decides to go see the doctor again at Cormus General.

However, she discovers that the doctor has retreated to his main office from the hospital, only coming in during the mornings to deal with patients. Her journey then leads her to Arkham Asylum where she has another meeting with Falstav (and meta-gamingly accuses him repeatedly of being EVIL and TRYING TO POISON US ALL!!!!!!!) and comes to the conclusion there is nothing he can do for her. Although he does offer to put her into an intensive therapy program that will get her back to normal in only a couple of days. Neji is skeptical about the practicality and mini-objective fullfilling nature of this request and says she’ll think about it (read: “no, get away from me, you crazy, evil man!!!”), and resigns to her fate, she’s going to have to get a doctor’s note. But she doesn’t know any doctors… not any REAL or CREDIBLE doctors, anyway…

In any case, Watson is coming to a dead end in his investigation with no new leads and an annoying ticking sound that starts up whenever Gary is within earshot, after he gave the sidler his pocket watch to keep track of him. However, when Peterman informs him that the cake has been replaced, he gets a new idea… he needs to call in an expert.

For various reasons, Wheatie, Neji, and Chins all hop into a cab (of course, manned by Akil) and head for the J. Peterman foundation. Wheatie confronts Elaine, who started the big head rumour and knocks off her urban sombrero to uncover her HUMONGOUS HEAD and it all becomes clear to him… he needs an urban sombrero, then people will shut up.

Neji arranges to buy a doctor’s note from Watson for a price of 25 marques, clearly overpriced, but Neji figures Watson needs it so badly, it couldn’t hurt to be generous once and a while – besides, it gets her closer to her next level, which is worth far more than 25 marques.

Chins does some detective work of his own on the cake in the fridge, certain that it is not only a fake, but a very good quality fake. A quick phone call to the local bakery and a miserably failed sting against Elaine later, the true criminal is unveiled. Gary the Sidler is unmasked for the true cake-pilfering fiend that he is and is given absolutely no punishment by J. Peterman, claiming that the punishment he’ll be feeling later from eating a hundred bajillion year old cake would be punishment enough. Wheatie arranges to acquire J. Peterman’s urban sombrero.

While all this insanity is going on, Neji has no need of all that petty banter and heads down the stairs on her way back to the precinct. To her surprise, she runs into two dozen large, Dortalian men in tribal gear. Out of sheer curiosity, she inquires as to their business in the Peterman building. They tell her they want to go to the top floor because they are friends of Mr. Peterman but do not know how to use the elevator. Being the helpful Armorian that she is; she helps the tribe use the elevator and is promptly squished inside with 24 large, Dortalian men. Oh well, this is CLEARLY the prelude to a fight scene and she’ll have to get back upstairs eventually, ANYWAY.

Back in Peterman’s office, the rest of the PCs are interrupted by Peterman’s secretary, Carol, who informs them Mr. Peterman has a guest, a Mr. Wanga-Ta, who wishes to see him. Mr. Peterman quickly shoves everybody into a closet and explains that Wanga is the de-facto leader of the Burmese tribe and Peterman sort of kind of took the leadership of the tribe and now Wanga wants it back officially. This needs to be done through single combat. Of course this means he’s going to make the PCs do it.

All the PCs were to fight individually, one-on-one with Wanga in the ring also known as J. Peterman’s office while everybody else waited on the sidelines, trying to help out their comrades. Wheatie went in first, trying to get as much damage done to Wanga as he could. Unfortunately, even in spite of Neji grabbing an expensive-looking vase and hurling it at Wanga, telling him to DODGE THIS!, Wheatie still did a patheticly small amount of damage and succumbed quickly to Wanga’s massive battle axe.

Neji was in next, trying to avoid getting nailed while Wanga beat his chest in a manly fashion. Eventually, after taking far more damage than she dealt (but still more than Fat Head!Wheatie), Neji was called out by Dr. Watson so she could recover.

Next in was Walter, who seemed to have quite a bit in art and was thus able to do quite a bit of damage to the raging barbarian and wearing down his psi points before eventually going down and nearly dying from a Drop of Dooooooom from Wanga.

J. Peterman didn’t do much better on the staying alive front, either. His pathetic PK-43 seemed to do good damage against Wanga, though and although his exotic stories weren’t doing very much, at least he was buying the other PCs time to recover fatigue and for Chins to heal Neji by yelling “TOMALI!!!!!” in incredibly slow motion and getting a tomali from a random barbarian, sharing it with the battered Armorian, recovering her strength.

In the ring, Chins decided he needed some chocolate and ended up spewing Bosco all over Wanga, giving him all kinds of penalties to all kinds of things. After taking some decisive action, Watson called him out too – there were experiments to be done, after all.

Needing to do a lot more damage to Wanga, Watson decided the best thing to do was to set up his chemistry set and hope for the best – with incredibly disappointing results. Promptly, the Doctor was out.

Round two for Neji and, this time, neither was playing around. Neji’s flaming fists flying all over the place and Wanga deciding it would be best to take out the pesky girl in one fell swoop. Trying to another Drop of Doom, Wanga was foiled when Neji began spinning furiously, creating what looked to be a dome of her own pure energy around her, acting as a shield. Upon contact with the blue dome, there was a mighty explosion and both combatants reeled from the impact. After that, Wanga’s intelligence must have clearly been high enough to tell him that he shouldn’t do that again and he had to switch to sloppy brawl which, generally useless as it was against Neji, was eventually enough to take her out. But she was able to do quite a bit more damage to him.

Last hope for the PCs: Chins. Generally convinced they were done for, the players sighed a heavy sigh and just wanted it to be over. Especially when Chins pulled out his gun, an act in futility in and of itself. And then BOOM! A natural 100 saved the day as HUGE damage was done to Wanga. And then another hit with near max damage. Chins’ boom stick was ON FIRE and Wanga was nearly down for the count. Unfortunately, even Chins’ meager luck had to run out some time and, with 5HP to spare, Chins was met with a sound KO.

And that’s where this adventure ends, with Neji tragically close to a level, but alas, not close enough.

Note: Special thanks to Neji for writing this summary.

Inspector Valtyrez
Race: Armorian
Affiliation: Precinct 13 Police Inspector
Some view Valtyrez as Precinct 13's only competent inspector, possibly because he was the last to appear. Or maybe because Reeves is one of his contemporaries. In fact, Inspector Valtyrez has recently become known as one of the city's top cops after several successful raids against the Bleeding Hollow gang, which allowed for the confiscation of heavy weaponry and narcotics. As such, he is often tapped for special assignments, many of which are strictly classified. Valtyrez is also one of the few Armorians working for the Cormus police force. He has the typical noble build, with long golden hair and fair features. He is usually seen wearing blue Armorian armor, embossed with the police crest. His azure cape is marked in a similar fashion.

Dr. Falstav
Race: Denchulli
Affiliation: Arkham Asylum
Dr. Falstav is fairly new in town, but has quickly risen to become one of the city's top psychologists. Furthermore, his expertise in this area is often brought into court for testimonies on the mental state of criminals. When he's not on the stand, Dr. Falstav can usually be found serving time at Cormus General Hospital or running Arkham Asylum, where he treats many patients. Falstav is a young man, with stringy black hair that is usually slicked back, creepy eyes and glasses. As befitting his profession, he is always professionally attired in a dark suit, with a briefcase never far from his side.

Gerry the Sidler
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Peterman Catalogue
Gerry is the most recently hired head writer at the Peterman fashion catalogue. In fact, he's only been working there for the past several weeks. Still, Mr. Peterman feels he's made several worthwhile contributions to the company mostly by showing up in time to sponge up credit and disappearing before blame can be laid. These are made possible by Gerry's sidling abilities. He's a real sidler. Gerry also enjoys the animosity of all his coworkers, possibly because he seems to consider everything stored within the company fridge to be free for the taking. Gerry has poofy brown hair, a smarmy smile and a beige suit. He is also sometimes encumbered with noisy objects, such as watches or Tic-Tacs, in order to hamper his gratuitous sidling.

Elaine
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Peterman Catalogue
Elain is another head writer who works at the Peterman catalogue. She is known to be abrasive and more than a little duplicitous. She is also said to greatly resemble Suzy, a higher ranking writer at the catalogue who is rarely seen. Elaine has curly black hair, a ginormous head and usually wears black suits. She has also recently taken to wearing an urban sombrero, the latest Peterman offering which combines urban style with rural sensibilities. Plus, this serves to make her head look more appropriately sized for her body. After all, anything looks small underneath an urban sombrero.

Walter
Race: Loracian
Affiliation: Peterman Catalogue
Walter is the third head writer at the Peterman fashion catalogue. Walter would also claim that, unlike his colleagues, he worked his way up to his position by studiously climbing the corporate ladder, as opposed to benefiting from Mr. Peterman's whimsical management style. Having worked this hard, Walter takes his job and his career very seriously. He won't do anything that could jeopardize his prospects at the company, including backing down from an angry barbarian. Walter is a dignified man, with short dark hair and a style of dress that mirrors that of his employer. This includes a dress shirt and pants, and a shiny gold vest. When called into combat, Walter usually rips the shirt off to reveal impressive muscles and some decent martial art skills.

Wanga-Ta
Race: Dortalian
Affiliation: Burmese Tribe
Wanga-Ta is the self-proclaimed King of the Jungle, and also the de-facto leader of the Dortalian Burmese Tribe. However, Wanga's leadership was contested by J. Peterman, who visited the tribe during his travels several years ago. Peterman used verbal spars to humiliate Wanga and argue for the position of head, and left the planet before Wanga could face him in single combat - the traditional Burmese method for determining leadership. As such, Wanga-Ta's title could not be official until he tracked down Peterman and resolved this challenge. Given that Wanga-Ta is a massive barbarian, complete with huge muscles outlined in warpaint and feathered hair, Peterman was not eager to face such a challenge. It might also have had something to do with Wanga-Ta's massive battle ax.