Police Academy. The place where hopeful recruits and delivery boys are molded into police officers or bloody pulps, whichever comes first.

Major Pain is in charge of the grueling 6 week boot camp, promising to make it violent and annoying, and a major flop with the critics. Roll call: Caesar, an Xtremely bad ass biker to the MAX!!!1 from Fenixa, practically oozing mountain dew he is so on the edge and hip. Except his helmet, which has a very cute bunny on it. KAWAII! John Mcguire, hard-fighting hard-drinking chain-smoking guy who looks like Bruce Willis. Dr John "Have you heard of me?" Watson, who no one has heard of. Apparently a crime doctor who is a legend in his own mind, forever deducing and being from the 1800s. Neji, a ninja from the village of the Hidden Leaf... Or a Zelzakian girl. Either way, pupiless creepy eyes, kung fu hurt you bad. Finally, Wheatie... AKA Isaac. AKA the delivery boy who was bringing donuts and didn't actually intend to join the police academy. Flannel and green, with very cool pine green hair. Additionally, a big fat man behind the desk with multiple chins... named Chins. Donut consumption: Extreme. And the instructor of High Society, or at least being stylish, Ambrose McStylish, from Stylishtown. Significant features: Man Scarf.

Being a jerk, Major Pain then decides to run everyone through the obstacle course, put together by Ambrose. Because teamwork and screwing each other over is important, the first half is run in teams of two. Wheatie signs up with the Doc because they are both men of higher learning, or at least wish they were, then the other 3 make a team of 3 because it is clearly advantageous and beating the system. Then Major Pain rained on the parade by teaming Caesar, aka Bunny Boy, up with Chins, aka TOTALLY USELESS DEAD WEIGHT. Seriously.

Then the obstacle course happened, with team Caesar falling behind and everyone else finishing the first half of the course much quicker. Things were slowed down for some as it turned out Wheaty had very little hope in hell of passing through the Jungle Gym. Eventually Neji finished the course first and with extreme willpower pushed the Pain Train with the added weight of Payne and Ambrose, winning the training thingy. Then everyone else came in second. And Watson was a big loser.

After that, it was off for lunch in the cafetorium, where it turned out donuts and coffee are indeed the only sustenance allowed for trainees. Also, that the police academy was a hobbit safe house, with Fatty, Pippin, Merry, Sam and Mr. Underhill all there, being fat and impetuous and used by everyone and so on. The only other person in there was Strider, instructor in Covert Ops, who was totally breaking rules and smoking a pipe. Cause he's a rebel. Dorm rooms were taken, gigantic beds were devised, and off to the foyer for more training with Pain.

Really not so much training as everyone attacking him desperately. He immediately destroyed the morale of Wheatie with his apparently insulting nickname, and then did the same to the valiant Bunny Boy right quick. It was soon obvious that the Major could take the pain, blocking a majority of the attacks sent against him. He then demanded that Wheaty and BB drop and give him 20, meaning Wheaty could either drop dead right there or try and do push ups, making fiendishly difficult Strength checks... which he eventually did. After the battle. So the fight went on, with Watson being full of himself and Neji spewing chakra out her pores and Mcguire taking shots in the shoulders. Ambrose came down to complain about the ruckus, but Pain made him give him 20, and since Ambrose disliked the idea of getting all sweaty, chose to instead fall unconscious. After finishing his push ups eight rounds later, with everyone falling before Major Pain's bullets and Boot Camps, BB leapt to victory with a fairly weak stab of his short blade. Then the adventure ended. Also some girl instructor was around who was basically the tour guide. But she didn't do anything cool.

Note: Special thanks to Caesar for writing this summary.

Caesar
Race: Fenixan
Affiliation: Police Recruit
Caesar is a young Fenixan biker who is most remarkable for being eXtreme, in almost every way. In fact, the aura of attitude created by his leather jacket, his frosted hair tips and his radical d12-based short blade is only marred by the bunny drawn on his helmet. Caesar has tried several times to deny responsibility for his odd choice of headgear, though without any further explaination, his denials seem eXtremey weak. As such, he has been temporarily dubbed with the nickname of Bunny-Boy.

Neji
Race: ??
Affiliation: Police Recruit
Neji is an enigmatic woman with outlandish clothing and strange eyes that are apparently lacking pupils. Although some adventure summaries may claim otherwise, there remains no proof that she's actually a ninja of any sort. In fact, her background and even her race remain mysteries. She seems to be a dutiful and determined recruit, with amazing physical capabilities and combat powers that continue to confuse her colleagues, despite appearing to be nothing more than flaming punches.

Dr. John Watson
Race: Tortalian
Affiliation: Crime Doctor
Dr. John Watson is the Crime Doctor, apparently a fully qualified physician who has now devoted his life to solving crime. He claims to have great powers of deduction, with which he is capable of disecting any mystery with an almost surgical precision. Despite these vaunted skills, no one else seems to have to have heard of John Watson, or have too much respect for his skills. With the noted exception of Wheatie, who seems to look up to anyone with a prestigious degree. In combat, John Watson wields a handgun with a skill that belies the way his opponents seem to ignore him in favor of more 'important' targets.

John McGuire
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Police Recruit
Unlike the majority of the young recruits, John McGuire is an older man who looks like he's been around the block a few times. This also seems to have given him a rather jaded perspective and an appetite for substance abuse. It's rare to find him without either booze or cigarettes in hand. Usually this only occurs when he's got his gun out, which is somewhat frequent. He also seems capable of turning the other shoulder towards oncoming gunfire, which results in bloody wounds but little permanent damage.

Wheatie
Race: ??
Affiliation: Delivery Boy/Police Recruit
Wheatie is a gangly student from Denchul who displays some of the awkwardness and naivity typically associated with youth. He was employed by Atch & Co., a fashionable menswear outlet who dispatched him to deliver donuts to the Academy. In a confusing turn of events, this resulted in Wheatie being recruited into the training program by Major Pain, who also dubbed him with his nickname because of his rural origins. This was quite apparent from his flannel clothing and pine green hair. In combat, Wheatie follows the philosophy that knowledge is power, which translates into hitting people with heavy books and amber psi energy.

Ambrose
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Police Academy Instructor
Ambrose is not your stereotypical cop. He deals in the area of high society crime, which coincidently enough requires him to spend a lot of time at exclusive, upper-class establishments. In order to fit in with this discerning crowd, he is always dressed in the latest fashions, up to and including a man scarf. Now posted at the Cormus Police Academy, Ambrose demonstrates that he not only has class, but also teaches it as well. Particularly in the areas of high crime in high society. In combat, Ambrose wields a saber, a true gentleman's weapon.

Chins
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Police Academy Staff
A giant of a man whose size is inversely related to his work ethic. Other then that, Chins could be described as a balding man with several chins who is almost never seen without either nachos or a chair. Preferably both. At some point, Chins apparently made it through basic training, though it seems clear that this must have occured before Major Pain became involved with the Academy. Already employed by the police force, Chins now fulfills all the administrative functions at the Academy. He has yet to be seen in combat, though it should be noted that he has both a gun and a penchant for decisive action.

Major Pain
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Police Academy Instructor
Major Pain is certainly called such by his recruits. Of course, he would also characterise some of them in the same way. Especially if they lack discipline, which tends to be the Major's number one priority. At least insofar as discipline translates into push-ups. As could be expected, Pain looks the part of a modern drill-sergeant, with military fatigues, big sunglasses, big boots and a big handlebar mustache. He also has a whistle hanging around his neck, which could even increase his belligerence and willpower. Pain's other combat moves included dubbing his students with humiliating nicknames and giving them a taste of boot camp.

Samuel de Champlain
Race: Deksiilan/French
Affiliation: Headmaster of the Police Academy
An older bonhomme with a taste for fine dining and tangential storytelling, Samuel de Champlain is nearing the end of a long and fruitful career with the police departments of Cormus. Some of the achievements he mentions most often include the founding of the city's french quarter, which coincided with the creation of Precinct 6, 'Le Surete', and the random hunting of leopards. In recognition of his contributions, he has been granted command of the Police Academy, so he can mold new generations of recruits in his pioneering image. This image could be described as slick white hair, bushy mustaches and safari clothing, in addition to a backpack full of maps and other important strategy documents.

Millernia
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Police Academy Instructor
Instructor Millernia is one of the police's most photogenic officers, and is consequently often involved in public relations initiatives. She's also in charge of recruitment and retention at the Academy, during which she unfailingly attempts to present the police as a professional, efficient and courteous organization, at times contrary to the image portrayed by some of her fellow instructors. To this end, she is usually neatly attired in her police uniform, complete with several medals of good conduct and a rather short skirt. She teaches classes that deal with Social Skills, in addition to police protocols and procedures.

Frodo Baggins
Race: Hobbit?
Affiliation: Police Recruit
A young man ostensibly from a rural community outside of Cormus, Frodo and his fellow hobbits are most remarkable for both their diminutive height and their lack of footwear. Frodo's other saliant features include curly black hair, a hooded green cloak and a gilded dagger than hangs from his belt. Initially, he was trying to pass himself off as a 'Mr. Underhill', but these attempts were swiftly spoiled by the precocious Pippin. Although short in stature, there are times when Frodo seems to display a great inner strength that belies his otherwise wussy persona.

Samwise Gamgee
Race: Hobbit?
Affiliation: Police Recruit
Samwise is another hobbit who enrolled at the Academy alongside Frodo Baggins. While just as short as his companions, Sam has a bit more girth going for him. He also has curly brown hair and a demeanor of having walked through the fires of hell itself. This seems to have resulted in sunken cheekbones, smudged with dirt, and torn clothing that looks like it has seen better days. Sam is very protective of 'Mr. Frodo', and has vowed on numerous occaisons to look after his apparently fragile friend. This might even include sharing some of the lembas bread that Sam carries at all times.

Peregrin Took
Race: Hobbit?
Affiliation: Police Recruit
Peregrin Took refuses to be shackled with such a cumbersome name, and thus is known much more widely as simply Pippin. Dressed all in forest green, Pippin often allows his enthusiasm and Irish spirit to get him and his friends into trouble. Although some allege that he commits this mischief on purpose, it seems more likely that it's a result of his combination of impetuousity and clumsiness. Both of which are considerable. Pippin is also very curious, eager to experience the wide world outside his rural roots. His discoveries usually tend to excite him tremendously, especially in the case of the legendary pint.

Merry Brandybuck
Race: Hobbit?
Affiliation: Police Recruit
Merry is one of the more worldly hobbits, and sometimes serves as a tempering influence for some of his more impressionable friends, namely Pippin. However, he has also been known to mastermind some of the mischief that the two instigate. Still, even with this character contradiction, Merry remains one of the more bland hobbits, and on the whole is most often regarded as not quite as much of a burden as certain other hangers-on. Such as Fatty. Merry's appearance is typical Hobbit, except for his straight brown hair, which is somewhat of an anomaly in the company of his curly-haired companions.

Fatty Bolger
Race: Hobbit?
Affiliation: Police Recruit
A rotund Hobbit whose appetite for food is only matched by his craving for attention. In fact, Fatty seems to have tagged along with the other Hobbits purely to avoid missing out on the spotlight. Certainly he doesn't appear to be particularly friendly with any of his travelling companions. Instead, he seems more determined to ensure that he is one of the main players in whatever events come to pass. When he's not seen gorging himself on whatever food happens to be available, Fatty can often be noticed adjusting the wide belt he wears around his even wider waist.

Strider
Race: Deksiilan
Affiliation: Police Academy Instructor
A reclusive man who spends a lot of time watching the new recruits in silence. In fact, he might seem quite unfriendly were he not constantly smoking a pipe. Strider maintains his enigmatic aura by shrouding himself in a hooded black cloak. This shadows most of his face, leaving only his unshaven chin visible. A man of few words, Strider seems to be an appropriate choice for a covert ops and stealth instructor. He seems to have little patience for idle chatter. It has also been darkly speculated that Strider neither knows nor cares about the concept of second or third breakfast.